Take a Breath and Hold On Tight

After the boys finished their band practice, everyone began leaving one by one. In the end, only me, Libby, Garrett, Pat and John remained.

"So what happened to Acey?" Libby asked Pat as she laid her head on Garrett's shoulder.

"She got stuck watching her baby brother. Her mom had to go out of town for a few days," he explained, drumming carelessly on the ground.

She nodded her head. "Benny is such a little cutie."

Garrett laughed. "Remember the time you offered to help Acey watch him so her and Pat could go on a date, and he-" he began laughing so hard he had to take a moment before telling the rest of the story, "he threw up all over your clothes and your hair."

Pat and John began laughing as wild as he was, while Libby rolled her eyes and pushed Garrett away from her. "It's not funny. That little shit ruined my shirt and it took three washes to get the gunk and smell out of my hair."

John smiled and shook his head. "Well, what did you expect? He is a baby, and you should have known better than to wear nice clothes."

She stuck her tongue out. "Whatever."

"Awe, come here, babe," Garrett chuckled, pulling her towards him and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Pat stood up and gave a yawn. "Well, I was thinking of going over and visiting her. So, you idiots should find your way home," he smiled.

"Hoes before bros? That hurts, Pat," Garrett joked.

Libby laughed. "I'm gonna tell Acey you called her a hoe."

He tackled her, lying on top of her. "You will do no such thing!"

"Oh, yeah? Why not?" He brought his mouth to her ear, whispering, and a second later, she was grinning and blushing. "Okay ... Maybe I won't."

John made a face of disgust. "I don't even want to know." He turned and gave me a smile. "Libby's probably gonna go to Garrett's house. I can take you home ... If you want."

I nodded my head. “That sounds good.”

He stood up and brushed off his clothes before holding his hands out for me to take; when I did, he pulled me up. “Well you two have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he joked, winking at Libby and Garrett, who both flipped him off. He laughed before lacing our fingers together and pulling me out of the garage, through Pat’s living room and out the door. Once we were outside, he opened the passenger door of his car for me, getting in on the driver’s side afterward.

As usual, a band I didn’t recognize was playing on the radio and John began singing along, drumming his hands on the steering wheel every once in awhile.

“Who’s this singing?” I asked after a minute.

He looked at me with a smile, and pointed towards his radio. “That, Harper, is a band called The Weepies. Ever heard of ‘em?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

He chuckled and placed his index finger and thumb on the bottom of his chin, rubbing it as if he were deep in thought. “How can I describe their music … They’re one of those bands that you listen to when you just want to mellow out and appreciate life, ya know?”

“I think I know what you mean,” I said.

Instead of elaborating on the band, like he usually did whenever he introduced me to one I didn’t know, he turned the volume down as we came to a stop light. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” I shrugged, playing with the hem of my tank top.

“Would your parents be angry if they knew you were dating me?”

My fingers stopped fidgeting and I turned, looking at John who was looking back at me. I licked my lips and directed my sight back on the road. “They wouldn’t be mad per se …” I whispered.

As the light turned green, we began moving forward and John stayed quiet for the remainder of the ride to my house. When we pulled into the driveway, he pulled his keys from the ignition and set them in his lap. “What exactly does ‘per se’ mean?” he questioned, making air quotes with his fingers as the words ‘per se’ left his mouth.

I gave a small shrug, avoiding his gaze. “I don’t know. I mean … They may be surprised, but I don’t know if they’d be angry.”

He began fiddling with the keys in his lap. “… Why’d you tell your mom I was just a friend then, Harper?”

I didn’t know how to respond to his question; partly due to the fact that I wasn’t exactly sure why I had lied to her, myself. I knew she wouldn’t have gotten terribly mad, but she also wouldn’t have taken the news well. In my parents’ eyes, I was still their little baby – dating wasn’t an idea I imagined them being too keen to.

“Harper?” he called my name, waving his hand in front of my face.

I sighed, fiddling with my seat belt. “I – I just did. I don’t know how to answer your question, John,” I admitted.

We both sat in silence for a few minutes before he said anything. “I want you to be honest with your parents, Harper. Everything will just be easier that way.”

I nodded my head. “I’ve always been honest with my parents. In fact, this is the first thing that I’ve ever lied to them about.”

“Well, that makes me feel great …” he mumbled, an agitated tone in his voice.

For the first time in a long time, I began to feel annoyed. “I don’t know what you want me to do, John. I wasn’t thinking when I told her that you were just my friend! I’m sorry!” I spoke in a loud voice, one I hardly ever, if at all, used. He looked taken aback, and I began to feel tears hoard my eyes. I quickly unbuckled my seat belt and opened the door, getting out of the car. However, I didn’t get but to the front of the car when John appeared in front of me.

