Lust or More

Draco walks in with his head down and drops himself on my bed. I stare down at his face with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Not from his appearance, although this would have been enough to make most feel sorry for him. From the stress, he was losing weight causing his skin to stick unhealthy to his bones. The dark bags under his eyes add to his sickly look. If it wasn’t for the tears running down his face, I would think he was a corpse. It wasn’t his appearance, but the timing that gave me the sinking feeling. For school was soon coming to an end, if he didn’t get the cabinet to work he could be died. “Draco, desperate time call for desperate measure, maybe you should let Snape help you.” I caress his face growing more concern by the low temperature of his body.
“I don’t need his help, I got the cabinet working.” He open his blood shot eyes to give me a dead stare.
“Then why aren’t you celebrating, this is great news. You are in the clear.” I bounce up and down shaking the whole bed.
“Celebrating, why would I be celebrating? Have you forgotten the part where I have to kill a man?” He shot up, to give me a cold stare that stop my movements.
“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. It’s so selfish that I would sacrifice even someone I don’t care for, just so I could have my happiness.” I look down at my lap in shame. The sorting hat definitely got me right I would go to any means to achieve my ends.
“Its fine, a part of me feels the same way.” He let out a defeated sigh, before lying down again. I lay down next to him. “It’s going to happen tonight.” He whisper so softly I wouldn’t have heard it if I wasn’t an inch away from him.
“What!” I sat up, not believe how fast all this was coming so real to me. I took deep breaths trying to calm myself down. It making no sense why I was panic I knew for a while that this was going to happen. I support him, got him the book to help him fix the cabinet. I beg him to at least let me keep him company while he fixed it. I was happily helping him get ready to kill a man. I was losing my train of thought as I was finding it hard to breathe and my vision was going fuzzy.
Draco grabs my face and turns it to him. “Look at me, concentrate on me. Nothing else, take deep breath. In, Out, In, Out.” He took deep breaths with me. “It’s not too late to back out. I didn’t tell my parents about us.” As my vision became clearly again, I could see that he was sincere. If I did back out, he wouldn’t hold it against me.
“I want to be with you. It’s just for so long I focus on fixing the cabinet and not the actions that would follow. It hit me all at once that the whole time we were working on killing someone.” I felt stupid explain this to him. He was always aware of that fact. He wasn’t like me playing a fantasy in his head that once we fix the cabinet we would live happily ever after. I was starting to wonder if I even deserve a happy ending.
“Normally I would talk this all out with you, but I don’t have time. I still have things I need to do. Are you sure you want to be involved with all of this? It’s only going to get worst and after this there will be no turning back.” He gave me one last opportunity to keep my hands somewhat clean.
“I love you, Draco Malfoy. I wouldn’t be able to keep my sanity if I wasn’t with you in this time.” I knew that if I did turn him down now, I would later be running to Malfoy Manor for the need would come too great to know that he was safe.
“Alright then, I need you to listen carefully. Tonight after everyone going to sleep, I’m going to let the death eaters in. We are going find Dumbledore and I will kill him. We will escape into the dark forest, ending up at my house. You will be waiting for me at the edge of the dark forest.” He keeps eye contact with me the whole time to make sure I was getting every step.
“The dark forest’s edge is long, how will I know what part to meet you at.” I didn’t want to be on the wrong side and miss him completely.
“After killing Dumbledore the dark mark will be put in the sky, you need to go to it.” He pulls up his sleeve to remind me what it look like.
“Okay, I’ll pack light.” I nods, part of me wanted to get everything over with and another part wanted the moment to never come.
“No need for that, pack everything up. Some death eaters will come up here to take your things for you. Put everything you want to take on the bed. I’ll bring my stuff in here too.” I was relieved that this plan seems to be so well thought out.
“Most of your stuff is in here already.” The only thing he didn’t have in here was his school book, seeing as he normally used mine to do his homework when he was in my room.
