I Swear I Love You

No one had heard from Jess since the time on the bus, and after what Jimmy heard during the call didn’t comfort him in the slightest. He couldn’t tell for sure what the first noises were, but he was pretty sure that the others were the unmistakeable sounds of an ambulance. Jimmy didn’t want to assume the worst, but considering the trouble Jess always managed to find herself in whenever she wandered off someone he couldn’t help it. He just had one problem. He had no fucking idea where she went, and neither did anyone else. The only thing he really could do was to question the last person to see her within reach. Unfortunately for the new member to the crew, that happened to be Lacey.

“Are you sure she didn’t say anything that might have said where she was going?” Jimmy repeated once again, stressing the ‘anything’.

“I’m sure,” Lacey answered automatically.

“Like really sure?” Jimmy pressed. “I mean, it doesn’t even have to be obvious, like saying she saw a shirt or something in a shop window or…?”

“I’m positive Jimmy,” Lacey stressed. Beside her, Johnny squeezed her hand for support. “She simply said to me to tell you lot to go on, and that she just needed to grab her bag then she would follow. That’s it.”

“But that can’t be just it!” Jimmy said, his voice rising. “She’s fucking gone off somewhere and since you were the last person to see her-”

“I know I was the last person to see her!” Lacey cried, suddenly jumping to her feet to face him, her eyes shimmering with a guilty veil of water. “I don’t know anything Jimmy! If I knew she would have gone off then-” She stopped abruptly as her chest heaved in a loud sob, stilling her words as Johnny leapt up and pulled her into his embrace, speaking soft, soothing things into her ear.

He looked over to Jimmy with a firm stare. “That’s enough Jim. She doesn’t know anything.”

“But-”

“But nothing!” Johnny said firmly. “Leave it. If you want to find out where Jess is, you’ll have to find out another way.” He cradled Lacey in his arms as if she were a child, speaking to her with a gentle voice. “Come on babe.”

She sniffed. “Okay.” She allowed him to lead her away to the back, leaving Jimmy to fall with a sigh onto the couch, his hand ready to catch his head as it fell.

“No luck?” Jimmy glanced briefly to the asker before turning away. “Come on Jim; I’m as worried as you are,” Brian said, attempting to seek some sort of response from the drummer. He knew that their relationship was quite frosty at the moment thanks to the girl in question, but it wasn’t completely shattered. Yet. “Have you heard anything?”

“No,” he replied curtly. His fingers curled tighter around the phone in his hand. “Nothing. Nada. Not a thing. Zip. Please try again later. Diddly squat-”

“Alright, alright. I get it,” Brian sighed. Trying to elicit a non-sarcastic response from him was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. “You know I’m only trying to help-”

“I don’t need your help,” Jimmy said suddenly, cutting him off. His tone was sharper than he had originally intended, but he couldn’t do anything about it now. The thought of Jess getting into some serious trouble… some of the things he had heard about this place didn’t help his thoughts, neither the fact she was a fragile girl that any guy could easily overwhelm.

He heaved a loud sigh, his worried blue eyes flickering to the hurt brown haze of his friend’s. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to shout.”

Brian shrugged carelessly. “Doesn’t matter. You’re just worked up.”

“Have you heard anything from the others?”

He shook his head. “Matt and Val are out looking with Logan in the rental downtown and Berries are wandering around the blocks on foot. I’ve been ringing around with Zack but the police won’t look into it because she hasn’t been gone for 24 hours.”

“Did you happen to mention she’s diabetic and could die in less than 24 hours if she doesn’t have her medication?” Jimmy growled through gritted teeth. “Fuck the cops then.” He pushed himself to his feet. “I’ll go find her myself.”

“You can’t be serious-”

“I’m not just going to sit here!” Jimmy shot back. “Why am I the one who had to be stuck here on the bus while everyone else looked out for her, huh? Why couldn’t I help? Why couldn’t-”

He was cut off as his phone suddenly began to ring, with both his and Brian’s eyes darting to the lit up screen as it sung. The number was unknown to them both, but it didn’t stop Jimmy from hurriedly answering it. “Hello? Jess?”

A tentative female voice replied him. “Is this… Jimmy?”

“Yes, that’s me.” Jimmy frowned. “Why? Who is this?”

“I’m calling on behalf of a patient. Are you familiar with this number?”

The colour on Jimmy’s face drained as she said the word patient, falling whiter still as she read out the number and he knew it. “Yes. That’s Jessica Fawn’s number.”

