Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

I didn’t drive home. I drove to Zack’s parents’ house. And as I do many times before I go into anyplace, I sat in my car for a while. I looked at the house that I’ve been to many times, but not many in the past two weeks that I’ve been back in Malibu.
I looked to the side of the house where I spotted two bodies. They looked like they were making out. I was horrified thinking that it was Zack. But he wouldn’t do that to me, would he? No. Surely he wouldn’t after all that he’s said to me today.
I got out of the car and walked slowly to the side of the house. My heart was beating so hard that I was sure that my chest was moving up and down. I had a giant knot in my throat. I swallowed it and got closer.
“Jake?”
The two of them stopped making out. I was relieved that it was Jake, but shocked that he was making out with another boy. I really don’t think that Jake was gay. I personally think he’s doing this for attention.
“Rain? What’re you doing spying on me?”
“I’m not,” I said. “I just came to see Zack.”
“Hey, are you two back together? He doesn’t wanna tell me anything.”
“I-I think we are,” I said.
“Hey! That’s great!”
Jake walked over to me and hugged me. In the meantime, his make-out buddy was in the background looking like he felt awkward and uncomfortable.
“Oh, sorry. Rain, this is Deacon,” said Jake. “Deacon, this is my brother’s boyfriend.”
“Hey,” said Deacon.
“Hey,” I said.
“Deacon, I’ll call you later okay?” asked Jake.
“I guess that’s my cue,” said Deacon.
Deacon walked off and Jake and I started to walk towards the front door.
“So what’s the deal with that boy?” I asked.
“It’s just fun. You know about that right?”
“Jake, if this is who you are—that’s great—but I don’t think it is.”
“Come on, Rain. This again? I’m just having some fun.”
“That’s not okay,” I said. “Jake are you gay or bi or what?”
“I don’t know. Why do I have to put a label on it? Why can’t I just be attracted to whoever I’m attracted to. Gender shouldn’t matter.”
“You don’t have to tell me that, Jake. Stop avoiding my question.”
We stood in front of the front door having our conversation. As we talked, the door opened. Zack was the one who opened it.
“Hey you,” said Zack to me.
“Hey,” I said.
“What’re you guys doing out here?” he asked. “Come inside.”
Jake and I walked inside and I knew that I shouldn’t tell Zack about what we were talking about. I don’t know that Zack would be mad at Jake, but I do know that he would make himself insane with worry about him. It’s just not healthy for Jake to be experimenting like this. I knew that it was up to me to help him.
But when I walked into the Morgan house, I immediately gravitated towards Zack. His parents weren’t home. He and I sat on the couch. We sat towards each other and smiled. Our fingertips met and rubbed each other.
“So what did you think about today?” he asked.
“You,” I said. “I love you, Zack. I wanna make this work.”
Zack sighed. “I was hoping you would say that.”
We started to move closer and into a kiss, but suddenly Jake was at the doorway making exaggerated kissing sounds.
“Jake! Go away,” said Zack.
“Hey, I live here. You’re the guest remember,” said Jake, smartly.
He walked into the living room and inserted himself in between us on the couch.
“So…you girls are finally back together. What took you so long?”
“Jake, do you mind?” asked Zack.
“Mind what?”
“We’re trying to have a conversation,” said Zack.
“It’s not like I don’t know all the details of your relationship anyway.”
“That doesn’t mean that you can listen to our conversation. Now go do your homework or something.”
“I’m on spring break, genius.”
“Just go do something,” said Zack. “We’re trying to talk.”
“Okay,” said Jake. “Maybe I’ll give Deacon a call.”
I really hoped Jake was going where I think he was going.
“Yeah, go have some fun with your friends,” said Zack.
“Oh yeah, Deacon and I have a LOT of fun together.”
“What?” asked Zack.
“Jake, really? Not now,” I said.
“What’s going on here?” asked Zack.
“Oh, Rain’s talking about just now when he caught me and Deacon making out on the side of the house.”
“What? Jake, you’re not into guys right?”
“I don’t know. What does it matter anyway? I’m just having a good time. He’s a good kisser.”
“Jake, what have I told you? You can’t just go around making out with guys,” I said. “It’s not right.”
“Wait—You knew about this?” asked Zack.
“Kind of,” I said. “I could him at the wedding with one of the waiters and just now.”
“And you didn’t think of telling me?”
“Zack, it’s not exactly my business to tell.”
“He’s not your brother, Rain. You had no right to keep this from me.”
“Fuck you, Zack,” said Jake. “Rain’s been more of a brother to me this past two week than you have. You didn’t even ask me to be in your wedding.”
“I didn’t ask you because I knew you didn’t approve of it.”
“Yeah, because I knew all along that you belonged with Rain. And I was obviously right.”
“Just-Just go upstairs. I need to talk to Rain.” Jake rolled his eyes when Zack said this. “Now!”
Jake got up and slinked upstairs.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you,” I said.
“No, I’m sorry,” he said. He sighed. “Thanks for being there for Jake. I’ve just had a lot of things on my mind.”
“It’s okay. I like him. He really is like a brother to me.”
“I know and I’m sorry for what I said. I know he’s just as much your brother as he is mine even though you’re not really related.”
“I love you, Zack. And that makes your family my family too.”
He leaned in and softly kissed me.
“I love you too,” he said.
He kissed me again and that’s when his parents walked in. It’s was like we were seventeen again. But this time Zack’s parents weren’t too happy with him, or with me for that matter.