What Can You Not Buy With Money?

My cell phone’s alarm clock jolted me awake. I had a slight line of damp drool on my chin, which I wiped as I quickly turned the horrible ringing off.

I felt dead. It was 3:01 AM. My entire body was heavy and sluggish. I leaped up and shook my body to make sure I would stay awake. I stretched and my yawn was wide enough to run on.

When I went into the bathroom to ease my bladder, I stared at the wall for ten minutes in my exhausted daze. Desperate to stay awake, I turned the shower on at its coldest, stripped, and dived into the raining water. That woke me up better than caffeine pills and coffee.

My heart accelerated at such a high rate that I was sure it would burst inside of me. While I was shampooing my hair, I realized I accidentally used conditioner instead. Worried that I would look like a grease ball, I quickly poured a double dose my shampoo and scrubbed my head for a few minutes longer. I realized I was running late, and would have to skip breakfast. My breath would reek unless I stopped by a convenience store for some gum and coffee. While I let the shampoo sit in my head, I brushed my teeth. The shampoo ran into my eyes, blinding me.

The pain was enough to make me mouth curse words. I couldn’t yell out or Lucy would wake up. And I would invoke the terrible wrath of her temper.

Lucy left a towel hanging on the rack by the shower for me the night before. I quickly dabbed my body dry, held it around me, and quickly went back into my room.

The empty room had so much open space that the water was quickly evaporating from my skin. I shivered as I stepped over my sleeping bag and dug through my duffel back. I didn’t have many clothes, but I settled for a simple button down shirt. Sadly, the only pairs of pants I had were denim. I couldn’t ask Lucy, and I doubted she would have anything that would fit me. Her tall and well toned frame outmatched my vertically challenged body.

Luckily, I had a skirt. But it had a broken zipper on it. I managed to slip it on without using the zipper, but just the fact that I wouldn’t be able to pull it up when I had to use the bathroom told me that coffee was out of the question.

Yet my horrible nightmare was yet to begin. I didn’t shave my legs, and I didn’t have any panty hose. Checking my phone, it was 3:25 AM. I had about ten minutes before I had to head to work.

I put on my nicest shoes, grabbed my backpack, and quietly left my room. I thought of placing the housekey on the kitchen counter for Lucy to find, but I tossed the thought aside. I had to stop by the grocery store and buy stockings. I didn’t want Burgess to catch a glimpse of my prickly calves.

The elevator trip down the stairs felt impossibly long. I wondered if I should have taken the stairs, but when I finally reached the ground floor I half sprinted/half skidded out the lobby and into the cool early morning air. It was so cold outside that I could see my breath. My damp hair was already beginning to solidify in the freezing air. And as I picked at a strand, I mentally slapped myself for forgetting to brush my hair.

Disoriented, I hurried inside the grocery store and went straight to the personal supplies. They had black tights hanging on the shelf, which I grabbed one and went to the lone cashier who looked half asleep. He looked familiar…

“Walker?” I was in disbelief as I waited for him to respond. His chin was resting in his hand, as he slumped over the cash register. His eyes were closed, his nose twitching as he slowly snored. “Walker,” I gently rocked him awake.

He jerked upright. “Sorry,” He wiped the corner of his eye as he blankly stared at me. “Mary, hey.”

“You work here?” I placed the pantyhose onto the conveyor belt.

Walker scanned the barcode and waited for me to pay. “Yeah, just part time. The Club only opens in the afternoon.” He warily eyed my worried expression. “It’s more of a way to get more disposable income. That’s all.”

“Oh,” I doubted he was telling the truth, but I didn’t question it any further and handed him a ten. “Keep the change.”

“No way,” Walker counted the change. “I’ll feel like a mooch for the rest of my life. You just get yourself off to work. Good luck,” Walker smiled at me. “I see you’re still wearing the necklace.”

I looked at my chest and saw it dangling my chest. I forgot to take it off last night. “Yeah.” The hemp was damp with shower water.

“That’s nice,” Walker pressed his elbow against the counter as he yawned noisily. He looked at me with tender care and a silly grin.

My heart skipped a beat all of a sudden. He looked completely at ease and I wondered if I was developing feelings for him. It felt like I was getting a little crush over Walker. “I better go,” I sadly didn’t want to leave him. It was admirable for him to work a full time job and a part time job on the side. But a reminder that he might love Lucy diminished my emotions. I thought they’d be a nice couple together.

“All right, why don’t you give me or Lucy a call on your lunch break?” Walker called as I began to leave.

“Sure, what’s your number?” I took out my cell phone.

>

I began walking to the corporate building while taking the route with bus stops strewn down the road. Eventually, a bus arrived at a stop a few feet away, and I quickly went on. My skin was colder than ice, and I was trembling from the sudden heat that the bus emanated. I took a seat at the front, and earnestly waited to arrive at work.

I was five minutes away from being late. The bus finally stopped near the front doors, where I quickly got off and ran to the front doors. They didn’t swing open as they normally did. I tried to open them, but they were locked.

“Damn it!” I cursed, slamming my fist against the glass doors.

