I Swear I Love You

Despite everything that happened on the way to Montreal the next few shows went by without a hitch, and if Jess’ happy disposition had anything to do with it, the idea of the drummer’s love had been set aside. It was a double-edged blade- the fact it no longer seemed to be on her mind meant she no longer felt reserved whenever she around Jimmy, but likewise his declaration had gone ignored. However if he was a bit put out he never seemed to show it, but considering neither Val or Zacky disclosed to the others the details of the bathroom conversation, it was unlikely he would know to feel down in the first place. Comparatively on the other hand, Johnny had no need to feel either happiness or sadness, but was for some reason excited at the prospect of hitting Chicago.

“Geez Christ, have you got a fire in your ass or something?” Matt remarked as Johnny wriggled on the seat opposite again. “You haven’t sat still since we left Sauget.”

“What?” He turned to the singer. “Did you say something?”

Matt simply rolled his eyes and shook his head, deciding that the answer he’d get wouldn’t be worth the repetition. “Don’t worry about it dude.”

“Oh.” Johnny gave a simply shrug and oblivious to Matt’s exasperation, wriggled again. “When are we hitting the hotel? We can’t be far off now.”

“Well we’re in Chicago now, so I doubt it’ll be too long,” Zacky interjected.

“Good.”

Ironically enough literally a minute later the bus slowed down to a halt inside a hotel parking lot, marking their stay for the next night. “Alright, we’re here!” Logan appeared in the doorway of the entertainment lounge, grinning at the mess of bodies lying across each other on the two couches. He turned to Matt, a smug look on his face. “Told you I could gun it in four and a half.”

In response to this Matt slipped his phone out from his back pocket and lit up the time on his screen. “Nah, you’re ten minutes out.”

Logan decidedly stuck his tongue out. “Just because you couldn’t have done it.”

“Well we’ll never know,” Matt chuckled, rocking onto his feet and stretching his arms above his head. “’Though I’m glad we’re here. Christ has had something up his ass for the whole time we’ve been on the road.”

Logan looked around. “Where is he?”

“He’s right…” He paused momentarily after realising that the young bassist was no longer where he last looked. “I dunno.” Matt turned to look at the others. “Did you see where Christ went?”

The majority of them shrugged apart from Jess, who also unlike the rest of them, was still sitting on the couch. “I found him.” She pointed out of the window behind her. “Is that who I think it is?”

The group managed to clamber around the tiny window so that they could all see out just in time to see Lacey and Johnny lovingly embrace. Being the typical females Val and Jess ‘awhed’ appropriately, while the guys just seemed to look bewildered at the scene before them. Everyone knew that Johnny had hinted at Lacey joining them on the tour, but considering nothing had happened since that meeting a couple of months ago and nothing had been said since it was just pushed to the back of everyone’s mind.

A few moments later a beaming Johnny reappeared on the bus with his equally happy partner hanging on his arm, their joyful emotions bouncing back and forth between them. “You guys remember Lacey, right?” Johnny said as she waved at them. “She was at Jess’ birthday party in the summer.”

“I wondered when you were going to be joining us on this tour,” Matt remarked, before gesturing to Johnny. “I guess I found out what was burning your ass back then.”

Lacey smiled. “I had to finish work up before I came down; my winter break isn’t actually until mid-December but I was allowed out so long as I did the work first,” Lacey explained. “Otherwise I would have missed the whole tour.”

“And we didn’t want that,” Johnny quipped, turning his head to the side to press his lips tenderly to her forehead. “But I couldn’t ask Lace to come down if it meant she would miss out on her work. I mean, when I’m hanging up my guitar she’s the one that’s going to be earning the big bucks as a fancy pants lawyer!”

“And what, all the money from this-” She gestured at the luxurious tour bus with her arm. “-would be non-existent at that time?”

Johnny simply grinned. “Well…”

Lacey rolled her eyes at him. “I think we may need to cut down on your partying before that happens then.”

