You Only Get One Shot Do Not Miss Your Chance to Blow

Brendon’s POV

I woke up to unfamiliar smell. I knew right away I wasn’t in my own bed, or house for that matter. My house would never smell this good. I took in another whiff and realized it was actually a familiar scent. It was a sweet aroma, and it gave me a fresh feeling, I thought about it and decided it kind of smelled like fruit.

I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. No wonder I came over here all the time, it smelled so nice. Ha ha. I was in Emily’s room, and my arms were wrapped around her so I pulled her a little closer to me and I picked up a wave of her scent. Pears. That was the best way to describe it. I loved the smell of Emily; she smelled so fresh and cheery, but warm and snuggly at the same time.

Yesterday came back to me. I went to band practice and got too hyper and Emily came and we hung out all night and I fell asleep at her house. I wish I could do that every single night. I felt so refreshed and just being next to her was soothing for me.

Even though my legs were hanging off the bed and my neck had a cramp in it, it was the best sleep I’ve had in a long time. I never really have a bed that I regularly sleep in, sometimes I sleep in my bunk on the tour bus, in a hotel, at a friends house, or in my bed at my place.

Speaking of being uncomfortable, Emily fell asleep in my arms, but sometime during the night she must have flipped herself over, because now she was lying on her stomach. Half of her body was on top of my torso and the other half on my arm that sort of flailed off to the right of me.

She had an excellent body and I lusted for it everyday. She ran a lot and Hayley had told me she was an expert at yoga, and yesterday at the store, I observed she eats pretty healthy too. I never thought I would say this, but the one thing I didn’t like about her being so athletic is when I wake up and her hip bone is jabbing into my wrist.

The more I thought about her jutted out hip bone, the more my wrist started to bother me. I wanted to slip my arm out from under her, but I didn’t want to disturb her. She looked so peaceful laying there.

I strained my neck lifted my head up to look around. Nothing was out of place, her floors were clean, her dresser was spotless and everything had a place. I knew if I ran my fingers along every surface in the room I probably wouldn’t pick up more than ten specks of dust.

But then I glanced at the corner of the room where her shoes were. All her shoes were lined up perfectly, except two pairs. Her yellow, grey and white running shoes we thrown in a corner on the opposite side of the room. I spotted a dirty blue pair of running shoes lying by her dresser, both of them appeared as if they were just thrown there, unlike her other arranged shoes.

It reminded me of Emily, but not just because it was her room. Emily seemed so put together on the outside; everything was perfect and she seemed cheerful. She was always smiling, making jokes and going crazy. But that day she told me the story about her and Jon, I knew that her appearance was deceiving, very deceiving. Because even though she appeared perfect, just like her room, there are just some things you can’t look past, like those damn shoes.

Under all her bliss, she was a mess. I know she tries to tell me everything, but she can’t bring herself to it. She tries to hide her feelings, but she doesn’t realize she gives them away with her eyes. Her stunning green eyes show when she’s scared, worried, uncomfortable, upset, nervous, or completely terrified.

I remember the first time I saw her completely terrified. It was the day her and Jon had their confrontation in the alley.

I remember the first time I saw her scared. It was the morning she woke up next to me and couldn’t remember my name.

I remember the first time I saw her uncomfortable. It was just yesterday, seeing me in one of my crazy moods, yet she didn’t run. It was as if she knew how I felt.

I remember the first time I saw her upset. It was the day I overheard her talking to Hayley about her commitment and trust issues.

But mostly I remember the times I see joy in her eyes. Those are the days when she is surrounded by the people she loves; her friends.

Her family had caused her so much pain and she is afraid to tell anyone. Her running shoes represent that stupid little conflict in her life that she can’t hide behind her dazzling smile.

I see her everyday try to please people and make them happy. She puts them before her, trying to avoid her fears. I want to tell her she can tell me anything, and I will listen because it hurts me to see a girl who should be fucking flying, be stuck on the ground. But then I look into her eyes.

I see her when she acts around Jon. She acts like he is just another one of her friends and she says she forgave him for everything. But then I see her eyes, and even though she is smiling at some joke Jon made, she still is hurting. She forgave Jon so easily, it seemed so bizarre to me. She doesn’t understand that when you get a cut, you have to let it heal. Because if you don’t and cover it up, it will never heal properly. One day I saw Emily scared to approach him and cringe whenever she heard his name and the next time I saw them they were laughing and making jokes at one another.

That’s not healthy. Emily’s whole situation is unhealthy, she never talks about her problems. Hayley knows it too because I hear her trying to get Emily to admit things all the time. I’m sure when I’m not around Hayley talks Emily through a lot of things. Even though Emily always says she is healed.

I might seem like I’m a goof-off all the time, but I can be serious. I know when something is wrong, I can sense it. Emily has something she’s afraid to tell me, but I already know.

Her family has wrecked her wonderful life, she can’t trust and she can’t love. I know she wants to trust me and she puts her whole heart into me, but her whole heart isn’t there. But I can wait for her, because she is worth it to me.

