What Can You Not Buy With Money?

I awoke, unfamiliar with my surroundings. I had a headache, and the back of my throat was dry. I coughed, looking around to adapt to the room I was in.

I was in Burgess’ bed, tucked securely in by piles of plush fabrics. I was fully clothed, but something seemed amiss.

I blinked, surprised at how I couldn’t remember anything. Maybe it was my brain trying to protect me from having a break down. Or maybe I already had lost it. I struggled to grasp any fragments from the previous events, but all I received was an empty void.

Burgess wasn’t around, though I saw a note on the nightstand beside me. I picked it up, recognizing his handwriting.

You’re free.

That was all he wrote. My head turned to the alarm clock, and I noticed that it was night still. No, not night still—it was the next day. I had slept that long, it seemed.

I didn’t understand what was wrong, but I was too focused on gathering my things and leaving than to ponder on it. Walker’s surgery was over hours ago. I’m sure the doctors would allow visitors soon.

When I was dressed, I quickly ran out of the building. Despite feeling unclean from the enigmatic twenty four hours, I called a taxi and went straight to the hospital.

When I arrived in front of Walker’s room, I met Lucy and Vern. Both of them looked at me with the familiar pity that only the doctors provided. But they also had this look that made me realize that something was wrong. I was about to reach the door handle, when it opened. I looked upwards, surprised at seeing Burgess.

“What were you doing in Walker’s room?” I asked, trying to look inside.

“Just giving him my regards.” Burgess had no vindictive spark in his eye. He looked at me sadly, almost with pity. This only caused me to worry even more, and I could feel myself tremble. “You should speak to the doctors first, before you see him.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” My heart faltered. “Is he okay?”

“Mary,” Dr. Hawkins approached us, a hand in a pocket. He seemed impatient, but at the same time he must have known that beating around the bush wouldn't ease the result of the grave news. “I’m sorry. The surgery failed.”

I blinked, shaking my head. “But…”

“I warned both of you that there was a very small chance. Again, I’m sorry.” He looked to the door that led to Walker. “You should be with him.”

I nodded, feeling hollow. “He’s really going to die?”

“Yes. Nothing can stop death. Very little can be done to delay it.” The doctor put a hand on my shoulder. “But… unfortunately, the surgery took a great deal of Charles’ energy. And it seems that his body isn’t healing.”

I blinked, surprised. The surgery had not only failed, but it had stolen away even more of Walker's life. “How much time does he have left?”

Dr. Hawkins nodded. “I can’t say, but it’s all up to him. It could be minutes to days. But… I don’t think it’s going to be long. You should quickly go to him.”

“But—” I tried to refuse the truth, but when Lucy put her arm around me I sobbed inwardly.

I looked at Burgess, trying not to start bawling like a baby. It was too horrible of a time to be in front of him.

“Goodbye, Mary.” Burgess curtly nodded, without another word to me. He, too, walked away. And I was thankful for it. He didn’t look smug, or even mention the night before. The sight of my poor emotional state was an eyesore. He just disappeared, refusing to look at me.

I wished I could have done the same, but I knew I had to see Walker. But I felt used, as though all that sacrifice was for nothing.

“Can I see him alone?” I turned to Lucy and Vern for permission.

Lucy nodded, her mouth in a tight frown. “Whatever you two want. We’ll be nearby if you need us, okay?”

“Thank you,” I hugged her, before proceeding into Walker’s room. I wished time would freeze, so I wouldn’t have to have my heart broken all over again.

But when I entered his room, I put on a show by forcing a smile as I exuberated cheer and glee.

“Walker, how are you holding up?” I went to his side sitting down and taking his hand. I was shaking, trying desperately not to start weeping. It was hard to pretend to be strong. Because I wasn’t. Not like him. But his body was far from stable, and his emaciated form was almost too painful to look upon.

Walker looked at me sadly. “It’s okay, you don’t have to force yourself.”

With his permission, I collapsed, burying my face in his bed sheets as I started crying. He put a hand on the top of my head, already his skin felt cold and light. He was so weak, but he was patient as I began to cry out, “I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have forced you to do this surgery.” And when I apologized, I realized that it truly was my fault. I destroyed everything.