“Are you a friend of Jessica?”

“She’s my wife.” To his left, Brian’s gaze faltered upon the drummer. “Is… is something wrong?”

“I’m afraid your wife is in hospital. She was caught up in a shooting earlier today in Wicker Park.”

“A shooting?!” Jimmy cried, his concern peaking to new heights. “Is she hurt bad? Is she alright? Is she-?”

“The bullet punctured her lung causing it to collapse. We had to get her into surgery.”

“S…surgery?” Jimmy gulped. “Is she…”

“I’m afraid I can’t release many more details over the phone. If you come to Sacred Heart Hospital and ask at the front desk they will be able to send you up where I can speak to you in more detail. Just ask for Heather White. I’ll call ahead to allow them to send you up.”

“Oh…okay.” As the phone went dead in his hands, so did his ability to stay standing as he slumped back onto the couch behind him.

“Jim?” Brian’s voice sounded desperate. “What did they say? What’s wrong with Jess?”

His answer was flat, almost as if he didn’t know the words were slipping past his lips. “She’s in surgery. She was shot.”

“She was what?!”

Jimmy turned rigidly to face Brian. “Shot,” he repeated. “In Wicker Park. They didn’t say what happened. Said they couldn’t over the phone.” He ran a flustered hand through his hair, biting down on his lip and nearly drawing blood. “How could I have been so stupid?! To leave her alone?”

Brian looked at his friend with deep-rooted empathy. He knew exactly what the man in front of him was feeling, but dismissed his own guilt in favour of easing that of his fellow band mate. He had already made his decision to surrender Jess to him, so to cry for his own shortcomings concerning her seemed like a redundant decision. “Come on Jim, it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t to know.” He reached out to squeeze his shoulder but the action was quickly dismissed.

“How can you just stand there and act all calm, like you don’t even give a shit?” Jimmy yelled, flinching away from him. “What happened to you liking her, hm? Did you give up just like that?”

Brian reeled back, looking hurt. “How could you even say that?”

“Just can,” he muttered, looking away. He knew he had hurt his friend, and in some way he felt guilty about it, but another conflicting part of him just didn’t give a damn. “You don’t exactly look like you care now do you?”

“Of course I care!” Brian protested. “But what can I do? Sitting around and shouting like some kid won’t do anything now would it?”

“So I’m acting like a kid?” Jimmy replied defensively, his shoulder tensing.

Brian sighed in exasperation. “You know I didn’t mean it like that-”

“So how did you mean it?”

Another sigh. “Just forget it, okay? I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have said it.”

“Woah, what started off this little bitch fit?” Both males turned from each other to see Zack emerge from the doorway, a local phone directory in one hand and his cell in the other. “You can’t waste time having a go at each other when we need to be looking for Jess.”

Jimmy glanced up at him. “We found Jess.”

“Really?” Zack said, surprised. “Where is she then? I’m sure if you tell Matt and Val they can swing by with Logan to get her-”

“She’s in the hospital,” Jimmy said blankly.

“The hospital?!”

His gaze was consumed with guilt; guilt of knowing he should have prevented it from happening to her. He was meant to be her husband; to love and protect her. If he can’t do that, then what was the point of him even trying to keep them together?

“She was shot.”

Zack’s incredulous tone grew. “What?!”

“In Wicker Park,” Brian added grimly.

“Jess was… shot?” The three males turned to the wobbly voice, seeing Lacey standing upwards of them. She looked fearfully between them. “Is she alright?”

Jimmy’s gaze dropped. “I don’t know. They wouldn’t say.”

Her eyes began to well up. “Oh god…” She shook her head violently as a tremble overcame her. “This is all my fault… If I had stopped her-”

“Hey, of course it isn’t,” Johnny said soothingly, pulling her to his chest. Her hands clutched at his shirt as she sobbed. “Don’t be silly Lace…” He gave her a few shushing sounds before he looked over to his friends. “Have you told Matt and Val yet?”

Both Brian and Jimmy shook their heads. Zack simply flipped open his cell and began thumbing through his contacts. “Leave it to me. I’ll get them to swing by and take us up there.” He disappeared for a few moments up back before returning, sliding his phone into his back pocket. “They’re just on their way back. Shouldn’t be too long.”

In fact, they weren’t long at all, and if the way the tyres of the compact car screeching as Logan pulled to a sudden stop outside the bus it was clear what the reason why was.

“Alright, who’s coming then?” Logan asked he stepped out the car. “I can only take four- for some reason the rental company only gave us a shitty small car when I specifically asked for a larger one.”

