The Life We Once Knew

Jessica woke up early the next morning. It was her first day of high school, and she had a hard time sleeping. Her nerves were driving her insane. She looked over at the small clock on the bedside table. It read 5 a.m. She groaned and laid back down on the bed. It only took her about 30 minutes to get ready, if that. What was she supposed to do for the other 2 hours? She walked to the window, and looked out. There was no sign of the welcome home party that took place the evening before. When the others left, Derek and Spencer stayed behind to help clean up. It was fun. Jessica had always been good at reading people, and from what she could tell, Spencer was shy and socially awkward. Which was fine by her, because she was too, until she got to know people. Derek, however, oozed confidence. He was very talkative, and succeeded in cheering her up pretty quickly. She smiled to herself, remembering the huge smile on his face when she asked him if he was dating Penelope. He shook his head, and answered no, they were just friends. Jessica couldn’t help but wonder if Derek really did want to go out with her sister. He kept staring at her, and smiling, and they looked at each other like they knew something no one else did. It was the sweetest thing Jessica had ever seen.

Jessica sighed, walked over to the bed, and laid down. It was now 5:10 a.m. She glared at the clock, hoping the evil look would scare the clock into making time go faster. It didn’t work. She rolled onto her side, and buried her head in her pillow, closing her eyes.

“Wake up, sleepy head! Time for school!” Jessica opened her eyes and closed them just as quickly, because the sun blinded her. Penelope was standing at the end of the bed, smiling down at her.

“Rise and shine, love!”

Jessica groaned and rolled over to look at the clock. It was 7 a.m. She must have fallen asleep. She sat up slowly, and stretched.

Jessica looked over at Penelope and smiled. “Good morning to you, too.”

Penelope smiled, and looked around awkwardly. “So, I guess I’m going to leave you to get ready. I’m going to make some coffee and read for a bit. Let me know when you’re ready.”

Jessica nodded, and Penelope left quickly. Jessica stood, and walked over to her bag, which she never had the chance to unpack. She pulled out a purple, v-neck, long sleeved shirt, and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans. She looked at the clock. It was almost ten minutes after seven. No time to take a shower. She shrugged, and put her straight, red hair, into a ponytail, then got dressed quickly. Jessica grabbed her backpack, which she brought with her from Seattle, slipped on her black ballet flats, then walked out of her bedroom, and into the bathroom across the hall. She grabbed her eyeliner and mascara out of her backpack, and put some on. Might as well make some sort of impression, she thought to herself glumly. She hated High School. Jessica pulled out her perfume next. After spraying herself with it, and putting it back into her backpack, she walked into the living room, where Penelope was waiting on her.

“Ready to go?”

Jessica shrugged. “Ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

Penelope stood, and smiled reassuringly. “I’m sure everything will be fine! Don’t worry about it, okay?”

Jessica smiled sarcastically. “Yeah, because High School is just awesome!”

Penelope laughed, and patted her on the back as they left the house. “It’s hell, but it’ll be over soon. Just this last year!”

Jessica laughed as they got into the car. They rode to the High School in silence, not quite sure what to say to each other at this point. Jessica played with her thumbs, and bit her bottom lip nervously. She wasn’t good at making friends. It wasn’t kindergarten, where letting someone borrow your crayons instantly made you best buddies. This was High School, where making friends consisted on having things in common. Like drugs, sex, and looks. She swore to herself she wasn’t going to become who she was. She had done weed, and didn’t like it, or the feeling it gave her. A sense of calm, that drove her insane. She’d get drunk, and run away, to escape her problems. But now things were going to change. She was going to change.

Penelope broke into Jessica’s thoughts. “Well, here we are.”

Jessica looked up, and saw the High School. The ten minute drive felt like seconds. She watched as kids looked into the car, trying to figure out who she was, then went back to whatever it is they were doing before.

Jessica opened the car door, and started to get out, when Penelope grabbed her arm.

“Have a good day, okay? And if you need anything, call me.”

Jessica nodded, and got out of the car. She watched Penelope drive away, and then turned, to face her hell.

