The Lips of Evil

“Deko?” He said in shock, as I pulled away, with a gasp, I knew nothing good could have come from this.

I’d been dating Andy Biersack, better known as Andy Six, or Sixx, for the better part of two months. He was one of the sweetest people I had ever met, and of course I felt bad for what just happened. He caught me kissing Ronnie at the Christmas party.

I knew going to the party was a bad idea in general. Ronnie Radke was notorious in our area, even if it was just Los Angeles. I knew Ronnie was going to be at the party, it was one of the things that drew Andy to it, one of his idols at a party with him the thought just blew his mind.

I had known Ronnie back when I lived in Nevada. I used to hang out with Max and their other friends all the time.

I almost looked up to Ronnie, he was one of the first guys I was seriously into, but he always had girlfriends, and I wasn’t easy enough for him. At the time he was really in his drugs and ended up just being annoying and horny half the time.

But none of that is a justification for what happened.

The night started with Andy and I happily driving to a party a bunch of people we knew were having. When we got there Andy took both our jackets and ran them out to the car since he didn’t trust the pile that was forming. That’s when he saw me.

“Dekota? Oh my gosh! Come here!” He said as the mob of people moved forcing me over to him.

“Oh, hey Ronnie, Happy Birthday.” I said hugging him warmly.

“Thanks.” He smiled.

We walked around and talked for what felt like at least an hour, before I decided that I needed to find Andy before something bad happened between the two of us. It was too late.

“Ha-ha, Dek, we’re under the mistletoe.” He said with his devilish grin.

I was about to stop him, but it was too late, his lips pressed to mine, less than a second later. Not knowing what else to do I kissed back. I knew with Ronnie I wasn’t strong enough to fight him off and I didn’t want to cause a scene. Plus I was finally getting the chance to kiss Ronnie, a dream I had since I was fifteen, of course at the time he was almost twenty one but that only made me want him more then.

“Deko?” His voice rang through my head, shocking me like a slap to the face.

“It’s just Mistletoe, bud.” Ronnie said before walking away likely in an attempt to find beer and probably a cute girl.

“I’m sorry, Andy, there was nothing I could do to stop it, believe me.” I pleaded as the hurt look on his face turned into a blank stare.

“I understand, it’s mistletoe, you have to kiss under the mistletoe.” He said, all life had seemingly left his face.

He was pale as ice and his eyes looked like shattered glass. Even his lips lost all their color.

“Andy, I’m sorry, please understand?” I begged as he started to walk away.

“I do understand. Are you ready to go?” He asked, the emptiness scaring me more than I thought it would.

“More than.” I said with a sigh, as I felt the lump in my throat signalling I was about to cry.

The drive home was long and silent, I was to afraid to speak, since either one of us could start crying.

By the time we got home I knew there would be yelling the second our door was closed.

“Do I really mean that little to you? That the first chance you get you go and kiss Ronnie?” He yelled.

“Would you just let me explain?” I begged.

“Why should I? It’s clear you’ve begged for his approval for the better part of five years, you finally get it, and that’s how you react.” He said bitterly.

“Andy you don’t understand, he kissed me, and I’m kinda too weak to do anything about it.” I snapped.

“You could have pushed him off or slapped him or something.” He retorted.

“Oh yeah that’d go over well, he’d already been drinking, at that point I’m lucky I didn’t get groped. I love him and all but not nearly the same or as much as I love you.” I yelled almost crying.

“Really? Then you’ve got a great fucking way of showing it.” He argued.

“Andrew, I’m sorry, okay I couldn’t be sorrier.” I said pleadingly.

Just then my phone buzzed with a text.

“Look I’m going out for a bit, you can cool off, I’m sure we’ll argue later.” I said grabbing my jacket and closing the door behind me.

I walked to the coffee shop not far from where Andy and I lived.

“Hey.” I said as I sat down across from him.

“Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get what’s his face mad, I just figured you’d be single.” He apologized.

“I guess its okay, he’s really pissed, but hopefully, I can talk him down.” I sighed.

“Coffee?” He asked getting up to get himself another one.

“Hell yes.” I replied.

Ronnie came back a few minutes later with two hot cups of coffee.

‘Thanks.” I said letting out a breath.

“I’m sure I owe you after all the coffee runs you paid for back in Vegas.” He replied.

“Yeah, that’s true. So how are you?” I asked moments later.

“I’m doing okay, out of jail, and off of drugs, so I couldn’t be better.” He said with a smile.

“How’s Butternuts?” I asked with a soft laugh.

He pulled up his pant leg enough to see his calf.

“He’s still there.” He smiled looking down to his tattoo.

“I’ve missed you Ronnie.” I said with a smile.

“I’ve missed you too, one of the only people from back home that’ll apparently still talk to me.

“How could I not? I’m sure you remember what I was like a few years ago.” I said almost playfully.

“Too be honest, I was probably too high to notice.” He replied.

“Yeah, I’m sure things would be much different if you had of noticed.” I sighed.