“Hey.” I heard a soft whisper below me. I turned my head from that stupid pair of running shoes and looked down at her. My mood had gotten so serious I was glad that she had finally woken and cheer me up.

“Well good morning,” I said softly to her.

“How long have you been up?” She rolled herself over so she was lying like me, on her back. I quickly took the chance to take my arm out and relieve my wrist of her hip bone. I shook my hand out and rolled my wrist.

“Not long,” I answered, looking at the clock. She looked over at it too, trying to hide the sadness from her face when I took my arm out from under her.

“Oh! It’s almost eleven,” she sat up and started to get up but I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her back down.

“That doesn’t mean we have to get up. Besides, I’m comfy.” I started rubbing my finger over and around her hip bone that was just moments ago, crushing my wrist. I ran my finger up and down her scar. She didn’t seem discomforted by it though.

“Yeah, you look comfy,” she replied sarcastically, trying to hide the blush. “Plus! I have so much to do today! I have do laundry and then I have to go get a vacuum so I can clean this dump and…”

I cut her off with a kiss, “No.”

She broke away, “Yes.” She leant in for the kiss again.

I let my lips linger on hers again but then pulled back. “No.”

“Yes.” I kissed her again, hard. “Fine.,” I smiled under her lips. She pulled away and started to get up again, “But, I will go make us breakfast.”

This I could agree with. I stood up too, stretched and followed her to the kitchen.

Emily’s POV

“So, I’ll see you a little after five,” Brendon said as he leant down to kiss me goodbye.

“Yes. Five twenty to be exact.” I kissed back, letting Brendon’s hands linger on my hips. Hayley got home around twelve from Ryan’s and complained how she and I don’t hang out anymore, so she kicked Bren out.

“Oh what will I do without you,” he replied sarcastically.

“Good question,” I whispered with seductive hot breath against his neck, and it made Brendon crave me. He quickly secured his lips on mine and tightened his grip on my hips and ran up and down them. I latched one my legs around his and he pushed me up against the wall near the door.

I felt my heart beat speed up and I fastened my hand in his shaggy hair and the other right under his jaw bone. He ran his hand up and down my leg now and his tongue entered my mouth. We were getting pretty steamy and we both wanted more of each other. I pressed my body hard against his and he kissed me harder, like he was trying to get more out of me, but I was kissing him as hard as I could too.

He pulled away for a breath but attached his lips to mine quickly again. Both of my hands were in his hair and I was pulling his body as close to mine as it could, as if we could get any closer. My leg was still latched around his and he took his arm and wrapped it around my waist tightly, the other moved from my ass to my neck. Every point of my body was pressed against his.

I was scary to think about what would have happened next if Hayley hadn’t made it out of the bathroom sooner, though I’d like to think I would be responsible. She broke apart our major make out session and sent Brendon out the door, leaving both of us panting and wanting more of each other very badly.

“Jesus Christ, Emily! Soon there’s going to be mini Brendon’s running around here!” I gave a wryly smile. “And trust me, I can’t handle another one of your Brendons.” She joked as she went to the bathroom to get ready for our day out.

As she went into the bathroom I tried to ignore the comment she made, but if kept coming back. I thought to what I was doing. What was I doing?

I was falling for Brendon fast. His beauty, charm, and his simple amazingness were all getting to me and I put all my effort into him, but I haven’t even admitted my fears to him. I couldn’t trust him yet. But here I am, giving him all my care, going against my promise to myself, to never love a boy, no matter how divine he is, as young and naive as I am.

---

“Emily?”

“Yes, Hayls?” I asked in her same tone. We were out walking in down the street to the next store along the strip mall.

So far our conversations had been light and fun, which was very inviting for me, since I have been dealing with a lot of things that were way out of my hand.

“Umm…” Hayley started but paused, pondering how she would state the question. “How, uh, h-how do you know…”

“Yeah?”

She cleared her throat, “How do you know, when, when you’re in love?”

I was taken aback by her question. First of all, Hayley is a very tongue-in-cheek kind of person. She really didn’t have a lot of these serious conversations with me. We usually joked around and had fun. I know you can’t really have a best friend relationship without some seriousness, but I was hyper active and she was always joking.

We did have our serious conversations though. But most of the time, it’s to help or advise the other person. Like in my situations with my childhood, or stuff with her family.

“Emily, Hayley’s on the phone,” my mom called up the stairs.

“Okay!” I yelled and ran to the closest phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, Ems!”

“Hey, Hayls! So how is it officially living with your dad?”

“Good. I guess,” she said it trying to keep her cheerfulness going, but I could hear the frown in her voice.

“Uh, oh. Tell me.”

“Well. I mean, I love my dad. Don’t repeat this, but I love him more than my mom sometimes. But, it’s hard adjusting here! I’ve lived in Minnesota my whole life! And then all of a sudden my mom shipped me off to South Carolina to live with my dad, without any explanation.

