I Swear I Love You

Jess’ POV

I’m not sure exactly when the thunderstorm stopped since I must have fallen asleep with the headphones still on, because the next morning there was nothing but a beautiful sunshine greeting to wake me up- or rather, what could manage to squeeze through the cardboard box-size window upon the wall. In fact when I first woke up I initially thought I had suddenly lost my hearing; or rather I did until I frantically began to run around the bathroom as if praying would make it come back and ended up head first in the bath that had somehow been squeezed in the tiny room, my legs up in the air.

The first thing Jimmy did after he saw me was to take the headphones off, allowing him to let me know he was indeed laughing at me, just in case I didn’t get it from just visual effects alone. “You know Jess, for someone who has been to university you sure do come off as a bit of an idiot sometimes,” he chuckled, extending his hand to me as he helped me out of the bath. “I hope you can get your money back.”

I scowled. “Just because I went to university and you didn’t-”

Someone banged on the door. “Get the fuck out the bathroom! There are other people on this bus you know!”

Cautiously I walked over to the door, calling to the person on the other side. “Matt?”

“I need to take a fucking piss! Why are people always dicking about in the bathroom when I need to go?!”

I looked over at Jimmy. “How long has he been out there?”

Jimmy shrugged. “A while.”

His tone sounded painful. “Come on! This is like after Jess’ birthday all over again!”

“Oh shush you. If you wanted to get them out so badly then you should have just opened the door.” Val’s head emerged from around the now-open door. “He’s such a silly thing. Brian’s making pancakes by the way, so you might want to come out and get some before they’re all gone.”

“Might? Fuck that,” Matt growled, sliding past his girlfriend in order to swiftly grab the two of us and chuck us out of the bathroom. While he didn’t seem to care about the fact Val began to tell him that he should apologise he did have the audacity to yell to us to save him some pancakes. I found it funny, but I don’t think Val did too much.

“Jess!” Everyone chorused as I made my way back to the couches where we had slept last night, the bodies of the band (minus Matt and Brian), Val, Larry and Jason somehow impossibly squeezed onto the two pieces of furniture. Jimmy planted himself on the armchair of one of them while I just sat cross-legged on the floor.

I glanced over at Jason. “Where’s Snow?”

“He’s taken over from Matt driving the bus,” he replied. “By the way we’ve been driving non-stop we’ll probably be in Massachusetts by the evening.”

“That’s good,” Val interjected with a soft smile, not losing her expression in the slightest even when Matt picked her up and slid underneath her on the couch. “I don’t think I can stand sleeping on the couch again. All my muscles ache.”

“I’ll make them feel better babe,” Matt murmured, already dutifully beginning to lightly massage her shoulders.

“That’s so good,” Val moaned, closing her eyes as she succumbed to the relaxation technique. She didn’t bother to reopen them as she addressed Larry. “When’s Logan meant to be coming back?”

“The repair company said it will only take around a few days to order the glass in and fit it so he should be meeting us in time for Baltimore at the latest, but hopefully he’ll arrive a bit earlier than that.” He took a sip of the coffee in his hands before continuing. “Why? You did bring enough of your stuff with you, I hope?”

In the furore of what was the band trying to add some of our stuff to the already crammed luggage space on the other bus we didn’t exactly have a lot of time to choose what we wanted- in reality all we could do was stuff some clothes into a few light bags and hope that would tide us over until Logan’s return. Of course for Val, downsizing her wardrobe for the tour was bad enough but limiting it even further was just plain torture. She was already moaning that she could no longer mix and match her outfits back then- god knows what she will do now.

“Oh I did, but that just means there is room for some more.” She smiled; falling back onto Matt and easing open one of her eyes to look up at him. “I’ve heard Massachusetts has a great shopping mall nearby to the venue. Don’t you think it would be fun to go check it out?”

Matt paused for a few seconds to think. “You know, I left my wallet in my pants on the other bus,” he mused, before turning his attention back to Val. “But yeah, we can still check it out if you want.”

Her smile faltered. “No… it’s alright.”

“But I thought you wanted to go?”

She pouted. “Not anymore.”

Behind her, out of her sight, Matt flashed us all a grin. He knew all she wanted was a glorified shopping trip courtesy of Mr. Shadows, and by apparently randomly stating that he had no money was pretty much the deal breaker for her. Then again, I wondered how the hell she can even believe that, especially not when he paid for dinner before when we broke the window and put that ‘lost’ wallet back into the pants he wore onto the roadies bus later.

