You Only Get One Shot Do Not Miss Your Chance to Blow

“My turn, Miss Smarty-Pants! I spy with my little eye, something… uh… green!”

We had been playing I Spy since we left my apartment, and it had been long enough but Brendon kept insisting he wanted to beat me at least once. “Uh, the street sign?”

“Nope,” he said smugly.

“That mofo’s hair?”

He laughed, “Nope!”

“Seriously you guys!” Ryan yelled from behind us. “Shut up!”

“Well I never!” Brendon gasped and glared back at him then stuck his nose in the air and started walking away faster, swinging his hips, with me in tow down the busy sidewalks.

He stopped suddenly, being serious again, “Did you hear that?”

“Uh, no?”

“Aw, did Brendon loose again?” Hayley joked and made a mimicry pout as she and Ryan caught up with us again.

“No! Listen.”

Ryan cocked his head to the side and listened for whatever Brendon was listening to. Hayley and I looked from Brendon and Ryan to each other in confusion. There was so much noise on these streets, what could he actually hear, specifically? People continued to walk past us, annoyed that we were stopped in the middle of the walk way.

Ryan did a fake dramatic gasp, covering his mouth like a girl.

“Mmhmm! Just like I suspected,” Brendon confirmed.

“What?! What?!” Hayley and I asked with anticipation.

“Hurry!” Ryan yelled as he grabbed Hayley’s hand and Brendon grabbed mine. Brendon started speed walking very fast and Ryan was pulling Hayley not even a half a step behind Brendon. We squeezed past people on the sidewalks, earning even more looks.

“Um? Can you guys tell us what the hell we are doing?” Hayley asked annoyed and involuntarily jogging.

“Uh, we are late for lunch?” Brendon said, obviously hiding something.

“I don’t think Spencer will mind if we are two minutes late if that means we aren’t all sweaty!” I said. Spring was almost over and the summer heat was starting to come, making it hotter than what we were used to.

Ryan looked around pleadingly, trying to find somewhere to go. Brendon looked behind us frantically. I looked back too to see what he was looking at, when I saw what they were running from; I sped up my pace too.

“Oh,” was all I said when I saw the group of pre-teens following us.

“There it is!” Ryan pointed across the street to the café we were meeting Spencer, Haley, Jon and Cassie. Brendon rushed over to push the button that would allow us to walk across the street. He kept pushing it anxiously.

“Come on, come on!” he muttered.

The fan girls were getting closer and I started to hear what they were saying. “Brendon! Ryan! Oh My God! I love you! Breeendoon! Marry me, Ryaaaan!”

Hayley looked back and realized what was happening, “I thought you guys were liked your fans?”

“Not when it’s the same six girls that stalk you everywhere you go. You just can’t be nice to stalkers,” Brendon answered impatiently as he waiting for the ‘walk’ sign to light up.

It finally did and we continued speed walking, only this time Hayley and I didn’t resist being tugged along. We all ducked inside the café and let out a deep sigh.

“And that, my girls, was your first encounter with our ‘Special Six!’” Ryan sarcastically.

“Hey, Haley!” Brendon said when we approached the table Spencer and Haley were saving. “How’ve ya been?”

“Excellent! How are you, Bren?” she asked excitingly as she gave him a greeting hug.

“Awesome. Especially awesome now that I have this little lady,” he said as he pushed me forward to meet her.

“Hey, I’m Emily,” I greeted and held out my hand.

“No handshakes here, Em! You’re dating Brendon? You’re family!” she pulled me into a hug and embraced me tightly. “God bless you!” she added right before she pulled away. She said it quietly so only I could here her.

Ryan gave Haley a quick kiss on the cheek and then introduced Hayley to her too. “Haley, meet Hayley. Hayley, Haley.” As they were introduced I couldn’t help but think about what she said. I knew what she meant about the ‘God bless you’ part because Ryan and Spencer always talked about how giddy Brendon was. But she said I was family. It gave me a warm feeling when she said that. I didn’t get how she could just accept a new family member in their ‘family’. She didn’t even know me and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to even be a part of a family because families aren’t one of my strong points. Even if I didn’t want to belong to a family just yet, I still liked that Haley was so nice to me and I have to admit that it made me feel good when she said I was part of her ‘family’.