“I don’t think you could even if you tried,” Val interjected. “I’ve tried with Matt; it doesn’t work with this lot. You’ll grow to get used to it.” She sneaked a sideways glance at her partner, who slid a mischievous smile in her direction. “Eventually.”

“You love it,” Matt said cheerfully, planting a sloppy kiss on her forehead which she fervently rubbed off after. “So you with us until the end of tour?”

“Me?” Lacey asked, just to ascertain that Matt was in fact talking to her. “Yes; if you’ll have me, that is.”

“Ah, the more the merrier I say!” Matt replied, “Although it’s starting to feel like a motel here with all the girls coming and going.”

“Girls coming and going?” Lacey echoed, looking to Johnny for an explanation. “There are others?”

“That sounded worse than I meant,” Matt quickly interjected, obviously not wanting to get Christ into trouble by making it sound like he had been taking random girls home. “It’s only really been one person, and she was here for Vengeance. She flew back a while ago.”

“Oh?” She peered over at Zacky, shadowed slightly by Jimmy’s looming height. “I didn’t know you were with anyone. Unless they weren’t able to be at Jess’ party…?”

Zacky laughed, scratching at the back of his head with a sheepish look. “Well, that’s one way to put it.”

“Well who is she?” Lacey asked eagerly. “I mean, that is if you don’t mind saying obviously.”

“Nah, it’s alright. Her name’s Coral.” He gestured to Jess. “One of Jess’ friends.”

She turned to Jess for her next question. “Did she come over from Australia with you?”

“Coral? Oh no.” Jess shook her head. “I came over on my own.”

“So she lives here anyway?”

Zacky stepped in. “Coral lives in Australia. She flew over here for the New York show.”

“Especially for the show?”

“Er…”

“Coral actually flew over just to meet up with our lovely blushing guitarist here,” Jess stated, relishing in the darkening progression of Zacky’s cheeks. “They had quite the… connection as it were.”

Lacey instantly broke out into a sly grin, a single eyebrow arching upwards at him. “Sounds like you had some fun with her then.”

“S’alright,” Zacky mumbled. “I’m going to…” His eyes darted towards the exit. “I’m going to go for a smoke.” He wriggled through the throng of bodies and disappeared quickly down the stairs.

Lacey chuckled lightly to herself. “Should I not have asked?”

“Nah.” Johnny gently rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “It’s alright. He knows you don’t mean any harm.”

“He must really like that Coral person then,” Lacey said decidedly.

“What makes you say that?”

She smiled. “Just the way he acted when she was mentioned. You can tell these things you know.”

“He looked normal to me.”

She swivelled in his embrace until their eyes met, a soft smile caressing her lips. “That’s why I’m here to do it for you.” She rolled up on her toes to clear the small difference in their heights to press her lips to his. “You know. It is my duty as your girlfriend to pick up the slack.”

“If only you could pick up a bass guitar,” Brian sighed playfully, earning a swift punch in the arm from Johnny and a few light-hearted chuckles from the others. “Only kidding Christ!” He rubbed at his arm with a slightly pained look. “Geez! I need that to play ya know!”

“Like that even hurt, ya big girl,” Johnny teased. “God, someone would think that you’ve gone soft over this tour for some reason! Where has the-” He air-quoted the next art with his fingers. “-‘badass Brian’ gone, eh? Sounds like we’ve got a Brianna in Nike trainers instead of a Brian-”

“You are so lucky you can hide behind Lacey otherwise I’d have your ass out in the parking lot right now,” Brian growled. His scowl was cut deep but it was clear to everyone there he wouldn’t actually do anything. “At least I don’t need heels to be the same height as the average chick.”

“Well at least I don’t-”

“Hey! Calm it!” Matt raised his voice to be heard over their bickering. “You’re acting like you’re four or something.”

