Not an Angel Yet

I stared at the steering wheel for a few moments before i started the engine back up. "Alice," I whispered to myself, "You better be right." I said and turned my car around, heading back towards Forks. I started thinking about all of the things i could say to Jasper and what their outcomes would be. Most of them ended in him not wanting to hear anything i had to say. Aren't i sooo optimisic?

I passed the Forks welcome sign and my heart sped up, and i began trying to narrow down what i was going to say. I thought about just begging for forgiveness, but that would make it too easy, but i would do it, considering that i was in love with this man. That was it.. I WAS in love with him. That's why i was heading back to his house, because i couldn't live without him.. It was then that i realized what i had to do.

As i pulled into the Cullen driveway, i saw someone pull the curtains back to look out the window and in a split second, Bella was at my side. "Haydee!" She screamed and ripped me out of the car. "Hi Bella." I choked out, unable to breathe at the moment. She pulled away from me and smiled. "Hey, Bella, do me a favor? Go inside and tell Jasper i need to talk to him.. I'll be waiting out here." I told her. She nodded and ran back into the house, as i headed towards the edge of the forest, leaning against the trunk of a tall oak tree. I heart footsteps coming towards me, and then stop about a foot away. "I know you think that i came here to yell at you, but i didnt. I came here to tell you.. well.. to tell you that I-" I couldnt finish my sentence. I sighed. "Jasper.. I really am in love with you.. and I just can't live without you. But it's come to a point where if you really want me in your life, you'll find a way to put me there. I'm done with the games." I said and started walking past him, but he put his arm out and grabbed me by my waist. "Haydee.. I just need some time." He whispered, and pulled me close to him in a tight embrace. "Its not easy to get over her." He said even quieter. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Kay." I said softly and began walking away, back to my car. "Haydee.." He called after me in a broken voice. "It's okay!" I called back and got it my car, backing out of the driveway.

I started driving back the way i had before, crying once again. I pulled over a couple miles further than last time and curled up in the backseat, crying harder. Alice was wrong.. I never should have believed her.. I sighed and sobbed breathlessly. Why couldn't i just walk away like i should have? I was startled by my car door being opened and seeing Jasper's face. I quickly wiped away my tears. He frowned and climbed in the backseat with me.

:::Jasper's Point of View:::

I got in the backseat of the car with the girl whom I loved. The girl who's heart I had broken because i couldnt get over Alice. She looked out the window, away from me, I'm guessing she didn't want to show me her tears. I could feel her sorrow, and her anxiety. She was heart broken and scared. This was all my fault. I wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her close to me and tell her I loved her and that everything would be okay. Then i remember the look on her face when i told her i needed time. I had hurt her more than words could express. "Why are you here?" She whispered, her voice cracking. I sighed, "I wanted to make sure you were okay." I told her softly. She laughed dryly, "Well the shows over, okay? You can go now." She told me harshly, still not looking at me. I put my hand on her cheek and gently made her look at me, seeing the tearstains on her beautiful face and the freshly shed tears making their way down. She really was beautiful. Her hazel eyes had little specks of green and copper in them, a lovely combination. Her lips were gorgeous, her bottom lip slightly more full than the top, but still perfect in every way. I looked into her eyes and kissed her softly. I heard her wimper and pull away. That shattered my heart as well. "Jasper.." She whispered in agony. "I'm sorry.." I said softly and took her hand in mine carefully.

:::Haydee's Point of View:::

I looked down at my hand in Jasper's and realized how much i truly wanted to make this work. I wanted him with every fiber of my being, and all of it was slipping away from me so fast. How can you be truly happy with someone if they still love another? Its impossible, really.. But no matter how hard it is to always know that they still love another, you have to get past that and see that all you want is them, and all they want is you.

I turned my head towards him and my nose bumped up against his. My heart beat accelerated at the sudden closeness.
"Jasper, I-"
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