“What do you mean?” he asked confused.

“Well, I would have never met Andy, and that would suck for me, since he helped me over all the things I thought I was getting over with you and Max all those nights.” I explained.

“Well for your sake I’m glad he’s there, you’ve done well kid.” He said lovingly, a tone I’d never heard come from Ronnie before.

“Even if it’ll probably all be over tomorrow.” I sighed.

“Again, I’m really sorry, I’ll talk to him if you want; get him to see it was my fault.” He offered.

“No, Andy loves you; you’re one of his idols, that wouldn’t go over well. He’d just get more furious at the both of us.” I sighed.

“You want me to drive you home?” He asked a few minutes later.

“Weren’t you drinking earlier?” I asked confused.

“No, I don’t drink anymore, but no one wants to come near me half the time if they think I’m sober.” He replied.

“Well than, sure.” I said with a smile as we left the cafe.

By the time I got home Andy had probably been asleep for an hour or so, even if he was still awake I didn’t want to risk it. I pulled off my jacked and curled up on the couch. I stayed there staring blankly until my eyes were too tired to stay open and I finally drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to the sounds of Andy moving around the house.

“So you did come home last night, I thought you’d just spend the whole night with Ronnie.” He said bitterly.

----A N D Y ‘ S P O V----

“Look I’m going out for a bit, you can cool off, I’m sure we’ll argue later.” She said grabbing her jacket and closing the door behind her.

I fell to my knees. Tears building, filling myself with anger.

I guess two months don’t mean much to her, she kissed him. I mean I should have expected it, she had been begging for his approval for years, even before I met her. I can’t see why I’m not good enough for her, why she’d need to go kiss Ronnie mother fucking Radke.

Words she had said millions of time before rang through my head, ‘I’ll never cheat on you Andy, I promise I’ll treat you better than she did’. The ‘she’ in that sentence referred to my last girlfriend, who had cheated on me several times. As I replayed them in my mind over and over again they ate right through me.

I knew heartbreak was her favourite pain. Every time we talked about previous
relationships she always mentioned how she liked the way being heartbroken felt, the pain made it all seem real. I however just grew to hate the feeling even more.

Eventually I crawled into bed, and fell asleep; half wishing she was laying next to me, in my arms.

When I awoke around seven in morning, I noticed she hadn’t crawled into bed like she normally did when she was out at night. I sighed and pulled myself out of bed.

I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen to make breakfast. A few minutes later I saw Dekota walking into the kitchen groggily.

“So you did come home last night, I thought you’d just spend the whole night with Ronnie.” I said bitterly.

“Yes, I did, and with you being so immature I considered going to Ronnie’s just to avoid this goddamn fight.” She snapped.

“I’m not being immature.’ I muttered, arms crossed and looking at the fool.

“Yes you are Andy, what happened was something I didn’t have any control over and if I could have prevented it I would have. And I hope you fucking know that.” She replied.

“I don’t know what proof I have of that that would even let me believe you.” I said, trying to not yell.

“You know what, I was coming to find you so you and Ronnie could hang out, because I know you fucking idolize him. Ronnie thought he’d be cute and point out the mistletoe and he kissed me, I didn’t kiss him. In his defence he didn’t know I was dating you either.” She said in one long breath.

“So you didn’t do anything to stop it.” I argued.

“Well it’s not like it was some passionate make out session, it was a small kiss, by the time I knew what happened it was too late because you saw and it ended. Look I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do about it now.” She said, I could tell tears would fill her eyes at any moment.

The thought of her crying because of me made me mad at myself, that was something I had promised I’d never do to her.

“I still don’t really believe you.” I said looking to the floor again.

“I know you don’t but please trust me, I fucking love you, and you’re making a big deal out of something Ronnie did to me, which in turn hurt you.” She pretty much yelled, tears streaming down her face.

“Y-you love me?” I asked caught off guard.

“Well not when you’re like this, but yeah.” She said almost as if she didn’t want to admit it, or like she was forced to say it.

I pulled her as close to me as I could and wrapped my arms around her.

“I love you too.” I said as I kissed her forehead.

Even though I loved her just the thought of him kissing her, I just wanted to punch him, I had the same gut feeling every time she said his name. I knew I’d never be able to let my guard down with her again. I just admitted to her that I loved her and yet the feeling was decreasing with every passing thought.

I couldn’t help but think of all the times we just ended up crying together over the lives we lead before we met each other. She had nearly the same shitty high school experiences. There were only a few real differences, I was called a fag every day until I left the city and she was called a slut. In reality I wasn’t gay and she wasn’t a slut.

She had been raped by a guy in her high school who had then started spreading the rumors that she was easy and she had pretty much forced him into it. People just thought I was gay because of the way I looked.

I knew that both of us had spent the better part of our lives out of high school trying to hide those things from the people we knew, and even the ones we didn’t.

And now the only thing we had, aside from music, that we didn’t hide was falling apart and all I could say to her was ‘I Love You’.