You Only Get One Shot Do Not Miss Your Chance to Blow

“We did it! We did it! We did it! Yay! Lo hicimos! We did it! Doo doo doo doo doo! We went over the bridge and past the troll yeah we did it! We did it! We did it! Hooray! We went up the mountain through little dark holes yeah we did it! We did it! We did it! We did it!”

I picked up my purse from the back room and put on Brendon’s sweatshirt and continued singing, “Swiper hid little star in Tico’s tree, we said ‘Salta, Tico, Salta!’ and we found it hooray! Yay! Woo! Hooray! We did it!! Woo!”

I was finally free after my unnecessary long shift. “God Emily, shut up!” Kyle yelled at me.

“Well excuse me if I don’t appreciate working until four in the morning!”

“That doesn’t mean you have to sing Dora,” he rolled his eyes and took off his apron. I rolled my eyes at him; he always got cranky late at night.

“Yeah, whatever. See ya tomorrow, Girl Scout!” I said goodbye, using his nick name that conveniently stuck with him, and walked out of the bar. When I walked out of Gilly’s a car that was parked on the curb honked at me. I jumped, I was used to cars honking, but it wasn’t the car, it was the person in the car.

“Um, hi Jon,” I greeted as I opened the passenger door and slid in.

“Hey,” was all he said back. He drove off towards my apartment and we sat not talking for a couple minutes. It started to get awkward, but finally he spoke up, “Brendon asked me to come and pick you up.”

“Oh,” was I could say, it was evident that the awkwardness was still present. I hadn’t really talked to Jon in a while. A month ago at the brunch was pretty much when the discomfort between us returned. “Can I ask why?”

“Well I guess he didn’t ask… he just kind of fell asleep on Ryan’s couch with a guitar in his hand. So I came and picked you up.”

“You didn’t have to Jon, I walk all the time,” I replied softly.

He turned to me this time and looked at me like I was crazy, “Yeah but it’s three in the morning, and this is Vegas.”

“Yeah but--”

“And seriously, that’s all Brendon kept talking about. ‘I’m just worried about her walking home.’ ‘Did you hear about the girl that got raped yesterday?’ ‘You know, Emily really can’t’ blah blah blah!”

I gave a little laugh at that, he imitated Brendon perfectly. “Thanks.”

We sat in silence for a little more.

“So, I uh, I heard you talked to Jane? How, how’d uh, that go?”

My stomach turned, how did he know about Jane? I knew he knew about her before when I lived in Minnesota, but I never told him that I had been talking to her recently, even thought I have been talking to Jane every Sunday night since she called.

I know that seems hypocritical of me, but I think just little reminders of the past was uplifting for me. I kept her updated about Hayley and we she was up to, I talked to her about Brendon and I told her about my whole set up.

She keeps insisting on sending me money for college, but I refused. I didn’t feel that comfortable yet.

“Uh, yeah.” I hugged Brendon’s sweatshirt closer to me. I buried my nose deep in the sleeve, in taking the scent, hoping it reassure me or trick me into thinking Brendon was closer than he actually was.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…” he decided to change the subject, “You know, I told my mom about you.” That wasn’t much better. I sunk down in Jon’s seat and tried as hard as I could to disappear. I squeezed my eyes shut until I saw crazy colors on my black eye lids. But as soon as I opened them, I was still here in Jon’s car, still wishing to be elsewhere. He continued, “She uh, she wants to see you, you know.”

He paused, letting the statement sink in. My heart was racing. I sure as fuck didn’t want to see his family.

“I know, you probably don’t want to, but she. She said that it would mean a lot to her.” He kept his head focused on the road, not wanting to look at me.

I hugged the sweatshirt closer, suddenly I wished I was back at Gilly’s, bored with Kyle’s crankiness. I chose my words carefully, “I’m sure she would.”

“Emily, it would help you think you,” he said, “And me,” he whispered out. I felt sympathy run through me. I forgot about how this is hard on Jon too, I wanted to help him, but I didn’t think I could survive a minute with Alice and Mike. Seeing them would bring back horrible memories that I didn’t want to think about. I shook my head, trying to rid it of the pictures.

“Jon, I just, I don’t think so,” I whispered out. Jon exhaled, exhausted from the battle that was non-existent.

“Right,” he said, like he was trying to remind himself that he knew it was a stupid idea.

“I mean, I want to get over this. Maybe later?” Oh jeez, did I really just say that? I didn’t want to ever talk to them.

“Okay, I’ll tell her that. She’s anxious to see you, you know.” I just nodded, I couldn’t even imagine what this would lead to.

The more I thought about it though, maybe I could eventually collect enough guts to just talk to them. I mean, no matter how fucked our family was, they were still my aunt and uncle.

We finally reached my apartment, which seemed to take longer than it should have. I collected myself and got out. “Thanks,” I muttered and shut the door. He drove off immediately, which was no surprise because towards the end of the drive, the tension rose higher and higher, it was unbearable.

