I Swear I Love You

Brian’s POV

Fuck my wrist is killing me.

As soon as the set was over I dumped my guitar on the side and went straight for the dressing room, hoping that I could at least get a few minutes with an ice pack before the fan greeting. Unfortunately just as I reached in to get it from the fridge someone spoke behind me.

“So your wrist is fine, huh?” I turned to see Jess, leaning against the side of the door frame looking very unimpressed. “I’m guessing that ice pack you’re reaching for is just to cool you down, is that it?”

Knowing not to bother with some story, I simply sighed and stood up, the ice pack pressed against my throbbing wrist. “Yeah yeah, I get it Jess.” I sighed and slumped back against the couch. “I shouldn’t have played on it, blah blah blah.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” she replied, walking over and sitting down next to me. She carefully took my wrist and placed it on her lap, easing off the ice in order to look at it. “It looks pretty swollen to me.” Her fingers brushed my skin with the lightest touch possible. “Does it hurt?”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it doesn’t.” She shook her head and sighed, before reaching into a bag beside the couch and pulling out a small packet. “Here; I got you a support for your wrist.” She ripped open the plastic and slipped the support gently over the sprain, making sure that she didn’t agitate it too much as she was putting it on. “Is that alright?”

Oddly enough the instant she put it on the pain dulled; it didn’t go away completely mind, but it was certainly an improvement on before. “It’s great,” I said, smiling at her gratefully. “Where did you get this?”

“I just picked it up from the nearby shops during the show, it’s nothing,” she replied simply, before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a pair of my black fingerless gloves and easing them both on, taking greater care when pulling it over the support. “We can’t have your fans thinking something is wrong, now can we?”

Trailing my fingers over the back of my glove I couldn’t help but smile. “You’re too good to me Jess.”

“Anyone would do the same.”

I watched as she dumped the plastic packaging and bag into the bin before calling over to her. “So how are you and Jimmy?” Her shoulders dropped as she sighed. “Did something happen?”

“No… nothing’s happened,” she replied quietly, reaching over to the side table and tossing in some of the empty beer bottles scattered on top of it. “I haven’t talked to him actually.”

“You haven’t?”

“I haven’t.” She sighed. “He tried to talk to me when you were all getting off stage but I ignored him. I don’t think I can handle talking to him right now.”

I looked up at her, genuinely surprised. “You’re angry at him?”

“Well of course I am!” She threw the last bottle into the trash with a bit too much force, causing it to shatter as it hit the others already in the bag. “Look what he did to you!”

“I would have done the same.”

“You…” She trailed off, obviously doubting if I had said what she thought I had said. “What did you say?”

“I would have done the same.”

“You… But why? Why would you hurt a friend like that?”

“Because the person they hurt you care more about,” I murmured, my gaze dropping. “Anyone would do the same thing that he did. I would have if someone was to hurt you.”

“But…” She grew silent, not knowing what to say. Then again, she didn’t need to in the end.

“There you are!” Zack’s head poked in the doorway, followed quickly by the rest of him. He took one look at me and winced. “Fuck, you look even worse in this light. Rev really did a number on you, didn’t he?”

“Other than Matt, I don’t think anyone could have done better,” I replied.

“Well it’s not like you didn’t deserve it,” he said before turning his attention to Jess. “You alright Jess? I’ll give him a punch or two if you want.”

So much for friendship Vengeance.

Thankfully Jess laughed and shook her head. “Don’t worry its fine. I don’t want anyone else getting hurt over me.”

“Eh, if you want.” He shrugged. “By the way, do you think I could borrow your laptop again later?”

His eyes instantly avoided mine as I locked upon him- so that was why he offered it. Sell me up the river to speak to Coral… bastard.

“Sure, it’s no problem.”

He grinned. “Thanks Jess.” He swooped in and hugged her before glancing over at me. “Greeting’s in ten, so you might want to sort yourself out before you meet us there.”

“Yeah yeah,” I dismissed, picking myself off the couch. Stupidly I used both hands instead of just my right and instantly regretted it- only just about able to suppress the cry of pain to a faint curse. “Fuck!” I cradled my wrist carefully with my other hand, waiting for the pain to subside.

“You’ve done something to your wrist?” Zack had honed on me instantly. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” I replied through gritted teeth. Dropping my hand I began to push him out of the room with my good hand, not wanting to linger on the subject. The less people who knew, the less people there were to bug me about it. Hell if Larry found out…

“Look if you want to sit this out because you’ve hurt something then just tell me and I’ll let the others kno-”

“I’m fine!” I said with a raised tone, just to get the point across. I looked at Jess over my shoulder as I continued forcing Zack on his way. “I’ll see you later Jess.”

