Days of the Old

“Payton, wake up,” Someone gently shook my shoulder, and on instinct, I grabbed a pillow and chucked it in their general direction, groaning as I turned toward the wall.

It had only been about an hour since I had gotten to sleep, and I was going to make sure whoever was attempting to wake me up was going to go through hell to even get me to respond to them.

“Come on, Payton, we have to leave in an hour.” A deep chuckle echoed through my room and I was quickly brought to my senses, realizing just who was trying wake me up.

I didn’t even look at Matt as I hauled myself up and brushed past him, stumbling across the hall and into the bathroom. I may have been awake, but I was barely alert as I groggily locked the door and peeled out of the previous nights clothing. As tired as I was, I was surprised I even made it to my bed the night before, let alone having the energy to change into some PJ’s.

As much as I wanted to stay in the shower until it woke me up, I faintly remembered Matt saying something about leaving in an hour, so I had to make it quick.

However, once I was out and was securely wrapped in a towel, I realized I’d forgotten to bring any clothes with me. Wouldn’t that be fabulous, I thought sarcastically, if I accidentally flash Matt while trying to get to my room.

Leaning against the door, I listened for movement in the kitchen. If he was in the living room, he wouldn’t be able to see.

Outside, footsteps and a car door slamming shut made me want to jump for joy. I sprung at the opportunity and made a mad dash into my room, closing and locking my door behind me. Letting out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding, I turned toward one of the three duffel bags I’d packed last night, cussing myself out for not remembering to leave extra clothing out. I plucked up whatever was on top, not caring if it didn’t match.

Thankfully, the black distressed skinny jeans and an Atreyu t-shirt didn’t go too badly together, and I threw on a black hoodie to complete the look. With my hair wet around my shoulders, I went back into the bathroom, continuing my morning routine.

As I dried and straightened my hair, I began wondering what the hell happened to me last night. I don’t ever remember being so emotional in my entire life, and if I was in my right mind, I would have said so much more than that petty excuse for a comeback.

My promise to Tyler floated its way back into my mind, and I scowled at the thought of actually trying to get along with Matt. I knew as soon as I met him that it would be next to impossible. And let’s face it, I’m not going to be able to talk to him without getting into an argument. Especially after that little stunt he pulled last night. Did he really think he could act like a parent, as if he’d been there all the time?

He was making everything so much harder. If he had been cool about my sneaking out last night, I wouldn’t have been feeling so...strongly about him. Resentment and rebellion flared up in me and I clenched my jaw as I recalled the past nights events.

I wasn’t going to open my mouth around him, as I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to control what would come out of it. So then, naturally, I began twisting the promise I made to Tyler to fit my situation. If not talking to Matt means not telling him off, that technically means I’m giving him a chance, right?

... Right. I was still sticking to my promise, or at least I had to think that to keep myself sane.
“Payton?” Matt called through the bathroom door, and I tore my eyes away from the mirror, staring at it blankly, hoping that if I didn’t answer, he’d just go away. “Payton? We have to leave in a few minutes.” Still, when I didn’t respond, he continued. “You okay?” Worry welled in his voice, causing me to groan and unplug my straighter.

Why was he always so worried about me? Whenever I was around him, he was always shooting worried glance at me or asking me if I was ‘okay’. Did he think I was suicidal or something? Sure, within the first ten seconds of meeting him I beat out a car windshield, but I’d hardly call that something to worry over.

Deciding my hair was good enough; I turned toward the door and all but whipped it open. I quickly passed Matt, breezing through my room to get my backpack. I hadn’t put much in it, just my laptop, iPod, and wallet.

Before opening my door, I turned back around to take the state of my room in. It was bare; the only thing left was my furniture and things like my amp, which I was now regretting not buying a case for. It was just a practice amp, but the only one I owned. Everything that was at Tyler’s house, he owned. His parents loved his passion for music, and gave him whatever his heart desired. Unlike my mom, who was always somewhat negative about me having anything to do with music, only giving me the essentials to play guitar.

At least now I knew the reason why. Because my ‘father’ was a fucking rock star who more than likely just up and left my mom when he found out she was pregnant. If I were her, I would be a little hesitant if my kid wanted to go down the same path.

Sighing, I put my coat on and hauled my backpack over my back, giving my room one last painful, longing glance before I left.

This was really it. I was leaving. Nothing would ever be the same, that much was certain. And I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to like any of it. I wanted to stay here, have a sleepover with my best friend on the weekends. I want my mother barge into my room at nine o’clock in the morning on the weekends, all but forcing us to eat whatever healthy yet delicious breakfast she concocted.