“Keep showing an attitude and it won’t look so positive in your performance review,” a man’s voice called behind me.

I quickly turned to face Vern Karlsson. “Sorry,” I took a step back, instantly sobered down. He looked at me with agitation as he took out of his pocket an I.D. card with the Burgess logo printed on it. There was a black sensor pad to the left of the door, which he swiped his card across and instantly the doors swung to the sides.

“Mr. Burgess is already in. Here is your I.D. card. You’ll need it to go anywhere in this building, especially out of business hours. You are to report to his office immediately,” Vern blatantly droned as he took off his coat and hung it on a rack. He took a seat behind his desk and unlocked a drawer, where he pulled out a blank card. It didn’t have my name nor my picture on it. He then ignored me entirely as he turned on his computer.

My pantyhose would have to wait. Taking a deep breath I went toward the elevators.

The top floor was empty. Not a single person was around. I stopped in front of Burgess’ closed office door, internally searching for any strength or consolation. I promised myself that if I held my tongue and did a good job, I would treat myself to a bubble bath.

I knocked the door with three confident smacks.

“Come in,” Burgess’ voice called.

I opened the door to find my boss dressed smartly in a navy blue suit. He had reading glasses slipping off the tip of his nose, giving the illusion that he was a little clumsy but still hard at work. He was typing at a laptop. I saw an apple imprinted on the back.

What made me want to laugh was that he was wide awake. He looked as though he had a good night’s sleep, and didn’t need the aid of caffeine. Behind him the windows revealed a black early morning. I walked up to his desk and waited for him to give me orders.

He continued to ignore me as he paused from typing and began looking through documents. This dragged on for many minutes. I was becoming impatient, and I began glaring at him.

Finally, he took his reading glasses off and looked me up and down. “I’ve prepared you a list of meetings that will be held this week. You’ll find it in a manila envelope in the first drawer of your new desk outside. Also,” He reached from under his desk and pulled up a white paper bag with fancy twine for the straps, “Here are your belongings.” He pushed it to the tip of his desk toward me. I took it and looked inside. I pulled out a cell phone. “That is the latest Verizon Smartphone model. You will use this phone for Burgess Incorporated business only. If I find any calls to your boyfriend or for anything that doesn’t relate to an emergency or this company it will result in termination of your job. You will find this to be the most useful device when working for me.” Burgess took out a clipboard with a small stack of papers. “I’ll expect you to sign these concent forms as the phone has a GPS tracking device installed in case you misplace it. Any call you receive from me through that phone I expect you to answer. You may not turn it off unless you are in a meeting. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mr. Burgess,” my voice was dry and cracked out of lack of sleep. I took the clipboard and a pen as I began to read the documents.

“I’ll expect you to organize my schedule daily, along with familiarizing yourself with accepting my calls. Whenever you receive a phone call at your desk or your cell, you must greet the person and transfer their call to my phone if need be.”

“Yes, sir.” He was speaking with such monotonous dialogue that it took all the effort I could muster to pay attention. I couldn’t read the papers properly until he finished.

“That skirt is too short and distracting. I have zero tolerance for provocative clothing of any kind,” Burgess leaned back in his chair as he studied me further. "Though it wouldn't do you any good."

It took me two seconds to register that he called me ugly. I opened my mouth to snap at him but quickly closed it. It was going to be a long day.

Burgess studied me, then broke into a satisfied smirk as I glumly waited for him to continue. “You are to wear dress slacks. The shirt and shoes are fine, but I do not allow female employees to wear skirts of any kind. Appearances are dire in business, and I expect you to look your best. But I can’t have any distractions or problems with sexual harassment in my company. By the way,” Burgess stood up and went around his desk to be a few feet from me, “I do not permit dating coworkers. If any affairs happen, I will dismiss the both of you. Do you understand?”

He looked at me maliciously as I nodded my head. “Yes sir.”

“Good. Now get me some coffee, four doors from the elevator to your right. I only drink Kopi Luwak; black. Be sure not to touch that brand, unless you’re willing to pay me back. Feel free to help yourself to the other kinds. You look like you’ll need it.” He returned to his seat, picked up his office phone and began dialing.

“Yes sir,” I quickly retreated out the door. I thought it was a little weird how protective he was of some caffeine beans.

As the newbie, I got lost, even though I followed his instructions. It wasn’t until two wrong rooms that were clearly the offices of the higher employees like the COO and the vice presidents. I was starting to enjoy scanning my temporary card over the search pads. I was filled with a childish euphoria that made me giggle as I finally found the coffee lounge. Maybe it was due to my exhaustion, but I felt a little nauseated at the smell of many different brews perfuming the place. An entire shelf dedicated to all kinds of brands would make a Starbucks coffee barista jizz in their pants. Not that I did, but I swore I was in heaven. On the highest shelf, to the farthest left I saw a leather black case with a golden imprint with the words ‘LUWAK COFFEE’ glowing into my eyes. I was too short to reach it, as it was only a few inches from the ceiling.

