What Can You Not Buy With Money?

I didn’t have many winter clothes, so I stared at my dresser drawers in a frustrated fit as I tried to find something suitable for the cold weather. Burgess had a vacation home near the Pacific Ocean, which he had bought recently.

At first, I tried to object to the idea. I didn’t want to get a free trip out of it, and I was starting to worry that I was distracting Ben from his company. But he merely whispered in his seductive voice, “We’ll be all alone. I want us to spend some personal time together,” and that was enough for me to head straight to the condo and start packing.

“So, Alaska, eh?” Lucy’s Hispanic accent dissolved as she imitated an Anchorage Dialect, sounding a bit like Sarah Palin. “Walker wants you to bring him as much salmon as possible.”

I laughed. “I’ll catch him the biggest fish of the sea.”

“But just remember,” Lucy walked up to me with a stretched grin of deviance. “A romantic week… with just the two of you… alone. Make sure you have protection.”

I fell over, literally, onto my bed as I tried to find the right reaction. I was at a loss in between laughter and shrieking. But then I realized that this was probably going to be the last few hours I was a virgin. I didn't know what to think of it. It wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't horrible.

“Hey,” Lucy put her arm around me as I sat on the bed with that brooding frown. “If you’re not ready you’re not ready. If he’s held out this long for you then he’s probably able to wait longer.” After she paused to think of more words to add for support she continued, “I’m always a phone call away. He tries anything that you don’t feel comfortable, I’ll be right over with a shovel and a bag of lime for the body. Okay?”

I nodded, not feeling any better, but forced a smile. “Thanks, but I got it.” Her overprotective nature was cute, but didn’t help to reassure my insecure thoughts.

Sex isn’t something that can be taken lightly, especially not when you’ve never done it before. My mind was obsessed with trying to convince myself it wasn't a big deal. Because truth be told, I really did want to make love with Ben. I had decided a while ago that if I wanted any man for my first time, it'd be him. And I had enough fantasies involving him to confirm that statement.

As I finally finished packing and waited out at the street for Burgess to pick me up, I was biting my lip as I tried to quickly think of the right thing to do. But nothing came up. I was locked in a mental black box, stuck and unable to take action.

“Hey, Mary!” Walker came out of the lobby with a sweater on. The sun had set and already a cool breeze had brushed through the city. Apparently, Walker must have felt colder than usual as he wasn't sporting his usual shorts and sandals. “Were you just going to leave without saying a goodbye?”

“Oh!” I surprised myself by how airheaded I was. I was so lost in my dilemma that I compeltely forgot about him. My cheeks reddened in guilt. “Sorry, my mind’s not all there right now.”

Nodding in compassion, Walker patted my shoulder. “You have fun, okay? That’s what matters. You look like you could use the break.”

“I could say the same for you,” I warily commented about the many jobs he worked.

Walker pushed aside my words with a goofy grin then changed the subject. “Did Lucy tell you about my request?”

“Yeah, I’ll try to hook a king.”

“Right on!” Walker pumped his fist in the air enthused as Burgess’ limo rolled up. Before I could leave, Walker grabbed my arm gently. “Wait,” he hugged me tightly. “Take care, okay? It’s good to see you so happy.”

I felt awkward as I stiffly patted his back. “You too,” I muttered unsure of myself as I said my goodbye.

When I sat at the limo, I was half worried that Burgess would have been angry at Walker’s hug but Burgess was looking at me with a smile and he asked, “You have everything you need?”

“Yeah.” I nodded as I quickly put my duffel bag on my lap. It was heavy enough to be used as an anchor on a ship. I timidly kept myself from touching him, my body slinked in the corner like an outcast.

“Mary,” Burgess called out at me, his eyebrow raised. “Come here.”

“I’m okay, thanks,” I quickly replied a bit too eager to avoid him. My mind was going at the speed of light, and I wasn’t acting rationally. I finally got what the phrase, ‘loose cannon’ met. I felt like I was going to fire a bowling ball randomly.

Burgess kept his confused expression, but a curl on his lips signified a teasing smirk as he crept closer to me. “Mary…”

I let out a quick and forceful laugh as I moved to a different seat across from Burgess. “I’m fine, really! Just stay where you are…”

“Oh no,” Burgess shook his head playfully, his voice calm and fresh like an isolated pool of water. He quickly got out of his seat and put each arm to my sides, blocking me from escaping. He was over me, his face shining with amusement. “None of that.” And he quickly pressed his lips on my forehead, his mouth warm and soothing.

I almost broke into a thousand pieces but I kept my posture and body still.

“Are you uncomfortable because of this trip?” Burgess backed off but kept me close enough so he could study my face.

“Yeah,” I nodded and I felt a slight breeze of embarrassment rush past my body.