“And it’s hard living in a small town where everyone spent their entire 13 years of their life together. And it doesn’t help that everyone thinks I’m a snooty rich kid because my dad’s money. And…ugh!”

I listened to her venting and I sat in silence, thinking it over.

I finally answered, “It’s not so great here either. Without you. I mean, Kev is still here of course, but we miss you.

“Hayley. You’re a strong person! Don’t forget; secret weapon.” I heard her giggle on the other line.

“Yeah, but I don’t think the secret weapon will work without you. It only worked with you.”

“It doesn’t have to. Try it,” I heard my dad come home from work, and he sounded happy. “So, did your dad say when you are coming back up here for a bit? It seems like you’ve been away for forever!”

“Yeah, three weeks,” she said sarcastically. “Sorry I haven’t called for a while, I’ve been busy!”

“Hayley, a couple of days wont kill me,” I joked.

I don’t think she god my joking tone, “You never know. Speaking of existence, are you still in one piece?”

I shifted my weight, “Yeah, you know…”

“Mmhmm, I see.”

“Uh, Hayls, I have to go eat. Call you later?”

“Yeah, for cereal! Talk to you later, Ems! Tell Kev-out I said hi!”

“Sure thing, love you!” Being a 13 year old was way harder for us than it should have been.

Those were the only things we were serious about; my parents and her parents. So when she asked me about love? I’ve never experienced love before. I’ve only loved two people before, her and Kevin; my two best friends.

And I’m pretty sure best friend love is different that actual love.

“Em?”

I was pulled out of my thought, “Oh! Uh, what?”

“I, I think I’m in love. But I don’t know…” It was unusual to see Hayley like this. It was so cute, she was acting so innocent and shy.

So I did what I did best in situations like these; I joked. “Well. I mean, I don’t really know what to tell you. I knew you loved me, but I didn’t know it was like this!”

She shoved me into the side of the building, “Oh shut up!”

“Haha!” I started running down the sidewalk, causing many heads to turn in my direction. Hayley was a step behind me, chasing. I darted into a store and I felt the cool air hit my body, a drastic change from the hot sticky Nevada air.

Hayley came in right after me, “Oo! Shoes!” She ran over to the closest shelf.

I looked around the store and saw a couple pairs of shoes that I liked. I tried them on and decided I didn’t need anymore shoes today; I had enough.

I found Hayley, and she on the other hand looked like she was determined to buy the entire store. When I approached her, she was trying on a pair of yellow peep toed pumps.

“Hayley?”

“Yep?”

“I think you need to trust your instincts.”

“Uh, okay?” she looked confused. “I’m pretty sure I don’t have enough money though…”

“Hayley! That doesn’t matter!”

“Well, kinda.”

“No!”

“Emily, I’m not going to steal!”

“W-what?”

Now she looked weirded out, and I’m sure I did too. “What? What did you think I was talking about?”

“I thought you were talking about Ryan!”

“Oh!” she laughed and I started cracking up.

“Shh!” the lady at the counter was getting irritated at us. We both looked over and Hayley gave her a ‘sorry’ grin, but she turned back to me and crossed her eyes at the bitch woman.

“Okay, Emily. Calm,” she said to me, I was still laughing.

“Right, sorry.”

“Okay, well let’s go,” she said and put a pair of light blue wedges in a box and started to the counter.

We walked down the sidewalk, going in and out of stores. Sometimes emerging with another bag, but mostly we just browsed around and enjoyed time together.

“It’s three-thirty,” Hayley mentioned when she pulled out her phone and checked it. “And apparently, Jon, Spencer, Brendon and Ry are crashing our apartment,” she said in a put out voice after reading through her text messages.

“Great.” That meant our food would be gone. “Well, we should get going, ‘cause I need to shower.” I went for a run after Brendon left and Hayley was getting ready, so I was still in cut-off sweat pants, a tank top and tennis shoes with my hair up.

“Alright,” she smiled and got a cab. We were on our way home.

“You know what you said to me at that shoe store?”

“Yeah?” I asked casually, still looking out the window.

“Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“I should follow my instincts? With you know, Ryan?”

I shifted my body towards her, “Yes. I meant every word. I trust you, Hayley. You have a really good gut feeling. You’ll know when something is right or wrong or meant to be or not.”

“We’ve only been dating for what, two months? How can I be in love?”

I didn’t know how to answer this either, “Um, Hayley? I really don’t know a lot about this. I see love in the movies and in read it in books but none of that has ever happened to me and it makes me doubt everything that was pounded into our five year old head while we watched the Disney princesses dance around with their happily ever after.

“But what I do know, there is love out there. And just like everything else, it comes at different times. I’ve never believed in love at first sight, but who knows. Is seeing believing or is believing seeing? It’s all how you look at it.

“So some people find love at first sight, others at two months, some three years and others will never find their true love.”

Her eyes were wide and I could tell she was soaking up everything I was saying. The rest of the ride she sat in silence.