Looking around for a stool, I couldn’t find any. There were large recliners, but I couldn’t budge any of them. It took about ten minutes to find an office chair outside the lounge, which I pushed. Thank God it had wheels.

I was careful not to have it throw me off balance as I stood onto the black cushion as I reached on my tiptoes to grab Burgess’ coffee beans.

I heard footsteps behind me as they stopped. I turned around to find my boss staring at me with his arms crossed, an amused and agitated scowl on his face.

“Sorry, it’ll just take me a second.” I almost jumped up to get it. I was only a few centimeters away from touching the case, but alas I was still too small.

“There’s going to be an introductory meeting in thirty minutes for you, where you’ll meet the president and directors, so we’re running low on time.” Even on the chair, Burgess had a lot of height on me. He stood behind me and easily reached the shelf as he took the black box from over my head and placed it on the counter in an annoyed smack.

“So hurry up, or I’ll have to keep you here an extra hour to make up lost time.”

“Alrigh—” I took a step back on nothing but air. The chair flung out from under me and hit the wall with a loud clatter as I started to fall on my back.

I tried to grab onto the coffee shelf to catch my fall, but gravity was kidnapping me to the floor. Everything seemed to happen so fast, yet it felt as though I would fall forever.

I landed on Burgess. My back exploded in stinging pain as I winced.

“Are you all right?” Burgess asked as he pushed me off of him. My vision was getting a little foggy from the fall but I was all right. I could see he looked genuinely worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He had placed himself under me to make sure I wouldn’t hit my head against the floor. I was impressed and thankful. I guess he wasn’t a bad guy after all.

His face melted into relief as he let out a sigh. “It’d be just what I need if the company had a lawsuit.”

The pipe dream of him having a drop of compassion in his blood vanished. And I was insulted. “Why would I sue? I was the one who fell.”

“In front of a jury, I would be the one in the wrong.” Burgess stood up and didn’t offer me a hand. “But I doubt you’d let a free medical bill pass.”

“Your right, I wouldn’t.” I refused to look at him as he studied me. “But don’t I already get health benefits from this job?”

Burgess started preparing his own coffee, irritation spewing out of his actions as he smacked the coffee pot open, dumped the beans into the grinder, then slammed it shut. It looked like that machine wouldn’t last the day. “Of course, you have full medical.”

“So I already have free health care. You’d pay for it.”

“Well I’m impressed. You’ve spun this argument around well.”

I admit my ego was generously stroked at that compliment. I felt like a god when being appraised. To hide my smile I turned my head and pretended to study the different coffee brands. I quickly grabbed the one closest to my reach, which turned out to be something Arabic.

Then I decided to ask the question that he never answered. “Why did you hire me?”

The coffee grinds were done. Burgess removed them and placed them in the coffee maker. “I’ve had plenty of people apply for your position. Many of them were well educated and respectable members in society. But they were all too eager to work for me for reasons I couldn’t tolerate. Most of them were like Lila Maddock.” The maker began dripping black nectar into the coffee cup. “You didn’t even want a job from me, did you?”

“No,” I shook my head as I began fiddling with the coffee box.

“That’s why. Your focus would be on your work, not on me. You were the safest choice.”

I smiled at him. “So you’re saying we have no sexual chemistry.”

His face suddenly burst into a dark shade of pink. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Exactly.”

“You’re right.” I lied. If only he knew of the random little heart throbs he caused in my chest. Whoever said it was possible to lust and hate at the same time was right. I had to make sure my hormones stayed under the radar to keep my job. But that seemed relatively easy. He was right; my priorities were to the job more than him. Oh, the irony for his own personal assistant to say that, yet necessary.

Burgess’ face turned from slightly embarrassed to angry. “Enough chitchat.” His coffee cup was full to the brim. He took it swiftly and took a greedy sip. “Let’s head to the meeting. Do you have everything you need?”

“Yeah,” I put the Arabic coffee beans back on the shelf. No morning boost for now.

Burgess had his back to me as he led me to the conference room. I felt tension buzzing out of his body. I wondered if he was quiet because he was angry that I insulted him, but I let it slide. If it really bothered him, he would tell me off. But he had thrown harsh cracks at me. I doubted our relationship was anywhere close to ethical. I hated him and had no respect for him. He seemed to feel the same way.

The room was very crisp and cool with a ringing echo dancing off the expensive paintings that clothed the walls. A large table surrounded by enormous stuffed chairs surrounded the platform like an army of turtles. Burgess took a seat at the head of the table, and I sat to his left.

He looked down at me in skeptical smite. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Not wanting to stand up, I decided to play idiot. “Sitting.” I quickly regretted my cheek, as his face darkened and soured.

“You stand during these meetings. These seats are for the higher staff.”

“Okay,” I shrugged, accepting the cruel fate of being belittled. “Where should I stand?”

“Behind me, to my right. I’ll expect you to take notes, and I suggest you record this meeting. You’ll need to pay attention closely.”

“Do I get a tape recorder?” I hesitantly asked as he stared at me in impatience.

“Your phone can record. Figure it out, and quickly.” He continued to snap as the first few directors began flowing into the room.