Take a Breath and Hold On Tight

Elizabeth woke me up this morning at ten, just as my aunt had predicted. I learned quickly that she wasn’t shy in the least bit. Her Arizona sun-kissed skin, shoulder-length auburn hair and jade colored eyes made her look exotic. She easily towered over my 5’4” frame, as she stood at least 5’9”. She had a bright Colgate smile and it nearly blinded me when she hovered over my face this morning, to wake me up.

“Harper! Harper! GET UP! It’s your first official day in Arizona and we have so much to do before tonight!” she yelled.

I rubbed my eyes and let out a yawn as I sat up. “What are you talking about, Elizabeth?”

She cut her eyes at me. “Never call me Elizabeth, again.”

I was taken aback by her reaction. I nodded my head quickly. “Um, okay . . .”

She laughed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Harper. I just prefer to go by Libby.”

Libby? Where in the hell did that name come from? Instead of asking her, I just nodded my head and looked around the vibrant orange painted room.

“Well, are you gunna get up or what? We have a lot to do.”

I arched my eyebrows at her. “What do you mean?”

“I need to go to the mall and get an outfit for tonight and I figured you could come with me. Good time to catch up, you know? Plus, I was looking through the clothes in your suitcase and you really need a new outfit, too.”

I stood up and looked at my suitcase, which was now empty. Instead, my clothes lay in three piles on the carpet.

“El – Libby, I’m fine with staying here. Really.”

She shook her head. “Uh uh, you’re not getting out of this that fast. Plus, I sort of promised the guys that I’d introduce you to them.”

Guys? Libby was really about to give me a heart attack.

“Um, what guys?”

She giggled. “Well, there’s my boyfriend, Garrett, then our friends Kennedy, Pat, Jared and John. You’ll meet them all when we get to the mall.”

I shook my head side to side fiercely. Libby truly had no idea who I was. Because if she did, she would know that social outings were not my thing.

“Libby, really, I just kind of feel like staying in today.”

“Nonsense, Harper. It’s your first day here and you can’t sit in this house all day. Mom and dad will drive you nuts.” She gave me a smile and pointed her index finger at me. “You have thirty minutes to get ready!” She left the room and I groaned.

Maybe if I were able to speak up for myself, I wouldn’t be caught in this situation. I stumbled towards the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower, allowing it to warm up. I peeled my tank top and shorts from my body, before glancing in the mirror. My brown eyes looked dull and lifeless. They were also slightly puffy from the crying I did last night. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders as I stepped into the shower.

_________________________________________________________

After a good ten minute shower, it took me awhile to pick out an outfit. I mean, I was going to be meeting Eliz – Libby’s – friends and I wanted to make a good first impression. Hopefully, it would make up for my lack of personality.

After staring at the piles of clothes on my floor for a few good minutes, I decided on wearing a navy colored floral print tank top with a pair of light blue denim shorts. I slipped my feet into a pair of tan and white colored sandals and proudly pulled my dog tags out to the front of my shirt; one had a rainbow displayed on it and the other said equality, in capital letters. I wore it for my brother and for everyone else who found themselves in a similar position. I also grabbed the silver ring from my dresser and slipped it onto my thumb. The ring had belonged to Levy, and so my thumb was the only finger the ring fit properly on.

I hurriedly ran the brush through my long chestnut colored hair and grabbed my cell phone from the dresser, before walking downstairs. My aunt and uncle were sitting in the living room, watching some show and Libby looked like she was about to fall out of her skin from boredom. I let out a small laugh, which brought all of their gazes my way. Libby’s eyes widened.

“That’s what you’re wearing to the mall?” she asked me.

I looked down at my outfit and back at her. “Is it that bad?”

“Ye-“

“Hush, Elizabeth.” my aunt scolded her and turned to me. “You look beautiful, Harper. Don’t pay her any mind.” She gave me a smile and winked her eye.

I bit down on my bottom lip and nodded my head. Libby rolled her eyes.