Those were the days, and I regret taking them for granted. Everything was so easy back then, so simple. Wake up late for school, get to the class late without a tardy note, somehow get detention, go home, mess around with Tyler, and repeat.

Now, complicated couldn’t even begin to describe what my life had turned into.

Once in the kitchen, I sat at the island and lazily slumped over it, never feeling as tired as I was then in my life. “We don’t have time for breakfast,” Matt announced from the living room. I jumped back up into a sitting position, realizing that I’d almost fell asleep. “We’ll probably just get something on the way.”

I was hungry, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. Plus, I was sure I could wait until I got some ‘on the way’.

A yawn escaped my lips as I joined him in the living room, picking up one of my duffel bags, knowing there was no way I could carry them two at a time. Instead, I held my guitar case tightly in the other. Apparently, Matt had brought them out while I was in the shower.

“You sure you can handle all that?” Matt asked, not attempting to conceal his laughter as he watched my stumpy figure get weighed down by all of the weight. That duffel bag was heavier than I thought.

Silently nodding, I headed out to the front door, noting that it was still dark out. I hadn’t even checked the time when I’d gotten up this morning, but figured it was inching closer to six AM since Matt said we would be late if we had breakfast.

All of Matt’s luggage was already in the back of the SUV, and I haphazardly tossed my duffel bag in before laying my guitar case next to it, not wanting to damage it. I turned around, ready to go back up the steps to begin retrieve my other two bags. I jumped about a mile when I saw Matt behind me, each of my duffel bags slung over each shoulder.

I don’t know if I was supposed to say thanks – but I didn’t, so it doesn’t matter.

As soon as I got in the passenger seat, I plucked my iPod Classic out of my backpack and stuffed my ear buds into my ears, effectively ending any hopes of conversation on the hour drive to the airport. Instead, I gazed out the window, memorizing everything I could as the scenery blurred by, much too fast for my taste. Picking out friend’s houses, interesting landmarks, places where I used to hang out, everything about the only home I’d ever known. That was at least, until we got on the highway.

Nothing was even remotely interesting about it, and I found myself being lulled to sleep by Scary Kids Scaring Kids ‘Watch Me Bleed’, my head resting against the cool window.

Once we neared the airport though, I sat upright in my seat, anxiety filling the hopeless void in the bottom of my stomach. Thirty five thousand feet up in the air. That was a long ways to fall. Not to mention the claustrophobic, closed in feel of an airplane. I was already visibly shaking, but if Matt asked, I would just say it was because I was hungry.

If I could conceal my shock of finding out a rock star was my father, I sure as hell could hide the fact that I was terrified of planes.

Getting to the airport, putting all of our stuff on luggage carts, checking in, and going through security was a blur for me. Trepidation filled my every step, causing me to lag behind Matt. Ordering a coffee and a frosted cinnamon roll at Tim Hortons helped me calm down some, but only temporarily. At least I wasn’t hungry anymore.

When it came to actually boarding the plane, that was the worst. I almost completely lost my shit, and I was more than thankful I was still trailing behind Matt, who was completely oblivious to my almost-panic attack.

Thirty five thousand feet. That seemed to be all I could think about. Over and over again, that simple phrase repeated itself until my lungs squeezed and my heart began beating in my ears. A chill ran through my entire body and my stomach lurched.

By then, were actually on the plane, sat down and buckled in. I felt so constricted. The one thing I wanted to do was run like a bat out of hell, and get as far away from that damned plane as possible.

Matt was sat next to me, as casual and relaxed as can be. Of course he was. He was probably on planes all the time! I pulled my knees up to my chest so I was hugging my backpack and turned my head so Matt couldn’t see it, closing my eyes. Just relax. Calm down or else Matt’s gonna notice it and make a big deal out of it.

What could calm me down? I needed something to take my mind off of everything, because having a breakdown in the middle of the plane just before takeoff did not appeal to me.
My iPod. Music always managed to sooth me even in the worst of situations, and I was hoping that it would now. My shaky hands reached into the side pocket of my backpack, fishing out my iPod not as fast as I would have liked. I caught Matt staring at me out of the corner of my eye, and I immediately composed myself and sat back in my seat, already feeling better just holding my iPod.

The moment Lacey Mosley’s voice filled my ears; I began to feel better. I began picking apart the guitar part and the meaning of each song, completely absorbed in it. I barely even flinched when the jet engine’s roared to life, although I did turn the volume up a little higher. If I was oblivious to what was going on around me, I would be okay.

A half an hour later when I took an ear bud out and looked around, I realized I hadn’t even noticed we were up in the air. Even though there was no way in hell I was looking out the window, it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it was going to be. Which, maybe I exaggerated about in my previous panic-stricken state. I almost thought the plane was going to like a car traveling on an unpaved road, full of turbulence.

