Take a Breath and Hold On Tight

I had barely wiped away the first few tears that had fallen from my eyes, when I heard a tap on the window. I looked and saw Libby standing there, anger and concern decorated her face.

"Harp, hon, will you open the door?" she asked.

As much as I did not want to, my arm somehow pulled the lever and opened the door. I swear, sometimes it's as if my limbs have a mind of their own.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged and wiped the warm tears from my face. She sighed and squatted down, coming face to face with me.

"Look, don't listen to Garrett, okay? He was just being a jackass. I love him to death, but sometimes he can really be a complete moron." She offered me a smile and I returned a small one. "So, does that smile mean you'll come out?"

I sighed and looked down at my hands. "A - are the rest of your friends like Garrett?"

She laughed and shook her head. "No, the rest of them are actually total sweeties. Trust me, Harp."

I nodded my head, although I didn't really trust Libby. It wasn't anything personal towards her, but moreso my inability to trust anyone. She stood straight and moved to the side, allowing me to step out of the car. She locked the doors and we walked back over to John and Garrett. I felt Garrett's eyes on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Garrett, I think you know what you need to do," Libby told him with bitterness in her voice.

He nodded his head. "Harper, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off as . . . uh, rude. I don't really think before I talk, most of the time."

I only nodded my head and looked at Libby. She smiled and began walking towards the entrance of the mall. Her and Garrett walked ahead of John and I.

"Where are they at, Libbs?" John asked.

"Kenny said they were at F.Y.E."

"Oh."

We made our way through the mall, until we reached the entertainment store. Libby led us to the DVD section and I saw four bodies huddled around one movie stand. There was a boy with long, reddish-blonde hair. He was laughing at something a boy with long, shaggy, dark brown hair was saying. I assumed this, as he was making gestures with his hands and his mouth was moving in weird ways. A boy stood to the left of him, with shorter dark brown hair and he had his arms around a girl, who looked to be around Libby's age, with long, brown hair and electric blue eyes. A large smile adorned her face when her eyes landed on us.

"Libby!" she yelled.

Libby ran up to her and the two hugged each other. When Garrett, John and I reached the group, they all greeted each other as well and I stood to the side, unsure of what to say or do. I felt their eyes on me, though, and it made me cringe a little bit. I hated having attention on myself, and normally, I'd do anything to avoid it. However, Libby wouldn't have that.

She wrapped her arms around me and flashed a large smile. "Guys, this is my cousin, Harper. Harper, this is Jared." She pointed to the red head. "This is Pat." She pointed to the long, shaggy haired boy. "This is Kennedy and Kelsi." She pointed to the short haired boy and the girl with blue eyes.

They all smiled and waved at me and I gave a half-smile back. "Hi," I managed to mumble, although I wasn't sure if anyone actually heard it.

"Garrett, bro, we found this zombie movie for you," Jared told Garrett whilst shoving a DVD case into his chest.

"Really? What's it about?" he asked, looking the case over.

I watched as Jared, Kennedy and Pat began to explain the movie to him. Libby and Kelsi began to engage in their own conversation and I couldn't help but to feel a little out of place. I didn't belong here with Libby and her friends. They were all so . . . close and talkative and animated; traits that I desperately lacked. I rubbed my left arm with my right and bit down on my bottom lip as thoughts of simply running out of the store entered my mind.

Of course, though, I couldn't do that. I would only make myself look like even more of an idiot, and I really didn't need that. I wanted nothing more than to dissolve into the movie shelf I was leaning against and become invisible. The idea seemed more and more appealing to me as I continued to stand there awkwardly.

"You don't want to join your cousin and Kelsi in their girl talk?" John asked me with a large grin on his face.

I shook my head. "I - I don't really do girl talk."

He chuckled. "Oh? What kind of talk do you do then?"

I shrugged. "None, really."

I was surprised at myself for even answering John. There was something about his presence, this sort of easy going aura, that calmed me.

"I've noticed."

I was silent after that. I didn't really know how to respond.

"Hey, it's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm sort of the same way. Sometimes it's good to just sit back and listen, ya know?" he told me.

I nodded my head. "Yeah. I know."

After a few more minutes, Libby announced that Kelsi and I were going to go shop for new clothes and the guys immediately took off in the opposite direction, causing a laugh to erupt from Libby and Kelsi.

"Boys will be boys," Libby said.

"Who's going to carry my bags now?" Kelsi pouted.

Libby rolled her eyes. "Oh, shut up and carry your own damn bags, woman."

Kelsi laughed and we began walking.

"So, Harper, how're you liking Arizona?" she asked me.

"Um, I don't really know. It's technically my second day here, since I arrived yesterday, but my plane landed at five. So, really, this is my first real day here." I felt my cheeks heat up as I realized I had just rambled on to Kelsi about nothing.