“Uh, Emily? Care to join us?” Spencer asked jokingly. I looked around; everyone was already sitting down in the booth. Spencer was sitting by the window with Haley next him. Hayley was on the right of Haley and Ryan was to the left of Hayley. Brendon was across from all of them, looking at me admiringly, amused at my deep thinking.

“Oh! Right,” I laughed and slid in the booth next to Brendon. He placed his arm around me and kissed the top of my head.

“Smooth,” he whispered jokingly into the top of my head. I blushed and he pulled away. Haley was watching us the whole time out of the corner of her eye.

“So, you both are completely adorable. How did you meet?” Haley asked excitedly, her eyes sparkled with anticipation.

“Well I’d like to hear this story!” a voice came from behind us.

“Cassie!” Haley said eagerly. “Oh how have you been?!” she gave Cassie a tight hug and they talked quietly a little while the rest of waited from them to sit down. Jon gave Haley a kiss on the cheek and walked past the two giggling girls and slid in the booth next to me.

“Soon that will be you two,” Brendon pointed to me and Hayley and then gestured toward Haley and Cassie, who were immersed in catching up with each other.

“Great,” I muttered. They finally took their seat. I scooted a little closer to Brendon as Jon got a little to close for my comfort. I looked up at Brendon and he squeezed my thigh in support. I took in a deep breath, I could handle a couple hours squished next to Jon, it would be fine. I kept encouraging myself and then doubting myself.

Luckily I was distracted by Haley. “So! Start your story about how you all met!”

Ryan, Brendon, Hayley and I looked at each other, not knowing who should tell the story.

“Nose goes!” Brendon yelled. We all fumbled to get our hands above the table and lucky me, I couldn’t get my finger on my nose fast enough.

“No fair! You were holding my hand back, Brenny!”

“You have two hands, Emmy!”

“Yeah but, I--” Haley was laughing at us.

“Too cute!” We both looked at her confused.

“Huh?” I asked.

“Nevermind,” she waved her hand.

“Okay well, I guess I’ll start,” I glared jokingly at Hayley and Ryan.

“Emily, you know you would have been volunteered by us anyways,” Ryan pointed out.

“Yeah, I guess. Okay, so. This isn’t very ‘cute’ or ‘cliché’, just warning you,” Cassie and Haley nodded eagerly, wanting me to go on. “So, Hayley and I decided to take a road trip, and we traveled down the east coast and--”

“Wait, you aren’t from Vegas? Where are you from?” Hailey asked

“Minnesota,” Jon said, flicking his paper ball he made out of his straw wrapper at Ryan’s forehead, obviously bored with the gossip us four girls were in to. Hailey made an ‘o’ with her mouth.

“Yeah, so we traveled down the east coast to Florida, then up through Kansas and then to Nevada. We stopped in Vegas and got a hotel. Our first day in Vegas we slept, like we did in mostly every other state, and then the second day, we went out and explored the state. When we were in Vegas we went out to explore, and uh. Well we kind of partied a little too hard,” I said sheepishly

“Then we were totally drunk when we got back to our hotel we were staying at and--”

“Let me guess,” Cassie said, “They helped you to your rooms and stayed with you to make sure you were okay?!”

“Not exactly…” Brendon chuckled.

I laughed, “Definitely not. Well we got back to the hotel and we were running around crazy and we ran into two other drunken guys,” I gestured to Ryan and Brendon. Haley and Cassie laughed.

“The next morning Hayls and I went down for breakfast and we happened to run into these four very charming boys. They bought us breakfast and we spent a whole week in the hotel and we just hung out and stuff,” I smiled and sat back.

“Awe, cute,” Hailey said.

“Why did you two go on a road trip? Just ‘cause?”

“Uh…” I said uneasily.

Hayley jumped in, “Well, I guess you could say that. But more like, uh, family problems?”

“Oh,” Hailey said, noticing the uneasiness in the room. Cassie looked down at her lap, knowing the story that everyone else knew, but didn’t mention.

I scooted even closer to Brendon, as I felt the awkwardness grow between Jon and me.

The silence grew and Cassie tried changing the subject, “Why were you guys staying at a hotel?”

Spencer jumped in, “Ryan’s house wasn’t ready and Brendon was still moving in to his and I rented out my place for a couple months when we were on tour, and the couple wasn’t moved out yet.”

The rest of the time we ate lunch and enjoyed each other’s company. The boys told us side splitting stories about tour and everyone shared funny stories about their family. We were in the middle of the meal and Jon started talking about his parents.