But it wasn’t, and soon, I found myself drifting off to sleep, getting the much needed rest I hadn’t the night before.

“Payton?” Someone gently shook my shoulder, their fingers gently prodding. They wanted me for something obviously, but I sighed and turned away. I hadn’t gotten that much sleep in weeks, and even though I was fully refreshed, I wanted to stay asleep, just for a little while long to allow myself some time to properly wake up. “Payton, the plane’s....”

With my ear buds still in my ears, Matt’s words were distorted and I heard something completely different. I ripped my headphones out and stared at him in sheer horror. “What? The plane’s crashing?!”

Several passengers popped up in their seats like a jack in the box, but were restricted by their seatbelts. They only added to my alarm. Matt, on the other hand, was staring at me, completely amused. “No,” He started slowly, smirking for ear to ear. “I said the plane is landing.” He said it loudly, so the passengers who had freaked out about my misinterpretation could hear.

Letting out a sigh of relief, I relaxed in my seat and tried to clear my head. At least I’d woken up. And Matt’s news was the best news I’d heard in quite a long time. I just wanted to get off the plane and onto solid ground.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long and before I knew it I found myself hauling my backpack on again, and it seemed like just moments after that we were strolling through the terminal. Matt was looking for someone, that much was obvious, but I was too stubborn to ask who.

“Matt!” An excited, feminine voice called from behind us. She sounded ecstatic. If only I felt the same way about meeting him.

Matt quickly turned on his heel, and much to my dismay, slung an arm over my shoulder as we approached the woman who had called out his name. She was attractive to say the least. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a pony tail, and she wore a white tank top and skinny jeans.

I didn’t look at her too much more, not able to with Matt’s arm across my shoulder. As casually as possible, I shrugged his arm off and stepped away slightly, not able to handle being in such close proximity to him.

Matt looked a little hurt, but quickly glanced at the woman who was now standing in front of us. Stepping forward he gave her a warm hug and a quick kiss on his lips, I instantly knew who it was. Once he stepped back, he smiled from his wife to me. “Payton, this is my wife, Valary.”

“Call me Val, hun,” She grinned and stood about an arm’s length away from me, looking unsure. But I barely had time to register she had stepped forward when I found myself crushed into a hug.

It felt like one of my mom’s hugs. It was so warm and tight, yet gentle. I missed those so very much. Now that I thought more about it, motherly vibes seemed to waft from her, and it only added to my bewilderment when I began leaning into the hug. Once I realized what I was doing, I went rigid and kept completely still.

Usually, I wouldn’t let people I just met touch me. And here I was, willing to hug a complete stranger?

I would give her credit, though. She was just so kind, and... trustworthy. Right off the bat. No one had ever had that kind of first impression on me yet, and I instantaneously knew that we would probably end up being good friends.

More than likely the only friend I would make here, too. I wasn’t the best at making friends, hence why I usually only hung out with Tyler.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Payton!” She said as she pulled away, and I instantly took note of her use of the word ‘finally’.

That pretty much confirmed my suspicions of Matt knowing about me, and I once again felt anger build up. I just know that once he found out mom was pregnant, he up and left. It was so obvious it was almost as if someone had admitted it out loud.

Nonetheless, I smiled back at her, not wanting her to think I didn’t like her. “Alright, let’s get your bags!” She clapped her hands together before looking at Matt, who nodded and laced his hand with hers.

Not wanting to have the same incident to happen as earlier, I trailed behind them with my hands shoved into my pockets, my eyes downcast.

Okay, so I met his wife. One big part of the day over with. And she was actually nice. How did she end up with my father?

Fifteen minutes later, we had all of our luggage into Matt’s massive (much bigger than the rental) SUV. But if I had to guess, I would say it was something like a Tahoe or a Suburban.

“Payton,” Val said from the front seat, glancing back at me. “Are you up to meeting some of Matt’s friends? They’re dying to meet you,” A humorous glint appeared in her eyes, but I didn’t let myself think too much about it.

Friends, as in, the rest of the band.

I merely shrugged, pretending to be neutral about the idea. Truthfully, I wanted to get into whatever room I owned, and curl up into a ball on my bed. I doubted I would get any sleep, since I just slept through an entire ten hour flight, but I desperately just wanted to be alone.

“Great,” She said, grinning. “I’ll call Jimmy first then. He hasn’t stopped bugging me the whole day.”

Again, I simply nodded as I felt my nervousness grow. How many people were they talking about? I hoped they were only talking about just maybe one or two people, but in the back of my mind, I knew that it would be the entire band, and their girlfriends/wives.

I gulped, I didn’t like meeting so many people at once, and I was beginning to think I should have said no.