We Don't Believe In Second Chances

After we had gone to McDonald's because Bre was starving, we went down to the beach near our house. I needed the sound of the sea and the fresh air. I know that may sound weird, that I need fresh air even when I'm outside; but the air at the beach was better. It was cleaner and more.. Untouched.

Bre and Zacky had gone and sat on the wall, so that left me and Jimmy alone. I smiled at that thought as Jimmy walked up and placed his arms around my shoulders.

"What you thinking about?" Jimmy asked, as I lent back resting against his tall frame.

"Just how much I missed this place, and why I left in the first place." I replied, taking in a deep breath of cool ocean air.

"Did you want to talk about it?" Jimmy asked, pulling me down, so we were sitting on the sand. I took another deep breath, holding it in before replying.

"I'm sure you don't want to listen to me rant." I said, moving around so that I was facing Jimmy; so I could see what he was saying.

"I'm sure I do, now shoot munchkin." Jimmy smiled, I laughed and started telling the tale of who I was and where I came from.

"Well, I was born here in Huntington, but moved to Australia when I was about seven, I think. I have no idea why, I guess mom never really told me that part. I guess that it may have had something to do with my dad." I looked up at Jimmy, expecting him to be really uninterested, but to my surprise he was looking so deep in thought about what I was telling him. I sighed and continued telling my story.

"So when we were in Australia, it was kinda hard. You know, living on the other side of the world and never really being able to see your best friend. But somehow mom and I managed. About three years ago, mom and I flew back over here for a visit; and it was then I think that she decided that we needed to be back here. It was always hard when we were in Australia, I always used to get into trouble at school. I would constantly be in the Principal's office.." I took a shaky breath and Jimmy grabbed my hand and held it in his. I looked up at him and forced a smile onto my face.

"You don't need to continue, if you don't want to Cass." Jimmy said, soothingly. I nodded but continued anyway.

"The night before mom and I were to fly out here, I went down to the store to get something for dinner. So while I was down there, I was approached by these two random guys. Obviously trying to hit on me." Jimmy's hand tightened around mine when I mentioned this.

"But me being the person that I am, they never really got a chance before I beat the shit out of them. They were both out on the ground when I drove away. When I got home mom was pretty annoyed that I beat people up again, but she just warned me not to do it when I got here." I said, finishing up my story.

"Remind me never to piss you off." Jimmy said, looking directly into my eyes.

"I would never beat you up Jimmy." I smiled, and this time it was truly a smile that I meant.

"That's good to hear, I don't want to be beaten up." Jimmy laughed, I smiled and playfully punched him in the arm.

"How could you!?" Jimmy yelled, getting up from the sand and backing away from me. I looked at him, he actually looked really serious.

"Jimmy, I..I didn't mean to." I mumbled, looking down at the sand. I picked up a handful and held it up. Watching as every tiny grain fell to the ground. I had noticed that it was very quiet, I looked over my shoulder to try and see where Jimmy had gone. But before I could even make a sound or even breathe I was lifted up off the ground and thrown over someones shoulder.

"What the fuck!?" I screamed, when I noticed that it was Jimmy.

"Gosh, you have a set of lungs on you, don't ya?" Jimmy laughed, as he stared to walk towards the water.

"NO..No no no! Not the water!" I yelled, and tried getting out of his grip.

"Yes, yes yes. What's wrong with the water?" Jimmy asked.

"I have a phobia!" I screamed, making Jimmy stop. "You do?" he asked.

"YES!" I yelled. At that Jimmy started walking back towards the sand. When we got back to the wall, Jimmy brought me down and sat me on the wall.

"Cassie, I'm really sorry." Jimmy said, looking at me with so much hurt in his eyes.

"It's okay Jimmy, you didn't know. Don't worry about it." I replied, looking into Jimmy's eyes.

"No it's not. Fuck! I'm so sorry!" Jimmy yelled, getting really frustrated with himself. I shook my head and placed me arms around his torso.

"Jimmy, just shut up." I said, making my grip on his body tighter. Jimmy wrapped his arms around me and still continued to say sorry. I thought for a second and made a split decision. I pulled away from Jimmy, and looked up at him. Just as he was about to apologize again, I pressed my lips to his. I was the one to break away from the kiss, looking down at the ground as soon as I pulled away.

"Wh..What was that for?" Jimmy asked, looking really confused. I didn't reply. "Cassie?" Jimmy asked again, and when I didn't reply again, he placed his hand underneath me chin and lifted my face so that he could see me. I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't have to be faced with the horror of what was to come. I remember the last time I did this. I got hit. To be honest I was scared of Jimmy right now.

"Cassie? Look at me please?" Jimmy asked, quietly. I had a mental fight with my self before I gave up and looked into Jimmy's waiting eyes.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it ever again." I said, before Jimmy could say anything.

"Cassie, what are you sorry for, you only kissed me, it's not like you committed murder." Jimmy replied. I looked at him dumbfounded.

"Yes, I kissed you, aren't you going to hurt me?" I asked looking at him, waiting for it to come.

"No I would never hurt you. Why? Has someone done that to you before?" Jimmy asked, concerned. I didn't reply, and I think Jimmy took that as a yes.

"Cassie, has someone actually hit you before?" Jimmy asked again. I could only nod before I burst into tears. Jimmy pulled me into his arms and held me tight. I just let the tears roll. I always knew that someone would get to me, past the mask that I wore. But I never thought it would be someone like Jimmy, who I had only known for a few days.

"Cass, it's going to be alright. I'm not going to let anyone get to you." Jimmy reassured me, running his hand up and down my back, making soothing noises. I attempted to nod, but failed. I just kept crying. I hated myself for letting Jimmy see me like this, I felt so weak.

I felt Useless.