The Life We Once Knew

“Sorry about all the books everywhere. Things are not very tidy around here.” Spencer laughed nervously. “I’m not really here much to clean. That’s also why nothing is in the fridge, except for juice. But I do have Ramen Noodles in the cabinet.”

Jessica laughed. “So you travel a lot?”

“Yes. We are just one of the many teams in the FBI, so we go to whatever case is assigned to us. It’s usually suddenly announced. I have a suitcase in my closet, full of clothes, so whenever we are assigned somewhere, I can just grab it and go.”

Jessica nodded. “Will you get called to go on an assignment while I’m here?”

Spencer shook his head. “No, we are assigned to a local case.”

“L-local? Like, in the state? Or in the city?”

“The city.”

“So those files, the ones I dropped, with that picture… that’s the local case?”

“It is. But everything will be okay. We’ll catch this guy in a few days, trust me.”

Jessica moved books over and set down on the couch, her mind racing. Knowing there
was a killer running rampant in the city was frightening. D.C was a large city, no doubt about that. But knowing that something terrifying was out there in the city, taking lives, well, it made it seem a whole lot smaller.

“H-how long has it been going on now?”

Spencer sighed. “About six months now.”

“So how do you know you’ll get him in a few days?”

Spencer bent down, and held her face in his hands gently. “Because we’ve got his name. His whole identity. Now all we have to do is find him.”

Jessica smiled. “O-okay. I’m sure I make it look like I freak out over nothing.”

Spencer stood up, and laughed. “Well, it’s not ‘nothing’, per say, but you do freak out.”

Jessica stood up and hit Spencer in the side playfully. “Whatever, like you don’t!”

Spencer smiled. “No, actually, I am a very calm person in most circumstances.”

Jessica laughed. “Sure, sure.”

Spencer smiled down at her. This week was going to be hard. He was too shy to make a move on her, but having her around him constantly for a week. Well, that would be hard. He would probably get so frustrated that he would do something on impulse. And he didn’t want to do anything on impulse. What he wanted was to keep control at all times. Control of himself, mostly.

“Well, I am starving! I think I will eat some noodles that have been collecting dust in your
cabinet!”

Spencer grabbed her arm as she walked toward the kitchen. “Well, I, um, thought we could go somewhere to eat, if you would like?”

Jessica smiled, “Sure.”

“Do you like Chinese?”

Jessica nodded, and watched Spencer as he walked into his room to get his coat. Gosh, this week was going to be hard for her. She wanted to jump his bones the moment she saw him, and now, here they were, in his house, alone. This was not going to be easy at all. Jessica was excited to get started on her schoolwork. It gave her something to focus on. Other than Spencer.

“You ready to go?”

Jessica nodded and followed Spencer to his car.

The ride to the Chinese place was silent, but surprisingly to them both, not awkward at all. It was a comfortable silence. By the time they got to the restaurant, Jessica had to pull herself out of the seat, because she had sank down and relaxed in it.

“Well, how do you like the restaurant?” Spencer asked, once their orders were taken.

“It’s cute.”

Spencer smiled. “I come here whenever I’m home.”

“Do you ever cook?”

“Not really.” He laughed. “I know it’s unhealthy, but usually I eat fast food. It’s quick, and I have time to do other things while home.”

“Like read?” Jessica smiled.

“Exactly.” Spencer laughed.

“How do you stay so lean though!?”

Spencer laughed. “Well, we run it off.”

Jessica laughed. “I wish I were as lean as you. My whole family is curvy. Genetics, I guess.”

Spencer smiled. “I-I don’t think you should be lean at all! Your curves, they, well, look really good on you.”

Jessica blushed, and looked down. She was going to respond, but before she had the chance to, the waitress returned with their food and drinks.

“So, do you like the food?”

Jessica nodded, because she couldn’t respond with a mouthful of noodles.

Spencer smiled. “I’m glad you like it.”

Jessica took a sip of her iced tea, then smiled at Spencer. “So, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Well, I don’t know much about you at all. But I really would like to get to know you. So, I guess I’ll start from the beginning. What was your childhood like?”

Spencer looked down. “What childhood?”

