I Don't Like Your Boyfriend

After the whole thing with my aunt I went back to my room. I listened to a lot of sad songs. I cried again. I just couldn’t help it. I felt so betrayed and hurt and I knew it would be a long time before my heart would heal. I trusted Sterling with all that I had. He made me feel like I meant nothing to him. He didn’t tell his parents, and he fooled me by getting fake ones.

I somehow knew the news of the breakup would reach everyone and sure enough there were calls from Luke and Lora, but I ignored them all. I wasn’t ready to talk to them about it. I rather just deal with it on my own.

My therapist told me it wasn’t healthy for me. That I should express myself to others instead of shutting them out.

It was around six in the evening when I decided to go out. I sneaked out through the window and used the tree to get to the ground.

I walked around aimlessly. The pain in my chest would not go away. Could my heart truly be broken? It felt like it because every time I took a breath it hurt like I had a spear in my heart, not that I knew how it felt, but I had a pretty good idea.

A car pulled up next to me. It was Luke.

He got out of the car and we hugged each other. He didn’t ask for questions. He just held me. We got inside of his car and we headed to a burger place we both knew so well.

“Chocolate or strawberry?” Luke asked how I wanted my milkshake.

“Hmm, let me think,” I said sarcastically.

He laughed. “That’ll be a chocolate milkshake, large.”

I grinned. “You are truly my best friend.”

“Forever and always, why haven’t you returned my calls?” he asked as he paid.

“I was just busy.”

He didn’t ask any more questions. We sat down and waited for our orders.

I drummed my fingers on the table to the beat of Flash of the Blade. Luke just kept giving me that blank look on his face. I knew that look. He wanted me to talk, but I didn’t want to break down in the middle of the fast food place. I just wanted to enjoy the night out.

I continued to drum my fingers and looked anywhere but at him, but his eyes were like magnets to mine.

“What?” I finally snapped. “What do you want me to say, Luke? That Sterling ripped my heart out and stomped on it?! That it hurts to talk about him. That I really don’t want to talk about it because it’s still too soon?! Well, I don’t want to talk about it because it hurts and it’s too soon.” I ranted.

He gave me a sad smile.

“At least I know you’re human.”

I sent him a death glare from hell. He only laughed it off. Our order was called and he brought the food to us. The sugar and fat would make me forget.

I was too much of a wussy to try drugs, so the fat and sugar was my escape.

Luke and I started to talk about old times. Times before Sterling and Antonio. A time when it was just him, Lora, me, and Coraline. A time when everything was so much simpler. We talked about the pranks we pulled all around town and how much fun we used to have.

School was a breeze because we were the best of friends.

It felt so good to recall old times of my twin sister and not have my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach.

Eventually, we got back to talking about Sterling.

“What are you going to do?” he asked concerned.

“Move on, couples break up every single day, Luke. We were no exception.”

“But you guys seemed like the perfect couple, you rarely fought and you both always looked so damn happy.”

“Everyone has skeletons in their closets, I wasn’t perfect either, Luke.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

I looked around the place to make sure no one was listening. “I… cheated on him.”

His eyes widened. “But we only kissed once and--”

“It wasn’t you… well yes you, but… it was someone else too,” I admitted and then realized how I messed up.

The hurt in his eyes was evident and guilt washed over me. I wasn’t any better than Sterling. I kind of led Luke on.

“With whom?” he whispered harshly like a jealous boyfriend.

“Forget it, it was a mistake.” I said and now my burger tasted bitter.

“You can’t drop a bomb like that on me and not tell me, Eddy,” he scolded me with a hard look he rarely gave me.

I shook my head. “No, please forget I said anything. It’ll only cause more problems.”

He just stared at me for a while.

“It was Antonio.”

I was extremely surprised he figured it out so easily. I talked to other guys besides him, Sterling and Antonio. How did he get is so fast?

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you and the way you look at him,” his voice was tight and looked like he was holding back.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“Was he with Lora when it happened?”

I didn’t answer him, so that gave him his answer. He shook his head and I saw his eyes get watery. He placed his hand over his forehead to shield his eyes.

“God, Luke, I’m so sorry! Please, please… it was… a mistake. Why do you think I’ve been avoiding Antonio like the black plague?”

“Lora is your best friend… practically your sister and she respected you and Sterling and you couldn’t?!”

His voice raised and everyone in the place looked at us.

“You don’t have to yell at me.”

“Yes! Yes I do, Eddy, because I have loved you for the longest time and I think that… there’s a slight hope of us being together and someone always gets in between. I love you! How could you not see?” he sounded very desperate.

“I do know which is why I hate myself for telling you about this. I shouldn’t have.”

“Well, I’m glad you did because it would’ve been foolish of me to hold on to something that is never going to happen.”

He didn’t say anything after that. I didn’t want to make things worse.

I didn’t even finish my milkshake.

He took me back home without a word coming out of his lips.

Disappointment was so much worse than anger.

I didn’t go back inside. I groaned loudly and cursed at the sky.

“Stupid… life!” I shouted.

“Talking to yourself is clearly a sign of insanity,” Antonio’s voice came. I was never so happy to see him. “Luke looked pissed, what did you say to him?”

“Oh, nothing,” I said kicking the air, “I just told him about us and he freaked out.”

He didn’t look surprised or angry.

“What did you expect? The guy is in love with you.”

I gave him an annoyed look, but not towards him, about the situation.

“You know?”

“Since the second I met him and saw the he looked at you. That guy… adores you almost as much as I do,” he said and placed his hands in his pockets.

“What do I do?” I asked tiredly. “My brain… and my heart are in so much pain.”

“I’m the wrong person to ask, Eddy, because my answer would be… to accept to be my girl. But it’s too soon, I know that, which is why I’m the wrong person to ask about moving on.”

I ran a hand through my wild hair. “Ugh! Life was simpler before…” I stopped myself. I was going to say ‘before you’.

“Before what?” he asked he didn’t know what I was going to say and that was good.

“Before I found about Sterling,” I lied. “What time is it?”

“Nine,” he answered.

“I should sneak back in.”

He laughed.