What Can You Not Buy With Money?

It was a horrible experience.

First, the security guard walked me to an enclosed room with his heavily calloused hand over the back of my neck the entire time. I felt small enough to reach his elbows. Then, I sat there for thirty minutes as they searched through the plastic grocery bags and my wallet.

A steely, wrinkled woman had me remove my clothes as they provided me with some grey sweats. I didn’t know how to feel. I was frustrated, humiliated, and angry. More and more, I hated the Burgess Company, and started thinking of sick fantasies. I wanted to push Mr. Braggadocio off the building, and then open his office for a petting zoo. I thought of opening a little carnival for some of the kids back in the Mira Mesan neighborhood.

“You’re free to go,” the woman handed me a brown paper bag filled with my belongings. Everything was neatly folded and piled delicately.

I had to quickly change and escape. Within ten minutes, I was safe back in my own clothing, and briskly walking out the front doors. I planned to head to my new home, lie on the soft carpet, and read the classifieds in the Union-Tribune, and push today’s horror into the mental locker of bad memories.

But a sight caught my eye that told me my freedom would have to wait.

Lila sat on a bench, her shiny hair curtaining over her face as she looked at her knees. From afar, I could barely make out the thin trickling tear slipping down her cheek.

“Oh no,” I muttered as I ran up to her. “Lila, what happened?”

Her shoulders were fidgeting, and she looked up at me. “He didn’t want me,” she choked out. “He called me a twat. He told me to try getting a brain transplant along with my next liposuction.” She wrapped her arms around herself.

"Forget him, he's a jerk.” More anger sprung across my body as though I had been drenched in gasoline and a match was just lit. But I had to quickly kill the flames before I did something I would regret. “Come on, I’ll treat you to lunch.”

I was about to take a step back, but she dug her nails into the sleeve of my blouse. “Please,” she looked at me tearfully. “Could you talk to him? You’re smart. Tell him to give me a chance.”

“He’s worthless,” I scoffed, trying to convince her. “He’s just a lonely sociopath who’s going to die with warts growing on his eyes.”

“Don’t say that!” Lila cried, her voice peaked into a shrill scream. I had hoped that the visual on the warts would make her laugh. I never knew Lila to like a guy that much. “Please,” her voice softened, “Get him to change his mind.”

“You can’t act this way if you don’t get a job.”

“He called me ugly.” Lila wasn’t paying attention to me any longer. It was as though she was losing touch to reality. She touched her cheek. “Am I still ugly? Even though…”

I was a push over and I had a sense of duty to defend her, even if she wasn't a perfect friend. I turned on my heel and walked back into the lobby. I half expected the front guards to block the door, but they stood as still as statues. I approached Vern, adrenaline wrapping its strings around my body. Many ideas streaked across my vision as I tried to think of a way to speak to Burgess face to face.

“Oh dear God, here we go,” Vern sighed as he saw me approach him. I clenched my fists as I reached him.

“I’d like to speak to your boss,” I whispered as curtly as I could. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I would give that rich brat a cake iced with poison and insults. I wouldn’t beg the cocky dweeb for anything. I wanted to get in a brawl with this jerk. I would yell at him, regardless of how childish and moronic it was. I felt I had the right to do that at least, especially after that experience in the security office. I could regret later on.

“I’m sorry, but you don’t have an appointment, and Mr. Burgess is a very busy man.”

“Oh, I’m sure, wasting his time coming up with insults as weak as the coffee here,” I put my hands on the desk and leaned down and murmured, “Which by the way, sucks.”

Vern stared at me in surprise and half-humor. “I’m calling security.”

“Why don’t you call Braggadocio too? Or is Mr. Hotshot too much of a pussy to take me on.”

“Please calm down, miss. You don’t understand,” Vern gave me an amused smile. “I would send you up, but I can’t afford to lose this job. And there’s security everywhere. They wouldn’t hesitate to kill you if they believed you would hurt Mr. Burgess.”

The elevators’ ping had me quickly turning my head. Coming out of the elevator was tall, slender, and handsome Benjamin Burgess in the flesh. It felt as though I saw him from a distant dream, though this time it was in a nightmare. He had a briefcase in hand, a high tech cell phone in the other as he walked toward Vern and me.

“Wait!” Vern called after me as I lightly stalked up toward him.