“Last week my mom was asking about you,” Jon said playfully to Cassie.

“Oh really?” she laughed. “How is she?” Brendon squeezed my hand when he felt me tense up.

“Well yesterday she called and she started talking about my dad and how--”

“Excuse me,” I managed to get out before I choked up. I started towards the bathroom.

I heard Haley asking Brendon what was wrong. Brendon started to get up and he muttered something to Jon.

Spencer spoke up, “Brendon, let me go talk to her.”

“This isn’t your problem, Spencer,” Brendon said defensively.

“You’re right, it’s all of ours!” he shot back.

“Just sit down, Brendon,” Ryan said. That was all I could hear of their bickering because by that time I had shut the door to the bathroom. I leaned up against the wall and sunk down to the floor.

I sat on the grimy bathroom floor for a couple minutes with my head in my hands, taking deep breaths. The tile walls were cold on my open back shirt so I stood up and went over to the water stained sink. I peered into the mirror and looked at my reflection. I sure wasn’t as pretty as Haley or Cassie. My face wasn’t a perfect heart shape like Cassie and my nose wasn’t flawless and my hair wasn’t a wonderful shiny brown like Haley. I couldn’t wake up and look flawless like Hayls either.

I fixed up my make-up and straightened out my flowing baby doll top and my skirt. I fluffed my hair and prepared myself to go back out and finish the lunch.

“Emily?” I heard Spencer’s voice through the door.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” I headed towards the door but Spencer came in before I could go out. He whisked the door shut and locked it. Not even a second later someone started jiggling the door handle but Spencer ignored it and came and engulfed me in a great big hug.

I hugged him back and we stayed like that for a couple minutes. It was very comforting. “Finally,” Spencer said softly.

“Hmm?” I asked.

“Nothing, nevermind.”

“No, tell me,” I insisted.

“Well it’s just, I don’t know. It’s a relief to finally see you react to something.”

“W-What do you mean?”

“Well, Brendon’s been worried because you just seemed to just act to normal around Jono.”

“So?”

“Emily. Think about it. You meet your long lost brother slash cousin that you never thought you would ever see. And I’m going to guess that you had always told yourself you would never forget what he did to you, right? Then he turns out to be your boyfriend’s best friend? Emily, your life is fucked up.”

I chuckled, “Well you got the last part right. My life is fucked.” I sighed into his chest and snuggled tighter to him.

“I said finally because you’re finally starting to act like you should be acting; sick to your stomach about this whole situation. You’re finally having problems excepting Jon back into your life.”

I exhaled deeply into his chest again, “Yeah I guess your right.”

“Only time is going to heal your wounds, Em. Jon’s going through the same thing, even though he doesn’t show it, we all know. The only thing that is different between you two is that he opens up and lets people help him.”

He was quiet to let his words sink in. He was right, I did try to avoid people. “Spence, yeah I do, but it’s just that I--”

“I know, you don’t like to trust people. We all know. You have to be fearless, Emily. Hayley always talks to Ryan about how strong you are. You’re tough when you face all your other fears, why can’t you try to do that with this?”

“Because it requires me to do something outside of me, not in.”

“We are here for you, we don’t judge. Do you know how many weird ass problems our band has? Have you noticed how close we are? We aren’t critics, we love you for who you are, Em. Don’t be afraid.”

I nodded into his chest and hugged him some more. “Let’s go back now, kay?”

“Sure thing, Ems.” We made our way out and immediately Brendon jumped us. He nudged Spencer out of the way and grabbed my hand. Spencer and I just chuckled at him but Brendon didn’t understand why we were laughing, so he narrowed his eyes at Spencer.

We got back to the table and everyone looked at me cautiously, not knowing how I would react. I sat down, “Dessert anyone?”

They all broke into smiles and Cassie passed the dessert menus out. We all ordered and Haley, with her gossipy ways, broke the silence first. “So Emily, do you mind me asking what happened?”

Everyone tensed up, but I put on a smile. “Here’s probably isn’t the best place to talk about it.”

“Right,” she said. “But don’t forget we are here for you, for anything,” she spoke the words everyone was thinking.

“Of course,” I smiled, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

I looked at Spencer and he winked at me as he put his arm around Haley. I leaned into Brendon’s side and he hugged me tightly. I felt proud; I had taken Spencer’s advice and maybe just earned myself a family. A family that I could maybe end up loving.