Words Mean More Than Every Action
1/1
I couldn't believe my eyes. There, lying on the ground, right in front of my eyes, she was. Not breathing at all.
She was dead.
The girl, I loved so much. The girl I never stopped loving, even after I broke up with her, to be with Anna.
Anna. She was my girlfriend of almost a year now. I loved her more than anything, at least that's what I always tried to tell myself.
I never got over Lyn, though it was my own fault. I should've blamed myself on everything that had happened. Blaming you for being honest, it wasn’t right.
You see, Lyn was the girl I'd been in love with, ever since the first time we had met. She was the one, who would make me laugh over nothing, the one who would hug me, if something bad had happened. She was the one, who loved me.
Lyn was the perfect girl, everyone said so. My friends always told me we were perfect for each other and that we were so cute together.
I don’t know, why I even ended our relationship. Maybe because I was scared, maybe because I thought she had cheated on me. Either way, it was the worst decision in my whole life. Hadn't I broken up with her, she'd still be here by my side. Hadn't I broken up with her, she wouldn’t have killed herself.
I know, Lyn loved me with all her heart. She would've done everything for me.
"I will never stop loving you. Not even when I die." These were the last words, I heard from her. I didn’t know, she really meant it.
Lyn didn’t want to love me anymore, after what I had said. Words mean more, than every action. They can heal or kill a man.
I know I never should've said it, why had I even been stupid enough to do it?
"I don't love you anymore, Lyn. It's over", the biggest lie I had ever told. It was spoken out, and I can't take it back.
By now, I was engaged. My fiancé, Anna, cared about me. She loved me. There was only one problem, I didn’t love her in the same way. I liked her, more than a friend, but I didn’t love her, not after one whole year, that we were dating.
I often said it, though. 'I love you.' Three simple words, that mean so much. I said it so many times, not meaning any of it.
Anna, however, didn’t find it suspicious. She was so in love with me, she wouldn’t have thought of me like that.
No one would. I had never been one for lying. I had never been one of the kids, that were swearing all the time. I'd been one of the guys, you just had to look in the eyes to know, that I wasn’t lying. People could always trust me.
However, when I met Anna, that changed. I live from lies, I don’t even want lie to her, but I can't leave her. She would probably be heartbroken, and never talk to me again. I love her, as my best friend.
Lyn, was still lying in the bathtub, she would never come back. I slowly sat on the floor next to her. Taking her hand in mine, I started to sing. I made up a song, a song that would describe everything I felt for her, everything I didn’t say.
"I didn’t mean for that to happen.
Was it really all my fault?
Looking for determination
My heart it died and it got cold
It really wasn't my intention
To hurt you all along
Looking for confirmation
I killed you only with my tongue
As a matter of fact
Words mean more than every action
They can heal or kill a man
As a result of my self reflection
I wanna be a better friend,
Better than this."
"I love you, Lyn. You didn’t have to do this. I'm sorry." I convinced myself to apologize, for doing this to you.
I knew it was late to say this, but it had to be sad.
I am hardly moving
despite the fact that I
keep breathing it was spoken out
and I can't take it back
I drifted away
She was dead.
The girl, I loved so much. The girl I never stopped loving, even after I broke up with her, to be with Anna.
Anna. She was my girlfriend of almost a year now. I loved her more than anything, at least that's what I always tried to tell myself.
I never got over Lyn, though it was my own fault. I should've blamed myself on everything that had happened. Blaming you for being honest, it wasn’t right.
You see, Lyn was the girl I'd been in love with, ever since the first time we had met. She was the one, who would make me laugh over nothing, the one who would hug me, if something bad had happened. She was the one, who loved me.
Lyn was the perfect girl, everyone said so. My friends always told me we were perfect for each other and that we were so cute together.
I don’t know, why I even ended our relationship. Maybe because I was scared, maybe because I thought she had cheated on me. Either way, it was the worst decision in my whole life. Hadn't I broken up with her, she'd still be here by my side. Hadn't I broken up with her, she wouldn’t have killed herself.
I know, Lyn loved me with all her heart. She would've done everything for me.
"I will never stop loving you. Not even when I die." These were the last words, I heard from her. I didn’t know, she really meant it.
Lyn didn’t want to love me anymore, after what I had said. Words mean more, than every action. They can heal or kill a man.
I know I never should've said it, why had I even been stupid enough to do it?
"I don't love you anymore, Lyn. It's over", the biggest lie I had ever told. It was spoken out, and I can't take it back.
By now, I was engaged. My fiancé, Anna, cared about me. She loved me. There was only one problem, I didn’t love her in the same way. I liked her, more than a friend, but I didn’t love her, not after one whole year, that we were dating.
I often said it, though. 'I love you.' Three simple words, that mean so much. I said it so many times, not meaning any of it.
Anna, however, didn’t find it suspicious. She was so in love with me, she wouldn’t have thought of me like that.
No one would. I had never been one for lying. I had never been one of the kids, that were swearing all the time. I'd been one of the guys, you just had to look in the eyes to know, that I wasn’t lying. People could always trust me.
However, when I met Anna, that changed. I live from lies, I don’t even want lie to her, but I can't leave her. She would probably be heartbroken, and never talk to me again. I love her, as my best friend.
Lyn, was still lying in the bathtub, she would never come back. I slowly sat on the floor next to her. Taking her hand in mine, I started to sing. I made up a song, a song that would describe everything I felt for her, everything I didn’t say.
"I didn’t mean for that to happen.
Was it really all my fault?
Looking for determination
My heart it died and it got cold
It really wasn't my intention
To hurt you all along
Looking for confirmation
I killed you only with my tongue
As a matter of fact
Words mean more than every action
They can heal or kill a man
As a result of my self reflection
I wanna be a better friend,
Better than this."
"I love you, Lyn. You didn’t have to do this. I'm sorry." I convinced myself to apologize, for doing this to you.
I knew it was late to say this, but it had to be sad.
I am hardly moving
despite the fact that I
keep breathing it was spoken out
and I can't take it back
I drifted away
♠ ♠ ♠
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