“…we need to change the Ruse-Berra Account. Drop them, and we’ll switch on toward Reagan. Just tell them no. What are the updates for our contract with Slater Enterprises?” He stopped as his powerful blue eyes narrowed at my approach. “I’ll call you back. Have to deal with another nutjob with a hissy fit.” He hung up and placed the phone in a tailored pocket.

I had to be curt. “Please apologize to my friend,” I ground my teeth to the point of pain.

“I don’t need to apologize to anyone. Excuse me,” Burgess was about to brush past me.

“No, excuse me.” I quickly took a step back and continued blocking his way. I could hear heavy footsteps approaching me, which I assumed were the big boys. “Don’t you have any respect? You go and make a girl cry…” My lashes of hate were weakening. He was staring at me blankly, unphased by my words. He was an intellect, I could see it clearly.

"Quit your preaching and get out of my way."

"You need to look in a mirror, because you're the one who's ugly. Oh, and the latest video game your company put out--the plot was already done." It was dangerous to tell him this in his domain, but I felt a sick rush of accomplishment at making a personal attack on him. I liked to say I was out for the defense of Lila, but instead it was more out of the exciting hatred I had to this man. Heavy hands grabbed my shoulder, and my wrists were held to my back. The coppers had arrived.

And then I realized how much of an idiot I was being. My heart started skipping at the fear of being arrested.

“Shall we report her to the police, sir?” A gruff guard asked behind me. Their grip was painful on my arms. I winced as he squeezed tighter.

I watched Burgess smirk at me. “No, I’d like to speak to her privately.”

Terror typhooned into me. I was proud to be a coward, for I didn’t want to be left alone with this person. Even though I had insulted him in his territory, there had been plenty of people around for me to feel confident and secure.

The guards released me, and I swallowed as he turned to the elevator. “After you,” he sarcastically nodded at me.

I couldn’t run. I was too proud to flee from a battle I started. I would fight with dignity. If he struck me, I would scream. If he had any evil plans, I would keep my morale and good would triumph. Justice was a divine treatment that would protect me.

Burgess and I stood shoulder to shoulder. He was at least a foot taller than I was. He loomed over me like a crane compared to an ant.

He pressed the up button, and the elevator pinged as the doors slid open. He waited for me to go first.

I felt my skin tinge and the blood rushed out of my face. Our shoulders almost touched, and I watched as the doors slowly closed us off from the world.

“The reason I dismissed your friend was due to her sudden advances on me,” Burgess softly broke the silence as we ascended up the floors.

“How?” I forced my tone to be strong and mighty.

“She started unbuttoning her shirt.” I could hear him sneer, but I refused to turn my head to face him. “I dislike people who waste my time. Any worker of mine needs plenty of references and recommendations. She had none. I asked of her skills, and she made enough sexual references to make her life sound like a pornographic video. From the way she behaved, she is emotionally dysfunctional. I won’t hire her.”

“I didn’t ask for you to hire her,” I was getting agitated. “I want you to tell her you’re sorry for those personal attacks. They were uncalled for.”

“I won’t say something I don’t honestly feel.” Burgess pulled up his left sleeve to reveal an extravagant Rolex. He checked the time, then looked at me. “We better make this quick. What’s your name?”

All the intensity that fear had drowned me in began to evaporate. “Why do you need to know?”

“I’m offering you a job.”

“W-what makes you think I need one?” I snapped, worry and disgust returned.

“Ms. Maddock gave a colorful biography about you when I asked about who was the young lady who accompanied her into the building.” We finally reached the top floor. Once the doors slid open, Burgess left the elevator first and continued, “And frankly, I’ve had enough of all the people who’ve applied. No one seems to take this seriously, and I cannot afford distractions.”

“How am I not a distraction?” I folded my arms, clutching my plastic bag tighter.

“You’re bold, but you’re not stupid. You’re not old enough to have an inferiority complex towards me and you can’t possibly seduce me like your friend.” He walked past a vacant desk that looked slightly dusty and unused. Next to the desk was a heavy wooden door, which he held open for me.

“That makes me eager to work for you,” I sarcastically spat. He was becoming more and more of a bastard.

Past that door was his office. It wasn’t as extravagant as the lobby, but it held an aura of higher class within it. An entire wall consisted of tinted windows that overlooked the city. A large desk with a black leather office recliner was resting with its back to the window. Two couches rested perpendicular to the workspace, parallel from each other with a small table separating them.