“Yeah, I suppose it is. Listen the next part is the most important for your survival.” He pauses to make sure I was paying attention, like I wasn’t already trying to remember what he said word for word. “You need to act normally. No saying goodbye in any type of way to Robert, Luna, or even Blaise. Go about your day as mundane as possible.”
“I think I can do that.” I bite my lip, the feeling of a panic coming on already.
“No thinking or trying. You need to know, you need to do it.” He places his hands on my shoulders to give them a firm squeeze.
“I can do this. I’ll pack everything now. I’ll go to my last class and dinner. Shower, dress all in black with Sophia in my pocket to run away with you.” I got off the bed to start opening drawers.
“That’s good, remember don’t cry when you see Robert in class.” He reminds me of the hardest task of my day. I was just got Robert back and now I was going to lose him again.
“Can I cry now?” I picture Robert’s smiling at me while pulling out the chair next to him like he always does. I’ll be the only one to know that it would be the last time. Draco pulls me in and let me cry on his chest.
“In some ways this is harder for you than me, because I didn’t make real friends here. I promise you when this is all over I’ll do everything I can to get you back to them.” He rubs my back as he whispers in my ear. Even though, I knew it was a promise that he may not be able to keep seeing as a war was about to happen I was still touch. I pull him down by his neck to give him a kiss. Draco picks me up and drops me back on the bed. “If we had time I would, but we don’t. Start packing.”
I nod my head as he gave me one last kiss before leaving. I pick up my empty trunk that was already enchanted with an undetectable extension charm. I began throwing everything that was Draco’s, Sophia’s, or mines in there. I decide to leave my bathroom supplies as to not arouse suspicions of my dorm mate or more like bathroom mate seeing that was all we shared. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and put on a new coat of make-up. When I didn’t look like I had been crying anymore, I made way to history of magic.
It was exactly how I imagine it would be when I step into the room. Robert smile widely as he pull out the chair next to him. I smile back as I sat down. “Hello Nikki, ready to be bored out of your mind?” The corner of his mouth curl upward, making his smile look wicked.
“Between you and Binns I’m sure I’ll get a nice nap this class session.” I was surprise how easy it came to me. I suppose a part of me was happy to pretend, so I could forget about the awful thing that was about to happen in a few hours.
“Just for that I’m not responding to any notes you past me.” He held his hand over his heart. I roll my eyes knowing that he would be happy to write back to me, once Binn started speaking.
I cherish every moment of that class as we pass notes, made faces at each other, and giggling at other kids fighting their sleep. When we got to the great hall, I couldn’t help but hug him tighter than usual as we part way to go to our tables.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. We got charm first thing bright and early.” He laughs as the disgusted face I pull.
“I’ll see you.” I said, wishing it was true. That I would be in charm tomorrow, anger at how much easier he was getting everything then me. But in reality tomorrow, I would be in Malfoy Manor, scared out of my mind of what was going to come next. After one last playful nudge, he walks over to the Hufflepuff’s table. I went to the Slytherin’s table, sitting next to Draco and across from Blaise.
“Mate, you need to go to the hospital wing you look died.” Blaise leans back, not wanting to catch whatever illness Draco had. Not that you could catch stress and insomnia.
“You are going to be died if you keep bugging me.” Draco growls at him as he aggressive took a bite out of his turkey leg.
“Suit yourself. Why you’re with such a stubborn git Nicole, I’ll never know.” Blaise turn to talk to me.
“I don’t even know myself.” I laugh as Draco put his turkey leg in front of my face to take another intense bite out of it. The rest of dinner went as normal with us poking funny at each other and gossiping about people.
“Nicole Lopes not running to her beloved bed as soon as the feast is over, call the paper it’s a memorial.” Blaise dramatically gasp and made his eyes big in awe.
“I ate too much, and now I don’t want to move.” I rub my stomach.
“You did eat a lot of dessert, like half a pumpkin pie.” He states as if you were part of a freak show.