“No,” Walker shook his head. “I wanted to take it, too. I always had the chance to say no. You did… so much. You were willing to give up everything for me.”

I looked up at him, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “How much do you know?”

“Burgess told me everything.”

I looked away, feeling ashamed. “I—I had to.”

“No, but you did it for me. You were willing to give yourself up like that. You know,” Walker laughed quietly, “When he first told me, I wished I was strong enough to kill him. But when he continued, I knew he was just telling me to let me know. You really are one amazing woman. But just so you know… you didn’t sleep with him.”

“What?” I blinked in surprise, though relieved as well. Burgess must have kept my clothes on to show his docile plan. “What are you talking about?”

“Burgess slipped something in your water. Or at least that’s what he told me. He wanted you to think you slept with him last night. Or something like that.”

I felt a wave of anger rush through me. “That son of a—”

“Hey, I’m surprised he didn’t do what he said he would. But when he told me, I knew that he loves you, so much that he wouldn’t really do that to you. But his pride got in the way, I guess.” He laughed, but started coughing. He had a handkerchief, which was beginning to dry with his coughed blood. "He told me he wanted to see how far you'd go for me. I guess it's appropriate to say I'm flattered."

“Walker,” I wiped my face with the back of my hand again. “I don’t want you to die.”

“No, don’t talk like that. Don’t talk about what you don’t want. It’ll just make you unhappy. And all I want is for you to be as happy as you can.” His voice was faltering, his throat dry. Every time he paused to breathe, it was like a tornado of wheezing drowned my ears. “You gave yourself up, for the money to pay for my surgery.”

“Money.” I narrowed my eyes and my face twisted painfully. Money had been the root of everything it seemed. I needed money to survive. We all did. I gave myself up for money, even if the cause was for something great, I had proved myself wrong. Everything could be bought with money, if the price is right. And the lies that it gave was all too cruel to believe. “What can you not buy with money?” I asked rhetorically, knowing the answer was probably ‘nothing’.

“A lot of things.” Walker turned his head to get a better look at me. “Money can buy your body, but it can’t buy your love. Money can buy you hope, but it can’t buy you the truth. Money can buy you all the things you’d ever want, but it can’t buy you happiness. Money can buy you doctors, but it can’t buy you life.” Walker wiped the corner of my eye, brushing a dried tear from an eyelash. “A long time ago, I learned that the best things in life—the things every person has the right to have—should be free. And they are.”

Now I understood why he always shied away whenever Madame Slater offered to help him financially. I put my hand over his wrist, feeling the cold skin. I could feel his life drain away; it was that strong of an impact on me. It felt as though all the blood that pumped through his body was slowly down, a millisecond at a time. “Walker… oh, Walker.”

“Hey,” Walker smiled at me. “You’re so beautiful, you know that? Inside and out. And I love you. I’m so happy you love me too. But you can’t just let your love die with me.” He pulled my hand and kissed it. “Move on when I’m gone. For me, okay? Don’t waste your love.”

That request was out of the question. “No, I couldn’t do that.” I shook my head. “I’ll never forget you.”

“Mary, you know that you don’t have to forget someone in order to fall in love with another. You’ve got a life to live. And if you spend the rest of it just… being sad that I’m gone, that’s no life at all. In fact, it’ll be like I’ve died all over again. Promise me, you’ll let yourself be happy. Because I am. I’m so happy right now, and that’s how everyone should live and die. And I’ve lived long enough to say it’s been a good one. Promise me.” His eyes were beginning to droop, as though he was about to fall asleep.

“I promise,” I kissed his mouth, noting that he was hardly breathing.

“Enjoy your life. That’s what I’ve been telling all my friends. And I want especially you to do this. Because it makes the whole thought of dying all that much better, if I make you all promise you’ll live to the best of your ability. I even told Ben this.”

“Really?” I blinked, smiling a little. “I’m glad you two made peace.”

“Me too.” Walker chuckled, his voice sounding far off. “Me… too…”

My smile faltered when he stopped talking. “Walker?” I took his hand, putting another on his throat. I couldn’t feel a pulse. “Walker!” Fresh tears began to pour as I grabbed his hands. I buried my face in his chest, but I couldn’t hear his heart any longer or feel the waves of life on his body. He was gone.