Time
Time
I've never asked for much in my life.
I would allways say thanks to things I had and what people gave me. Even though I was a pretty popular kid in school, I never asked for much. I forgot my cigarettes once, when I was at school, and Im sure I barely made it through the classes because my body was shaking so badly from the lack of nicotine. I could've just got my hands on a cigarette.
But I never asked.
I realised I was gay at the age of eighteen. I told my parents, and they didn't like it at all. My mom didn't want to tell her girl friends that her boy was gay, and my dad felt ashamed because he'd brought up a gay son. When I got my first boyfriend it got harder, because I was not allowed to bring him home.
Because I never asked.
When I was at the age of nineteen I lost my virginity to a boy in my mathclass, who I barely knew. We were at a party,and I was pretty drunk. If not, I'd never have done it. I was the one to take, and it hurt like a bitch, but the alcohol took some of the worse pain away, and it also took away some of the memories of that night. After the sex he put on his clothes and went back to the party. He didn't stay with me.
Maybe because I never asked.
I went to a art school, and I was one of the best in my class. When someone gave me a brush I'd paint the most beautiful picture, when someone gave me a pencil I'd draw the most funny cartoon, and when someone gave me a notebook I'd write the most breathtaking lyrics of them all. My parents were so proud of me, and the teachers thought I was gonna end up famous with my art work, and when a few people from a very huge art school came to pick out their new star, they didn't pick me.
Because I never asked.
I dropped out of art school and started working. Every night I went to the same place, my hoodie protecting me from the cold wind as I strolled down the streets. I wore the same hoodie when I went home too, but then it protected me from people that might not like the bruises on my face. I could've gotten a better job, though.
But I never asked.
I got lung cancer, and ended up in the hospital because I started throwing up blood. I was in a pretty bad shape, but I got medication and got better, and when I felt well enough I went home again. My parents were pretty pissed off because I didn't want to stop smoking, and my mom cried every night because she knew she could loose her son. The doctors could give me an operation,though.
But I never asked.
Now when I think about it, Im glad I've got you. You've been there through my whole life, since we were eighteen and now we're thirty-two,
Even though I never asked you to.
It's funny how you are my first and will be last boyfriend, and it's funny how I cheated on you when we were younger.
It's funny how you believed in me when I went to art school, and it's funny how I just dropped out.
It's funny how we started selling ourselves on the street together, and it's funny how nobody found out.
It's funny how I got lung cancer, and it's funny Im still here.
It's funny how time pass by, and I never used it well.
And it's funny we're gonna get married before I die,
I asked.
Every day I wake up Im surprised Im still alive, but when I turn around in bed and look at your sleeping face bathed in the soft morninglight Im happy I am.
Because damn,
It's wonderfull to wake up every day
and smoke so many cigarettes
and cough blood
and love you so fucking much...
I would allways say thanks to things I had and what people gave me. Even though I was a pretty popular kid in school, I never asked for much. I forgot my cigarettes once, when I was at school, and Im sure I barely made it through the classes because my body was shaking so badly from the lack of nicotine. I could've just got my hands on a cigarette.
But I never asked.
I realised I was gay at the age of eighteen. I told my parents, and they didn't like it at all. My mom didn't want to tell her girl friends that her boy was gay, and my dad felt ashamed because he'd brought up a gay son. When I got my first boyfriend it got harder, because I was not allowed to bring him home.
Because I never asked.
When I was at the age of nineteen I lost my virginity to a boy in my mathclass, who I barely knew. We were at a party,and I was pretty drunk. If not, I'd never have done it. I was the one to take, and it hurt like a bitch, but the alcohol took some of the worse pain away, and it also took away some of the memories of that night. After the sex he put on his clothes and went back to the party. He didn't stay with me.
Maybe because I never asked.
I went to a art school, and I was one of the best in my class. When someone gave me a brush I'd paint the most beautiful picture, when someone gave me a pencil I'd draw the most funny cartoon, and when someone gave me a notebook I'd write the most breathtaking lyrics of them all. My parents were so proud of me, and the teachers thought I was gonna end up famous with my art work, and when a few people from a very huge art school came to pick out their new star, they didn't pick me.
Because I never asked.
I dropped out of art school and started working. Every night I went to the same place, my hoodie protecting me from the cold wind as I strolled down the streets. I wore the same hoodie when I went home too, but then it protected me from people that might not like the bruises on my face. I could've gotten a better job, though.
But I never asked.
I got lung cancer, and ended up in the hospital because I started throwing up blood. I was in a pretty bad shape, but I got medication and got better, and when I felt well enough I went home again. My parents were pretty pissed off because I didn't want to stop smoking, and my mom cried every night because she knew she could loose her son. The doctors could give me an operation,though.
But I never asked.
Now when I think about it, Im glad I've got you. You've been there through my whole life, since we were eighteen and now we're thirty-two,
Even though I never asked you to.
It's funny how you are my first and will be last boyfriend, and it's funny how I cheated on you when we were younger.
It's funny how you believed in me when I went to art school, and it's funny how I just dropped out.
It's funny how we started selling ourselves on the street together, and it's funny how nobody found out.
It's funny how I got lung cancer, and it's funny Im still here.
It's funny how time pass by, and I never used it well.
And it's funny we're gonna get married before I die,
I asked.
Every day I wake up Im surprised Im still alive, but when I turn around in bed and look at your sleeping face bathed in the soft morninglight Im happy I am.
Because damn,
It's wonderfull to wake up every day
and smoke so many cigarettes
and cough blood
and love you so fucking much...