She walked up the steps and into the school, pulling out the locker number and combination given to her the night before. She looked desperately for her locker, unable to find it. Ten minutes later, the bell rang. Jessica still hadn’t found her locker. She stood in the middle of the hallway, while other teens pushed passed her and yelled obscenities at her because she wasn’t moving. Soon, they had all reached their classes, and Jessica stood in the hallway alone. She walked slowly down the hall, taking in the silence. After passing two corners, she found her locker. It was gray and dingy, obviously having been abused by its previous owner. Then again, the others didn’t look much better. She sighed, and shoved her book bag into her locker, not bothering to get her first period books out. She had already missed half the class at this point, what harm would it do to miss it entirely? She walked back to the entrance, and went to sit down on the grass, under a tree. She started thinking about her mom. Was she upset with her for leaving? Jessica loved her mom, but hated that she wouldn’t do anything to help her. Wouldn’t try to leave her father. She couldn’t handle it anymore. She tried to end it all twice, but failed. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe she wasn’t supposed to leave the earth yet. Maybe some divine power knew there was so much more out there for her. Something she didn’t know. Maybe she’d find the answer in D.C. Leaning back against the tree, Jessica pulled up her sleeve, revealing fresh cut marks, just made a few nights before, in Seattle. She ran her fingers across them gently.

“Oh my god, you guys, come look at this cutter!”

Jessica pulled down her sleeve quickly, and stood up. A tall, blonde girl was smirking at her.

“Do you really think you’re “bad”, just because you cut and skip class?”

Jessica glared at her. “Who are you, and what is your problem? I didn’t do shit to you!”

The blonde girl continued to smirk. “Aw, are you depressed? Is that why you cut yourself? Did someone hurt your feelings?”

Jessica swallowed the lump in her throat. “So, I’m guessing you must be the stereotypical ‘mean girl’?”

The blonde rolled her eyes. “You could say that. Although I don’t go by ‘mean girl’, I go by Liz. So are you the stereotypical ‘everyone hates me, I’m going to commit suicide, boo hoo girl’?

Jessica walked toward her and shoved her. “You don’t know anything about me!”

Liz glared at her, and slapped Jessica across the face. “Don’t you fucking touch me, suicidal bitch. God, will you please go kill yourself already?”

Jessica closed her eyes for a second, pushing back tears. “Fuck you.” She then ran for the entrance.

“You really did mess with the wrong person.” Someone yelled, as Jessica ran in. She didn’t stop until she reached her locker.

Once she reached her locker, she struggled to open it. Blinking back tears, she tried to see her fingers, but couldn’t. After fiddling with it for a few minutes, it finally opened. Right then, the bell rang. Students came filing out, and shoving ensued. Jessica grabbed her bag, and ran out the entrance.

Once outside, she ran out of the parking lot, and didn’t stop running until she could no longer see the school. She walked two more blocks, not having any idea where she was going. Thankfully, Jessica spotted a convenient store, with a pay phone sitting outside of it. She ran over to it, and pulled two quarters out of her bag. She had brought about two dollars with her from Seattle, and now she was glad she did. She put the quarters in, and pulled out the journal the members of the BAU had given her. Inside, someone wrote down Penelope’s cell phone number for her. She dialed it, and was hoping she answered. It went straight to voicemail. Jessica was almost in tears again, afraid she wouldn’t be able to get back to Penelope’s. She had paid no attention to the roads they had taken this morning, consumed in her own thoughts.

Her hands were shaking as she pulled two more quarters out of her bag. She couldn’t waste her money on calling Penelope, because her phone was off, apparently. She looked at the list of numbers, and decided to call Spencer. She had a feeling he wouldn't judge her.

“Hello?”

Jessica breathed a sigh of relief. “Spencer? This is Jessica, Penelope’s sister.”

“Hey. Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

“I-I will tell you about it later. Can you just pick me up?”

Jessica heard Spencer sigh. “Um, have you tried Penelope?”

“Yeah, I did. But her phone went straight to voicemail.”

“Oh, that’s right! She went on assignment for Hotch. Okay, um, I’m not doing anything right now, so where are you?”

Jessica turned to see the sign. “Mr. Joes? On 5th avenue?”

She heard Reid sigh even louder. “Okay, I want you to wait right there. That’s not the best side of town.”

Jessica looked around. What Spencer told her had her paranoid.

“Okay, I will, bye.”

She hung up and walked over to the corner of the convenient store, sitting down on the sidewalk. She pulled out a pencil and her journal, and started drawing. Just then, she heard someone walking over to her.

“Hey, baby, shouldn’t you be in school?”

She looked up at the man, who looked to be in his 50’s. He had on baggy clothes and his hair looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in weeks, maybe months. Jessica was starting to feel really uncomfortable.

