Not an Angel Yet

::::5 Years Later::::

I looked up at the sky as i drove back to the small town of Forks.
I swore i'd never come back.
I swore i'd leave them be.
I'd never bother them again.
I'd never see him again.
I'd never put myself in that sort of pain again.
...
Okay, I lied.

Edward wanted me to come back.
He wanted to see me.
See how i was doing.
Talk to me.
...
I knew better.

He wanted me to come back and see..
Well you know who.
I don't say his name.
It hurts too much.

We never really dated,
but i still really loved him.
Leaving him was the hardest thing i had done in the 22 years i had been living.
Yes,
I'm 22 now.
It's been five years,
And i'd be the only one who changed.

I'd have to say my life has become somewhat of a tragedy.
My boyfriend, Greg, hits me.
Yells at me.
Blames me for all of the whores he cheats on me with leaving him.
Tells me i'm the reason he gets high everyday.
The reason he has to get drunk.
I'm the one thing that ruined his life.

Greg isnt my boyfriend right now..
Well, technically he is.
He doesnt know that i left.
That i'm going to see...
You know who he is.

At the moment,
I'm covered in bruises from the hitting.
Covered in cuts from the broken beer bottles.
Covered in burn scars from the cigarettes.
I dont know if i'll ever be the same.

I wondered how they'd react.
What they'd say.
If they'd even notice.
I had done a pretty good job of hiding them.
I just wouldnt take my jacket or my sunglasses off.
I wasnt staying long.

I pulled up into the driveway and sighed.
It was now or never.
And i'd much prefer it be never.