Days of the Old

“Mini-Mini-Mini-Mini-Mini!” Someone sang over and over again in my ear, and it was obvious who it was. I groaned and rolled over, took a pillow and chucked it at Jimmy’s face.

“Shut the fuck up,” I mumbled, still half asleep. It was nine AM, maybe ten, tops. And I had been up late last night. The last thing I wanted was Jimmy waking me up at such an unnatural hour, especially on a Saturday.

I heard Jimmy gasp and stumble back slightly, and people laughing from my doorway. Great, so it wasn’t just Jimmy. I had no hope of getting back to sleep then, but I wasn’t willing to give up so soon. “There’s a surprise for you downstairs, Patey,” Matt said, and my ears pricked at the mentioning of a surprise.

Rolling over again to face them, I scrutinized all of the guys crowding the doorway, and Jimmy, who was a few feet across from my bed, staring at me shocked for hitting him in the face with the pillow. They looked serious enough, although excited, but serious nonetheless. “My surprise can suck my ass,” I mumbled, burying my head in my pillow.

“Ugh, well that’s it!” Jimmy yelled, yanking my blankets from me. He was lucky I had PJ’s on. I didn’t get a chance to protest because he had me picked up as soon as he had thrown my blankets on the floor. He quickly set me on my feet and gave me a small push forward, his hands on my shoulders to steer me.

It had been about two weeks since I’d spilled my guts to Matt, and subsequently everyone else (they had interrogated me even further and figured out that Andy had started the fight), and my ribs were healing up well—they didn’t hurt a quarter as much as they once had. I was back in school since last week, and it took me the entire week I had off to convince Matt and everyone not to go to the principle and tell him what they had learned. Hell, I knew he wouldn’t even believe me anyway.

Andy had gone back to how our ‘relationship’ had been like before the mess with his girlfriend happened, shooting a death glare at me every time he saw me, maybe we’d throw a couple of insults back and forth, but nothing more. I was slightly thankful he hadn’t tried to start anything else, as I more than likely wouldn’t be able to hold myself back from kicking his ass a second time.

But it was over with, it was done and I didn’t want to go back to how things were. I only had another six days of grounding left.

As I made my way down through the hall, Jimmy and all the guys following closely behind, I couldn’t help but be paranoid something unidentifiable was going to come out and hit me in the face. “It’s way too early for this shit,” I grumbled, and almost slipped on the first step of the stairs, I would have had more broken ribs if Jimmy hadn’t been there to steady me.

He sighed in mock frustration and stopped me halfway down the stairs. “Would you wake the fuck up and look at the door?” He said, which only made me sigh and actually look up to see what my ‘surprise’ could possibly be.

What I saw would have made me stop in my tracks, and then I understood why Jimmy had stopped me himself. It wasn’t a thing they had as a surprise for me, it was a person. “Tyler?” I asked, squinting and rubbing my eyes to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

He stood in the entrance, looking all cute and innocent, as if he hadn't completely fooled me last night by saying he was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend and wouldn't be able to talk to me. "What? No hugs for your best friend, who, by the way, you haven't seen in months?" He asked, and that was all it took for me to take the stairs two at a time until it was safe for me to jump straight into his arms.

Catching me easily, he laughed and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace, I had almost forgotten how comforting and familiar his hugs were, and I smiled when he set me on my feet.

"Dude, I missed you so much!" I said and brought him into another hug, not being able to stop myself. He laughed when I pulled away, and I simply grinned up at him.

We'd gained an audience, all the guys were still on the stairs, grinning triumphantly for their accomplishment of keeping me in the dark about Tyler visiting, and all the girls were cooing in the kitchen archway.

"I missed you too, P," He said, grinning too as he took in the guys and girls.

"Have you been introduced to everyone yet?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Yep, I just got in though," He said gesturing toward his duffel bag. I noticed three other things beside it though, two of them familiar. My practice amp and the box full of pictures and home videos that I'd been waiting months for, but a hardshell guitar case was stood upright by the door. I didn't recognize that.

Tyler noticed me looking and his grin intensified, his eyes shining in excitement. "Matt told me about how he was having trouble getting you stuff freighted out, so I figured I'd just take it with me," His smile faltered, and mine turned into a worried frown as his expression grew solemn. "Patey—I found something, in your mom's car,"

Tears pricked at the back of my eyes then when I figured out what it was. "Please Ty, tell me that's not what I think it is." I said, my voice coming out shaky.

"It is," He said, and I couldn't stop the tears from coming then, so I buried my head in his chest, not wanting everyone to see me cry. They were all silent, trying to figure out what was going on, but they knew not to say anything because they knew it was about my mother.

After a few moments, I forced the tears back and pulled away, turning around so my back was to the guys and angrily wiped at my eyes. I took a small step forward, hesitant to even look at what was inside the case.