She smiled. "I see. Well, hopefully you grow to love it. It's kinda hard not to."

Libby nodded her head in agreement. "Just wait, Harp: with us and the boys around, you'll be begging your parents to move to Tempe soon."

I smiled, although I highly doubted that statement. It was my first day here, and already I had been verbally attacked by one person. At the moment, I honestly disliked Tempe. Libby led us into an American Apparel store and began fingering through the racks. I stood to the side and watched her.

"Uh, what do you think you're doing?" she asked me.

I blinked a few times, unsure of what to say.

She pointed her index finger at me. "You, Missy, need to get to looking around. You need an outfit for tonight, remember?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Libby, really, I don't want to go anywhere tonight. I just want to stay home."

"I won't allow it," she told me whilst shaking her head.

A string of curse words ran through my brain, but I never vocalized them. Libby was as stubborn as they came and I knew no matter what I said, she was not going to let me stay home tonight.

"This would look cute on you, Harper," Kelsi told me while holding up a leaf printed babydoll shirt.

"It would, especially with the tie beneath the bust. You're getting it!" Libby said as she took the top from Kelsi, who laughed at her.

"What kind of clothes do you usually wear?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "Whatever's comfortable."

Kelsi smiled. "I think we're going to get along just fine."

I smiled shyly and continued letting Libby pick out clothes for me. I noticed that Kelsi was almost the opposite of Libby. She was level headed and nice, but witty at the same time. And while we shopped, she never pushed any clothes on me. If I shook my head 'no' to the item at hand, she'd put it back on the rack and continue searching. Her words rang true in my head: "I think we're going to get along just fine."

___________________________________________________

"Harper! For the love of God, are you almost done?!" Libby screeched at me through the bathroom door.

"I can't wear this, Libby."

"Open the door and let Kelsi and I see," she demanded.

I sighed and turned the golden colored doorknob. I bit down on my bottom lip and laid my gaze on the floor.

"You look fine, babe. What's wrong with the outfit?" Libby asked me.

I shrugged.

"You've gotta give us something, Harper," Kelsi told me.

"It's just . . . I don't know. I'm not used to dressing like this. I feel weird without pants on," I admitted.

Libby and Kelsi laughed.

"But you look adorable and everyone wears leggings nowadays. I wouldn't wear the shirt myself, but it looks good on you. It suits you," Libby said.

I didn't say anything, but it wasn't like I needed to: Libby dragged me over to her vanity and sat me down, whilst her and Kelsi went to work on my make-up and hair. I didn't have much say in the matter.

After a good fifteen minutes, Kelsi turned me around, allowing me to look in the mirror. The face reflecting back at me seemed foreign. I've never worn make-up in my entire life and the substance felt heavy on my face. However, I couldn't say that I didn't like the way it made me look, because I did. I actually felt average and not like the freak-show I usually did.

"Well, what do you think?" Kelsi asked me.

"I . . . like it?"

Libby squealed and clapped her hands together. "Success! Sweet success!" Her and Kelsi did a high five and I smiled. They seemed so enthusiastic about this.

"Just let me spray your hair a little more and then you'll be done," Kelsi told me.

I nodded my head and allowed her to add more hairspray to my hair. After a second, I stood up and followed them down the stairs. As I saw five pairs of feet, my heart began to race and realization began to hit me. I was going to a party - my first party ever - with Libby and her friends. I was going in black leggings and a blue tank, that left me feeling bare. I felt my palms begin to perspire as I realized I was going to be around boys. And, cute boys at that.

Libby cleared her throat and they all turned around, letting their conversation die.

"So, what do you think?" Libby spun around slowly and I noticed Garrett gawking at her slim figure.

"I think I want you. Right now," Garrett stated.

"Ew," Pat said and covered his ears, earning a laugh from everyone.

Kennedy smiled at Kelsi. "You look beautiful."

Garrett rolled his eyes. "You look beautiful," he said in a mocking voice, attempting to imitate Kennedy.

"Shut up, Gary," Kelsi laughed and wrapped her arms around Kennedy.

I leaned against the stairwell and looked down at the carpet. I wasn't expecting anyone to notice my appearance. In fact, I was hoping no one would, because it'd only make me that much more conscious.

"Guys, what do you think about Harper's new look?" Libby asked.

All five pairs of eyes glanced my direction. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I cursed myself for being so easily embarrassed. No doubt my face was as red as a tomato already.

"You look . . . different. But, I like it," Pat smiled and at the same time, I felt John's green orbs staring straight at me. I chose to ignore it, as I was already blushing deeply.

I returned the smile. "Thanks," I replied softly.

"Well, guys, I say we bust a fucking move. The party started twenty minutes ago!" Jared announced.

And just like that, they all bolted for the door; Libby dragging me behind her.