I Swear I Love You

Jess’ POV

“Jesssssss.”

Ignoring this voice brought another to come out and play, even going to the lengths of harmonising with the last.

“Jesssssss.” The duet approached me from both sides of the couch, crawling across it until their faces were only inches from mine. To the left hovered the black Mohican of Johnny Christ, while to my right sat his partner in crime, chief annoyance to me and current girlfriend, Lacey.

I greeted them both in the same bored, sweeping glance before returning my attention to the television screen, despite the fact that the programme I had been watching had ended ages ago, and the screen was now filled with oddly shaped alien type things bouncing around.

“You can’t ignore us forever Jess,” Lacey stated, slumping back against the couch but still somehow managing to basically lay all her weight against me. “Not with you coming on tour with us and all. You won’t be able to live along on that bus in silence.” She thought about what she had said for a few moments before adding something else. “Well, I guess you can for the first half but as soon as you hit Chicago, then you’re mine.”

“I never said I was going in the first place.”

Both of them simultaneously frowned; obviously trying to have a secret conversation by mouthing at each other behind my back. Needless to say, it didn’t work.

“You know that lip-reading isn’t particularly hard, don’t you?”

Lacey heaved a loud sigh. “You know Jess, sometimes you really do bring the mood down.”

She swung her legs off the couch and stood up just as Johnny did the same. He instantly felt for her hand and encased it in his own, before he turned and looked back to me. “I’m only going to say it one more time Jess, but we would really love it if you came along. Everything just seems a bit more… together with you around.”

And with that last sentiment, they both left.

“I know you would love it if I would come, but what would happen if I have another episode without any of you guys around?” I murmured to myself. The question lingered unanswered in the air as I walked over to the window and stared out of it, my arms tucked across my chest. “I know you would try to be there if it ever did, but how can anyone guarantee that?” I perched myself on the side and drew my knees up to my stomach. “People just don’t understand my side.”

“Jessica Fawn; ever the martyr,” Jimmy remarked, briefly hovering in the doorway before making his way over. “Or rather I should say Jessica Sullivan.”

I looked to him and smiled. “Only until the end of the tour.”

“You never know,” he replied with a shrug. “Something might hold it up. Court proceedings… lawyer stuff…”

“You make it sound like you want it to be delayed.”

“Just being prepared.” He grinned. “Plus I kind of like holding the title of married. Makes me feel like I’ve ticked off one of the goals everyone sets themselves in life.”

“Maybe, but don’t most people like to check off that goal with someone they actually wanted to marry?” I retorted. “Neither of us even remembers getting hitched; if it weren’t for that piece of paper I wouldn’t believe it myself.”

“Who said I didn’t want to marry you?”

That surprised me. “What?”

“Well something that night must have made us do it,” he reasoned. “Maybe the out-of-it people that we were those three days had a connection.”

“You said it yourself Jimmy, we were out of it,” I replied. “We don’t even know what we did for the other three days.”

“Actually…” He trailed off to produce a few photos which he then handed to me. “Apparently we were very camera-happy during that time. I found these sent to my house; at some point we must have dropped them off in the shop or whatever and they only just decided to post them.”

“These…”

To anyone who saw these photos, they would all pretty much come to the same conclusion. Captured in each, and every, single frame was the picturesque couple, obviously both captivated wholly and entirely by their partner, almost as if they are equally starstruck of the other. As I looked through them I couldn’t actually believe that I was one of them; I had always hoped to one day meet a guy who would look at me the way Jimmy did in these photos- but it was wrong. It was wrong that he looked at me in that manner, knowing in hindsight that we had got impossibly hitched after only a day or so of meeting. It was also wrong that I was beginning to wish that the scenario printed in front of me was real- or at least that I could remember them. To remember the pure ecstasy of being in love that the me in that photo was enveloped within.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Jimmy murmured. His gaze followed mine through the photos.

“What is?”

“How we looked like that.” He chuckled softly. “How I looked like that.”

“It is weird,” I agreed. “I’ve always wanted to feel like that- and how ironic that when it happened, I can’t even attempt to remember it happening.” I laughed. “It’s kind of cruel.” I came to the first photo I had looked at again and noticed that there must have been more- if the number printed in the corner had anything to do with it. “Where are the others?”

“Other what?”

“Photos.”

“Oh… right.” He took the few I had back and smiled. “There’s a condition to seeing them.”

“A condition?”

“Yep.” He put the photos back in the right order before sliding them into the front pocket of the hoodie he was wearing. “You have to come on tour with us.”

“Jimmy…” I trailed off. “You know I can’t, I’m going to my parent’s house in Florida.”

“Well, until we get to Florida then. You said they lived in Orlando; we’re stopping off there to play a show so why not see them then? You never know, after a few days you might get bored so you can rejoin us- we’re there for a few days anyway.”

I opened my mouth to protest but he quickly cut me off. “Come on Jess; it’ll be fun. I promise.”

I sighed. “I don’t have much of a choice do I?”

“Well I wasn’t going to accept a no anyway. However we have-” He quickly grabbed me before I could stop him and swung me easily onto his back in a fireman’s lift, securing me in place by draping an arm around my waist, even as I was trying to wriggle free. “-business to attend to.”

“Jimmy!” I cried, slapping him on the back with my hands. “Let me go!”

