What Can You Not Buy With Money?

“This is Vern Karlsson. Vern, this is Lucy Norton and Charles Walker,” I provided my introductions.

“Just Walker,” Walker gave me a serious but kind smile that tasted of warning. “Nice to meet you. You can put that,” He pointed at the small wrapped pumpkin pie in Vern’s hands, “On the counter.”

“You have a nice place,” Vern complimented as his eyes explored the area. “I love the… paint job.”

Lucy snickered. “What paint job?” She elbowed me in the side and looked at me with a look I couldn’t comprehend. I hoped it was excitement. She leaned over and whispered, “So this is the mysterious guy?”

I nodded and decided to let Lucy take the rest into her own hands. “Hey Walker, you need help with anything?” I went into the kitchen to see that Walker was swiftly dicing away at onions. My eyes started to sting and tear.

“Sure, can you stir the curry.”

“…Curry?” I asked as I opened the pot to look at the brown liquid bubbling away. The smell caused me to lurch backward and I felt squeamish.

“Sure, it’ll make you reek for days but it’s worth it. The spices are good for your hair,” Walker flipped his curly locks and stuck out his tongue. “You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to, but you’ll get no Thanksgiving kisses.”

“Not like I haven't already?” I bitterly started churning the dark brown goo.

“I don’t know… didn't we have a little 'sesssion' yesterday?” Walker started whistling and he proceeded to artfully spin his knife in a circle. “Have I ever showed you my greatest skill?”

“No,” I watched the knife in his hands. “Be careful.”

“So says the girl who followed a stranger onto a bus so trustingly,” Walker playfully took two more knives and proceeded to juggle them.

“I was desperate,” I defended.

“Was I complaining?” Walker stood on one foot. “Quick, blindfold me from behind!”

I laughed. “You sure?”

“Of course! I promise you that you will not be driving me to the ER tonight of knife-related injuries.”

I went behind him and covered his eyes. Though there was a light trace of sweat it felt nice to gently touch his soft skin. My lips were close to the back of his neck and I wanted to nip it, but I dared not risk him dropping the knives. My view wasn't blocked by his back. Bright gleams of metal dancing in circles filled me with a dangerous fascination.

“Hey,” Lucy popped her head into the kitchen and let out, “All right! Vern! Check Walker out!”

“What? Oh—my—goodness!” Vern covered his mouth to cover a grin of astonishment.

“Thank you, thank you, I’m sure you’re all a lovely audience—it’s too bad I must remain blind so you all can admire my skill!” He quickly caught them all midair and pulled free from my hands and took a sharp bow at Lucy and Vern. “Oh, and don’t forget my lovely assistant, for which I owe my loss of sight for!”

Lucy clapped happily and Vern folded his arms with a smile.

Silly as it was, it was utter happiness that rushed into my body and I couldn’t believe how wonderful that Thanksgiving was.

“Dinner is served.” Walker did a bow that reminded me of the waiters in France. My mind wandered to Burgess and I wondered what he was doing that day. And then I realized the horrible possibility that he was alone. As everyone laughed and sat themselves at the table, I covered my mouth in disbelief at how ignorant I was at the coolness in Burgess when I asked for the day off.

“Mary, get your derriere over here!” Lucy called out. I entered the dining room to see that Lucy had Vern under her shoulders and he looked pleasant with his cheeks red and his grin glowing. Walker was bopping his head at a mental tune and proceeded to serve food. Someone had turned on the stereo and a typical rock tune was soft enough to be heard but not to overwhelm the atmosphere.

After dinner, Lucy and Vern began making out on the couch while Walker and I cleared the table. I made a silly face at Walker after seeing them in their lusty state but my mood negated again when I saw the bland expression on Walker’s face.

“Hey,” I rubbed his shoulder as he and I began cleaning the dishes. “Thanks for doing so much.”

He shrugged. “It’s all part of the fun.” He stopped running the dishes with water and looked at me.

I licked my lips and leaned over to kiss him. At first he seemed to hesitate but then he wrapped his arms around my body and I could feel every inch of him tensing then relaxing against me. His skin was warm and there was a lingering taste from the food in his mouth that would normally be disgusting but with him it was completely acceptable. I playfully bit his lower lip but he pulled away and looked down.

“What’s wrong?” I asked and urged him to look me in the eye. I tried to put my hand on his shoulder but he quickly brushed it off.

“Sorry,” Walker cleared his throat and a sour look of guilt was on his face. “This is going to be the most horrible thing I’m going to do to you but… I don’t think we should try this anymore.”

I blinked in surprise and I felt a stinging pain in my throat that made it hard to breathe.

“All right,” I nodded but it was my turn to avoid his gaze. “It’s not like we did anything serious… or even did anything at all... but—could you tell me why?”