I hugged Bren’s sweatshirt to my chest again and climbed the stairs to my apartment. As soon as I got in, I dropped my purse and threw off my shoes and pants and fell down on the couch and drifted off to sleep.

---

“Maybe she died…”

“Yeah, looks like it.”

“Now what are you gonna do, dude?”

“Well, I’ll most likely have to organize a funeral for her, and then I’ll possibly write a stupid song about her. You know, the usual thing I do when my girlfriends die.”

Another person joined the conversation, “Oh my God you guys, shut up! She’s not dead!”

The first voice chimed in again, “You don’t know that!” I heard two smacks. “Ow!”

“Hey Ryan! Get a picture of me next to her!” I felt the weight on the couch shift and a presence next to my face. I didn’t dare open my eyes, I was too scared of what I would see.

I heard a click and then felt a weight shift again. “My turn!” I heard another shutter and then it went silent. I decided it was safe to open my eyes.

I opened my eyes very slowly. Something was moving in front of my face, I focused on it and my eyes darted open. “What the fuck?!” my voice was still sleepy but I was still loud.

Brendon was inches away from my face and his eyes went wide and froze, with a sharpie only centimeters away from my cheek.

I sat up and pushed Brendon off me, “What the fuck are you two doing?!” I yelled at Ryan and Brendon. Ryan got up off my legs and ran away with arms flailing. Brendon followed in pursuit, screaming.

I looked over to the chair where Hayley was sitting with her legs under her, sipping her hot chocolate and watching The Price Is Right. She was smirking, I wasn’t sure if she was laughing at the boys, or the girl who tripped running down the isle after her name got called.

I got up and went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My forehead read ‘I love pussy’ I took in a deep breathe angrily.

“BRREENDON!! RYANNN!!” I heard Hayley’s door slam. “GET BACK HERE, YOU FUCKERS!” I ran out of the bathroom and towards Hayley’s room and darted through the door. Ryan and Brendon were ducked down behind Hayley’s bed, trying to hide, but they weren’t succeeding.

I grabbed one of Hayley’s high heels and ran and jumped over the bed, landing on Ryan’s back.

“Ow! No! Not the heel!” I smacked him with it continuously, making sure Brendon was still stuck under me too. Then I got off Ryan’s scrawny back and jumped on Brendon and then hit him with the shoe too.

Ryan tried to get out of the room, but I jumped over the bed and jumped onto his back right before he could get out of the door. He continued to walk out the door with me dragging from his back. He struggled down the hallway and I started hitting him again with the shoe.

Brendon recovered and came out behind me and grabbed my ankles and lifted them up. They carried me out to the living room screaming.

“Don’t break anything,” Hayley said monotonously, eyes still plastered to the TV.

I felt like I was doing the wheelbarrow, except I was six feet in the air on Ryan’s shoulders, with Brendon holding my ankles up above his head.

I was suddenly conscious that all I had on was Brendon’s sweatshirt. I had taken off my pants the night before.

“Put me down! Put me down!” I screamed, but they didn’t obey. They carried me into the kitchen archway and out through the other one.

Then they started marching. “Left! Left! Left, right, left! Left! Left! Left, right, left!” Brendon sang. I tried to pull the sweatshirt down, trying to hide my green and blue striped underwear.

“Oo! Lace!” Brendon observed, talking about my underwear, causing Ryan to try to look back. “Hey! My girlfriend!” Brendon yelled playfully and swatted and Ryan’s head and hugging my ankles to his head. Then Brendon started tickling my feet as they continued to march around our tiny apartment.

“Ah! Stop, Brenny!”

“Ah-hah! She’s ticklish, Ry-Ry!”

Then they laid me down on the hallway floor, which was where they were at the time, and Brendon sat on my legs and Ryan started tickling me.

“No!! Stop! Noo!” They continued to tickle me, but I couldn’t get out full sentences. “No! St-st, st-stop! Th-this! Th-this i-i-is tor-tor-torture! H-hay-h-ha-h-hay-hayley!”

“Hey boys!” she yelled, “I made omelets!” They stopped instantaneously, and ran to the kitchen, leaving me gasping for breath on the floor.

I recovered and got up off the floor and dusted myself off. I headed into the kitchen where Brendon and Ryan were pouting into their cereal bowls.

“Where are the omelets?” I asked, suddenly starving.

“There are none!” Brendon replied sadly. Of course, Hayley never cooked, why would she suddenly start now?

I took a seat next to Brendon and poured myself some Cheerios.

---

“Hey,” Brendon greeted me using his soft charming voice.

“Why hello sir!” I said as I open the door, allowing him to come in.

Brendon walked in and pecked me on the lips briefly. Then he looked me up and down and his jaw dropped. I smirked at his reaction to my tall heels and slimming dress. I had to admit, Hayley did a good job helping me pick the dress out. It showed off my curves in all the right places, even if it was a little too much for me, Hayley said it looked hot and I wanted to impress Brendon.