“I’m coming,” Jimmy said automatically.

“Alright.” Logan looked at the others, who all seemed to look at each other, wondering who should go. “Who else?”

Eventually Val broke the stalemate. “Brian, why don’t you go with Jimmy?” The drummer tensed at this decision, but for the most part it was cleverly disguised as concern for Jess. “You’ll know what to tell the doctors about her diabetes.”

He glanced to Jimmy knowing that his presence probably wouldn’t be too welcomed but his own worry for Jess overcame that. “I guess you’re right.”

Val smiled at him. “I know you’re worried about her. If you stayed behind with us you would go mad not knowing how she was.”

He echoed her soft sentiment. “Thanks Val.” He clambered into the vacant seat in the front where Matt had sat next to Logan. Jimmy followed suit with a grunt into the back, clearly not that happy the guitarist was coming with him. Logan was just about to get into the driver’s side before a tentative voice called out to him.

“Can… can I go too?”

Johnny looked down at Lacey in his arms and frowned. “Maybe its best if we just let Gates and Rev go, we don’t want to be a crowd.”

“But…” She looked imploringly up at him. “I need to know she’s alright. If I had just made her come with me to the hotel…”

“Hey! Don’t start saying stuff like that! It’s not your fault Lace, it was Jess that decided to go off. You weren’t to know.”

“I know but…”

“Come on, it’s not your fault,” Johnny said firmly, before turning to Logan. “Would it be alright if Lace and I come with you?”

The driver simply shrugged. “There are two seats free anyway. Hop on in.”

“Thanks.” He let Lacey climb in first next to Jimmy but hung back as Val called him back.

“Give us a ring once you know something, okay?”

It wasn’t just Jimmy or Brian who were worried for Jess, but the rest of the gang as well, himself included. Johnny found it funny how one girl could get them all so worked up like this, but then again, it would be the same if any of the rest of them got hurt. They considered her as part of the family now, regardless of the marriage certificate she had drunkenly signed with their drummer.

“Will do,” he said before clambering in after Lacey, instinctively wrapping his arm around her, knowing she needed the comfort right now. Eventually her hand sought out his, and as she rested her head on his shoulder he murmured soft reassurances to her saying Jess will be fine, despite knowing on the inside he couldn’t be sure.

--

Jimmy had reached the front desk before Logan had even taken the keys out of the ignition, having pretty much jumped out when he had slowed down to a reasonable speed. Behind it was a female worker tapping away at the keys, looking up at him in surprise at the sound of his ragged breath.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes,” Jimmy breathed, his lungs heaving for air. “Can you please tell me where I can find Jessica Fawn’s room? Someone named Heather White told me I should ask here.”

“Jessica Fawn…” Her attention returned to the screen attempting to locate the name. In this time the rest of the gang caught up and clustered around him. “Ah, here she is. She has just been recently transferred to the Sparrow Ward. If you follow the hallway to the left and then go up the stairs you’ll come to signs that will direct you where you need to go. Heather works there; just ask someone where she is when you get there.”

Jimmy quickly thanked her before setting off, leaving his friends to hurry after him. It took him perhaps a minute to get to the ward at his heightened pace, calling upon the first person he saw for information. “Excuse me, can you tell me where Heather White is?”

She blinked at him in surprise. “That’s me. What can I do for you?”

“Oh.” Jimmy wasn’t expecting that, but soon recovered his composure. He needed to. “You rang me to say I should come here and ask for you.”

“Oh, you must be the partner of the young female brought in earlier! Please follow me.” Heather began a brisk walk through the ward, followed a step or so behind by Jimmy. She stopped outside one of the last rooms on the ward, occupied by the sounds of a faint beeping. Her body blocked any sight Jimmy had into the room as she turned to face him, her expression grim. “Your wife received a bullet wound to the left side of her chest, puncturing her lung in the process. This caused it to collapse during surgery, but doctors were able to re-inflate it. Thankfully the bullet did not cause much damage as it did not hit her ribs; an inch or so further to the left and it would have hit her heart, killing her instantly. She was very lucky.”

Throughout her recounting of Jess’ condition Jimmy remained silent.

“May I ask something?”

Jimmy nodded slowly, his brain still attempting to process the information he had been given.

She eyed him up and down suspiciously. “Have you been involved in any gang activity? Do you have any enemies or-”

Jimmy suddenly snapped back after that. “Wait, what? Gangs?”