“Hey- isn’t anyone going to help me here?” Brian appeared in the doorway with an unimpressed look, which just happened to deepen when everyone saw the flour coating his face and hair and started to laugh. “It’s hard making pancakes for everyone you know!”

Val smirked at him. “Feeling a little wounded that no one is helping?”

He scowled, knowing clearly what she was getting at. Other than me, she was the only one who knew about his wrist injury. She was also the one who gave him the final ultimatum that if it wasn’t healed by Massachusetts that he would have to tell the others, or face Val telling them now. I would have liked to threaten him with the same but I just didn’t have the heart.

“I’ll help,” I offered, dusting off my shorts as I clambered back to my feet. “Jimmy will help too, won’t you?”

His gaze snapped to mine. “Come again?”

“You’ll help me with Brian, won’t you?”

“With what?”

“Making breakfast.”

“Oh come on Jess, Rev can’t cook,” Brian interjected. “Let him be.”

Jimmy simply agreed- probably because he just couldn’t be bothered to help. “It’s true.”

“Well you used to make sandwiches enough,” I grumbled, shooting the still-seated male a look as Brian dragged me off. “You’re going to get the burnt pancakes.”

--

“Sorry.”

“Well you certainly were right about the burnt thing.”

Jimmy and I were staring up at the translucent trail of smoke as it streamed skyward through one of the vents built into the roof, with everyone else beside us bar the roadies doing the same. The absent brothers actually appeared a few minutes after the trail had subsided, both supporting fire extinguishers.

“I think that’s a no on future cooking,” Snow stated, resting his extinguisher beside the bus as his brother did the same. “Looks like it is micro-meals for the rest of the tour.”

The vein on Larry’s left temple twitched; I took this as a message to edge away until I was on Jimmy’s other side, using him as a wall between us. My human defence however didn’t notice this and just laughed. “Well, this sucks, doesn’t it?” He pulled me back as I tried to creep away further from Larry, keeping me in prime distance of his annoyed aura that threatened to suffocate me. “Looks like you’re not going to be a very good housewife are you?”

“Give the girl a break Jimmy,” Val interjected, obviously seeing the progressively worsening expression I held. “She didn’t mean to burn the pancakes-”

“Or set them and part of the kitchen on fire I’m sure,” he chuckled. As my head dropped from embarrassment he just gave me a light-hearted shake on my shoulder. “Cheer up Jess; we know it’s not- well, it is your fault, but it’s alright. We’ll have our bus back soon.”

“Unless of course something happens to that one as well,” Larry muttered darkly as he walked off, already pulling out his cell to make a call. “You are just lucky we’ve already made-up enough time to Massachusetts that this set back won’t hurt our arrival time to the venue much.”

“Larry hates me, doesn’t he?” I asked miserably, ducking out from Jimmy’s arm so that I could sit on the steps. “I’m surprised he hasn’t kicked me out back to Australia; I’ve been nothing but trouble lately.”

“Is depressive Jess coming out to play again?” I looked up to see Brian coming over, leaning his back against the open door. The support could be seen just poking out from underneath his long-sleeved shirt, but unless you knew it was there you wouldn’t guess it was anything different other than the material of his clothing. “You don’t need to worry about it Jess; it’s not like we ever cooked anything on these anyway. Hell, that’s problem the reason why it went up in flames.”

“I know that,” I sighed. “But sometimes I swear it feels like I’m a trouble magnet.”

“Well you are.”

I blinked up at him, surprised at his agreement. Normally you’d expect someone to reassure you and dismiss your claims, not help enforce them. “I am?”

“Of course,” he replied. “Since the first time I saw you I knew it. Don’t you remember how I met you?”

I laughed at the memory. “I was crying; you came over to see what was wrong.”

“And why was that?”

“I had fallen off the swings and scratched up my knees.”

“And why did you fall?”

“Because I was trying to swing too high the chain holding it got tangled briefly with the branches nearby so I got stuck and fell off,” I answered. “You gave me a piggyback to our teacher because I couldn’t walk.”

“And then what happened on our first day of 1st grade?”

“Are we just going to recount all of the times something bad has happened to me?”

He grinned. “Just humour me.”

“I tripped and managed to fall down three sets of stairs.”

“And the day you finally got your cast off your arm after it healed?”

“I fell down them again and broke my leg.”

“Half way into 2nd grade?”

“Oh come on,” I complained, “I’m not going to recount all the times I’ve hurt myself or done something stupid.”

