Shattering Crystals

Lynda stands there quietly, her face blank and expressionless. She opens her mouth to answer me, but shuts it before she says anything. Then she takes a deep breath and nods.

"Sorry," I apologize again, hoping she doesn’t think badly of me. Saying the words doesn’t feel as hard as it did a year ago, to Leilani. Part of me doesn’t really mean it, for her request is pretty selfish and thoughtless, but…

In the same situation as her, I know how it would feel. Connor was here first, and we never promised anything to Wessley. I could make the decisions, and I could put myself first. Isn't that how it's supposed to be - putting your priorities first? Yet the feeling of guilt still washes through me.

"That's... fine. I guess," she says. "But Wessley knows. What are we supposed to do?"

"I really don't know," I tell her.

"Ask Marigold. She seems to know what she's doing, even if she isn't really here with us."

I nod and close my eyes to concentrate on the voice that fades further away every time I hear it.

You can't leave him here.

We already went over this, but the only other option is to take him. Just an unnecessary extra to keep hidden... And what will he do when we leave?

Take him with you, yes. After you depart for Crystallaria, anyone who is not going with you will lose all memory of you.

Everyone? Everyone would forget. Anyone who saw us, anyone who knew us, the people closest to us?

Like you never existed.

I feel my head moving up and down, nodding. It should be a shock to find this out, but I only feel numb, like I can’t grasp this fact. I never had extremely strong ties to people. Not enough to keep me home, but still… how can they just forget? I guess remembering isn’t an option.

Better not to tell Wessley... there's no telling how he could react.

Keeping secrets only makes things worse. I feel like he has a right to know... Though, in our case, secrets told could be the most dangerous thing.

Marigold’s voice fades away and is gone, leaving me alone once again in my own mind. I open my eyes to find everyone gazing at me intently, waiting for an answer.

"...and?" Lynda says, anxious to find out what would happen to her loved one. Her light green eyes are looking at me, but she doesn't seem to see me. Like she's looking right through me.

"He has to go with us," I say, announcing the truth.

"And when we leave?"

"He just goes back home," I lie quickly. "I mean, even if he tells our secrets, there's nothing anyone can do about it."

"He still shouldn't tell them," Lorraine says.

"True."

"What do you think, Wessley? Do you want to come with us?" Lynda asks, but then Lorraine glares at her. "Not that he has a choice, I mean."

"I'd want to go anyways," Wessley replies, looking into Lynda's eyes. The moment feels wrong, too romantic for all these people to be standing around here. Honestly, it makes me feel kind of sick. "I want to spend as much time with you as possible, Lynda."

I can hear Cody gagging in the back. Lorraine giggles at this and I wonder, in the back of my mind, what is happening between them.

"So we're done here?" I ask, brushing the irrelevant thought away.

"I guess so," Lynda sighs. "I'm sorry, though. I shouldn't have done it."

"It's okay," I tell her, even though it’s not. I really do understand her intentions, but it still doesn’t make it okay.

"Not really," Lorraine says under her breath, agreeing with my thoughts.

"What now?" Cody asks. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry," Lorraine says. "Let's go get something to eat, then."

Everyone files out of the room slowly until only Connor and I are left standing there. I'm surprised that I'm still holding his hand - not that it doesn't mean anything to me, just the fact that it feels so natural, like breathing.

"Thanks," he says, once the room is completely deserted. "For not leaving me behind, I mean."

"You know I couldn't do that," I tell him. "You were here first, anyways."

"And you just love me too much."

"Perhaps."

"I feel bad for Wessley though," Connor says. "I mean, I could have been in the situation that he's in right now."

"But you're not," I remind him, as we slowly follow the others into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I know. I'd miss you too much, anyways."

----

Lynda walks through the front door, a thick envelope in her hands. Everyone is sitting in the lobby, waiting for her.

"They're here," she announces, like it isn't obvious.

"I still wonder how you got them," Aaron says.

"I just know people," Lynda says. She opens the envelope and reaches inside. "I already saw them, and they look pretty good."

She drops the empty envelope onto a coffee table and hands the contents to me. I look through them. Fake IDs, passports, and everything we really need to slip under the radar.

"We're all eighteen," Lynda explains. "After those magic disguises and stuff, that's the best we can pass for, I think."

I check the names and give the documents to the correct person. The pictures do look like us, if you look closely. We'll just have to disguise ourselves in the same way, when we're going through security checks.

I look at my passport, the one that I really like. Diana Crystal, the passport says. Not my name, but at the same time it is. The picture looks like me, but it doesn't. My life is a paradox. Just the result of having two identities.

"Where to next, Dana?" Lynda asks.

"Hawaii," I respond, still looking flipping through my passport.

"We'll have to leave after I finish this school year..." Lynda says. "I'll say I'm going on vacation. No one will notice."

"Okay," I say simply.

I look up from my papers and at Lynda. She just watches everyone look through their things, either approving or disapproving. Mainly, though, she just looks at Wessley.

She had gone through all that for us - dangerous, illegal things. Where would we be without her, really? Certainly not in a comfortable house, safe for once.

And I had taken from her what she really wants. For a moment, I wish I could go back and give her what she wants. To be a selfless person and let her be happy instead.

But only for a moment.