“Well, mom and dad, we’re off to the mall!”

“Be careful and don’t leave your cousin by herself, Elizabeth. Remember, she’s never been here before,” my uncle reminded her.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed her keys from the table. “I know, dad, I know.”

I threw my aunt and uncle a wave, before following Libby out to her car. It was a 2008 silver Mazda 6. It was nice. Nicer than anything myself or my parents could afford. I sat down in the passenger seat and Libby stuck the key in the ignition.

“We have to stop by and pick up Garrett and John. Is that okay with you?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah, sure.”

She smiled and turned up the radio as we backed out of the driveway. The truth was, I wasn’t fine with going to pick up Garrett and John. I wasn’t fine with going out to the mall with Libby and her friends. My fingers clenched around the seatbelt and I shrunk down in my seat. I could already feel myself becoming insecure and it was causing me to feel uncomfortable. I shifted in my seat quite a few times as we pulled into the driveway of a brick house.

Libby honked the horn twice before pulling out her phone. “This is Garrett’s house. “

“Oh,” was all I said.

A minute later, two boys around Libby’s age emerged from the house. One was around Libby’s height, and had short, soft auburn colored hair and I noticed a nose ring in his left nostril. He was wearing a red, yellow and white plaid shirt with black skinny jeans. The boy walking beside him was much taller, and had longer light brown hair and as he smiled, I noticed his two rows of perfect teeth. He wore a yellow v-neck tee shirt and dark blue skinny jeans. He pushed the shorter boy against the car and blew a kiss at Libby who shook her head and laughed.

The backseat door opened and the tall, lanky boy was the first to enter the car.

“Did you see me totally own your boyfriend’s ass, Libby?”

She laughed and turned around. “You didn’t own shit, O’Callaghan. You caught him off guard.”

“Thank you!” the other boy exclaimed as he took a seat in the back. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Libby’s.

I immediately felt my face burning and I turned around, putting my stare back at the house.

Libby finally pulled away and looked at me. “Oh, guys, this is my cousin. Harper, this is John,” she told me and pointed to the tall one. “And this fine hunk of man is Garrett, my boyfriend.” She pointed to the shorter one.

“What’s up, Harper?” the one she introduced as John smiled and gave me a small wave.

“Harper. Interesting name, dude,” Garrett told me.

I gave them a small wave, without turning around. I knew my face was a blotchy shade of red and I didn’t want to embarrass myself already. Libby turned around and began driving once more.

“So, Harper, where’re you from?” John asked me.

“Houston, Texas,” I replied softly.

“Where?” he asked and leaned forward.

“Houston, Texas,” I repeated.

“Oh, wow. That’s cool,” he said.

I nodded my head and tightened my grip on the seatbelt. Libby didn’t seem to notice and I was thankful for that. I don’t think I could handle having this car ride go anymore awkward.

When we got to the mall, Libby immediately called one of her friends and announced to us that they were already here. We all got out, one by one, me being the last one. I stood beside the car, nervously, and Libby motioned for me to come over. I walked as slow as I could and noticed that John and Garrett were staring at me, as if I were some alien from outer space.

Garrett let out a snort, which turned into a laugh. I gave him a look and arched my brows.

“Garrett, what the hell are you laughing at?” Libby asked him, curiosity appearing on her own face.

“It’s just – I don’t want to seem mean, but,” he busted out laughing again and for some reason, I just had a gut feeling that he was laughing at me.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and tears were pricking my eyes. It was one thing to laugh at me behind my back, but to do it in front of my face, that was a whole other thing entirely. I backed away slowly, causing John and Libby to look at me.

“I mean, the outfit and the dog tags,” Garrett wiped his eyes. “Are you a lesbian?”

My eyes widened and a small gasp escaped my lips. I turned around quickly and ran to the passenger side of the car and opened the door. I slammed it shut and before I could even get the chance to stop myself, hot, salty tears were streaming down my face.

I should have stayed home.