I mechanically gripped the handle and set the case down so it was lying on the floor, quickly unbuckling it. Taking a deep breath, I readied myself and carefully opened it, and closed my eyes once I caught sight of what was in it.

My heart felt like it was getting ripped to shreds all over again. The rich smell of the felt lining entered my nose, and I breathed in deeply, finding it slightly calming. Inside the case was a Schecter Hellraiser, the same one I’d been drooling over in music class every day except it was all black, and the one I’d been begging my mother to get me before she died. She'd refused; at least I thought she had.

She was going to surprise me with it at Christmas. All along I thought that she hadn’t accepted my love for music, but I was wrong and this clearly proved it.

Sucking in a deep breath, I closed the case and stood, slapping a happy smile onto my face. Everybody was staring at me worriedly, and Matt looked torn between comforting me or giving me some space. I ignored the concerned eyes that were on me and turned toward Tyler. “Ty, you have to see the lounge downstairs. It’s so friggin’ rad!” I grabbed his hand and began hauling him toward the kitchen.

“Ah, Payton!” Matt called, leaning over the stair railing, and I stopped to look up at him in irritation. “You’re forgetting something, you’re grounded.” I let out a sigh of disappointment, letting my hand go limp in Tyler’s hold. “But, I guess I can cut it to a week early.”

“Six days!” I corrected, now grinning up at him. I needed to get downstairs before I broke down crying. He rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “Thanks Matt!” I hollered, and quickly resumed in leading Tyler downstairs.

His reaction to the recording studio was much the same as Dannii’s and mine had been—shell shocked and slack jawed. There was something different though, papers were littered all over the top of the soundboard to the point where you couldn’t even see it, as well as all over the end tables and the small sofa.

It looked like the guys had done a lot of writing of the past few weeks.

The lounge wasn't as bad, but there are still a few sheets of paper scattered over all the coffee tables, and quite a few of the guitars and basses had been taken down from the walls and were laid around haphazardly. I continued on, leading Tyler all the way to the back of the room where one of Jimmy's drum kits were set up, and gestured for him to sit behind in.

He looked as if he were on could nine as he took a pair of drumsticks out of the holding on the hi-hats and looked back at me wide-eyed. I nodded exaggeratedly, and backed up, knowing it was going to get loud. He started off small, testing the kit out and getting used to all the cymbals, but soon he was pounding out crazy double and triple bass beats, bouncing powerfully against my chest and in my ears. I looked at Jimmy, and he was studying Tyler closely.

Even though he'd been there for a few minutes, I still couldn't believe Tyler was really here. I'd gone all these months wishing he were there and now that he was, it all just seemed so surreal.

An arm was placed over my shoulders, and I looked up at Matt, still managing to keep the smile on my face when I noticed he had brought the guitar down with him. "Are you going to use it?" He asked quietly once Tyler had paused in his playing, Jimmy had walked over and was standing behind him, probably giving him tips and pointers. "Your mom would want you to."

I took a long glance down at the guitar case, closed my eyes and sighed. He was right, my mother had bought me that guitar because she wanted me to play it, and she wouldn't want it to be collecting dust like it had been for the past few months. I nodded, hesitantly at first, but the more I thought about it, the better the idea sounded.

Matt smiled and gave my shoulder an encouraging squeeze before setting the guitar case down and opening it, passing it to me once he had taken it out. "Yo, Zacky?" Zacky looked up from his place on the sofa when he heard Matt calling his name. "Could you get me a strap?" He nodded and got up, leaving the lounge and coming back a few moments later with a guitar strap.

Adrenaline began flowing through my veins then, just thinking about playing the guitar. To me, it was just a guitar, it was one of the last connections to my mom I had left, and I was going to hold onto it for as long as I could.

Noticing what was going on, Brian was up and messing with a halfstack, passing me a cable when he was finished with it. I smirked at him after I had hauled the strap over my head; it just felt so right holding the guitar. I skipped over to Tyler, who had completely stopped what he was doing when he saw me with the guitar, and quickly whispered the name of a song into his ear.

“You’re really gonna do this?” He asked, now smirking too, just as excited as I was.

Even though I’d been there for months, I felt more comfortable—confident—when Tyler was with me. It was a simple fact that had been accepted long ago, but some would probably call me more annoying around him than outgoing. I quickly went back to where I’d been standing before, looked back at Tyler and nodded as a ‘go ahead’.

Everyone had been watching us since I had approached Tyler, knowing something was up, and they all smiled encouragingly, although I had no doubt knowing I was going to ace this. Tyler quickly launched into ‘Almost Easy’, which sounded amazing on The Rev’s kit as it should, and I quickly followed with the guitar.

“I knew it!” Brian yelled a few minutes later when we had finished the song, and I looked down in embarrassment. “I knew you were an A7X fan!”

During the song, it felt as if my mother was actually there—watching me shred, and encouraging me to keep playing. I hadn’t even wanted to stop when the song was over, and I looked back to Tyler, allowing him to choose the next song.