“Gentleman don’t talk about how much a woman eat, I only allow gentleman around me. So, good day, sir” I got up and march out of the great hall. I heard Blaise’s laughter and Draco’s footsteps. I walk slower as we got closer to the common room.
“It’s okay. I will make sure you will only have minimum involvement. Not just with this mission, but with everything.” He grabs my arm to give me the pull I need to walk in the common room and up the stairs to my dorm. We silently move around each other as we got ready to do what we had to do. I took a bath and dress in black jeans paired with a black t shirt. I was hoping the dark color would make it harder to see me. Draco put on a black on black suit.
“Killing in style,” I look him up and down. I was trying to lighten the mood, in hope that it would stop nerves that was rising in me.
“Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up before I go. You will leave half an hour after me. It would be best to wait in the middle of the edge of the dark forest, that way you’ll have a better chance of catch up to us.” He ignores my comment and got right down to business. It did calm my nerves for once again he was confirming that everything was plan out from his big part to my small one.
“How am I supposed to sleep?” I never felt more wired in my life.
“I don’t know, but try for me.” He sat down on the bed, patting his lap. I lay down with my head resting on his thighs. I close my eyes and clear my mind as I took shallow breathes.

I wake from my head jerking down as I lost my pillow. “It time, I’m leaving now.” Draco whispers to me.
“I love you.” I got up to pull him into a tight hug.
“Stop it, I’ll see you soon.” He gave me a kiss on the head, before pulling out of my embrace to walk out. I stare at the door for a few minutes after he left, hoping he come back in and say it was all some kind of mean practical joke, or test of my loyalty. I shook my head trying to get rid of the wishful thinking. I sat in front of my vanity and parted my hair into two pieces before braiding them.
It only took me ten minutes, but deciding it was better to be little early then too late. I was grabbing Sophia from her cage, when the ring on her tail caught my eye. “Nathan, we have to get Nathan.” I couldn’t leave my niffler to defend for himself. I have been bringing him food, water, and other luxury. I wasn’t sure if he knew how to hunt and gather. My heart aches at the thought of him weathering away waiting for me to come take care of him. I grab a coin purse knowing he wouldn’t leave without some of his treasures. I lace up a pair of black shoes and throw on a black jacket with big pockets. I put Sophia in a pocket before running out. I ran all the down to the tree that he dug a hole under. I call his name over and over, hoping he was there and not running around steal more stuff. I let out a breath that I didn’t relieves I was holding when he came crawling out of his hole.
“Take this and put all the stuff you want in, we have to go.” I shove the coin purse at him. He tilts his head. “HURRAY UP… I don’t have time to explain.” I yell in panic but right after I curse myself internal as I remember I couldn’t be caught out here. He went back into his hole. I hope that he was doing as told. It was a few agonizing minutes, before he pop back out with the coin purse bursting at the seams. I grab him and the coin purse and shove them into my empty pocket.
I was hoofing and puffing when I got to edge of the dark forest. I didn’t have to wait long for the dark mark to appear in the sky. It looks to be coming out of the astronomy tower. I ran over there as fast as my legs would carry me. I had to stop abruptly when a woman with long wild black hair ran in front of me. She must have seen me out of the corner of her eye, because she turn around and stalk over to me. I gasp as I recognize her as Bellatrix Lestrange. Although she look every bit of crazy as she did in the paper, she was much beautiful in person with her high cheekbones, plump lips, and big brown eyes. “Are you Draco’s or a witness that needs to be taken care of?” The excitement in her eyes said she was hoping it was the latter.
“She’s with me,” I jump as Draco grabs my arm.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” She ran a hand down the left side of my face. I shook in fear, causing a big smile to spread over her face.
“We don’t have time for your games, Lestrange.” My eyes open wide at the new person to join the group, Professor Snape.
“Always ruining the fun,” She pouts, before running off. Draco grabs my hand and forcing me to run alongside him. After we got a safe distance from the castle, Lestrange and Snape used apparition to get out of there.