Both of them simply pouted, to which Matt shook his head and sighed. “Fucking hell…”

For the most part Jess had simply sat in silence, but it was the smallest, most insignificant sound that made all attention turned to her. Brian was closest, soon noticing the small beep they had all heard in the lapsed silence had come from the small machine balanced in her palm. “Was that a good beep, or a bad beep?”

She glanced upwards at him. “An in-between one.”

“In-between?” No one apart from Lacey seemed to notice how Jimmy’s shoulders tensed as Brian sat down next to Jess on the couch in order to get a look at her reading. “So…”

She shrugged. “It’s fine. I should probably get something though.” She hopped to her feet, with Brian close behind. He seemed to lean close to her, which caused Jimmy’s hands to ball into fists. Once again, only Lacey seemed to notice. Everyone else was preoccupied in the obvious movements, not the subtle ones. She guessed that it was just her psychology major coming into good use.

“There should be a restaurant or something like that in the hotel,” Brian said. “I’ll get you something there-”

“I’ll come with.” There was a hint of surprise as Jimmy suddenly invited himself along. “I’m starved- I need something to eat too.” Lacey knew this was just a classic protective manoeuvre- keep yourself close to the thing you want so you know it’s safe. In this case however, the something happened to be a girl going by the name of Jess. If she hadn’t been updated with the story about the tangible relationship that girl had with those two by Johnny, she wouldn’t have suspected anything.

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Matt said, deciding to include himself in this eating excursion. “I’m good for a munchout.” He glanced sideways to Val. “You coming my darling?”

She reached up and held onto the hand that dangled just past her shoulder. “I think I could pack something away.”

He turned to the newly reunited couple. “What about you two?”

Johnny curled his arm tighter around Lacey’s waist, drawing her body to him. “I think we might wander around for a bit.”

In short, that was an underlying message that they had been separated far too long, and in that was another underlying message of… well, they wanted to have sex.

This didn’t go unnoticed by the guys either. “Alright, then it’s a table for six. I’ll guess Vengeance will want to come along.” Matt shrugged. “Might as well just head on over now.”

The others nodded in agreement and Matt, Val and Johnny turned to leave. The former two had cleared the steps but Johnny hung back after realising the slight resistance on his grasp upon Lacey’s hand as she stayed, seemingly lost in her thoughts.

“Babe?” She squeaked out in alarm as he gently placed his hand on her arm. “Are you alright?”

“Oh sorry honey, spaced out a little there,” she said with a smile, patting his hand with hers fondly. “I’ll be out in a bit; I just need to ask Jess something.”

Jess looked up at her in surprise. “Ask me something?”

“Only a little something,” Lacey reassured, before turning back to her slightly glum boyfriend and giving him a light peck. “I’ll be quick; I promise.”

“Alright,” he relented, giving her a tight squeeze and murmuring, “be quick though; I’ve only just got you back,” before reluctantly following Matt and Val down the steps.

Jess frowned at the newcomer. “What did you want to ask me?”

Lacey smiled. “Merely a question.” She turned to Jimmy and Brian. “May we have some privacy please?”

Both men seemed to want to protest to this requested dismissal, but really having no real defence, could only begrudgingly do as she asked, trudging off the bus a few paces apart. This left Lacey and Jess alone, the latter of which was beginning to feel extremely worried. “Why did you ask them to go?”

She shrugged carelessly. “I didn’t think you would want them here.”

“And why would I think that?”

“Well…” She trailed off to a momentary silence, knowing full well that Jess’ eyes were burning into her.

“Well?” Jess echoed impatiently. “What is it?”

“How are things going between you and Jimmy?”

At first she didn’t answer- she just seemed to completely shut down. Even the colour drained from her cheeks, leaving behind a whitewashed face tainted with a mixture of shock and fear. Eventually though, she managed to choke some words out, even if it took Lacey a few moments to figure out what the hell she actually said. “I... don’t be… Jimmy and I… well…” A deep scarlet erupted across her cheeks as if she had just been slapped. “We’re fine of course! Why wouldn’t we be?”