Walker leaned back. “I guess I owe you that much… I—” Walker cleared his throat and looked at the kitchen door and whispered, “I know this was horrible—what I was doing to you. I was using you.” Shame was apparent on his face. “I’m so sorry, I don’t deserve forgiveness. You see I,” he looked at the door, “I still have feelings for… her. I thought that—if I just tried to forget everything would be okay. But you couldn’t help me with that. So I thought that… if I could get her jealous maybe she’d consider changing her mind.”

“Why…” I couldn’t believe him. “I liked you. A lot.”

“I know, and it was wrong of me to treat you this way. God,” Walker wiped at his brow and let out a sigh. “But just—seeing them,” he clenched his jaw and his hands were fists as he pressed one against his temple. “And it made me realize that it all backfired. And it’s hurting me a lot and I’ve realized that it’s just wrong what I’m doing. To everyone—you especially. You don’t deserve me. I don’t deserve to have friends. I’m the biggest asshole.” His eyes crinkled in shame and distress as he looked as though he was shrinking in self loathing in front of me. Needing to escape, Walker quickly walked out of the kitchen and fled the condo.

I quickly followed, passing by an oblivious Lucy and Vern and left.

“Walker!” I called out but he had disappeared. As I tried to chase after him I realized that my cheeks were sticky and moist from my tears that were falling down my face. I sniffed and heard a sob escape my own lips as I pressed against the hallway door. There was no one out of their homes like I was. There was no one else as tragic as I was.

I left the building, unsure of where to go on a Thanksgiving night alone. Instead, I walked off in uncertainty to think and clear my head. I couldn’t understand the misery I was facing. Was it all because of being used? Did I even like Walker that way? We hardly shared any romance together and we only knew each other for less than three months.

But I was still felt defeated and used. Like I was just a tool.

There wasn’t a single person around and it almost felt like a ghost town. I was the last person on Earth.

It was the increasing roar of an engine that broke me free from my wallowing and I saw a sparkling blue sports car that looked so sleek and so expensive that I knew it was going to be a certain someone I worked for.

It slowed down and stopped a few feet from me with a grace as the engine barely hummed. Tinted windows rolled down and I saw Benjamin Burgess leaning to look at me through the passenger side.

“What are you doing out here alone?” He asked.

There was an embarrassment at being caught of all people in my most vulnerable. My pride got in the way. “I just needed some fresh air. What about you? That’s a nice car.” I put my hands in my pockets and ran my eyes almost covetously over the vehicle.

“I know,” Burgess opened his mouth in preparation of a boastful comment but instead he said, “Get in.”

Instead of resisting, I let shyly tried to find a door handle.

He leaned over to open it and it swung up… above my head!

“Woah!” I stared up and hesitantly looked back at my boss.

“Are you just going to stand there like a deer in the headlights or are you going to hop in?” There was amusement in his voice and a little smile tucking at his corners. "I'll take you somewhere nice."

I quickly took a seat and he went to close the door, his arm just barely touching my face. He was wearing a cashmere sweater that felt soft and light when it brushed against my nose.

He sat back in his seat. “You’d best buckle up.”

“Sure,” I was beginning to shake from the excitement.

He had pressed down on the gas and we were going at a sudden speed that threw my head back against the backrest and I glanced at the speedometer to see we were already going over 60 mph. I covered my mouth and let out a soft scream as the engine yelled as we continued to go fast.

I cast my eyes to see Burgess as he maneuvered through the empty streets and a thought past through me about Walker. The thrill of the car ride was dissipating and I quietly looked out the window.

“Where do you want to go?”

“What?” I looked at him startled.

“There’s this park nearby that overlooks the city. It looks amazing after sunset,” he kept his eyes on the road.

“If it’s no trouble…”

“No trouble at all. I spend days like these driving around. Everyone stays at home and it’s like I have the world to myself.”

“Oh.” Though the arrogant tone was thick in his words I felt saddened at the loneliness of it all.

When we arrived at the dirt road I left the car to see everything swallowed in a dark blue evening. Burgess followed, and I could feel his eyes on me.

“Why were you out alone?”

“I just ended up outside,” I looked at him trying to hide the truth from him. “What about you? What are you doing driving around by yourself?”

Burgess took a step toward the edge of a cliff where guard rails protected visitors from plummeting down the jagged abyss. “It’s not that I don’t have anyone to spend it with. It’s just that I choose not to.”

I stepped next to him and silently followed his gaze at the lights of the city.

“What about your parents?” I decided never to mention my knowing his father to him. “Or friends?”

“My mother died in labor. Cardiac arrest. Her body just couldn't take the stress of childbirth.” Burges leaned against the rails and stared out at the never ending skyline. Twinkling city lights were like stars in the black. “And my father… let’s just say I we wouldn’t be able to stand a second with each other. And I’ve never met another decent person with half a brain worth spending my time around. Except maybe for you,” he smirked. “But it’s obvious you have the hots for me. And hate me at the same time.”

