Broken Hearts and Insecurity

To say the least, this day was a disaster. So far, a drink had been spilled right down the front of my favorite Ramones t-shirt; I had dropped my books on the floor, which resulted in them being stepped on, by about 50 pairs of feet rushing to lunch, and now, I couldn’t find a place to sit where I could enjoy my lunch. Just lovely. Lovely I tell ya.

I walked randomly around in the cafeteria, desperately scanning the area for a free table until I had to realize that I would find no empty tables. I sighed and walked over to the far side of the cafeteria, where the tables at least were a little bit emptier. I looked around and noticed a lanky, dark-blonde boy sitting at the table at the far corner. He looked okay enough. I quickened my pace and before I knew it, I had reached the table.

“Is it okay if I sit here?” I asked the boy, who now looked up. His blue eyes looked me up and down for a second before he nodded.

“Yeah, go ahead.” I gratefully sat down in the seat in front of him.

“I’m Lilly.” I thought it would be polite enough to at least introduce myself to him.

“I’m Mike”, the boy said with a slight smile. “Nice to meet ya.”

“Same to you”, I said shortly and flashed him a quick smile. I began tucking in on my lunch. Remember when I said I wanted a place to sit and enjoy my lunch? Well, I wasn’t actually enjoying it too much. After not too long I pushed the tray away from me and instead just settled on drinking the water.

“Are you new here?” I looked up to find Mike with an amused smile plastered on his face.

“Yep. How’d you know?” I asked and took a sip of the water from my glass.

“Because no one that’s been around here for some time ever tries to eat the food on Cabbage Stew-day,” he smirked. His blonde-brownish hair hung in disheveled knots around his ears and forehead. His blue eyes almost sparkled. He was kind of cute.

“Oh, so that’s what it is?” I said and looked at the cabbage stew floating around on my plate. “I couldn’t figure out what it was.” Mike chuckled softly.

“So where are you from?” Mike leant back in his chair while waiting for me to answer.

“Denver”, I answered while picking up my fork. I started poking around in my food a little, making it float all over my plate.

“Why’d you move?” Mike asked, seeming genuinely interested, which that alone made me feel a bit better than before.

“The thing that every kid who moves nowadays seems to move because of. The Dad got a new job, and the Mom and the child just politely tags along”, I muttered with sarcasm drenching my voice. “If you can call the child polite if it screams and protests and stays in its room for a week sulking.” It was true. I had been anything but happy when I found out that we were moving. But what could I really do other than come along? Mike chuckled again as I looked up at him.

“How old are you? If I may ask.”

“Sixteen.” I put my fork down, deciding to focus all my attention on this Mike guy instead of my cabbage.

“Aw, just a little baby”, he joked and cracked a smile.

“Hey, I’ll be seventeen in just about a month’s time.” I cracked a small smile myself, something I hadn’t done during the whole day. “How old are you then?”

“You are looking at a big seventeen year old, my dear”, Mike said with a pleased grin as he stretched his arms above his head. I could hear a cracking noise coming from his joints.

“Well, does the big old seventeen year old happen to have any cigarettes on him?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Maybe. Why?” I shrugged.

“Wondering if you could maybe be a doll and borrow me one?” He scowled.

“Aren’t you a bit young to be smoking?” he asked, now with both his eyebrows raised.

“What does that matter to you? When did you start smoking?” I inquired. He let out a small laugh.

“It’s not actually mine, they’re a friend’s. I put it in my pocket while he was smoking, since he didn’t have any pockets, and then I kind of forget I had them.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Yeah, sure, blame it on your friend.” I smirked back at him. He stood up abruptly and smiled.

“Want one of ‘em then?”

“Are you sure that’s okay with your 'friend'?” I grinned up at him.

“Yeah, he won’t mind.” He started walking away, making me hurry after him as I stood up. I followed him to the tray station.

“Why do you even bother taking any food at all if you don’t eat it?” I asked as we walked away.

“The lunch ladies might get mad or even attack. One time, when I took just a glass of water and no food, they hit me with a brush.” I started laughing. What a sight that must have been.

We pretty quickly made our way outside as he found the package of cigarettes in the pocket of his coat.

“Thanks.” I smiled at him as he handed me a cigarette and then put the package back into his pocket. “It’s really not yours?”

“No, I told you.”

“I thought you were just messing around”, I said as I found my black and red lighter in my pocket and lit the cigarette. I took a long drag and let out a sigh.

“Good?” Mike asked. I looked up at him.

“Hell yeah”, I said with a smile before taking another drag. “I don’t smoke too often, actually sometimes a package can take up to one month for me to use up, but this is already my third cigarette today.”

“How come?”

“Well, y’know. New school and all is kind of a stress factor, so a smoke just helps the stress, at least for the moment. When it’s time for exams, I also tend to do it a little bit more than usual.” I took yet another long drag.

“Why did you think I was messing around when I said I don’t smoke?” Mike smirked at me as I shrugged my shoulders.

“You seem like the type of guy who likes joking around”, I said with a smile.

“Well, I can’t deny the fact that I do love a good joke. But I don’t smoke. Not that anyway”, he said and looked down at the cigarette in my mouth.

“So what do you smoke then?” I wondered.

“I rather smoke pot than cigarettes, to be honest. Makes you all light headed, real nice stuff.” He smiled down at me.

“Well, this isn’t too bad either. It’s certainly not as dangerous as pot.”

“It’s not that bad actually, it’s not like I’m a drug addict or anything, it’s just the occasional joint.” He looked up, where a couple of birds flew across the cloud covered sky. “Plus it’s easy for me to get a hold of. My friend sells them for two dollars to people, but being his best friend and all, I sometimes get them for free.” He smiled proudly at me.

“How come your so called ‘best friend’ left you alone in the cafeteria then?” I asked him with a smirk. Mike looked down at his shoes.

“He… he had someplace he needed to be.” Mike started kicking a small pebble in front of him, his eyes still fixated on his shoes. Oh shit, had I said something inappropriate, I thought as we walked back to the school in silence.

“So, what’s your next class?” Mike asked as we had gotten rid of our coats and slung our bags over our shoulders. Pleased that he didn’t ditch me as soon as we got back to the school I hurriedly pulled out my schedule.

“Umm… I have… history with Mrs. Winson.” I looked up at Mike, who was smiling at me.

“Same as me then. Let’s go, I’ll show you the way.” He stood up straight and offered me his arm. I took it while laughing. Then he started skipping like an excited school girl down the hallway, which caused me to laugh even harder as I tried to keep up with him. After skipping up a few stairs and through a long hallway, we were stood outside the history classroom. I was about to pull my arm to myself again, but Mike only held it tighter as we walked inside the classroom and sat us down in the back. I laughed as I watched the stern expression on his face that he jokingly held. I knew this was going to be a fun lesson.