I Swear I Love You

Brian’s POV

What a dream…

While stifling a large yawn I rolled my legs off the side, rubbing at my tired eyes before running my hands through my head. I’m guessing the fact that I realised I was actually butt naked once my eyes hit my clothes on the floor and the fact we were in Larry’s room out back that hinted that it wasn’t just a dream, but what made it crystal clear was probably when I turned around and saw Jess beside me. Yeah, she didn’t have any clothes on either.

“Shit…” My heart was hammering in my chest so fast I could have sworn I was having some sort of heart attack. I mean I just slept with my best friend! Jess shifted under the covers then, resting her arm on top of them and exposing her gold wedding band. If I wasn’t having a heart attack back then, I certainly was now.

Not only did I just sleep with my best friend, but I slept with my best friend who is married to one of my other best friends.

My head hit my hands fast as I groaned. I didn’t know whether to feel good or bad about it. Hell, I know one thing that was good about it…

Perhaps from my minor despair Jess happened to wake up, rolling in the opposite direction away from me to sit on the edge. From her surprised outburst when she pushed away the cover I guessed that she didn’t remember last night. “Where the hell are my clothes?!” Her hands quickly grabbed at the cover and wrapped it around herself, which since I was partially sitting on caused her to turn and look at me.

“Brian?!” She squeaked, her eyes growing wide. “Where are your clothes?!” Her eyes dropped to her own naked figure, covered only by a thin sheet. “We… we didn’t…?”

By this point I had at least remembered the first law of decency; put your underwear on with a lady present, regardless if that lady happens to be one you just fucked and also happens to be your best friend since kindergarten.

“Erm…”

She groaned. “That means we did! Oh no!” She scrambled off the bed, taking the sheet with her. Considering it was white it didn’t do much with covering her up, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her. “How stupid! Oh god why did I drink…” She trailed off, stopping as if she suddenly thought of something. “Wait.” She turned to me, an accusatory look in her eyes. “You didn’t drink anything, did you?”

I guessed my silence was my answer.

“So you know what happened right?”

“I…” I took a few steps back, not knowing what to say. What could I say? “Don’t you remember?”

She bit her lip. “No… Oh God! This is so my fault…”

Watching her how she was now was making me wonder how the hell she hadn’t turned on me yet. Hell, I didn’t drink…my actions weren’t influenced by anything. It was all me.

“I can’t believe I’ve done this! I’m so sorry Bri-!” She shrieked as she fell on top of me after accidentally standing on the sheet wrapped around her, the sheet falling open to expose her naked body- not that I hadn’t already seen it.

The door opened behind us then, with someone beginning to speak but cutting off; “What the hell is going on- woah! Okay, I’m going.”

Their interruption seemed to distract Jess as she slowly pulled away, closing the sheet once again around her body as she slumped on the edge of the bed. She just sat there staring at her hands, almost as if she didn’t know what to do.

“Jess?”

She sighed, shook her head, and then turned to me. “Can you pass me my clothes?”

“Erm… sure.”

She pulled them on in a slow silence, almost as if she were already walking the infamous walk of shame like back in university. When she finally pulled her top back over her head she gravitated towards the door, resting her hand on the handle as she spoke.

“The others will know… won’t they?” Her shoulders dropped. “I guess I better go check my blood sugar… with the… exercise and whatever…”

Her hand began to depress on the handle when I called out to her again. “Jess-”

All it took was one word to silence me. “Don’t.” And with that, she slipped back out into the real world, escaping the false dreams that we had made here.

At least it was good while it lasted.
I sat there for perhaps half an hour before the thought to put on the rest of my clothes actually came to me; retreating back to the bed for another ten before I finally followed Jess out. However when I finally rejoined the others- minus Jimmy who was still pretty much down for the count- all I was greeted with was a number of ‘you just did what I thought you just did, didn’t you?’ looks as I slumped into the last space next to Zack.

“Larry’s going to be pissed,” Zack sang, laughing I grumbled.

“Shut it.”

“So you’re not denying it then?”

“I’m not saying anything.”

He grinned. “Definitely not denying it.” He folded his arms across his chest and chuckled. “You basically just slept with a married woman.”

I scowled. “A paper certificate doesn’t mean anything. They were drunk for fuck’s sake!”

“Still official though. I wonder what Rev will think…”

I instinctively clutched at my wrist. It wasn’t that bad anymore, but I could still feel the dull throb every once in a while. “I’d rather not stir up that shit train again.”