She smiled and nodded. “Look after yourself.”

--

All I could say was thank fuck that it was my left wrist that was busted because after about an hour of constant signing anything and everything, my right wasn’t feeling too good either. Plus it didn’t help that Holly had made good use of her backstage pass and was now tagging along with us back to the hotel nearby, her arms wrapped around my left which just meant her jostling my wrist every once in a while. She was blissfully unaware of the fact this was painful but I didn’t want to tell her to stop since I knew that the guys were only a few steps behind. Only Jess caught my grimace every time it happened but didn’t say anything either, merely dutifully walking beside me in silence. Next to her was an equally silent Jimmy, who even though he kept shooting me dark looks during the walk, didn’t say anything.

“So… Holly right?” Zack began, obviously just trying to spark up some kind of conversation. “What brings you to the show?”

“I just wanted to see you guys play,” she replied with a smile. In the same moment she managed to tighten her grip around my arm, slightly tugging on my wrist as a result. Clearly the wince went unnoticed. “Plus it isn’t long until Brian leaves again, so I want to spend as much time as possible with him.”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

She shook my arm when I didn’t answer- it took all my willpower not to just yank my arm free and yell at her for being an idiot. “You’ve missed me haven’t you? I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since we last met! You missed my 21st birthday you know.”

“That’s unfortunate,” I replied stoically, just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

“Is that all you can say?” She said accusingly, once again pulling on my arm. “You’re so mean! What happened to the nice, loving Brian I met at my best friend’s 18th?”

Here is the difference between Jess and her sister. Sure they were pretty similar across most aspects, looks, sense of humour; but there were some vastly different qualities between them, setting them worlds apart. For example, Jess was happily independent. She could easily live as well alone or with someone else. Holly, on the other hand, was exactly the opposite, which is why I guessed why she always had a new boyfriend every couple of weeks. She hated being alone, which then transformed into being extremely needy and from her arms wrapped around mine, clingy to boot.

“I have no idea. Could you not tug on my arm that much though?” I wriggled her grip looser. “Thanks.”

In response she took her arms away altogether. “What is wrong with you? You’re so moody!”

“I’m not moody.”

“Yes you are!” She accused, stopping the convoy of people with a stamp of her foot. With a sigh, I turned back to her. “You’ve been so cold to me ever since you came back.”

“No I haven’t.”

“Yes you have! Before you never would have asked me to stop. You always said how you liked me being close to you as we walked somewhere together.”

Sure I liked you close. In bed. “Look, Holly, I’m just tired okay? I’ve had nothing but shit all day, then playing the show, and now you having a go at me because I took my arm away from you. I just-” I sighed, reaching up with my right hand and rubbing at my temple. “I’m sorry.”I looked up at her. “I’m just so tired.”

At the beginning of my outburst she looked ready to storm off, but by the end of it her steely appearance had considerably lessened. She walked over to where I stood and pressed her hand to my cheek, ignorant of my flinch as she brushed against the bruise hiding underneath some cover-up. “Aw, I’m sorry. I should have known.” She reached out for my hand but I quickly snatched it away, knowing better to protect my busted wrist than to suffer in silence with it.

“Why don’t you take my other hand?” I offered it out to her. “This way you can walk next to your sister.”

She seemed ready to doubt my action but quickly thought better of it, obviously just happy to be able to hold hands with me. I exhaled with relief. That was close.

As we all began walking again Holly spoke up. “You know when we get back to the hotel room I’m going to look after you.” She leaned in close, lowering her voice to a seductive whisper. “I’m going to take real good care of you.”

Jess heard this and walked on ahead, Jimmy following swiftly in her footsteps. With her gone, Zack sidled up to me, grinning. “Going to look after you mate?” He chuckled. “I hope she takes real good care of you.”

My god if I could punch him…

“Come on Brian!” Holly picked up her pace and tugged on my hand impatiently to make me follow suit. “You leave in seven hours!”

With a light resistance I simply let her drag me off, just putting all my concentration into not letting free the groan I really wanted to give. I’m always up for a good time, but I’d rather it be with someone I actually wanted it to be with. Unfortunately, that very person was kind of unavailable so it looked like I would have to settle with her younger sister.

For fuck’s sake.