“Have a seat.” Burgess waved his hand to a sofa as he sat down on the other. “I have about ten minutes before I’m needed in a foreign affairs meeting with Slater Enterprise.”

I carefully sat down onto the cushion, which began swallowing me. I was far from comfortable.

“I pay well.” Burgess placed his elbow on the armrest. “Far more than your average secretary, not to mention for a kid with only a high school degree. I assume you have atleast a Standard. So are you going to cooperate and tell me your name?”

“Mary.” I stubbornly cracked.

“Nice to meet you, Mary.” Burgess held out his right hand for me to shake. I took it with as much enthusiasm as an armless man. His hand was surprisingly smooth and warm. He was only a few feet from me, his features well molded and defined.

I refused to become attracted to him. I pushed all those lustful thoughts back into the corner of humiliating tendencies. I had to remind myself of what he said back in high school. “They all looked like a group of lazy kids that didn’t give a damn what I had to say...”

“I couldn’t take a job my friend wanted.” I felt a smug rush of satisfaction go through me as I ‘stood up’ for Lila. But truthfully, I just didn’t want to work for this pig. Even if he was as gorgeous as a movie star on the outside, nothing would make me get along with him--especially as a boss.

Burgess’s eyes flashed. “You have a strange view on friendship. She doesn’t seem like you.”

His remark was like a stab to my neck, but it was true. “Now you’re wasting my time.” I pressed my fingers against each other, stressed.

“Think of it as compensation.” Burgess opened his brief case and took out a digital voice recorder, which he placed on the coffee table in between us. He leaned forward toward me, staring me down. “And now, it’s a job interview. What is your full name?”

“Mary Susan Hall.” I kept my eyes onto his electric blue ones. It was very hard to keep my gaze still.

“When were you born?”

“September 18, 1992.”

“So you’ve recently finished high school? Which one?”

I scowled. “Mira Mesa High School. You should remember it.”

Burgess blinked, then his lips curved into a sneer. “You’re one of those seniors I made that speech to?”

“Yes,” I froze. I couldn’t tell him I had snuck behind the bleachers and overheard what he said. Not that I cared for what he thought, but still, I cared.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I quickly kept my mouth shut.

“I assume you were one of the few who listened?”

“I heard what you said,” I muttered, as my mind thought, ‘Doubt you meant it.’

“Do you have any previous work experience?” He dismissed my bitterness.

“Yes, I worked at Starbucks for two years and volunteered at the hospital for one.”

Burgess went back into his brief case and took out a notepad and pen. “Please give me the name of your supervisors, their number, and what you specifically did during your employment. Be sure to give me your current address and your phone number.”As I began making the list, he paused for a few seconds before continuing. “Would you be willing for me to do a background check?”

“Go for it.”

“Then consider yourself hired for now. What would you need your minimum annual salary be?”

“Uh…” My head was buzzing as I was trying to register this. “I… don’t know… $40,000 a year?” I was hoping the obscene number would free me from the predicament.

Burgess paused, slowly. “My previous assistant’s starting annual salary was $110,000. If you get paid so little for a job this stress induced you may quit. So I’ll start you off with a solid $100,000 and we’ll see how you deserve any raises.”

I dropped the pen and watched it clatter onto the floor. I clumsily leaned forward to retrieve it, my face on fire in embarrassment as my body began to buzz at the dubious price.

“That’s…” I didn’t want to say anything that would risk changing his mind, though. “…why?”

“We’re running out of time.” Burgess stood up and he collected everything. He turned off his voice recorder and placed it back inside his briefcase. “I better not regret this, or I’ll be sure to have any possible employers in the future know of every poor detail of your time here. Now if you’ll sign this,” He pulled out a thick bound stack of papers, “we can finish.”

“What is this?” The print was small and there was hardly any white of the paper left.

“An agreement about your duties during employment. You have to allow me to give you a background check and you’re bound legally to keep certain matters of Burgess Incorporated to only specific people in the company. There’s also the matter of understanding the duties you are expected to perform.”

I signed it without fully reading it, shrugging the slight worry in the back of my head. But I decided to take the job. It was a necessity. In a way, his horrible personality would save me. It would constantly remind me of the jerk he was. I would keep my focus on the job and nothing else. I wouldn’t be blinded by my attraction to him.