“Wait, I’m sorry,” he told me, taking both of my hands between his own. “I didn’t mean to make you angry, Harp.”

I looked away, hating having him see me cry. “It’s fine, John. I just overreacted.”

He sighed and cradled my face between his hands, rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs. “You reacted the way any person would. I shouldn’t have been so pushy about our relationship. Whenever you feel ready, you can tell your parents, Harper. I’m not going to make you do it,” he stated, his green orbs locking with my eyes.

I gave a small smile, appreciating his words. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Sweet Pea.” He placed a kiss on the top of my forehead, having to bend down to do so. As he pulled away, he let out a quiet laugh.

“What?” I asked, furrowing my brows.

“I was just thinking of how this scenario would have played out if I had been with Rory,” he said.

“Oh … How would she have reacted?” I questioned out of pure curiosity.

He dropped his right hands to his side, while his left remained resting against my cheek. “She would have made a big scene and started yelling and bitching me out. She might have even thrown in a slap or two.” We both laughed.

“I didn’t know she was that bad,” I told him.

He shrugged, finally dropping his hand. “Rory’s a lot of things …”

I nodded my head. “Are you really over her?”

He smiled brightly and wrapped his arms around me. “I was over her before we even broke up, Harp. You don’t need to worry about her, okay?” he whispered the latter in my ear.

“Okay,” I stated.

He pulled away. “I’ve gotta get going, but I’ll call you later.” I nodded my head and he placed a sweet kiss on my cheek. “I’ll talk to you later, Sweet Pea.”

I smiled, blushing slightly. “Bye, John.” I watched him get into his car and drive off before going into the house. Being that it was nearing nine-thirty and neither my aunt nor uncle were downstairs, I guessed that they had already headed off to bed. I walked up to my room, closing my door behind me.

I changed into a pair of black and red plaid pajama pants, along with an old black tee shirt. I plugged my phone into the charger before crawling into bed. I turned on the lamp near my nightstand and grabbed The Book Thief from my drawer. I opened it to my bookmarked page, reading right where I had left off.

Every once in awhile my gaze would drift off towards my phone, checking to see if John had called or texted me. When the clock neared ten-fifteen, my eyelids began drooping and I put my book away, getting into a comfortable position on my bed. I closed my eyes and figured that if John called or texted me while I was asleep, I’d return the gesture in the morning.

______________________________________________________________

I could hear loud talking going on downstairs as I rolled over in bed. I let out a yawn and got up, rubbing my eyes. I lazily ran a hand through my hair as I opened my door. I made my way downstairs, and realized it was Libby and my aunt talking. As I walked into the kitchen, I stopped in the doorway, seeing Libby in tears with her head on her mom's shoulder.

"I can't believe he'd do this do me, mom. Garrett's supposed to be different," she sobbed.

My aunt sighed and ran her fingers through Libby's hair. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I know how much you love Garrett. Sometimes boys do stupid things to the girls who don't deserve it."

"Boys are so stupid," Libby agreed, wiping her eyes. "I don't even know how to talk to him now. He's been calling and texting me since last night ... What am I supposed to say to him, mom?"

"You don't have to say anything. Garrett's the one who owes you an explanation," she said.

I felt as if I were intruding on their conversation, so I backed out of the kitchen, going into the living room. I sat down on the couch, grabbing the remote. After flicking through channel after channel, I settled on watching Live with Regis and Kelly.

Halfway through the show, Libby came into the living room. When she noticed me, she took a seat beside me and let out a sad sigh. "I broke up with Garrett last night," she told me.

I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing. I stared wide-eyed at her. "Why? What happened?"

She sniffled and directed her gaze towards her hands. "Last night when we were at his house, we were making out ... And then his phone began ringing. After two calls, I told him to go ahead and answer it, I figured maybe it was something important, you know?" She looked at me, her green irises filled with hurt. "He said it was nobody and put his phone on the table, but it kept going off. After awhile, it began to irritate me and Garrett refused to answer it. So, when it went off again, I grabbed it and saw that it was a text message from some girl named Chelsea. She said how she missed him so much and couldn't wait to be in his arms again." She began sobbing and I wasn't sure how to handle the situation.

"Libby, I'm so sorry," I told her in a hushed voice.

She shook her head, wiping her eyes. "I just can't believe he would do this to me. I mean ... Garrett's never done anything like this. He's always been the perfect boyfriend and friend ... He always knows what to say to make me feel like a million bucks. This hurts so much, Harper," she cried, laying her head on my shoulder.

I tensed for a moment before wrapping my arms around her. "I can only imagine," I said.

She continued to sobbing on my shoulder and I continued to hug her, letting her know that I was here for her, even if I wasn't exactly sure how to be.

