Shattering Crystals

It's Christmas.

Well, we're not getting any presents this year. And we're definitely not feeling the holiday cheer. Not in this gloomy old house anyways, where the only thing we can do is either eat, sleep, or fuck each other (but that’s not really an option).

"Hey, Dana," Lorraine says. "I think we should go out to eat today. You know, since it's a holiday and all."

"I don't know," I say uncertainly. "Do you think we're safe?"

"Sure. I mean, we're all the way across the country. Do you really think they will track us down?"

"They could... you never know. Some of us aren’t that far from home."

"True, but we’ll disguise ourselves like we usually do.”

“What about money?”

“We have enough. It’s not like we’re going to the most expensive place in town. Just somewhere nice.”

“But – “

”I know you just don’t wanna get up off your lazy ass. What does everyone else think? Should we go?" she asks, addressing everyone in the room. They all nod and murmur their agreement. She turns back to me. “See?”

“Fine. I guess.”

“Hmm, Ashlee, can you help me? I’m gonna go look for somewhere to go in the phone book.”

“You do that,” I mutter, turning back to the map as they leave the room. It’s torn and weathered from everyone looking at it, even though we all know the next destination. I run my fingers over it, trying to plan ahead and find out what’s after California. But it doesn’t give me any answers – it seems to only work for one place at a time.

Suddenly all the talking in the room stops. I look up to see what has happened. Aaron is standing in the doorway, his cell phone in his hand. A look of shock and horror is plastered all over his face. Nobody speaks, unsure of what to say.

Finally, after a minute of silence, Elise decides to say something. "What's wrong?"

"It's - it's Lisa." He walks slowly, as if in a trance, into the baby's bedroom.

"Wait! What happened?" Elise gets up from her spot on the floor and runs after him. Dean frowns slightly and watches her leave.

"Let's go see what Lorraine's doing," Connor mutters. He drags Cody out of the room. I go back to staring blankly at my map.

The once-full room is now empty, and Dean and I are left alone. He comes over and sits on the couch next to me, in Lorraine's seat.

"She broke up with me last night," Dean says flatly.

"Huh? What? She did?" I tear my eyes away from the paper. I knew it was coming, but I still ask. "What happened?"

"I don't even really remember..." It’s clear that he doesn’t want to remember.

"You okay?" I ask, though I know the question won’t really help at all.

"I guess," he says, his voice emotionless.

"Doesn't sound like it."

"It's not that bad, is it? I'm sure I'll be fine," he says. He's talking to himself more than to me - trying to convince himself that it's true. "She isn't everything... right?"

"Yeah, that's true."

"I mean, wasn't it easy for you to break up with Cody?"

"...I guess. We weren't officially together. Like, he never really asked me to be his girlfriend or whatever. That made it easier," I lie. In reality, it was just easy because... we didn't work together. There was just something... off. Wrong. Since I broke up with him a month ago, I don’t regret it. Well, maybe a little. I still think he’s pretty hot.

At this point Ashlee comes back into the living room. "Where did everyone go?”

"In the first bedroom," I answer, assuming she’s looking for Aaron and Elise. "Something's up, but I don't know what."

"I can go find out," she offers.

"Okay." As soon as she leaves, Connor and Cody enter the room.

"I don't like her, okay?" Cody says.

"Well, she likes you, obviously..." Connor says.

"Well, she ignored us," he retorts, sitting back down on the floor. "And I don’t know. I still like..."

I pretend not to hear any of this, even though I know exactly what they’re talking about. I fold and unfold the map, waiting for Ashlee to return with the news. A few seconds later, she does.

"What happened?" Dean asks quickly. Ashlee has tears in her eyes. It reminds me of what we saw in the library, and I never did figure out why she was crying.

"Lisa - Aaron's ex-girlfriend - just committed suicide."

"Why?" I ask.

"Aaron broke up with her a week ago... she was so sad about it." Tears start to trickle down her cheeks. I don't see why. It's sad that it happened, but I didn't even know the girl, and neither did Ashlee. And it’s not like we can do anything about it. It’s been done.

I don’t get it. How someone could just give up their life for a little thing like that. Surely, things would get better in some ways. But I’m not Lisa, and I’ll never know.

"What's happening now?"

"Elise is just talking to him, I guess." Silence. Even Connor and Cody stop talking.

Lorraine walks back into the living room smiling, our money in her hands. Everyone stares at her - her holiday cheer is out of place here. "Where are Aaron and Elise? I found a place to go! Is everyone ready?"

Nobody answers.