“You’ll work Monday through Friday, though I’ll expect you to be on call at all times. That means if I call you at two in the morning to prepare a business deal, you’ll arrive at work as quickly as possible. I expect you to start tomorrow. Be here by four AM sharp. If you’re late, I’ll dock your pay. I’ll provide you with an employer’s I.D. and your equipment when you arrive. Dress appropriately. I do not approve of denim of any kind. No headwear. Your shift will end by five PM. Do you understand?”

“Yes, but—“

“You will address me as Mr. Burgess and sir. Fail to do so, and you’ll be dismissed.” Burgess’ voice was suddenly colder and exploding in malice.

“Yes, Mr. Burgess sir.” I quickly muttered, feeling like a meek sheep.

Our ride back down the elevator was awkward and quiet. I stood staring as the numbers above the buttons slowly sank one by one until it finished on 1F.

Burgess and I both left the building. I passed by Vern without looking at him, though I could feel his eyes staring at me. The moment I took a step out, I was greeted by the smell of the city. The scent of freshly trimmed hedges, car exhaust, and a barbeque wafted into my face.

I looked around to find that Lila was nowhere to be found. I didn’t have her cell phone number, nor did I know where she lived. I hoped that I wouldn’t see her anytime soon but my gut told me differently.

I watched as Burgess entered the back of a black limousine and left the premises.

Trying to figure out the most affordable way to head home, I could barely make out the blue bus stop sign a block down the street.

It took a while to figure out the bus routes, but eventually I made it to the condominium complex. The bus stop was closest to the auto repair, which I decided to pass by. I couldn’t disturb Lucy at work, but I wanted to give her a thumb up about my new job. Life was already looking up for me (though in a strange way) and I wanted to celebrate. The garage doors were open, and when I looked inside I saw Lucy with her back toward me as she was working under the hood of a car. She was surrounded by older men who passed by. They said something and Lucy turned and laughed at them. She didn’t see me.

I took out my cell phone and decided to quickly call my part time job to quit. The manager there was new, and so I didn’t raise any concerns when I said my goodbye and thanks.

I decided to be a little adventurous and try some lunch at the Neo Sushi Club. I wanted to find a way to thank both Walker and Lucy for helping me out. I was too much of a chicken to bother Lucy at work, so I decided to ask Walker while ordering something.

“Mary!” Walker waved at me. “Did you get yourself a job?

“Yeah.”

“Well sit right here, make an order, and tell me about it,” Walker had a wide grin as he pointed to a one of the bar stools in front of him. I took a seat and he handed me a small piece of paper and pencil.

There were so many varieties, with a price following each one. They even had a summary of what each choice contained.

“What do you recommend?” I was unsure and pressed my tongue to my cheek as the black letters became jumbles in my vision.

“Since you’re a sushi virgin, I suggest the good ol’ California Roll, neo style. It’s what most people like when they first try our menu.”

“All right then, just one order for now.” I slid the paper to the side as I unrolled my napkin and out came disposable chopsticks. I broke them apart and tried to hold them following the instructions. I struggled to open and close them.

“You don’t know how to use them?” Walker asked as he took out some dried seaweed and rice. His expression was amusement and surprise.

“I never needed to,” I studied the two sticks and tried to get a grip on them. I ended up losing my grip and they plopped onto the counter.

“Here,” Walker turned around to the table behind him and grabbed a pair of chopsticks, a rubber band, and an index card.

I watched as he folded and rolled the index card, placed it between the two chopsticks and tied it securely with a rubber band.

“Here you go, starter chopsticks.” He handed the device to me.

I held it, and squeezed them together. He had turned them into a small pair of wooden tongs. “Thanks,” I couldn’t help but smile.

Walker’s voice was filled with laughter, “We usually make them for kids.”

“Well now I feel like half my age,” I kept snapping them together. “This is clever.”

“It’s no secret; it’s not so original of us to use it. But we can’t always think of ideas first.” Walker started rolling a pink substance into the rice and seaweed.

“It seems very nice here. I bet you have a fun time,” I looked around at the beautiful decorations. There were handmade paper lanterns that had paint splatter upon them. A large aquarium with bright salt water fish was filled with red water. I thought it was fruit punch until I saw the blue and yellow guppies frolicking about. It was as though an eighties rave married a Japanese bar and gave birth in the building.