My face was burning up and I snapped, “That’s not true!” And I felt flattered at the compliment. But being the cynic that I was in the mood to be, I told myself it was his charismatic skills—he only spoke lies! I remembered the tabloids talking of the womanizer.

“Now that I’ve practically ripped myself out for you to admire, will you tell me what happened now?”

“It’s nothing,” I shook my head and a strong breeze blew my hair into my face. “You wouldn’t be interested.”

Burgess brushed strands of hair from my mouth. “You’ve become my interest.”

My heart started racing and I was frozen where I stood.

“You’re like my right arm—I’ll be crippled without you. You’re a great deal of help to me,” Burgess added, “I can’t afford to get myself a new assistant.”

“You’re just like Madame Slater, you jerk!” I pushed him and took a step back and my eyes started glossing over with more shameful tears.

“Are you surprised?” Burgess raised an eyebrow and he put his hands on my shoulder. The height difference between us was so immense that my neck hurt looking up at him. He let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around me. “You’re trying to act stone cold but inside you’re shattering. You don’t have to prove that you can hold it in like I do.”

He was so self centered that I let out a snort as I buried my face in his chest but I had a small smile on my face. He smelled faintly of soap and cologne and I could feel the muscles of his stomach through his clothes.

“I was dumped,” I finally answered. “Turns out I was just a rebound.”

Burgess shook his head in disappointment. “Is that all?”

“Yes,” I nodded and I felt a surge of anger pass through me. “Why? Not sad enough?”

“Yes. I think you’re lying. That’s a stupid reason to feel miserable,” he retaliated with a cold stare.

“I know I’m a stupid girl, you made that clear in the speech last year,” my voice was raised. “How did the charity deal go?”

He looked at me puzzled and then he broke in a scoff. “This isn’t about that assembly at some high school. It’s about you feeling sad about some loser guy that left you.”

“You just told me not to hold in my emotions.”

“Because I expected it to be worse. Instead you’re sulking outside on your own in the late afternoon just because of a break up? That's more of wearing your emotions on your sleeves for everyone to see.”

I bit my lip and let out a frustrated cry and tried to walk away.

A hand closed over my wrist and I stopped to look back at him. “Tell me about your family.”

“Why?” I tried to pull my arm free but he tightened his grip.

“Because all I hear from you is a giant line of bullshit. You’re hiding your real problems by making it look like you’ve only got these insignificant issues. Where’s your mother? And father? What are your real curses?”

I started shivering and I couldn’t look at his imploring eyes. I couldn’t understand how he could think that I would lie. I was truly miserable about Walker. Not of my mother. Or my father.

“I told you about my life, and you still want to keep yours a secret. I hate it when people hide things from me,” Burgess continued. “Is your mother even alive?”

“Yeah, she’s alive,” I quickly spoke. “She’s doing great on her own, and she keeps drinking and drinking and hopes that she’ll one day just drown from it! The only part of me she cared about was when I could lend her some money when things were tight. And my father!” My lips were trembling and I felt as though I was about to throw up—that I was, in a way, vomiting all the anguish all at once. “He was put in jail when I was three on domestic abuse and attempted murder. I never knew him, but she always talked about him and how I look just like him and no one would want to sleep over or play when I was a kid because she would scare them off—“ I let out a quick rush of breath and I started crying. Remembering my words, I knew I didn't make any sense. But unlike the small tears I shed earlier these were painful to let escape my eyes and I was clutching my stomach for air as I struggled to remain standing.

Burgess gave me another hug and let me lean against him. After minutes of this, I finally pulled away and wiped at my eyes. I felt such humiliation that I wanted to painfully die at that moment.

“There,” Burgess leaned over and kissed the top of my head. “That sounds like the truth.”

I felt buzzed and almost high as I hiccupped lightly. Exhaustion was stroking my brain but I felt almost better, as though crying had poured out the misery.

“Come on, we’ll spend the rest of the night at my place.”

The first thought in my head was that he was planning something carnal. I gave him a stare and he looked at me in amusement. “Trust me, I’m through with messing around with my employees. Think of it as work.”

“Work. Sure, Mr. Burgess,” I bit my lip and I tried to smile. “Would you like some coffee?”

Burgess and I headed to his car. “Luwak. Extra cream and triple the usual dose of sugar.”

“But you take zero spoonfuls of sugar.”

“See, you’re not stupid,” Burgess opened the car door. “When I was speaking to my employee at your school, I was thinking about people like Lila Maddock after that lecture. She had been texting on her phone while winking at me in the front row.”

“Uh huh.” I didn’t believe him but at the same time he managed to make me feel better.

"So tell me... how did you know what I said that day?" Burgess smirked knowingly as he took me away.