“If I put you down, you’ll just run away,” he replied matter-of-factly. “So no.”

“Jimmy! For god’s sake! JIMMY!”

Even when he stopped replying to me I could tell long before that he wasn’t going to be letting me go any time soon so I simply gave up and submitted myself as a quiet kidnapee. The others that had gathered in Matt and Val’s kitchen gave us funny looks as we walked past but didn’t say anything; I guessed this behaviour must be pretty normal for the drummer. Or at least as normal as normal can be in the family of Avenged Sevenfold.

It was after he had walked upstairs, crossed to, opened and entered the third door on the floor that my journey on his shoulder finally met its end as he simply dropped me onto the bed in the room, then ducking underneath it and reaching for something.

I crawled to the end to see what he was doing and asked, “What are you doing?”

Jimmy grunted in response- or rather at the effort he had to expend as he reached for something under the bed. After he managed to get it he pulled it onto his lap so I could see- a suitcase.

“Why did you get that out?” I asked, cocking my head to one side in confusion. “Do you need to borrow it or something?”

“Oh, this isn’t for me,” he replied, picking himself up off the floor and tossing it next to me.

“Who is it for then?”

He grinned. “You.”

“Me?” I said incredulously. “The tour isn’t for a few more days!”

“I know.” He was already attacking my drawers and throwing my clothes into the open suitcase.

As he threw them in, I took them back out again and folded them into piles behind me. “Then why are you messing up all my clothes?” He didn’t reply; instead responding with throwing another armful of clothes into my suitcase. “Jimmy, for the life of me stop it! I don’t want to spend all night putting these back!”

“You don’t need to anyway,” he replied.

By now he had finished emptying all the drawers and my wardrobe of their contents and was now moving to the bed, picking up the piles I had made and putting them back into the suitcase. It was an unmoving cycle; he would put them in and I would immediately take them out again. In the end I got annoyed and just grabbed him by the wrists to stop him.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. His gaze dropped, so I raised my voice to make him return it to me again. “Jimmy Sullivan, what are you doing?!”

“I’m lonely.”

My grip loosened slightly. “You’re… you’re what?”

“I’m lonely,” he repeated, using the same monotone voice as before. With the release of his hands he slumped down next to me on the bed. “It’s just me in the house now.”

“But you lived alone before I came to stay, didn’t you?”

“Well yeah but…” He stopped and sighed, his eyes flickering for a split second to mine before looking away again, almost as if he was embarrassed. “I didn’t know how it felt to have someone live with you. I’d… I’ve lived on my own since I left home.”

“Jimmy…” I reached up and cupped his cheek, murmuring my words to him. “You big girl.”

He blinked at me, eyes wide. “I’m… what?”

“You heard me,” I chuckled, sliding off the bed and facing him from the front. “You, Jimmy Sullivan, are a big girl.”

“Hey-!”

“But-” I cut him off, pressing a finger to his lips to silence them. “I’ll come back with you.”

His words came out slightly muffled as he didn’t bother to move my finger. “You will?”

I nodded. “I’m grateful that Matt and Val let me stay, but I don’t think they remember I’m staying with them sometimes…”

“What do you…?” His words trailed off as he finally picked up on the hint. “Oh.”

“Oh is right,” I replied, moving away and tossing the clothes nearest to me into the suitcase. “I don’t want to have to listen to Val asking Matt to arrest her for being a bad girl again…”

For a second he remained in the stunned silence until it passed and he cracked, allowing him to laugh as he was helping me pack my clothes. “Looks like you got a premier seat to Matt and Val’s love life.”

“It was something I could live without…” I grumbled, glancing up at the walls that were just a bit too thin for my liking. “The amount of sleepless nights I’ve had…”

After the last of my things had been crammed into the suitcase I attempted to do up the zip- and failed miserably. Clearly I had too much stuff, but being who I am, I refused to let it win.

“Close damn it!” I growled, one foot resting against the side of the bed as I was tugging on the zip. “Close!”

“You know, there’s an easier way to that,” Jimmy mused.

I turned to him, exasperated. “How?”

“Like this.” Before I could stop him for the second time he swept me up into his arms, but unlike before he put me back down again straight after on the suitcase. “See?” Once he had zipped it shut he picked me up again as easily as the last time and set me back on the floor. “That’s how you do it. You just need a little bit of weight on top, that’s all.”

“You can’t just go around and pick me up whenever you-”

“Jess?” Jimmy looked at me oddly after I suddenly stopped, even resorting to poking me in the cheek as I froze. “Are you alright? Jess…?”

“How dare you call me a weight!” I screeched, sending him jumping back a small distance from shock. “What are you trying to say?!”

“Jess….I…” He didn’t know what to say.

I pointed a finger accusingly at him. “You should never say things like that to a lady!” His mouth opened to reply but no words came out, making him look more like a goldfish than anything else.

“But,” I began, dropping my finger, “I’ll forgive you this time.”

It seemed he was still getting over the shock from the first outburst. “You what?”

“I’ll forgive you.” I pulled the suitcase from the bed onto the floor. “However you have to carry my stuff,” I chuckled, forcing my belongings on him. “Fair?”

At first he just stared at what I had put into his arms until he finally laughed along with me. “I think that’s fair.”