Throughout all of this Lacey had been studying her with a psychologist’s perspective and knew that everything that Jess just came out with was… well… summed up with one word that she said next. “Bullshit.”

Jess was taken aback by that. “Wh-what?”

“You heard me.” Lacey leaned in, a disbelieving look in her eyes. “Bull-shit. And you know it. I can see you’re lying.”

“I’m not lying,” Jess retorted defensively, crossing her arms over her chest for good measure.

“Jess, you know who you are talking to right?” Lacey snorted. She pointed to herself. “Psychology major love. I read people’s behaviour for my degree.”

Jess looked away and pouted. “I’m not lying.”

“Avoiding eye contact?” She smirked. “Bullshit.”

“Fine.” Jess instead stared straight at her and repeated herself again. “I’m not lying.”

Her smirk grew. “Forced prolonged contact? Yeah, I smell bullshit.”

“Oh for…” Jess groaned. “I’m not lying, okay?” She sighed and fell backwards against the couch before looking wearily up at Lacey. “So what does falling onto a couch mean?”

“Hm…” Lacey tapped her cheek in thought as she perched upon the couch opposite. “Just falling onto a couch.” She glanced over at Jess. “You know I was actually quite bad at psychology. I only just scraped a pass in it last year.”

“How come? I thought you were good at all the body language crap.”

“I just guess all the time actually,” Lacey admitted with a fond chuckle. “Most of it is just common sense.”

Jess shared in her laughter. “I’m glad you want to be a lawyer instead.”

“Well, I decided to hedge my bets; luckily I seem to be good at Law.” She decidedly pushed herself from her couch to join Jess upon hers. “Do you want to know the real reason why I know you were lying?”

Jess shrugged.

“Johnny told me.”

“He didn’t know I was going to lie to you just then.”

“Oh he didn’t tell me about that! He did ring me a lot while you lot were on tour and I was still stuck at Uni.”

“Okay…?”

Lacey sighed. “He told me about all the kerfuffle you have been having with Jimmy and Brian.” Jess’ gaze drifted to her hands, which slowly tightened around one another as Lacey continued. “You know if you ever want to talk-”

“What did he tell you?” Her nails dug deep into her palms in anticipation for her answer.

“Johnny?” Lacey bit her lip- there weren’t any secrets between them, and that included other people. They were essentially one unit anyway, so there was no fear that the secrets would be told on again. “Was he not meant to tell me? You know I won’t say anything-”

“It’s fine.” Her grip relaxed tentatively with a sigh. “It’s not like it’s a secret anyway. Pretty much everyone knows on the tour.”

“Then have you really-!” She stopped. “Do you know what, never mind-”

“If you mean have I in fact slept with both my now-husband and my best friend, then yes, I have.” She exhaled a loud sigh. “I’d call it an accident, but…”

“But?” Lacey’s voice dropped slightly. “What makes you say that?”

Another sigh, then silence.

“Do you… Do you like them?” Even though Jess didn’t answer her, she knew she must have been on the right track. “Brian and Jimmy… you like them both?”

Jess’ gaze fell ashamedly. “I’m a horrible person.”

“No you’re not!” Lacey blurted. “I..” Her voice returned to normal levels. “I know some proper horrible people, and you are definitely not one of them Jess!”

“So you’ve met many people who are married to one person but kind of seeing someone else at the same time?”

Lacey didn’t answer. She didn’t have one.

“I thought so.” Jess sighed and pushed herself to her feet leaving Lacey behind her, who was currently feeling extremely guilty about beginning the conversation in the first place. “I think we better go… don’t you?”

“Huh?

Jess gestured to the front of the bus where the steps were situated. “I think Johnny is waiting for you.”

