Not an Angel Yet

I didn’t really understand how I would have a letter on Saturday, so I just decided that I’d be surprised, and went to bed early, hoping that Saturday would come faster. That night I dreamed of Jasper, once again, and it was a good dream, for once.

When I woke up in the morning I had another envelope lying on my nightstand with my name written on it in Jasper’s handwriting. I picked it up and opened it:

Dearest Haydee,
I will stop calling myself a monster when you answer me just a few questions..
What exactly do you want to know about me?
Ask anything, and I’m sure I’ll have an answer.
What is the real reason you don’t want Bella to throw you a birthday party?
And what were you dreaming of last night?
I’m very interested,
Because you said my name several times,
And I swore you woke up,
But you just mumbled something else and rolled over.
I would really like to know.

Do you realize just how beautiful you are when you sleep?
I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful..
I hope you don’t mind that I enjoy watching you sleep..
I just find it very..
Soothing.
And it’s quite interesting.
I kept on trying to guess at what you were dreaming.
I wish I could read minds like Edward sometimes.
Well,
The sun will be coming up any minute,
Which means you’ll awake soon.
So,
Once you’ve read this,
Please eat and get ready,
And then come to my house.
I’d really like to try hanging out with you again.
Please?
Yours truly,
Jasper Hale

Okay, I’ll admit it… That letter did make me cry a bit. Not only from embarrassment but also because of his kindness, that was the nicest letter I’d ever received. I read the last part over, put the letter back in the envelope, and put that under my pillow, and then I did as he asked.

When I got to the Cullen’s house, I wasn’t really sure what to do, so I walked up to the front door and knocked lightly. Within seconds, Edward pulled the door open and smiled. “Haydee!” He exclaimed and hugged me lightly. “Hello Edward.” I replied with a smile. “Jasper and Emmett went on a run really quick they should be back soon.” He told me. “Okay,” I said, “I’ll just wait outside in the field.” I told him and he nodded. I walked out to the middle of the field, and realized how warm it was today, especially for February. It would be the 20th very soon, and then I would get my wings, and they would allow me to fly. I had always dreamed of the day I could fly. I looked up at the sky and breathed in deeply, smiling at the lovely scent. I began to spin around in circles and imagined I was flying. I kept spinning until I was so dizzy that I fell over, and then began laughing. After I had managed to stop laughing, I just lay on the ground and stared at the sky, trying to imagine how much pain I would be in on my birthday. To me, it seemed like the pain got worse each time I got a new scar. This last scar would allow me to have my wings… But in order for them to come out, each time my scars would have to be torn open. That would be the worst part. I started remembering how much my seventeenth scar had hurt. I remembered that I was lying on the couch downstairs, and 6:59 came around, the time of my birth, and all I could do was scream. I could feel the scar being made, I could feel a blade running across my back, but it wasn’t there. This continued until twelve oh one. Every time, there was more blood than the last time. I wonder if maybe this year would be different? Maybe this year there would be no pain, no blood. We’ll see.

My thoughts were interrupted when none other than Jasper called my name. “Haydee!” He yelled, he was somewhere near the house. I stood up and started heading in that direction. He ran over to me when he saw me. As soon as I looked at his face I knew something was wrong. “Jasper, what’s going on?” I asked, about to freak out. “Alice is gone.” He said. I blinked a few times, trying to let that sink in. Alice is gone? But… What about her and Jasper? I didn’t understand. I walked into the house and went right to Edward. “Where did she go?” I demanded. She wasn’t just going to leave Jasper here and get away with it. “I don’t know..” He replied sadly. “Liar! You can read minds, and I know that Bella is the only exception! You said so yourself!” I was getting pissed. “Haydee, calm down.” Carlisle soothed. “Calm down? How could she do this?” I turned away from everyone and walked out the door, heading into the woods. “Haydee!” It was Bella who followed me. She grabbed my arm and spun me around, “What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you like this.” She said to me, alarm all over her face. “How could she do this to him, Bella, how?” I asked, tears coming to my eyes for reasons I did not understand. “Haydee, what are you talking about?” She sounded extremely confused at this point. “How could Alice leave Jasper here like this? I thought they loved each other..” I said, wiping my sleeve across my face. “Haydee.. Do you remember that night at the party when you told me that they were fighting?” She asked, putting her hand on my shoulder for comfort. I nodded in response. “They were arguing because Alice told Jasper that she thinks things would be better if they separated… As in them not being a couple anymore… Jasper was confused… In my opinion, Alice was right, When she and Jasper had to separate and go searching for other vampires, something happened to Jasper, I think. But I’m really not sure what… But since then, they haven’t been the same Alice and Jasper. They don’t get along anymore, and… I don’t know, they don’t fit well together anymore.” Bella told me. I sighed, “But that didn’t mean she had to leave all of you. You guys are her family.” I said, explaining more in depth why I was so upset. “Sometimes you have to do what is for the best, even if it hurts people… Just like when Edward thought I was dead and he was going to provoke the Volturi-” “The what?” I interrupted her. “The Volturi. They’re basically the royal family of the vampire world. And they control the laws for vampires.” She explained. “Wait, vampires have laws?” I asked. “Yeah, confusing huh? The only law they really enforce is that we keep our kind a secret.” She told me. I nodded and she continued with her story, “Anyways, when Edward went to go provoke the Volturi, I had to leave my father, and Jacob behind, even though it hurt them.” She told me. “But you and Jacob are still friends, family basically… And you saved Edward. There was a purpose behind it.” I said. “That’s true, but perhaps there is also a purpose behind what Alice is doing.” She replied. I nodded. “C’mon, lets get you inside, you must be cold.” She said and led me back into the house.

When I walked through the front door into the living room, everyone was still there. They all looked at me with wary eyes and then looked away. “well, I guess I’ll go.. I know when I’m not wanted.” I said and turned around and went right back outside. I got to the edge of the driveway when I heard the front door slam and footsteps running up behind me. I turned around and came face to face with Jasper. “Yes?” I asked, not really caring if I sounded rude. “You can’t walk home. C’mon, I’ll give you a ride.” He said, ignoring the fact that I was pissed. I considered that for a minute. Walk five miles or sit in a nice warm car? I asked myself. “Fine.” I decided to take the offer. He smiled a bit and offered me his hand, which I declined. I really wasn’t in the mood for anything like that. I walked up to their garage and hopped in one of the cars and waited for Jasper to get in. It took him a minute, he was probably confused, but he eventually got in the car.

On the way home I was silent. I could see Jasper looking at me out of the corner of my eye. He looked worried. “Haydee?” He said my name quietly. “Hm?” Was my reply. “Are you okay?” He asked as he pulled into my driveway. “Just peachy.” I said and opened the car door. “Haydee?” He called my name on more time as I got out of the car. “What?” I asked. He smiled, “Sweet dreams.” I shut the car door and walked into my house.

The first thing I did when I got into my room was lock my window. I did not want him watching me sleep anymore for now. I plopped down on my bed and grabbed the letter under my pillow. I read it again and realized something… Jasper had been hitting on me and flirting with me… Had Alice found out? Is that why she left, because Jasper liked someone else? Wait… Jasper likes me? That was kind of hard to believe… Then I remembered his behaviors towards me. The winking, inviting me over, complimenting me, wanting to hold my hand. It must be that. I suddenly realized how to get Alice back. I would have to stop talking to Jasper. I wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence. From this day on, Jasper Hale did not exist. No matter how much it would hurt me or him, it would be for the best. Alice was his soul mate, and she needed to come back. Now.