Her expression was serious. “I need to know sir. With cases like this we have a duty to inform the police if we suspect any gang involvement-”

“I am not part of any gang,” Jimmy snapped, sounding offended. “I have been in Chicago for a total of about eight hours. Unless there is some gang I’ve signed up to without realising it, then I don’t think I’m part of one.”

“My apologies.” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “We have to check with cases like these- an injury as a result of gang activity is extremely frequent here.”

“So you think Jess was shot by some gangs then?”

“It’s the most likely scenario at the moment. She was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time and got caught up in it. We have many of those instances here as well. It is dangerous in some parts- you need to take care during your visits.”

“I will.” He attempted to peer around the hospital worker. “Can I…?”

“Hm? Oh, you wish to see your wife?” She dutifully stepped aside. “She is resting at the moment but you can enter the room. Please take care not to excite her as she has only moved on from the recovery room in the past half hour.”

“Thank you for everything.”

“It’s just my job,” Heather replied warmly. “Take care of yourself Mr. Fawn.”

Jimmy paused to say, “It’s Sullivan. Jessica and James Sullivan,” before he entered the room and stood by the side of Jess’ bed, watching over her still form. Heather watched him for a few moments before turning away with a smile, knowing that her patient was left in good hands as she went to tend to others who needed her help.

Jess looked incredibly fragile as Jimmy looked at her, not even daring to touch her hand just in case she broke. She looked alright apart from the light scratches on her left cheek, but Jimmy knew that underneath the hospital gown was where a bullet had dug into her body, hurting her badly in the process. There was a drip connected to her right hand running to a hanging bag to the side, next to the heart monitor that kept an electronic eye on her pulse. Next to this another tube ran from a separate machine to the bed, but it was hidden by the covers so he couldn’t tell where it went to.

His gaze was filled with sorrow as his gaze eventually reclaimed sight of her delicate features, marred by the imperfections on her cheek. “Jess…” He sank into the chair next to her. “Oh God… I’m so sorry…”

“Sorry for what?” Jess’ head turned to where Jimmy sat, her soft smile counteracting his shock.

“Jess?!”

Her warm eyes gazed at him. “Yes?”

“I… I thought you were asleep!”

“No, merely resting my eyes,” Jess replied, chuckling before a pained expression took over. Jimmy was about to explode with worry when she saw that but she quickly stopped him. “Relax Jimmy. I’m fine.”

“Fine? Fine?!I How can you say that?” Jimmy said incredulously, his voice rising. “You were shot for fuck’s sake!”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t matter?!”

“No it doesn’t,” she repeated, her expression screwing up again as pain flared in her chest, stealing her breath. “Jim- Jimmy, can you press that button?”

“Button?”

“It’s-” She squeezed her eyes shut for a second before reopening them, an underlying pain hiding behind the dull blue of her eyes. “It should be by my hand somewhere.”

“Erm…” Jimmy soon found the small rectangular box a couple of inches from the edge of Jess’ fingertips and pressed it. A few moments later relief flooded through Jess’ features.

“Thank you.” She watched as he eyed the box curiously. “It’s linked up to something over there.” She gestured to the few machines beside her. “It releases morphine when it is pressed. Helps with the pain.”

“Pain?”

Jess simply laughed as he bit his lip. “I was shot Jimmy. There is going to be some sort of pain as a result.”

Jimmy simply stared at her. “You’re crazy. You’re actually crazy.”

“Crazy?” An amused smile played at her lips. “What makes you say that?”

“You’re just sitting there all calm, even though you were just shot.” He shook his head in disbelief. “They need to check your head out or something. You might have hit it.”

“Just the chest wound Jimmy, I’m fine otherwise. However they did say I was very lucky, just an inch or so further and I would have been-”

“Dead.”

Jess stopped as Jimmy finished off her sentence for her. “Yes.” She frowned. “Jimmy…” She proceeded cautiously, wanting to reach out to him but finding she couldn’t. Even though it was some time since then it still echoed in the back of her mind…

“Because I love her!”

“You… Wait what?” Matt spluttered. “You what?!”

“I didn’t say anything-”
“Don’t play stupid you know what you just said! Did you say what I just think you did? Jim! Talk to me!”
“I said I love her.”
She repeated his name in attempt to reach his sullen gaze. “Jimmy. Jimmy look at me.” He did so slowly. “You know this isn’t your fault, right? I went off on my own. It was my fault.”

Jimmy mumbled something in reply, but she couldn’t hear it.