Jessica got up, and moved to sit beside Spencer. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Spencer shrugged. “It’s fine. It’s just…I usually don’t talk about it. Not many people know.”

Jessica rubbed his back. “If it’s hard for you to talk about, then that’s fine.”

Spencer shook his head. “No, I want to tell you. Well, my mom is schizophrenic. My dad left us because he couldn’t deal with her anymore. I haven’t seen him since. My mom though, was, well is, smart. I get a lot of it from her. She loves reading, almost as much as I do. She used to read to me. And sometimes when she wasn’t “in the mood” to read to me, I would read to her. As I got older, though, she started having more episodes. The way she was living was not healthy at all. When I was 18, I-I had her put in a mental institution. All I remember was her begging me not to make them take her. I just stood there, crying, and mumbling how sorry I was, while I watched them have to drag her out the door. I-I still feel so guilty about it.”

Jessica wrapped her arms around Spencer, who was almost in tears. “I’m so sorry. You did the right thing though. She’s much better off now than she would have been.”

Spencer laid his chin on Jessica‘s head. “I’ve spent years telling myself that. I know it’s true, I just have a hard time believing it.”

Jessica nodded. "I know. I can tell. I cannot imagine going through what you went through. I admire you for being who you are now. It made you strong."

Spencer laughed. "I think Derek would argue with you over that."

Jessica chuckled. "I don't mean physically, I mean mentally. You survived. You determined to not let your smarts go to waste, and used your brain to become who you are. You've saved many lives, I'm sure. As well as your mothers."

Spencer turned to look at Jessica, tears swelling in his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Jessica smiled. "Anytime." She hugged Spencer, despite the fact that sitting in the booth made it difficult.

He pulled her as close to him as he could, molding his body around hers. He smelled in her perfume and smiled, laying his chin on the top of her head. He felt so...relieved. He had never told anyone so much about him, especially someone he had not known for long.

Jessica relaxed against his chest, letting his long, lean arms pull her into him. She smiled to herself. She loved the fact that he revealed so much of himself to her. She wanted to do the same. She had never told anyone how awful her childhood really was, and she felt the sudden urge to let it out. Now, to him. She pulled gently out of his embrace.

"Spencer, would you like to hear about how my childhood was?"

Spencer knew some about her past, why she came to live with her sister. He knew she didn't have the easiest life in Seattle. He was curious to know the details of her life prior to coming to D.C, but he didn't want her to think she had to tell him.

"Only if you want to tell me. You don't have to tell me a thing if you don't want to."

Jessica smiled. "I know, but I want to tell you."

Spencer smiled. "Okay."

"Well, my mom and dad had my sister and I far apart, so we weren't really close growing up. In fact, she left right when she turned 18. I don't have many memories of her in my life before now, but I do remember her taking care of me, because my mom was always out of the house, and my father was always drunk. After she left, it was still that way. I basically took care of myself. As I got older, I became friends with some...not so great people. I would spend days away from home, getting high and drunk and doing other things to forget about the pain of it all. Whenever I couldn't sleep on the couch at someone's home, I would sleep in the park. The cops found me a few times and took me home. My mom cared, and was genuinely worried about me, but not enough to try to stop me, or help me. I began cutting a few months after all this started, and tried to commit suicide a couple of times. After a second failed attempt, I went to sleep on a park bench. I was woken up by the cops. At that point, I never wanted to return home. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to live in that house. I sobbed and begged the cops not to take me home. They took me to the station instead, and sent me to a foster home while they tracked down Penelope. And here I am."

Spencer frowned. "I am so so sorry. You told me I was strong, but I am not nearly as strong as you. Look at you. You went through all this, only to pull yourself out, and now you are determining to make you life better. I'm in awe of your strength."

Jessica blushed. "Thank you. But the battle isn't over. I still have a long, long way to go." She rubbed her thumb over the scars on her wrist."

Spencer hugged her to him. "You will win the battle. I will do anything I can to make sure of that."

Jessica smiled to herself, and snuggled herself into Spencer's lean chest. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to meet him. No matter what happened between them, she knew she could always count on him, and that feeling made her feel like she could conquer the world.