After some time had passed, she stood up and made her way to her room, without saying a word to me. I stared at the wall, feeling confused for a moment, before walking upstairs and going to my room.

I grabbed my towels and headed into the bathroom. I turned on the water in the shower as I shed my clothes. As I stepped under the water, I felt my body begin to relax and I was grateful.

____________________________________________________________

I hadn't seen Libby since this morning, being that she had taken to hiding out in her room. It was nearing three-thirty, and I had done nothing but sat on the couch and watched TV since my shower.

Just as an episode of Spongebob Squarepants came to an end, the doorbell rang. I walked to the door and was surprised to see both John and Garrett standing on the porch.

"Hi ..." Garrett said, looking at his feet.

"Hi," I said, just as quiet as he had.

John stepped in front of him, giving me a small smile. "Libby's home, right?"

I nodded my head. "She's in her room."

"Can you step back for a second?" he asked. I was confused by his request, but stepped to the side nonetheless. "Thanks." Without saying anything else, he grabbed the back of Garrett's shirt and pushed him forward, causing him to stumble near the entrance of the living room. "Get your ass up there and talk to her. Don't fuck it up either," John told him.

Garrett nodded his head slowly before making his way to the stairs. Once he was out of sight, John smiled at me and I couldn't help but to arch my brows at him.

"Libby's like my sister ... When Garrett called me early this morning and told me what happened, I had to do something," he explained with a shrug.

I couldn't help but to find the innocent expression on his face completely adorable. "That's sweet of you," I laughed.

He stepped inside and wrapped his arms around, placing a kiss on the top of my head. "How're you this fine afternoon?"

I let out another laugh before shrugging. "Bored, mostly, but I'm good. And you?"

"Pretty much the same thing. Although I did spend the majority of my morning listening to Ryan Adams and Garrett talk non-stop about Libby," he told me.

"Libby cried on my shoulder for a good hour," I said.

He laughed. "Sounds like we had similar morning."

I nodded my head and shut the door, not wanting to let any more of the AC out of the house. "Um ... Want to watch TV?"

He smirked. "Sure. What're you watching?" he asked, walking to the couch. "iCarly?" He arched his brows.

I felt my cheeks warming up as I grabbed the remote. "I was watching Spongebob, but it ended right before you came."

"Whew. Spongebob I can handle, but not iCarly," he said, sitting down.

I laughed and sat beside him, as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I flipped through channels, asking John every now and again if there was something in particular he wanted to watch. After a few moments, we decided to leave it on a music channel, being that nothing else seemed to interest us.

"So I was thinking, you should borrow my Weepies CD. I think you'd you like them," he told me.

I smiled. "I can't wait to hear it." A second later we could hear yelling coming from Libby's room before it went quiet again. "Why - why do you think Garrett cheated on her? I mean, Libby's gorgeous," I stated, looking at John.

He gave a subtle shrug. "Libby is beautiful, but sometimes we get sidetracked by our emotions. I don't know why Garrett cheated on her, I really don't, but I do know that Libby didn't deserve it."

I bit down on my bottom lip, nodding my head. I had a question that was burning in the back of my mind, but I wasn't sure how to ask it. I wasn't even sure if I should be asking it. "John?" I finally said.

He looked at me. "Yeah, babe?"

"Do - do you think it had something to do with sex?" I asked, nearly cringing as the latter part of my sentence left my mouth.

He gave a small chuckle. "I honestly doubt it."

"Why?"

He stayed quiet for a moment before answering. "Libby and Garrett ... Well, they have a pretty good sex life."

"Oh," I said, fixing my gaze back on the screen.

"Did you think they weren't having sex?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, no, I knew they were ... I just ... I don't know."

"Harper?" I turned and locked eyes with him. "You're a ... Virgin, aren't you?"

My face immediately went ablaze, and I quickly looked away from John. "Yes," I whispered, almost embarrassed to say it.

He laid a finger under my chin, making me look back at him. "That's nothing to be embarrassed about, Sweet Pea."

"Would you - would you cheat on me if I didn't have sex with you?" I blurted out, not even sure where the question or thought had come from.

He furrowed his brows before giving me a look. "No. Why would you think that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess this whole Libby and Garrett thing has me thinking ..."

He laced his fingers with mine. "Don't think too hard; your thoughts are becoming irrational."

I laughed and shook my head. "I'm sorry for asking that."

"Don't be. I want you to know, though, that I'll wait for however long it is until you're ready, Sweet Pea. I like you and not just for physical reasons," he told me.

I couldn't help but to smile like an idiot. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, placing a soft peck on my lips.

Just as we pulled away, my uncle came through the door.