“Ready?” He looks down at me. I put my hands in my pocket to hold on to my pets. He grabs my elbow and the uncomfortable trip began. I could feel blood dripping from my hands from the animals digging their claws in. I was catching my breath to see that we were standing in one of the liver room in Malfoy Manor.
“You disappointed me, Draco.” His father sneer in disgust. Draco kept his head down not meeting anyone eyes. It click it my head that Snape must have been there, because Draco wasn’t able to kill Dumbledore.
“The job got done that is all that matters.” Ms. Malfoy glares at her husband, before hugging her son who was stilling holding my elbow.
“Is no one going to introduce me?” Lestrange circle around me as she plays with my hair. I try to keep my face blank, but my body naturally grew stiff when she pushes her body against my back.
“Her name is Nicole Lopes. She is Draco’s long time girlfriend. Lopes this is Bellatrix Lestrange, I’m sure you have already heard about her insaneness.” Snape spoke in his bored tone that he saves for lectures.
“Lopes, as in one of the writers for the silly newspaper?” She swirls around me and stare at my face, trying to see some similarity between my father and I. She wouldn’t find any, I was the spitting imagine of my mother.
“The Quibbler,” I correct her. He neglected me most of my life, but he was my father. He still worked hard to make sure I had a roof over my head, clothes on my body, and food in my stomach.
“You didn’t tell me that this would be the one you bring home.” Mr. Malfoy spoke about me as if I was a dog at the pet store.
“It was my decision. I didn’t need to consult you.” He finally looks up to glare at his father.
“It’s been a long day for both of you, why don’t you guys go to bed.” Mrs. Malfoy defuses the argument before it could start. I had a feeling this was something she did a lot.
Draco’s hand went from my elbow to my lower back as he guides me to his room. I took out the animals after he close and lock the door. “You brought the niffler. Why would you do that? Are you bleeding?” His whisperers went from aggressive to concern.
“I had to bring him, he doesn’t know how to hunt and gather.” I clings Nathan closer to my chest.
“If anyone catches him stealing, they will kill him in a way that much more painful then starvation.” He warns me. I stare at the ground trying to think of a solution.
“For now I’ll keep him in Sophia’s cage and later we get him a big aquarium where he can dig. I’ll put my own jewelry in so he’ll be content.” I put them both down on my trunk that somehow beat us here to grab his hands pleading with him to let my niffler live safely here.
“I believe we have an aquarium, from when mom was looking for company when I first went to Hogwarts. They didn’t bring her any joy.” It sadness me to think that Ms. Malfoy spend all her time lonely while Draco was at school. “I’ll find it tomorrow. You should go clean yourself up. You’re dripping blood on the floor. I’ll get them in the cage.” He opens the trunk as I hurried to the bathroom.
I wash my hands and open the cabinet to try finds bandages. “Take this.” I jump as Draco grabs a vial out of the cabinet to hand it to me. I swallow it and watch as my cuts heal rapidly. “Let go to bed. We have a long way to go.” He wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles his face into my neck.
“Draco, do you know what going to happen?” I wouldn’t be able to sleep with some unknown dangerous lurking so near in the future.
“No, but my mom promise me that there’s a way to keep whatever girl I picked out of all the violence.” He put his chin on my shoulder as he stare at our reflections. I nod my head, wondering what I would have to do to stay out of the war. A part of me felt cowardly that I was going to be hiding in this mansion while people where dying, because of their blood status.
“DRACO!” I scream as he throws me over this shoulder and carried me to bed. I giggle as I bounce from him dropping me on the soft surface. I wiggle out of my jeans and pull my jacket and shirt over my head, before getting under the covers. He strips down to his boxers and joins me. “Can I be the big spoon?” I try to push him to lie on his side away from me, but he didn’t move.
“No.” He successful push move me over and trap me in his arms. I pout for a few seconds pretending to be mad, when I heard his quiet snoring. I quit the act and I allow myself to go to sleep.