“Oh. Right.” Lacey stood up and began to walk to the steps, expecting Jess to follow her. When she readied herself to step off the bus she realised Jess hadn’t, and looked back at her curiously. “Jess? Are you coming?”

“I’ll just be a moment. I’m just going to get my bag. Can you tell the others I’ll meet them in the hotel please?”

“Sure.” Lacey turned to leave but ultimately stopped herself to say one last thing. “About bringing up Brian and Jimmy, I’m really sor-”

“Don’t worry about it.”

She paused for a moment as if to attempt to repeat her apology again but thought better of it, knowing that getting off the subject would be better than her apology that would only bring it back up. “Okay.” She smiled. “Have a nice dinner.”

Jess forced a small smile. “You too.”

With a short nod Lacey skipped down the steps, embracing her boyfriend lovingly and sealing her return with a kiss. Jess watched from the window as the others were told of her intention to make her own way over after finding her things. Thankfully she was just out of sight as both Jimmy and Brian glanced over to the window, and perhaps even more fortunately Lacey managed to convince them to leave along with Matt, Zacky and Val, instead of coming back to check on her, even if their expressions were vastly reluctant to do so.

As usual of Jess’ character, she wasn’t going to follow through with what she told Lacey, as after their exchange sitting down in a dinner containing both those two with all the conflicting thoughts running amok in her head she doubted she could stand it. Instead she grabbed her bag and walked in the complete opposite direction to the hotel, hoping that the fresh air and distance from the others would help to clear her mind. Her wanderings took her far from the hotel to the point where she suddenly realised she wasn’t in the same neighbourhood anymore, and coupled with the dying light as the afternoon shift was taken over by evening, a slight sense of panic began to settle in. Everyone to her seemed like they were ready to strike, which inhibited her ability to sum up the courage to ask any of these passing individuals for directions back to the hotel where she really should have remained in the first place.

In the end she managed to force herself to ask a hot dog stall vendor for directions, hoping that he could shed some light upon her dire situation. “Erm… excuse me…”

The man behind the stall cut her off and grunted, “What do you want?”

Jess glanced down at the greasy hot dogs cooking on his stand and quickly shook her head. “Erm… I’m not after a hot dog but I was kind of hoping you could give me directions back to the Conrad Chicago hotel, I’m kind of lost.”

Almost instantly a couple of bodies that Jess hadn’t noticed before when she first approached the stall peeled from the shadowed walls behind it, both male, both swathed in clothes that stereotypically announced a not so nice personality. One of the pair draped his arm around her, and the aroma of drugs and smoke instantly engulfed her lungs almost causing her to choke.

“You lost darling?” His words were slurred as the tendrils of his last joint stilled his tongue. “Don’t worry; me and Jake will walk you on home. Where are you headed?”

“Oh don’t worry… I’m fine,” Jess teetered as she attempted to duck out from under his arm. “Really… I’m fin-!” She squeaked out in alarm as she accidentally backed into Jake and his devilish smirk, feeling infinitely smaller as she looked up at the tattooed bulk. Even with just a glance she knew that other than the supposed friendship the two men shared they also shared the same tattoo placed on the side of their necks. Normally Jess wouldn’t be bothered about tattooed individuals and the normal stereotype that went along with them since she had spent so much time with the band, but these men certainly didn’t have the same positive qualities they did.

“You’re in safe arms with us,” Jake said, a hint of malice decorating his words. “I promise.” As he spoke his hand began to travel across her stomach from where he had caught her, nuzzling close to her neck and inhaling deeply with a lustful sigh. “You smell gorgeous…”

“Erm… I better get going…” Jess murmured as she tried to wriggle away from Jake. “I’m late and-”

His single arm grip around her waist tightened. “What does it matter if you’re a bit late, hm?” He leant in once again, his lips brushing coldly against her neck as he spoke. “We’re all friends here…”

Jess looked imploringly up at the hot dog vendor, but for the most part he seemed to be ignoring the whole situation. If she had a moment more to check, she could have sworn there was the same tattoo- albeit faded over the decades- printed amongst the stains upon his bare arms. She shuddered instinctively as Jake pressed his lips to her neck, mentally cursing for ending up in this situation. Thankfully a distraction came in the form of her cell ringing- but while it made Jake retract from her it meant that her only escape was stolen from her as the other man ruthlessly ripped her bag from her arm.

