Ruby Rooms

Her gaze moved back and forth between the photo and the man standing in front of her. She felt like she was suffocating. Her breath was caught in her throat and her brain was too busy trying to make sense of what The Reverend had just told her, to remind her to breathe.

It couldn't be true because the truth was impossible. The man in the photo was dead. She had watched him die. And she had felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. For fifteen years she had battled with crushing grief; trying to block out what had happened. Overtime, work came to fill the hole that was inside of her when he was cruelly ripped from her life.

And now she was supposed to believe that he was back? She wouldn't. Not when she had worked so hard to forget him and get her life back on track. The man in front of her was lying.

"Say something Adie---please."

The sound of his voice brought on a wave of nausea. It so familiar, but yet so different. It didn't sound like the Reverend; the voice that she had come to find so comforting. But it didn't sound like the man in photo either.

It had been a long time since she had heard HIS voice.

"Adrienne. Talk to me."

Forcing herself to look into his eyes; eyes that she saw clearly for the first time in the three months that she had been in LA; she shook her head.

"No. I won't believe it." Her voice shook, along with the rest of her body. "This man here is dead." She threw the photo into the sand and turned her back on the scene.

"It was taken the first time I came back to Minnesota after the tour---" he shouted after her. "The photo---we sat on that dumpster all night long. You were pissed at me because you thought I hadn't recognised you and I spent all night convincing you that I did."

She knew the night that he was talking about. How could she forget? It was the first time she had seen Him in over a year. He had organised a tour of her home town just so he could see her. But when they finally came face to face, He stared at her with vacant eyes.

"He doesn't remember me," she had said to her friend.

"I do! I do!"

She remembered how he had grabbed her by the waist and pulled her so close into his body that she felt his chest rise and fall with every breath he took.

"I do remember you! How could I forget?"

And then they went outside and sat on that dumpster and talked into the early hours of the next morning; just as he had said.

"It was the same night that I convinced you to come out to California for the Summer---so we could try and be a proper couple," the wind carried his voice to her ears once more.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" She raced back towards him, incensed. Her arm extended and she slapped him hard across the face. "You have NO right to say these things to me when you know SHIT about my life!"

She stooped to pick up the photograph and held it close to his face.

"This couple here are long gone. He died. And when he did, so did a part of me. Now I don't know just how you managed to get a hold of this photo but the mind games you're playing have got to stop---NOW!"

When she turned to leave again, a strong hand grabbed hold of the top of her arm and forced her back round to look at him.

"Why are you doing this to me? Just let me go." Sobs began to rise in her throat.

"I wish I was playing a game on you Adie, I really do. I hate myself for making you feel this way; for turning your life upside down. But you have GOT to believe me. I'm Billie Joe Armstrong and I'm here with you now---"

"But---you died! I saw you. I felt the blood pour from your head and into my lap. I felt you go cold! I heard the paramedics say that there was nothing else they could do! You DIED! And I left!"

She tried to wriggle from his grasp but he held her firm. She felt the heat from his fingers burn through her skin. She hated to admit it but he seemed so real.

"If you give me just five minutes then I can explain everything."

"I can't do this. I don't know if I want to do this. Losing you---if you ARE Billie Joe---was the most painful experience I've ever been through---and if it turns out you're lying then I swear it'll kill me---"

"I'm not lying! I swear to God I'm not lying! Please---I only need five minutes."

She sunk to her knees, covered her face with her hands and sobbed uncontrollably. The Reverend or rather, Billie Joe, also dropped to his knees and tried his best to wrap her in a hug. His stomach dropped when she tensed and moved away from him.

"Just talk," she snapped. "Just do it."

With his heart still pounding as wildly as it had done when he handed her the photograph, he began.

"Most things about that night are a little blurry. The last thing I properly remember is trying to convince you I was sober enough to drive. I remember you scowling at me but you got in the car anyway---Mike has had to fill in the rest for me. He says that I was too busy yelling at Tre and trying to push him back into the back seat to notice that the car had strayed onto the pavement. He said that if I hadn't hit that telegraph pole then I'd have only hit another car."

"What kind of excuse is that?!"

"It's not an excuse---I'm just trying to tell it like it is. Anyway---Mike says that it took the three of you to drag me out of the car. That it was only by a weird twist of fate that only my side of the car was damaged---"

"There was so much glass in your hair and in your head---"

He was surprised at her interruption. But he thought it best to let her carry on---her side of the story was important.

"I thought you were dead already---you were so white. And cold. But as soon as I put your head on my lap you opened your eyes. I love you, you said. You told me that I'd be Mrs Armstrong one day---"

He reached out one hand to stroke her face, but she dodged his touch.

"It didn't take long for the paramedics to arrive," she continued, her voice monotone. "At that point you were barely conscious, you'd lost so much blood. Mike had to lift me away from you so they could work on you. But I knew---well at least I thought I knew---that it was pointless. As soon as I heard them say that it was too late I broke away from Mike and I ran. I ran all the way back into the city and got a cab to the airport. And then I got the first flight back home. I changed my number. I didn't open any letters. I didn't speak to anyone."

Her voice dropped so the only sound around them was the wind whistling between their bodies.

"You were right to think I was dead," he picked the conversation back up again. "The paramedics said my heart stopped for nearly five minutes. It was only with Mike's badgering that they tried one more time to restart it. And that time it worked. They brought me back and rushed me straight to the hospital. It took three blood transfusions and thirty stitches in and around my head to get me back on my feet again. But at that point---you were gone."

He crawled over to her and took her hands in his own. This time she didn't pull away. His thumbs drew circles on the backs of her palms while his eyes glared intensely at her face, trying to work out what she was thinking.

"I tried---dear God I tried to contact you. I needed you to know that I was OK. That I wanted us to pick up where we left off---but it was like you had disappeared off the face of the earth. I know it sounds so cliché but the days turned into months and then the months turned into years and then the next thing I know---ten years had passed and I HAD to find a way to carry on without you. And that's when I formed the Foxboro Hot Tubs."

"But what about Green Day?"

"Green Day reminded me so much of you. It was too painful. Being me, Billie Joe Armstrong was too painful. I had to come up with something different. So I bleached my hair, bought myself a pair of shades and whole lotta wine---and that's how I've lived ever since."

He noticed that her sobs had ceased. Her eyes were still glazed with tears but a tranquillity had descended upon her that made his heart skip with hope. She hadn't turned and run. Surely that was a good sign? The fact that she was still there in front of him, hands in his, meant that she believed him?

"The night we first had sex in the Ruby Room, I had no idea it was you. It wasn't until after you watched the show and I walked you home that it hit me---"

"That was three months ago!"

"I know---I know! Believe me, you have no idea how much it hurt to keep it from you. But Mike, you remember Mike Dirnt? Well he said that keeping the truth from you was the best idea because if I told you who I was, then it'd fuck everything up---"

She suddenly jumped to her feet, face livid. "Well keeping it from me hasn't done much good either, has it?! If anything, keeping it from me has ruined whatever we managed to build between us!"

"Please don't say that, Adrienne! Please don't walk away. I know I've told you so many lies and I really, sincerely apologise for keeping the truth from you for this long. But my feelings for you have grown so, SO strong that I just can't hide it anymore. You meant everything to me back then, Adie. And you still do today. So PLEASE don't leave."

He could have sworn he felt his heart break in two when she shook her head and turned away.