Burgess smiled gently and ran his hand from my temple down to my cheek, his fingers radiated a tingling sensation from my face to my ankles. “Why?”

I struggled to swallow, and I blurted out, “Are we going to have sex?”

I expected a defensive response, but Burgess was calm. If anything, amusement was tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Do you not want to?”

“I do—it’s just,” I was rapidly trying to explain but I felt like a giant chicken as I cowardly shrunk back in the seat’s cushion. I did my best not to sound too eager or too nervous. “I never did it before.”

“I know,” Burgess smirked but kissed me lightly on the lips. “But you have nothing to worry about. It's your body, and you have complete control over it. I'm a respectable man. And I want every moment I spend with you to be perfect. And I'm very good, I promise."

Normally, that wouldn't make me feel any better, but I just laughed at his smugness. I felt as though I really was falling in love with him. I began to relax and my worry had disappeared. Maybe it was because he was so close and my mind was fuzzy from his soft spoken words, but I smiled reassured and relieved as I let him continue to caress my face.

"Thanks," I meekly beamed as I kissed him lightly on the corner of his mouth. "You're so nice to me."

Burgess nodded. "I am. What you do is what you get."

"What do you mean?" I blinked, wondering if he was suggest that I'd be nice to him back.

"Don't play dumb," Burgess scoffed in his arrogant tone. I began to take offense until he continued. "Not many people would read me my favorite children's fairy tales when I'm in a hospital bed. Or always care about how I felt." Burgess took my hand and pressed it against his chest, over his heart. "I hate sounding sappy and clichéd, but you've touched my heart. No one's treated me with as much kindness as you."

"That's not true," I shook my head as I tried to not sound too humble. But I found it hard to believe.

"I never had someone treat me like you do. You make me feel good. That's why you're the girl of my dreams." Burgess narrowed his eyes. "To me, you're perfect. Just who you are." I felt my insides melt, and my lips trembled at how sweet he was being. But Ben blinked, quickly turning away as his face turned a light shade of red. He wasn't used to opening up so greatly to anyone, which showed me how intimate he was being right there. For the rest of the ride to the airport, we sat in silence and leaned against each other affectionately.

>

Burgess had a large house nestled deep in the woods, ten miles from the beach. What shocked me was the cold, and as we were driving through the narrow roads I was shivering in my coat.

“You didn’t have anything thicker?” Burgess had given me his coat and wrapped his arm around me, his body heat strong enough to radiate warmth onto me. Despite the chauffer turning on the heat at full blast I still felt cooler than comfortable. My fingernails were tainted with a purple shade. I had four long sleeved shirts and a pair of tights underneath my jeans. And still, I was underdressed.

“No… sorry. But what about you, won’t you get cold?”

“I’m fine.” He was dressed warmly in a thick sweater and wool slacks, a scarf stylishly wrapped around his neck. I knew Lucy would have called him something sarcastic and on the lines of ‘pansy’ or ‘fancy man’ but to me he was smartly dressed.

His vacation home resembled a very large log cabin, giving off a cultural and traditional vibe as we entered the warm and inviting building. Already, I could smell the faint scent of burnt wood and basked in the heat of the nearby fire.

Brushing the snow off my shoes, I looked around at the neatly furnished entryway. A part of me was panged with envy at how beautiful the place was but the frugal and patronizing part of me felt that all of this excess was unnecessary.

My curiosity was nagging at me, so like an animal exploring a new territory I looked at each room.

But before I could get away, Burgess grabbed me up by the waist and spun me around almost gaily and seeing him at this light hearted act was surprising, but I giggled all the same.

I fell onto a couch, my entire body paralyzed in excitement as Burgess leaned forward to kiss me vigorously, his mouth like honey on my lips. My eyes were closed, but they fluttered open as I looked out the window.

I thought I saw something—something almost out of place, but when there was a sudden movement outside, I assumed it was just an animal—or one of Burgess’ guards or housekeepers who worked on the property.

Forgetting about it, I returned all of my attention and affection on Ben, and I decided that I wanted to know him at that moment. Feeling an urge of lust and desire wash over me and become part of my blood, I ran my hands over his arms. I could feel the muscles in his biceps stretch and stiffen at my touch, but his sweater was blocking me from feeling all of him.

Feeling shy, I was timid but daring when I placed my hands under his shirt to drag my fingers over his stomach muscles, a well set of abs greeting me.

A coy smile was on Burgess’ mouth as he pulled off all the layers from his back, exposing a slender but powerful body.

“Why don’t we go somewhere a bit more comfortable?” Burgess sat up and got off of the couch, his hand securely over mine.

He lead me to a bedroom, where the king sized bed looked inviting.