“What’s this?” The other male said as he unzipped her bag and pulled out her cell. “Jimmy huh?” He looked at Jess and grinned. “Who’s that? Your boyfriend?” Jess’ heart dropped as he deftly pressed the ‘cancel’ button and ended the call. “I don’t think we need any interruptions, do we?”

Jess looked fearfully up at the current possessor of her bag and cell. “Please… I just want to go back…”

“Now why would you-” He was cut off as her cell rang again. “Persistent bastard isn’t he?” Jess didn’t stand back this time as she kicked backwards and lunged forward out of Jake’s momentarily relaxed one-handed grip and grabbed her phone, surprising his partner in the process.

“Jess? Where the hell are you-?”

Jake wrenched her wrist back causing her to drop the phone which then slid up the sidewalk out of her reach, a pained undertone seeping into his words. “Why you little bitch-”

The rest of his sentence was swallowed under the shattering sounds of glass as a window in the building behind them broke, followed shortly after by the roaring crescendo of a large SUV rolling onto the scene. The windows were rolled down and men were hanging out from the side windows with guns in their hands, pointing directly at the small group clustered around the hot dog stand. This included Jess.

“Fuck!” Jake dropped his hold on Jess to reach into his jacket, producing a gun that he then began firing at the armed vehicle. His partner began doing the same, which caused retaliation from the opposing group. Even the hot dog vendor joined in, producing a shotgun from underneath the stall and opening fire upon them. Jess used this in order to flee the scene, abandoning her bag in favour of raw survival instinct. The shots seemed to follow her as she ran; the car that had appeared was driving in the same direction she had blindly ran to get away before she suddenly tripped on a crack within the sidewalk and crashed to the ground. Pain exploded from her side as she lay upon the cold concrete, victim to her environment as the shooting ensued for what seemed like an eternity. It was in reality perhaps an extra half a minute as the constantly moving vehicle eventually slipped round a corner, leaving the corner once again alone.

“Fuck!” Jake growled as he grabbed his firing arm where a bullet had grazed his shoulder, biting deep into the flesh and drawing blood. He turned irritably to his partner. “What the fuck where they doing here Sam? Huh? This is our place!” He let out a low growl as he took away his hand and wiped the blood on his pants, waving at Sam with his hand. “Go get the fucking car!”

Sam nodded over at Jess who still remained on the floor. “What about the girl?”

Jake gave her only a fleeting glance before giving his cold answer. “Fuck her.” He turned to the hot dog vendor. “We’ll get them Pop. Don’t you worry.”

Pop gave a grim look, cocking his gun ready for another shot. “I’m going after those shits myself. This is the third time this month.”

“Alright.” Another car similarly to the other one came to a stop beside the stall, Sam at the wheel. The other two men clambered in the vehicle and with one short rev of the engine and not even a fleeting glance to the girl left upon the sidewalk, they drove off after the attackers.

Within the empty silence Jess gave a lowly whimper, her vision blurred slightly as she lifted her scratched cheek from the concrete.

“Jess? Jess are you there? What was that noise?”

In the background Jess could just about here the faint cries coming from her phone lying a foot or so away from her, but she couldn’t find the strength to reach out and reply to her concerned caller. It wasn’t long until this voice slipped from her hearing as most sensations left her in favour of a flat numbness engulfing her body. Various coloured lights pricked the backs of her eyes as they slowly closed; with not even her survival instinct able to rouse her as foreign hands grabbed onto her body once again.