Shattering Crystals

Lights flash everywhere. Screams pierce the night air. The sickening smell of greasy food and vomit wafts over everyone.

Welcome to a carnival.

When we had told Ashlee about our adventures, she told us that we need to have some fun. And so, she brought us to this year-round carnival, treating us to a night. Apparently, her parents are quite rich.

"I'll buy some tickets and stuff," Ashlee says cheerfully. "You guys can go play games while I'm buying them." She hands us some money. It feels strange taking money from an almost-stranger, but I remind myself that she is one of us now. It also feels strange wasting money like this, but she said it was okay…

"Hey, I wanna play ring toss," Connor says excitedly.

"Those games are rip-offs," Lorraine says.

"Yeah, and you suck at it anyway," Cody snorts.

"So? Maybe today's my lucky day." He drags the group over to one of the stands.

"Three dollars," the man says, handing Connor five rings. Lorraine mutters something about saving money, thinking the same way I am.

To our surprise (especially Cody's), Connor tosses the rings and three out of five make their way onto a glass bottle.

"Looks like you won," the man says, a bit surprised. Connor smirks to himself, like he is laughing at his own inside joke. He reaches up and hands Connor a giant stuffed whale.

“What the hell is this?” Cody says in shock.

“It’s me being awesome, that’s what,” Connor says.

At this point, Ashlee comes back to us, holding sheets of tickets. "Forty each," she says, handing them out.

"Fuck yes,” Cody says. "I love rides."

"Well, I don't," Lorraine says, handing hers to him. "You can have mine if you like them so much."

"Yes!" he gives her a quick hug and runs off.

"Elise and Dean, I want to show you something," Ashlee says. And she drags them off. I'm left with Lorraine and Connor.

"So... what do you want to do?" I ask them.

"I think I'm gonna go get a drink or something," Lorraine says, walking off in the direction of the food stands.

"I wanna go see what Cody's doing," Connor says. "But... here. This is for you." He hands me the giant whale.

“Are you calling me a whale?”

“Uh, no…?”

“Don’t even lie.”

“Alright, you’re a whale. Happy?”

“…no.” I try hard not to smile.

“Whatever.” I watch as he walks away, still smirking about something. I guess that this is his way of apologizing. I follow Lorraine to the stands.

"Hey, Lorraine," I say. "Can you hold this for me?"

"I thought that was Connor's." She's standing in line for fresh lemonade.

"He gave it to me," I explain. "And I want to go on some rides too. I don't think they'll let me on with this thing."

"Sounds like someone likes you."

I shake my head, though blushing a little. "No, I don't think so. I think that's just his way of apologizing to us."

"Oh. Well, yeah, I'll hold it," she says, holding out her arms for it. I squeeze it gently before handing it to her. "You can go on rides and stuff. I'll just be here at the picnic tables, bored out of my mind."

"Thanks," I say, though I really should keep her company. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I wasn't caught up in all this magic stuff. Would Lorraine and I still be friends? I look at her standing patiently in line, holding my stuffed animal for me, and decide that we still would've have been great friends.

Then I run off to the rides.

----

"Almost time to go home," Ashlee says at around midnight. "Should we get Lorraine?"

The night had been filled with fun, and I didn't realize until now how much I needed it. It was healthier that way - teenagers are supposed to be carefree, not worrying about getting caught by the police or how to survive.

The night was amusing. Finding out that Dean and Ashlee are both afraid of heights, that Cody would go on any ride no matter how sketchy it looks, and - most importantly - that Connor screams like a little girl. It was filled with the laughter that we should have had in a normal life.

“Wait,” I say, dragging out the word and making it whiny. "I didn't get to go on the Ferris wheel yet." Everyone groans, far too tired for another ride. They all hand me their leftover tickets.

"I'll go with you," Cody says. Of course. He’s always up for anything.

"We'll be with Lorraine," Dean says. I walk over to the huge Ferris wheel and hand over my tickets. Cody and I climb in.

”This means I’ve been on everything here,” he says, and for the first time I notice that he’s always chewing gum, just like Lorraine. Except he always has mint. Ice rather than fire. “Why am I so awesome?”

“No one even knows,” I say to him.

It's a while before the ride actually starts moving for real, as other people are getting in also. When it starts going, the view is magnificent. Lights from the city are seen everywhere, along with the colors of the carnival itself.

"It's so pretty," I say.

"Truly is," Cody says. But he stares at me instead of the city.

"What?" I say. "Something on my face?" I rub my cheek, just in case.

"Nah, don't worry about it," he says as we begin descending. When we start going up again, he looks at me in the same way.

"Okay," I say, annoyed. "Are you sure there's nothing on my face?"

"Yeah, I said. Don't worry," he replies.

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"Oh, didn't realize..." he mutters, turning away.

"Just tell me what's up."

He turns to look at me. "I just... like you. A lot, okay?"

"You - you do?" I ask, astonished. My heart rate accelerates, and it's not because of the height we're at.

"Yeah, and I just wanna know if you like me too," he mumbles. "Do you?"

"I..." I want to say yes. What is there not to like about him? He’s funny. He knows how to take a joke. He cares about people, whether he shows it or not. Oh, and he’s pretty hot.

But somewhere in the very back of my head, a little voice reminds me it seems like Lorraine likes him. But mostly, I'm uncertain about her anyway. If she really likes him, she would have told me... right?

He starts to lean towards me, and I find myself doing the same, muffling the nagging voice in the back of my head. Everything flashes through my head as our faces move closer and closer.

Lorraine. Would she be mad? Dean. What will he say? Connor... Where am I with him? Cody. Who was he to me in the past? Thoughts endlessly pass through.

It all vanishes the second our lips make contact. No Lorraine. No Dean. No Connor. No wondering whether this is a good idea or not. It all disappears, leaving nothing.

Just magic.