“You should see it Friday nights. That’s when we have Open Mic Night, and that’s when you want a video camera in your hands. Here you go,” Walker handed me six cylinders upon a rectangular plate. I courageously took a bite. The taste wasn’t what I expected, and it wasn’t an orgasm for my tongue, but it already started to grow on me. I chewed it carefully and swallowed. It had a spongey texture to it. “So, what do you think?”

“I like it,” I nodded as I took another bite.

“Try our caramel soy sauce,” Walker was very pleased. “Oh, and our avocado paste. Wasabi’s for the weak.”

“Oh,” I quickly interjected before he said anything else. I had to pause to swallow my last bite so I wouldn’t disgust him. “Thank you so much for what you’ve done. I owe you a lot.”

“Say no more, I should thank you.” Walker started cleaning his workplace with a fresh towel he pulled from under the counter. “In a way, I used you. Lucy wanted a female roommate, and you’ve done enough to lighten the load off her.” He looked at me sadly. “Sorry.”

I blinked at him, digesting his words and his sushi. “No, no need to say sorry. You helped me out along with Lucy.”

Walker smiled at me, though he continued his sad stare. “I know this is going to sound kindergarten, but are we friends?”

“Of course we are,” I was surprised at his blunt question. But I felt grateful to him for meeting me. I never succeeded in companionship. Most of the people I spoke to were like Lila or worse. They didn’t care for me, even though I tried to show compassion and stomach it. It felt good to have someone return some kindness.

“Thanks, it means a lot.” Walker quietly whispered. He cleared his throat. “So… what’s your new calling? Wait,” He stopped me as I opened my mouth to tell him. “Don’t tell me. Let me guess. Day Care assistant.”

I giggled at the idea. I had no idea how to deal with kids. “What makes you think that?”

“You’re not a heartless woman. You take responsibility well. I can see you as the nurturing type.”

“Sorry, no.” I kept smiling. “Guess again.”

“I’m sure you’re an assistant…” Walker looked intently into my eyes as he immersed himself in thought. “Something respectable. Pays well. You work in a hospital?”

“No, but you were getting warmer.” I took another piece and chewed it slowly.

“A secretary?” He shrugged in surrender.

I gave him a thumbs up, quickly swallowed, “Bingo.”

“No way! You’re going to organize some chick’s social calendar?”

“It’s a guy, and I have no idea. I start tomorrow.”

“Who?” Walker asked as he started sharpening knives.

“Ben Burgess.”

Walker froze where he stood. “Bitchy Ben?”

“I called him ugly,” I sighed while smiling at him as his nose twitched in confused laughter. “Ever meet him?”

“Yeah. He’s some rich king of a software business who just happened to have enough good looking genes to have chicks hang pictures of him up on their wall. I met him when I was ten.”

I scoffed in disbelief. “Woah, what was he like?”

“A stuck up rose with thorns dripping from his mouth. I called him Bitchy Ben and he dubbed me Wheezy Walker and other things.”

“Why?”

Walker quickly looked down and continued to fiddle with the knives. “Oh, no reason. I did get back at him though and put my lollipop in his hair. He didn’t notice for the rest of the day.”

“Yikes, makes you wonder how cruel we were as kids.” My throat was getting dry. “May I have a glass of water, please?”

“Sure,” Walker went in the back which I assumed was a kitchen. He came out with a pitcher of ice and a tall empty glass. As he poured me a cup, he continued, “Just be sure to not piss him off. He may be a bastard, but I bet his salary convinced you to take his offer.”

“Yeah,” I nodded and accepted the glass. After a sip I asked, “So what’re your plans tonight?”

“Well,” Walker looked at a clock hanging over the door that was almost at 5:00 PM, “In an hour, my shift will be over. I’ll be getting ready for Idol, then waiting for Lucy to come over so we can watch.” He quickly added, “You’re invited too, obviously. It’s just a tradition we have during the Fall season.”

“You mean American Idol?”

“Yeah, watch it with us. During commercial breaks we play a good game of Risk.”

“Sure,” I felt excited to be invited for something. Though I wasn’t sure about Lucy, I felt that Walker was accepting me entirely. Happiness and thrill were pounding in my heart.