“What did you say?”

He spoke slightly louder, his words jumbling over each other in one barely coherent mess. “I should have been there with you.”

Her lips dropped. “Jimmy-”

“I should have stopped you from going. Then this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Oh Jimmy.” She shifted slightly so that she could reach over to him, ignoring the small box that would have relieved the pain that suddenly ripped through her left side. In a masochistic way she thought she deserved it. “You weren’t to know what was going to happen. It’s my fault- I shouldn’t have gone off that far. I didn’t know the place- I know it was stupid. I just went on a walk to clear my head and then I just got caught up in it. It was just the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Jimmy looked at her miserably, his eyes bearing the brunt of his guilt. “But if I stayed with you on the bus… or made sure you came with us to dinner first then-”

“Jimmy please.” She looked at him, pleaded with him. “Don’t blame yourself.” This time a glimpse of the pain flickered on her expression as she leant towards where he sat. A pained gasp escaped her as she put too much weight on her recent wound and felt the stitches cry under the strain, but she still didn’t move.

Meanwhile Jimmy’s eyes widened in alarm. “Jess you shouldn’t be moving-”

“Jimmy.” She reached forward and cupped his cheek, silencing his words. Her blue eyes seemed eerily calm in comparison to her body which was trembling under the waves of pain washing through her. “It’s not your fault. Promise me you won’t blame yourself.”

“But-”

“Promise me.” She smiled at him. “For me?”

He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again soon after, his joined lips reflecting a glimpse of her smile at the edges. “I promise.”

“Good.” She fell back onto her pillow, her fingers enclosing over those Jimmy had left upon the small box and depressing them both. The familiar relief came over her once again as the fluids seeped into her bloodstream, dulling her sense to the pain. This extra dose also caused the rippling tide of exhaustion to finally consume her after it had been lapping at the edges of her awakened state for some time. As her eyes closed so did her fingers, curling Jimmy’s in hers as she gave in to the merciful sleep. “Thank you for finding me Jimmy.”

“I’d always come for you.” He rose from the chair and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Always.”

Her smile grew as a small yawn passed her lips. “Will you still be here when I wake up?”

Her request sounded so childlike, like a concerned child who didn’t want to be alone. “Of course I will.”

Her eyes opened briefly. “You promise?”

“Of course.” He reached up with his free hand and gently tucked her hair behind her ear, allowing it to linger against the contour of her cheek. He took care not to press against the skin, feeling the uneven surface of the scratches on his palm. “Come on. Go to sleep.”

“Okay.” Her eyes slipped shut to a contented yawn. “Thank you.”

Within seconds she was asleep, her chest moving to a steady rhythm and her body relaxed into sleep. Her fingers remained in his however, as if even in sleep she needed the reassurance she was protected. He could tell that even though she seemed alright about everything she was really frightened; it was only natural. She just probably felt safe in the hospital so it didn’t show much. However her uncensored peace only lasted a few minutes as the door burst open and Lacey stumbled in, her eyes stained red as she looked worriedly for the subject of her concerns.

“Oh thank god!” She breathed a large sigh of relief as she saw Jess, obviously awake from the ruckus she had made. “You’re alright!”

Jimmy simply glared at her, muttering darkly, “No thanks to you she’s-”

“Jimmy,” Jess said sharply, giving him a mindful look before turning to Lacey with a smile, gently sitting herself upright again. “I didn’t think I’d be getting this many visitors. I feel quite popular.”

Lacey gave a small smile. “How are you feeling honey?”

“I’ve felt better,” Jess replied truthfully. As Lacey walked in further with Johnny and Brian behind her Jess quickly noticed her eyes, and immediately frowned. “What’s the matter Lacey? You look like you’ve been crying.”

“Oh no!” She hurriedly wiped at her eyes. “I’m fine!” She chuckled weakly. “How can you ask me that when you are in hospital?”

Jess laughed softly. “You know, that isn’t the first time I’ve heard that.”

Lacey smiled. “Perhaps there is a reason for that.”

“Probably.”

Her gaze flickered to the lonely male in the corner as Johnny slotted into the space next to Lacey. “Brian? Are you okay?”

His previously fixated gaze upon the floor suddenly flicked up to meet hers, looking almost as if he didn’t fit in the scene. “Huh?”

“Are you okay?”

A small smile took hold of him. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

Jess simply shrugged. “Everyone knows what’s happened to me.” She eased herself upright, careful not to tug onto any of the wires connected to her, and slid slightly to the side before patting the free space next to her. “Come on. Come over here.”

