Shattering Crystals

"When dreams come true, you'll find your place... and your heart."

It's whispered, whispered over and over by the same beautiful voice, as soft and sweet as a rose petal. The words twist around my body, caressing it and changing me completely. And without seeing myself, I know that I am flawless. That I am the best of them all.

Perfect.

----

It was his smile that won me over.

Flawlessly white, straight teeth, framed by full lips. Every time he smiles, everything in my world feels right. So I spend my days searching for something amusing, something funny. Just so I can see that smile again.

I sit in room thirty – algebra class. I can’t make up my mind on this class. For it passes ever so slowly, and yet I never want it to end. He sits there at his desk, the seat directly in front of me. I can’t see his face, can’t see that smile. I catch myself looking up from my notebook and sneaking looks at him every once in a while, hoping that maybe he turned around. But all I see is that head of messy blond hair.

I resist the urge to scribble his name next to my linear equations. I always thought that was below me, that those girls who did that were just desperate and foolish. But now I understand. I give in and pen his name on the corner of the page in loopy script. No one will ever see, they will never know.

Jesse Benson.

I feel the need to write my name next to his, to see the way they look together. But that’s just too far – I can’t end up like those lovesick girls. So as the teacher walks up and down the rows, I turn to a new page to start the problems I should have gotten to ten minutes ago.

As soon as she walks past me and Jesse, he turns around. He points to his notebook, also blank. And then he smiles that beautiful smile. I can’t help but smile back, my heart pounding in my chest. I nervously twist the ends of my hair. But I shouldn’t be nervous anymore, I remind myself. We made it official this morning, in homeroom.

“Happy birthday,” he whispers.

----

At the end of the school day, I’m standing by my locker. I see my best friend, Leilani, as she sprints towards me from the other side of the hall.

“Happy birthday!” she shrieks, literally shoving the other students out of the way as she tries to reach me. It’s a wonder how such a small girl can be so… forceful. She throws her thin arms around me, and squeezes in a surprisingly strong embrace.

“Thanks,” I say. On any other day, I might scold her for making such a scene, but today is different. Today, I want people to look at me. For them to look and think, “wow, she looks so happy.” And for once, they’d be right.

“Party later, yeah?” she asks chirpily. Her gray eyes are bright with excitement.

“I wasn’t planning a party…” I say, raising an eyebrow (or trying to, anyways).

“Oh, uh… never mind, then?” She smiles brightly, hoping to distract me from her previous statement.

“Alright, what’s up?”

“Okay, Jesse’s been planning this party for you, okay? But shh! Or he’ll kill me! He was going to tell you about it when you got home, as a birthday surprise.”

“Fine, I won’t tell him.” I make a mental note to tell him that surprises aren’t my thing. “I should get going.”

“Yeah, okay, me too. Mr. Penis – I mean, Mr. Pena, has already threatened to give me three detentions. I just walked away from him, so I think I’m in trouble.”

“Again, Leilani? You just finished those detentions for pouring water on Sean’s head!”

“Sorry, it was just so tempting,” she says, sticking out her tongue. “Anyways, gotta go!”

I smile as I watch her walk away.

----

I stand in front of the mirror, making sure I look perfect.

Of course, I don’t. They say no one is perfect. But when I look at myself, all I see are… flaws.

I decide that I’m not exactly ugly, just plain. A little better than usual. No one would take a second glance at me, under normal circumstances. But Jesse did. And he’s not just anyone.

Sighing, I carefully rearrange my hair to cover a zit by my left temple. If only I was allowed to wear makeup. Then I would just cover this thing up with some concealer and be done with it. Instead, I have to keep pinning my hair as it repeatedly falls into my face and sticks to my strawberry lip gloss (at least I get to wear that).

I check the clock. An hour until the party. Funny how I’m always late for school, but never for parties. I know my mother would prefer it the other way around.

Jesse had called me the second I got home, telling me all about the party. I tried to make myself sound surprised, and I probably failed. I told him that I really didn’t like surprises, and he sounded a bit sad. But then I assured him that I really did appreciate it.

I brush my teeth about a million times, wishing my teeth were white instead of this ugly off-white color. I inwardly curse myself for not brushing better.

Raina.

At the sound of someone calling my name, I instantly answer with the toothbrush still in my mouth. “Yeah?” When there’s no answer, I open the bathroom door, expecting to see my mom standing outside. But no one’s there.

I finish brushing my teeth and then quickly run downstairs to the kitchen. I find my mom sitting at the table, writing in a notebook. “Yeah?”

“What?” she says, looking up.

“You called me,” I say.

“No I didn’t.”

“Oh… I thought you did. Never mind, then.”

I run back up the stairs, my bare feet making nearly no sound at all. I head into my room this time, making sure my dress looks okay.

There’s not much in my tiny bedroom, only the necessities. A huge arched window takes up nearly one side of the room, the only thing in my room that I adore.

I stand in front of the mirror, smoothing out my dark pink dress. I wonder if it’s too formal. And if I’m going to be too cold…

Raina.

I spin around wildly, searching for whoever is speaking. Though it should be creepy, it makes me more curious than anything.

“Who are you?” I ask, probably like an idiot.

Raina. I’m your mother. From a past life.