I Swear I Love You

Jimmy’s POV

In the end we didn’t even bother going somewhere to eat and instead just bought a load of junk from a service station and settled ourselves in a deserted park. Val would have had a go at the two of us for the shit that we were shovelling into our mouths for ‘dinner’, since I could tell you there wasn’t even anything remotely healthy there. Hell, the wrappers were probably the healthiest part of them. I decided to tell this to Jess.

“Jesss…”

She rolled lazily to me. “Yeeess?”

“I think that we should have got a salad for eating.”

She smiled. “Well, I think…” She reached to her side and curled her fingers around the neck of the nearest bottle, dragging it to my lips and pouring some of its contents in. I’m not going to lie and say that the clear liquid was water.

After she took it away she looked at me curiously for a few moments. “What?

She didn’t answer; well, she didn’t need to considering her lips were already pressing softly against mine. A few seconds later she pulled away, a blush coating her cheeks as she was giggling. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I murmured. My body just seemed to act on its own as I rolled onto top of her and connected our lips again, the alcohol that had flooded our systems letting our desires run free. Deep down we both knew we were doing something we would later regret, but I have to tell you something- drunk people have no regrets. Only sober people do.

--

Johnny’s POV

Normally I’d turn my cell off at night so that I wouldn’t get woken up but since Rev and Jess were still out and I had the only key to the room, I thought I should keep it on just in case. When it rang at four in the morning, I guessed I was right to do so.

“Hello?” I mumbled, trying not to sound like I was about to fall back asleep again.

“Christ?”

“Yeah? Do you want me to let you in?”

I had perhaps staggered about half way to the door when I stopped. “No.”

“Then why are you ringing me?”

“Well…”

--

“I can’t believe I am down in Houston at half four in the morning bailing your two asses out of jail,” I sighed, wrapping my hoodie tighter around myself as we all walked outside the police station together. “Should I even bother asking what you got caught for?”

They both looked at each other and shared the same expression of a mixture between embarrassment and trying to suppress laughter. I could tell they were drunk, even without the vodka smell filling the car that Larry managed to fix for me. God that was an interesting conversation… or lack thereof.

“You are going to what?”

“Go pick up Jess and Rev.”

“Yeah I’ve got that bit…” Larry rubbed at his furrowed eyebrows. “But where again are you picking them up from?”

“I already told you.”

He sighed. “Just tell me Johnny.”

“The police station.”

He sighed again. “That’s what I thought you said.” In silence he walked over to the table in his room, picked up a set of keys and tossed them at me. “Here. Take this. It’s the rental Logan’s been driving you lot around in today.”

“Cheers Larry.”

I went to walk away when he spoke again. “And Johnny?”

“Yeah?”

“When you have them back just… just keep them out of my sight until I’ve got it sorted, alright?”

By the time I had driven the five minute distance back to the venue I had been filled in on every, exact detail of what they had done that night. They didn’t just tell me about the fact they had been caught for indecent exposure in a public park- oh no. They told me explicitly of how they got caught fucking each other in a public park just as a routine police patrol was happening. From the looks of them as well they seemed rather proud of the night’s events, but I could tell that as soon as morning came around and they returned back to reality the nature of what they had got up to would catch up to them.

And when that happens, all hell will break loose.

--

“Did Jimmy and Jess get back alright last night?” Val asked as we were all eating breakfast in the hotel. The title characters of her question were absent; their bodies still trying to sleep off the amount of alcohol they had both consumed.

Opposite me I could see Larry’s face contort in response to their names, obviously knowing he was going to be in for a rough day to prevent Jim’s nightly excursions from coming up in the next magazine interview we do.

“Yeah,” I replied, casually flicking some bacon in my mouth. “Perfectly safe.”

“That’s good.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “I wonder where they went last night.”

Larry’s expression darkened. I had to tell him what they got up to even though he asked me not to, since in the end, he’d have to be the one to clean up their mess. I’m pretty sure when I said the words indecent exposure he considered quitting there and then. However that might also be partly due to the fact I decided to alter the story Jimmy and Jess had told me slightly… by changing them from sleeping with each other to streaking in a public park due to alcohol. It wasn’t like it wasn’t believable- especially when Rev has ran down the corridors of a hotel before with nothing more than a towel wrapped around his shoulders claiming he was a superhero.

“I don’t know,” I lied. “They didn’t say.” I dropped my voice to a whisper so the others couldn’t hear. “Or rather I wish they didn’t say…”

I’m pretty sure Val was about to ask what I had said when a scream broke her off. Basically the whole dining room all turned their heads upwards to the ceiling, wondering as one what the hell the noise was. If you were either Larry or me, our heads fell in the opposite direction. We knew exactly what the noise was.

It looked like our two drunken lovebirds have woken from their slumber.

--

“Jess…”

After the scream I excused myself from the table and returned to the room, where I opened the door to Jess crying in a heap on the floor and Jimmy standing some distance away, obviously wanting to comfort her but not feeling right to close the gap to do it.