Brian took one glance at the space between Jess and Jimmy and quickly shook his head. “I’m alright here-”

Jess faltered. “…Please?” Her gaze saddened. “I don’t want to see my best friend looking at me as if the world was crushing him without trying to help. I feel useless enough as it is so can’t you just ease my pain and sit here?”

He opened his mouth to refuse, but shut it again once he saw Jess’ expression drop just one grade further. “Alright.” Crossing the room he sat gingerly on the bed next to her, taking care so not to jog any of the wires linked to her body.

Her smile instantly returned once he was by her side and she quickly rested his head upon his shoulder. “That’s better.” She reached over with her wire free hand and curled her fingers in his. “So what’s up my glum chum?”

“I’m fine Jess.”

“Come on, I know you better than that,” Jess chided. “So why don’t you just tell me?”

“Jess I’m fine-”

“Excuse me.” The soft voice cut off his repeated response and called all eyes to fix upon Heather who had reappeared once again in the doorway. “I’m sorry to say that visiting hours are now over. I’m afraid you will have to leave.”

Jimmy was the first to respond. “Is there any way I can stay for a bit longer considering…?”

Everyone knew he meant the fact he was legally Jess’ husband, but this did not alter the nurse’s command. “I’m sorry sir, it is hospital rules. All patients need to be allowed to rest, and this includes from outside distractions.”

“But I won’t-”

“I’m sorry.” She gave an apologetic smile. “You have ten minutes.” She left soon after, leaving most of the room to then turn to Jess.

“Well, we best get going then,” Lacey said quietly, standing beside her bed. “We’ll come and see you tomorrow, before the show.”

Johnny curled his frame around Lacey’s, softening the atmosphere with a cheeky grin and remark. “Unless you want to sneak out and see us?”

Jess chuckled fondly at the suggestion, but quickly stopped as a short burst of pain flared in her side. Even those tiny tremors caused the tube going into her side to jolt and cause a fleeting grimace. “I would if I could, but I think I better stick around for the meantime. I’ll have to catch you another time.”

“I know you couldn’t come Jess, it was just a little joke.” He gravitated towards the door with Lacey in tow. “We’ll bring you some food with us tomorrow. God knows how you are going to live off the stuff this place makes.”

“Thank you Johnny.”

“No problem.” He smiled. “Sleep well Jess.”

“You too.”

He glanced quickly at both Brian and Jimmy before quickly exiting the room with Lacey, knowing that the two of them probably wanted their own goodbyes with Jess. At first neither of them moved, since Brian didn’t dare to speak first in front of Jimmy while Jimmy wanted Brian to hurry up since he wanted to have his goodbyes alone. Eventually someone did speak.

“Shouldn’t you two be going soon?” Jess asked. “I assume you came with Johnny and Lacey.” She paused momentarily before adding, “Plus you have a show tomorrow. You need your sleep- as do I apparently.” She turned to Jimmy. “I’ll be fine. Go on.”

Since she had directed her dismissal to him, Jimmy couldn’t do anything except agree to it. “Okay.” He leant in and pecked her on the forehead before drawing back. “I’ll see you tomorrow as soon as sound check is done.” He stepped back and motioned to Brian. “Come on Gates.”

Brian silently began to get to his feet when Jess called him back. “Do I not get a goodbye?”

His gaze lifted momentarily to hers before he meekly returned to her side and gently eased his arms around her in a feather embrace. “Goodbye Jess.”

When he tried to pull away she tightened her grip, pulling him slightly closer so that her lips brushed against his ear where she whispered, “I love you too.”

Brian stiffened as Jess dislodged herself from him, bearing a sad smile in the wake of his shocked expression. He looked ready to say something but Jess shook her head, using only minute movements that couldn’t be seen otherwise.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

This seemed to crack his frozen exterior and he moved back, his voice relatively normal apart from a short delay in his reply as he was vainly trying to piece together her words alongside the expression she said it with. “I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow Jess.”

The last of her visitors departed her room then, one of which had a slight stagger to his movements. Without anyone with her the room seemed oppressively empty, almost to the point where she was tempted to try and call one of the guys to sneak back. However there was one upside to this loneliness, and that was that she could voice her thoughts without fear of retribution. And yet, she still couldn’t do it. It seemed that she repressed herself, rather than the actions of others.

So with her thoughts firmly enclosed within her heart she closed her eyes with a sigh, and slipped into sleep.