“Um, yeah, probably.”

The man smiled at her. “Listen, do you need a ride somewhere? I could drop you off.”

Jessica started putting things back in her bag. “Um, no thanks, a friend is coming to get me.”

The man bent down and leered at her. “Come on, sweetie, I’ll be a lot more fun than a friend…”

Jessica stood up. “No, thanks.”

She started to walk away, when the man grabbed her arm. “I’m going to give you a ride, okay?” He started pulling her toward his beat-up looking truck. “Now get in.”

Right then, she watched as a car sped over and almost ran into a tree. The person jumped out, and ran over. It was Spencer.

“She’s with me, so I suggest you let her go.”

The man sneered at Spencer. “And what are you going to do about it, pretty boy?”

Spencer reached into his back pocket, and pulled out pepper spray, spraying the man in the face. The man let go of Jessica and fell on his knees to the ground, pressing his palms against his eyes.

Spencer grabbed Jessica’s arm. “Come on, let's go.”

Jessica nodded, and they ran back to Spencer’s car. Once they were both in, he sped off.

When they reached a red light, Spencer looked over at her.

“Are you okay?”

Jessica nodded. “Are you okay?”

Spencer laughed. “Yeah. I do this for a living, so it was nothing.”

Jessica smiled to herself. She had a feeling Spencer was trying to seem all big and bad.

“So, tell me. Why did you leave school?”

Jessica looked down at her lap, and started to play with her thumbs. “This girl said things to me, and it really hurt my feelings. God, that sounds like such a bad excuse.”

Spencer drove a bit further, and parked outside a grocery store.

“Let’s sit here, and you can tell me about it. If you want to, that is.”

Jessica nodded. She could now tell for sure that he wasn’t going to judge her.

“M-my home life wasn’t great, to say the least, and um, I did some things to get rid of the feelings I felt towards everyone, and myself.”

Spencer nodded. “What did you do?”

Jessica looked up and smiled weakly. “I would cut myself.” She pulled up her sleeves, revealing ten or more horizontal cut marks.

Spencer ran his finger over them, then pulled back quickly. “Um, sorry.”

Jessica smiled at him. “It’s fine. I haven’t cut since I left Seattle. I don’t seem to have a reason to, anymore.”

Spencer smiled at her. “That’s good. So what happened at school?”

“Well, some girl saw and started making fun of me. Sarcastically asking if ‘I was depressed, if someone hurt my feelings’. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it really hurt. Because she was right.”

Spencer put his hand on her arm. “That does sound like much. Verbal and emotional abuse is one of the biggest reasons why teens commit suicide.”

Jessica smiled grimly. “Well, the first two times was due to my home life.”

Spencer looked taken aback. “So you tried before…twice?”

“Yeah. But I’m going to change my life. I’m tired of feeling like that. Depressed, alone, like no one cares. I want to live my life like any other teen. Happy and carefree.”

Spencer smiled. “Jessica, you’re not alone. Penelope loves you, you know that right? Even though she hasn’t seen you in years, she never forgot about you. She cares, too. And I’m here for you, and I care. You always have someone to talk to, okay?”

Jessica felt tears running down her cheeks. “Thank you.”

Spencer smiled. “Anytime.”

Suddenly, Spencer’s phone rang. He answered it quickly. Jessica played with her thumbs, and stared out the window until Spencer was off the phone. She didn’t want to seem nosy.

Spencer hung up, and turned toward her. “I’m needed back at the BAU, so I need to go drop you off at home, okay?”

Jessica nodded, and spent the next 15 minutes with the most reckless driver she had ever met. Once they reached her house, she got out quickly.

“Wow, Spencer, your driving is, um, nice. I would’ve talked more, but I was trying not to puke.”

Spencer laughed. “Sorry! I’m not the best driver. They never let me drive at the BAU.” He made a sad face jokingly.

Jessica smiled. “Aw, well if it helps, I think your driving has a lot of personality.”

Spencer laughed. “Thanks. So I better go. Are you going to be okay here by yourself?”

Jessica nodded. “Yeah, I’m going to eat lunch, watch some tv, and just hang out I suppose.”

“Well, Penelope will be back in a couple of hours.”

Jessica smiled. “Okay, bye.”

“Bye.” With that, Spencer drove off. Jessica slung her backpack over her shoulder and entered her house, smiling. Jessica was determined to start over, and with their help, she was sure she could.