Val looked at me funny. “You can’t keep it a secret Brian. He’s your friend. He’ll understand. After all, you did say before that they weren’t technically married.”

“Yeah, but he’s also nearly killed me because of Jess before,” I retorted. “If you don’t want to finish the tour, then fine, I’ll tell him, since no doubt he’ll wipe the floor with me after this.” I sighed, reaching up with my hand to rub at my eyes. “Where’s Jess anyway?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. She hasn’t come down here.”

“She hasn’t?”

“Nope. I think she’s in the bathroom.” She paused for a few moments; leaning forward slightly before retreating back and continuing. “And on the phone if I can hear rightly. What are you doing now?”

I turned back from where I had started to walk off. “Going to see Jess.”

“Can’t you just leave her be for once? The way you and Jimmy are flying around that girl I’m surprised she doesn’t have her own gravity force.”

“I can’t leave her on her own.”

“You don’t need to.” She jumped to her feet. “I’ll go see her.” I opened my mouth to protest, but she quickly shushed me into silence. “This needs a girl’s touch.” She pushed me back onto the couch. “Have fun with your other friends for once! Sometimes I wonder if you even remember them with Jess around!”

After she repeated her command to stay when I tried to move she then turned on her heel and left, leaving me looking very solemn in the wake of my band mates.

This was going to be fun to explain.

--

Jess’ POV

This was going to be fun to explain.

“Pick up please…” I whispered desperately to myself, pleading vainly to the calling out device in my hand. “Please pick up…” The ringing tone continued until finally, finally, I got an answer.

“H-” They paused, concentrating on restraining their gulping breaths before continuing. “Sorry, had to run to get the phone. Who is this?”

“Coral?”

“…Jessie? Is that you?”

I sniffed; I couldn’t let myself break down now. I just can’t believe that I… “Ye-ah… that’s me.”

“Honey… what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong!” I chuckled weakly. “What makes you say that?”

“Because why else would my Americano girl be ringing me during work?”

“You’re at work?!” I cried, biting my lip. “Oh Cor, I didn’t know! Sorry, don’t worry about it-”

She cut me off. “Jess!” She sighed. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t expect you to just stop working for me.”

“Jess.” The sounds of a chair scraping across the floor came through the call. “Honey, I think being the daughter of the family that owns and built this place gives me the right to call in a break to speak to my best friend who is off in some foreign country on some rock star tour.”

“Some rock star tour? ” I quoted in a mocking tone. “Like you can say anything about that.”

“And why can’t I?”

“I know you’ve been talking to Zacky all this time. What’s going on there?”

Her voice suddenly went up a few octaves. “There’s nothing!”

“So the chat logs on my laptop were lying?” I teased. “For you to make the effort even with the time differences-”

“Oh shush you,” she interjected. “Anyway, this call isn’t about me. You rang me, so clearly something is up so… what is it?”

“I… I just don’t know what to do.”

“What to do? About what?” Her tone sounded disapproving. “What have you done?”

“I…” My heart began to race just thinking about it, causing my hand to tremble as I ran it through my hair. “It’s just…” Unable to hold it in the tears began to flow freely from my eyes, hugging the curvature of my cheeks before hitting the bathroom floor, with my knees soon following.

“Jessie?” She was alarmed now. “Jessie! Talk to me honey!”

My voice was nothing more than a whisper now. “I really wish you were here right now.”

“Oh honey!” As my eyes squeezed shut I could imagine her stooping down to me and wrapping her arms around me in a large hug… but I couldn’t feel it. Of course I couldn’t; she was on the other side of the world. “If I was there I would wrap you up tight and offer you some of my hot chocolatey goodness!” She sighed. “Honey, whatever you’ve done, I’m sure it’ll be alright.”

“But it won’t,” I replied miserably.

“Jessie…” I could hear the frown she must have been wearing through the tone of her voice. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“I… It’s just…” I stopped, shaking my head to myself. “I-”

It’s just that I accidentally slept with my best friend when I was drunk and I’m currently married to his best friend.

“Don’t worry honey, if you can’t tell me, then that’s fine,” she said soothingly. “Tell me about this tour you’ve been on.”

I laughed weakly. “Hasn’t Zacky already told you about it?”

She tutted. “I didn’t ask for you to tell me what others have said, I want to know what you say.”