He crouched down to my level. “So why are you moaning now then?” Stepping back, he held his hand aloft to me. “It is fine, so don’t start fretting about nothing. No one is hurt so everything’s good.” He pulled me back to my feet when I curled my hand around his. “Plus you are like the number one source of entertainment on this bus- you should have your own reality TV show or something.”

“And call it what? Fawn’s Falls?” I replied cynically, shoving him playfully in the side.

“I’d watch it,” Johnny interjected, merely laughing when I glared at him. “Although, shouldn’t it be called Sullivan’s Slips instead?” The metal on my finger suddenly became colder, as if to remind me it still had pride of place there. “After all, you haven’t been a Fawn in about three months.”

My smile dropped slightly. “I guess you’re right… I haven’t been.”

Through another mistake.

“Well who is up for eating out then?” Brian quickly piped up after stealing a worried glance at my depressive state flaring once again. “We’re stuck here for a while anyway so might as well make the best of it.” He looked over at Blue. “What did you say this place was again?”

“Petersburg, Virginia. We’re about ten hours off Worcester at the moment.”

“Know of anything to do here?”

Blue scratched the back of his head in thought. “Well this place is more of museums and industrial stuff than anything, so not really for you lot. The state capitol, Richmond, is close, but I wouldn’t go there.”

I looked up at him. “How come?”

“Can get a bit rough there sometimes,” he explained. “My friend went there once when he was going all over in his gap year and got mugged. Apparently a lot of that goes on there, so I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“Why don’t we just stay here? We can just chill in a restaurant or something,” Val suggested. “I doubt we’ll be here long anyway.”

To her side, Matt shrugged. “Seems like a good idea to me. Good with you?”

The guys all shrugged, chorusing in with responses like ‘good with me’ and ‘why not?’ Brian then turned to me. “How about it Jess? Up for exploring?”

I simply followed suit. “Sure.”

--

“What a sweet little place this is!” Val said happily, already halfway through her sandwich. “Who would have thought there would be this gem in this little town?”

It took passing the same place about three times until we finally wandered to a little café-style place called Longstreet’s, which basically sold sandwiches, salads and something called Fripes, which were essentially just chips.

“I’m so going to have these as food at my wedding,” I proclaimed after a small fight with Zacky over the last of the homemade chips and winning. “They are so good.”

“What wedding?” Zacky huffed. “You’re already married to him.” He pointed at Jimmy, shooting him a dark glare.

“What the hell have I done?”

“Slept with the enemy,” Zack hissed, obviously not letting go of my victory.

I snorted. “If you’re that bothered, then go order some more.”

“I didn’t bring any more money with me.” He pouted. “I left it on the bus.”

“Oh dear, what a shame,” I replied uncaringly. “How unfortunate for you.”

“It wouldn’t have been if you didn’t eat the last one.”

“You’re not going to let it go are you?”

He shook his head, crossing his arms defiantly. “Nope. Or I can just forget it and instead remind you how I didn’t get my pancakes this morning because someone decided to set it all on fire-”

“Oh I’ll go get you some more!” I interrupted, pushing off the seat in time with everyone’s laughs at his victory this time. “Can you at least pass me my bag then?”

Zacky grinned as he handed it to me. “Thanks Jess.”

I merely scowled at him in reply.

--

A couple of hours later we were done and were finally back on the bus after it had been aired out to get rid of the burning smell, along with plenty of police caution tape over the stove courtesy of the Berry brothers for a laugh. However while the others had a great time and were still on a happiness high from the brief excursion I was currently spending it laying across the length of the couch, clutching vainly at my stomach. My grip tightened each time the bus gave the slightest tremor during its movement, just hoping that if the need arose that I would clear the short distance to the toilet in time.

“Hey honey, drink this,” Val murmured. She crouched down in front of me and pressed a glass of cool water to my lips, keeping it there during my feeble attempt at drinking. I had to love the position I was in right now, not only was I feeling extremely sick to my stomach so that I couldn’t move I also felt the need to drink anything and everything, but I couldn’t move to do it. It was a vicious cycle; if I drank then I had to move, which made my nausea grow. If I didn’t move then my thirst would increase to the point where I had to drink anyway, so either way I was pretty screwed.

She set the glass aside and gently pushed back the hair that had fallen over my eyes. “You’re not feeling well are you?”

I tried to laugh and ultimately stopped, feeling my stomach disagree with the idea almost instantly. “Looks like that place wasn’t such a gem after all.”

She frowned. “But Zacky ate those chips as well didn’t he? He’s alright.”