A mischievous smirk graced his features then, and I stared at him warily. “Hey, P,” He started, obnoxiously loud. “You wanna sing on this next one?”

Had I not been glaring at Tyler, completely mortified, I probably would have thought seeing everyone’s head snap up at hearing that funny. “You stupid Llama!” I said, reading to kick the crap out of him.

That was not supposed to happen. “What—Payton, can you sing?” Matt asked, just as loud as Tyler. I held onto the neck of my guitar a little tighter, not being able to meet his gaze. I was stuck then. I had promised not to keep anything from him, and if I said ‘no’, it would be a complete and utter lie.

“Yes—no—maybe.” I finally settled, feeling my cheeks burn in embarrassment as I was still staring at my guitar.

Just as I had been expecting, everyone began begging me to sing a song. I had anticipated that before I had even thought about telling them the truth. There was no getting around the fact that I was nervous as hell, though. The only people who had ever heard my singing voice were my mom and Tyler, and the thought of singing in front of such a crowd of people scared me stiff.

“An A7X song!” Zacky yelled over everyone else’s voices, which only made me even more nervous. “How about that?” Matt had gotten up as soon as he heard anything about singing and had a microphone already set up in front of me.

Finally, I gave in and huffed, looking back and giving Tyler a fleeting glance before getting straight into the song, hoping it would mess him up, but he quickly recognized the song and began playing in sync with me.

“Somewhere life is good, and things go as they should
It's hard to find, but that's alright yeah
Searching for the way, push harder everyday
It's deep inside, that shining light yeah
But I'm scarred, by barriers placed in my path
I'm scathed”

For the briefest of seconds between the first and second verse, I glanced up to see everyone’s reaction. They were all shocked, but they looked ecstatic and encouraging. Just from that glance at them, I grew more confident, and began belting out the next few verses and chorus. I realized that all of the people—all of the friends—in the room, I considered family. And I was comfortable singing for them, I wanted to share something like this with them.

The last two verses was quickly coming up, and I relaxed a little, remembering that a child sang it, and I softened the hard tone I’d become accustomed to in order to sound like Matt and sang it softly.

“There's nothing here to take for granted
With each breath that we take
The hands of time strip youth from our bodies,
We fade,
Memories remain,
As time goes on

There's nothing here to take for granted
With each breath that we take
The hands of time strip youth from our bodies,
We fade,
Memories remain,
As time goes on”

I stepped away from the mic, stealing glances at everyone. Tyler was proud of me, all of the girls were squealing in excitement, the guys were just plain shocked, and Matt couldn’t wipe the proud smile off of his face even if he wanted to. Good reactions, I would say.

It felt amazing to be able to sing again, and not have to worry about anyone finding out about it, either.

To avoid any further embarrassment, I unplugged my guitar and carefully set in back in it case, my fingers lingering over the strings for just a moment before I closed and locked the case.

“You fucking rock, Mini!” Jimmy said, who was still standing beside Tyler. Everyone laughed. “I’m serious—you’re like a superhero! You can kick the crap out of a guy twice your size, you’re... you’re good at paintball! Not to mention you can fucking rock a guitar. And then you go and drop this bombshell on us!”

Sitting down on one of the sofas, I took a seat between Brian and Matt, staring at my hands in my lap. I looked up at Brian warily when he took my wrist in his hand and spread my fingers out with the other, staring at them in wonder. “Your fingers are just so tiny! And they move so fast...” He mumbled, bringing my hand a little closer to examine it. “I just don’t know how you can play a song like that and sing so well at the same time, live no less.”

“Uh... thanks, I think.” I said once he placed my hand back on my lap.

Okay, I may have liked sharing my voice with them, but I was getting a little embarrassed with all of the attention on me, and looked over at Tyler who had taken a seat next to Johnny and Jimmy, and began smirking. “Hey, Tina? How’s about we have a beach day?”

Tyler’s eyes lit up at the idea and everyone else made sounds of agreement, and I was being honest when I suggested it. I hadn’t even been swimming at the beach in the past few months, and it was freaking California. It was about time.

“Hey, you know what? I just got an idea,” I said, grinning as I got up in a hurry, ignoring everyone’s looks of curiosity. “I’ll be right back!”

In ten seconds flat, I was sitting on top of the counter in the island, my phone in hand as I dialled Dannii’s number. A groan echoed through the phone, and my eyes snapped toward the clock, it was just after eleven AM, Dannii was asleep.

“Dannii!” I yelled, laughing as she groaned again. “We’re having a beach day, and I want you to come, okay? There’s someone I want you to meet!” I said, trying my best to sound overly-excited.

There was some grumbling over the phone, I heard something about ‘twenty minutes’, and then she hung up. Pressing ‘end’, I took that as a yes and smirked triumphantly.

I had big plans for today.