I swear I saw a little drool leave his mouth before he snapped up straight and took my hand in his and kissed. “Milady,” he said and ushered me to the door.

“Have fun on your date!” Hayley called after us.

“Have fun getting your haircut,” I called back, winking at her. She smirked and closed the door.

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Brendon asked confused.

“Nothing,” I waved him off. Brendon drove off after he got me in the car and we got situated.

We were driving, but didn’t make conversation, but it wasn’t awkward for us. We pulled up in front of a really fancy restaurant. We entered and Brendon already had reservations for us.

We found our table and I picked up the menu. I immediately put it down. “Brendon! This stuff is too expensive!”

“Don’t worry about it, Emmy. I’m paying.”

“Well I know that,” I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. “But this stuff is ridiculously overpriced!”

“Emmy, don’t worry about it.” He placed his hand over mine, to comfort me, but I was still unsure what to get. I didn’t want to break him, even if he was a rock star.

We were half way through our meal and I was in the middle of telling Brendon a story. The whole story he looked like he wanted to say something, so when I stopped for a breath, he jumped in.

“I want to kiss you so badly right now.” He said it so quickly that it took me a couple seconds just to figure out what he said.

“W-What?”

“You just look so pretty,” he gushed, “you know, that dress is amazing.” I just blushed, I didn’t know what to say in reply.

“Thanks, Bren. You look striking too, this is the first time you’ve actually put on some slacks and took off those converse of yours,” I joked and playfully kicked his leg.

“Oo!” he fake shivered, “Footsy! My favorite game!”

A couple minutes later our feet were tangled so much that I didn’t think I could get up. The waiter came over and gave as weird looks when he saw our legs knotted under the table.

“How is everything?”

“We’d like the check. Please,” Brendon gave him the charming smile and the toothy grin. I think I figured out the feeling he was feeling when he looked at me, because when I looked at his dark brown hair fall over his forehead, his dark entrancing eyes and pearly white smile, I had the urgent need to press my lips hard against his.

As soon as Brendon put the money down on the table, I jumped up and pulled him along. “Whoa! Where are we going?!” he asked as he was tugged along.

I got in the passenger seat and he got in the driver’s seat and I attacked him. I pressed my body as close as I could to him. Brendon was smashed in between the door and my body, but he didn’t complain. He just answered back by shoving his tongue in my mouth and roaming my body with his hands.

“I-I think, I think we have to m-move,” he mumbled against my lips after a couple of cars honked.

I sat up and went back to my own seat, panting. I nodded my head, out of breath.

We drove back to his house, we completely silent the whole way. I think we were both thinking about our kiss; it was probably the most passionate kiss we had.

We entered in his house. Every time I walked in the house, I couldn’t help but feel a tickle in my body from the colors on the wall. When I saw it, I was proud of myself for opening up like I did.

Brendon set down his keys on the table and I took off my surprisingly comfortable heels. He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers in mine, pulling me close up against him. I finally had to look up at his eyes instead of down after I took off my shoes.

Brendon leaned in started where we left off in his car. I wrapped my arms around his skinny waist and Brendon latched his hands in my put up hair somehow. We fell up the stairs, our lips still intact and Brendon pushed me down on the couch.

He climbed on top of me, straddling my waist, and we continued our make out session.

After I bit, I suddenly pulled away. Since I was on the bottom, I couldn’t get away from Brendon’s lips. He just leaned down lower and kept on kissing. Then I smashed my hand in his face, forcing him to stop.

He pulled away and looked down at me, startled and puzzled at my actions. “A-Are you okay?”

I shook my head clear, trying to ignore the thoughts I was having, “Y-Yeah, sorry.” I smiled up at him and attached my lips to his again. I tried to ignore the images that ran through my mind again. I squeezed my eyes closed to try to rid the picture of Jon’s head and I pretended not hear Jon’s voice in the back of my mind.

“Emily, I think it would help you....”

I immersed my whole body in the kiss. I could tell Brendon was taken a little off guard at my persisting, but he went with it.

“And me.”

I gulped and pulled away again, this time Brendon pulled away too. “Emmy, what’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing,” I answered shakily. Brendon shrugged and pressed his pink lips to my neck. I kept telling myself to erase the image from my head, but I couldn’t get it out.

“She’s anxious to see you, you know.”

This time I jumped and let out a little yelp, I leapt off the couch cause Brendon to fall to the floor. “Whoa, Em, what’s up? D-Did I do something?”

I stood there alarmed, not saying anything. I was completely freaked out by myself, “I-I, I-I uh, I gotta go,” I murmured out. I scurried to the stairs before Brendon could catch me, I pulled my dress down that had ridden up and left.

“Emmy!” I heard as I ran out to the sidewalk. “What did I do?!” I felt bad, Brendon thought this was his fault. “Em? Please talk to me!” He ran down his sidewalk, his shirt disarrayed and hair a mess. I looked back and saw his face, it crushed me. Just like I had done his birthday and his parties, I ruined our five month anniversary.