Once I was in the room I shut the door behind me, just in case the others might have followed. I stared at the two pitiful bodies of my friends. “You two are hopeless.”

Jess wrenched her trembling hands from her face to look at Jimmy. “How could you?”

He backed himself further away. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Why did you kiss me?” She rose to her feet, shaking. “Why did you do it?”

It looked as if he didn’t have an answer. “I…I…”

“Why didn’t you stop me Jimmy?” Jess screamed, her face stricken with tears. “Why did you do it?”

“I…”

“Why?”

“Because I like you!” He yelled back suddenly, surprising both Jess and me. “Is that what you wanted to hear? I like you Jess!” This time, Jess was the silent one as Jimmy repeated himself, his voice softer. “I like you.”

“No you don’t.”

He looked confused. “Yes I d-”

“No you don’t!” She shouted. Even now, with rage in her voice, she still cried. “You don’t okay? It was just the alcohol; that’s why you kissed me.”

“No it wasn’t-”

“I don’t want to hear it!” She clutched her head and whimpered. “I don’t want to hear you say it…”

“Jess…” He began as he started to walk over. “Look-”

“Don’t come near me!” She screamed. Her arms were clutching around her shaking frame as if it were her last defense. “Just don’t.” Her voice lowered to a whisper, pleading with him now. “Please don’t.”

By this point he was basically next to her and reached out to touch her arm. “Jess…”

But she stuck by her word and reflexively stepped away from his fingers, denying them the touch they so sorely wanted. “No…” She backed away to the door and opened it, leaving behind one word before disappearing out of it. “Sorry.”

“Jim-”

Before I could even finish his name Zack had stuck his head in, his eyes widening as he came just in time to see our drummer crumple to the floor, heartbroken. If he could tear out his heart right now, I would bet you anything that he would just so the pain that was flooding him was lessened. He would rather die without a heart than live crippled by one.

“What the fuck has happened here?”

I turned to Zack and sighed. “I don’t really know. Where’s Jess?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. She just ran past me and Brian crying. He’s gone after her to figure out what’s wrong so I came here.” He looked at Jimmy. He wasn’t crying since he knew we were here, but I could tell he wanted to. “What’s up with him?”

“Hangover,” I replied before deciding to try and salvage the situation. “Can you just give us a minute?”

Zack frowned; doubting me. “That does not look like just a hangover.”

“Look.” I sighed. “Just go; please? Go find Larry and send him up here then go to Brian and get Jess to come here too.” He opened his mouth to protest but I raised a hand to signal him to stop. “Just do as I ask Zack.”

He looked slightly upset that I wasn’t letting him in on the details but right now, the less people who knew the better, even if we were all friends and sharing the same bus for the next few months.

“Look, Jim?” I sat down on the floor next to him, my back against the bed behind us. “You can’t let this get you down. You’re just still a bit drunk from last night, that’s all. You’ll both realise this in a few hours once you’ve recovered a bit more.”

He remained staring at his hands. If I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn that I was sitting next to a corpse. “Geez Jim, look at the state of you! Come on, you need a shower.” With some effort I managed to get him onto his feet and walk with him to the en-suite. For a guy that is at least half a foot shorter than the guy he’s helping that’s a fucking achievement. “Get in the shower. There you go!” I swear it was like I was looking after a six-year old. “Now I’m going to stay here but I’ll keep my back turned, okay? Just yell if you need me.”

We had been in this situation many times; both of us in either position. I guess that’s what you get when you lived together for a few years, living the high life and getting pissed each night. The sound of the shower calmed me slightly, since at least now it would help to wake him up a little.

Or so I thought.

When I turned around again because I heard something funny I saw Jimmy curled up in the corner of the shower, not even out of his boxers yet. I couldn’t even tell if he was crying or if that was just the water from the shower trailing down his cheeks. Whatever it was I ended up joining him in the shower, water still running, and just sat with him, not knowing what to say. What could I say?

“Johnny?” My gaze slip upwards against the will of the water, scraping my hair from my eyes to see who had called my name.

Zack didn’t comment on the fact I was sitting fully clothed in the shower. “Did you get them?”

“Jess has gone.”

“She’s gone?” I stole a glance at Jim, who seemed to get even more depressed. I didn’t even know that it was possible for him to sink any lower. “How? I thought Brian went after her.”

“Well he did,” Zack began. “He followed her back to the bus where she just began screaming about how she wanted to leave while she packed her stuff away. He tried to stop her but she wasn’t listening. Then apparently they got in an argument because Brian said she was being stupid because she didn’t tell him what was wrong, so she just threw her bags on the floor and walked off. She had gotten into the taxi and drove off before he could stop her. She’s just gone and left everything behind.”

“She didn’t say where she was going?”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “What’s going on Johnny?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. I just… I just don’t understand it at all.”