“Well… what do you want to know?”

“Where you’ve been, who you’re with, what you’ve done…”

“…What I’ve done?”

“Well, if you want to tell me. Okay, easier question. Where are you off to next?”

“Worcester, Massachusetts.”

“How long are you there?”

“A couple of days, then we’re heading off to New York for a show on Thursday.”

“This Thursday?”

“Uh huh.”

“There’s not really much space between dates, is there?”

“Unfortunately not,” I agreed. “Why do you ask?”

She chuckled. “Just checking up on where my Americano girlie is going. You better bring me a nice top from New York.” She paused; for a moment I thought she had gone. “It doesn’t sound like you’re crying anymore- that’s good.”

I gently brushed against my eyes- I wasn’t.

“When are you back anyway? I’m drinking with the flies over here.”

I laughed- I hadn’t heard that in a while. “The tour doesn’t finish for another month or so and I’ve got a few things to do before coming back so…”

“So…?”

“I don’t know. January maybe?”

“January?” She squeaked. “Are you having me on?” She sighed. “I guess I’ll just have to do something then.”

“Do something?”

“Jess?” A light knock sounded on the door. “Jess? Are you alright? It’s Val.”

“Val…?” I echoed, momentarily forgetting that Coral was on the phone.

“Val? Who’s that?”

“Can I come in?” Val’s muffled voice asked.

“She’s a friend,” I quickly muttered before calling out to the door. “Yeah, go ahead! It’s unlocked.”

Val slipped in silently, closing the door behind her before crouching down next to me and mouthing a question. “Who’s on the phone?”

“Coral,” I mouthed back before speaking once again to my girlfriend down under. “Sorry about that.”

“No worries!” She responded brightly. “It seems there is no need for me, so I’ll talk to you another time, okay honey?”

I frowned. “You don’t have to run off you know.”

“I know, but I think I’ve been taking enough of a break,” she chuckled. “I am the star of the dolphin show after all. It’s Thursday you’re in New York, right?”

“Yeah. We’ll probably get there by mid-Wednesday though to set up in the hotel.”

“A hotel? You lucky duck. Do you know which one you’re booked in?”

“No, sorry.” My forehead creased in thought. “Why?”

“No reason.”

“Why?” I demanded again. “You’re not going to do anything, are you?”

She laughed again. “What can I do? I’m 14 hours in the future!”

“Exactly. That means you can know what’s going to happen before it does.”

“You’re such a funny thing,” she said. “Anyway I really have to go now, so have fun! Jade and Olly send their love to.”

I smiled at their names. “Send them mine too.”

“Will do!”

A few laughs escaped my lips as I stared down at the disconnected image on my cell. “She’s such a crazy thing.”

Val echoed my expression. “Sounds like Coral has cheered you up then.”

“Yeah.”

She shifted slightly. “I almost feel bad for wanting to know what had happened.”

“Like you need to ask,” I replied stoically. “I can tell you know.”

“Tell what?”

“That you know. I don’t mind, really I don’t, but it’s just-” I sighed, shaking my head. “Complicated.”

“Complicated in the sense that you’ve just had a drunken hook-up with your best friend while being currently married to one of his best friends?” She asked. “I can see why.” Her expression then brightened with a chuckle as she leaned over and shook my knee. “We’ve all been there. How do you think Matt and I started?”

I looked up at her in surprise. “You and Matt?”

She nodded. “It was at my sister’s and my birthday party. Well- beach party.” She giggled at the memory. “My mom would have died if she found out we had gone out drinking that night. Then again, if she found out what Matt and I got up to that night it would’ve been a lot worse. Oh waking up the morning after on the sand…”

“You stayed on the beach the whole night?”

“Yeah… it was quite romantic really. Although I’m not sure the runners in the morning appreciated the view as they went past us,” she chuckled. “We all make mistakes, but it’s what you do with them that will make them good or bad.” She smiled. “After all, you’re only human.”

My gaze dropped as a ghost of her smile appeared on my lips. “Yeah… I guess you’re right.”

“Come on then.” Val was already standing, her hand outstretched to me in offering.

“Come on where?” Despite my answer I still accepted and stood up beside her. “It’s not like we can go anywhere- we’re not there yet.”

“Well no,” she began, her hand tugging lightly on mine. “But we can get out of this crappy bathroom. And then as soon as we hit Worcester…”

“…And then?”

She grinned. “We begin therapy.”