“Well it’s just my luck isn’t it-” I cut myself off to groan as the bus hit a particular big bump and shifted suddenly before moving my hand from my stomach to across my eyes. “Brian’s right though.”

“About what?”

“I am a trouble magnet.” With a sigh and probably a good amount of stupidity I pushed myself to a seated position, despite Val’s protests not to. Of course this was at the wrong time since bad luck decided to follow me here in the form of Jimmy suddenly jumping on me, obviously assuming I was now fine since I was sitting up. I wasn’t, but thankfully I could dart out from underneath him quickly enough to the bathroom to place the lunch from earlier in the toilet and not over him.

When I finally returned he was sitting on the edge, looking very sorry for himself. “Sorry Jess.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I tried not to grimace as I sat back down, the feeling of being hunched over not helping the stomach situation in the slightest. Instead I just resorted to laying full length across the couch again, resting my head on Jimmy’s lap. “Sorry, I’m going to have to use you for a pillow for a while.”

“It’s alright,” he replied, glancing down at me. “You really look like shit.”

I laughed feebly. “That’s certainly one way of putting it.” These laughs soon descended into groaning as I felt my stomach turn again, squeezing my eyes shut as I buried my face into Jimmy’s knees. “This isn’t fair!”

“I know it isn’t Jess,” he murmured sadly, sweeping his hand across my brow before suddenly stopping and keeping it there. “Man Jess! You’re well hot!”

I snickered. “Thanks.”

“You know what I meant. Have you checked your blood sugar lately?”

“I did earlier.”

“Earlier as in…?”

“Before we went off to look for somewhere to eat.”

“So in other words, no?” He moved his hand to my shoulder to keep me from rolling off as he leant over the side, nudging me with my bag. “Come on then. Test away.”

“I can’t be bothered.” I simply stuck my hand out. “You do it.”

“Come on Jess, I can’t-”

“Yes you can,” I interrupted. “I give you permission.”

He sighed, but didn’t push it further. I didn’t even feel the minor prick in my finger from the needle, but I couldn’t as easily ignore Jimmy’s cries of accusations just after the unlucky beep came from the machine.

“No wonder you’ve been feeling so shitty! You haven’t been taking care of yourself properly, have you?” He scolded as I tried to look away. Unfortunately you can’t exactly avoid the gaze of someone you were lying on, so I had to just take his disappointment for the next few minutes.

“Coming from you, Mr. Rock Star?” I replied cynically. “You’ve pumped your body full of all kinds of things, so what right do you have to complain about what I do?”

“Every right.”

“And through what logic?” I snorted.

“Through the logic that you know that if I told anyone- especially Gates-” I cringed at him bringing Brian into it. He would definitely have a go at me, and it wouldn’t be a nice little warning like Jimmy just gave me. His rants are worse than what my parents would give me. “-would send a shitwagon at you a lot larger than mine.”

I sighed. “I know they would.”

“Too right you know.”

Pushing myself to an upright position with a little help from Jimmy I outstretched my hand for my bag, getting my insulin ready with a slow hand. “I’m glad I’m the odd one in my family.” I pushed the needle into my arm, wincing slightly as I felt the cool sensation flood underneath the skin.

“The odd one in your family?”

“Yeah.” I pulled off the needle and placed it into a small plastic box for my used ones, keeping them safe in there until I could properly dispose of them. “I’m glad that my sister doesn’t have to go through this.” I chuckled. “She’s scared of needles you see. She still doesn’t like watching me do this.”

“Oh.”

Not knowing exactly how to respond to that Jimmy simply allowed the silence to creep up on us, until fifteen minutes later he gently nudged me in the side with my monitor. His head peered over at the screen as it finally came through, smiling at the positive result. “At least it’s back to normal now.” He replaced it in my bag and then pushed that back under the couch, where it was safe from everyone. “How do you feel Jess?”

“A lot better,” I replied. “Although I’m dying for a drink.”

Jimmy got to his feet, ready to walk off. “I’ll go get you some water-”

“Not that kind of drink,” I chuckled, latching onto his arm as I joined him in the gangway.

He frowned. “Are you sure you should be having one? I mean you were basically hyperglycaemic just then.”

“Well yeah, just then,” I said. “But I’m not anymore.” I ducked around him so that I was in front, pulling gently on his hand. “Come on; you know if you don’t get me one I’ll just get someone else to. Snow or Blue would.”

He sighed with exasperation but let me pull him along regardless. “Fine. On one condition though.”

“What’s that?”

He grinned. “I get to join you.”