Days of the Old

Being myself around people I don’t know has never been one of my strengths. I just don’t like sharing things with people I don’t trust. And so far, as nice as everyone was, I couldn’t let myself trust anyone.

I guess I put people through a sort of test before I let myself be comfortable around them. A very long one, at that. I watch how they react to the things I say, which usually isn’t much, how offended they are if they think I did something wrong. How easy-going they are. You know, things that I think make me able to trust them. I try to get a feel for who they really are as a person. However, I was never really good at reading peoples expressions, which is probably why it takes me so long to trust anyone.

For the past three days of living with Matt, I holed myself up in my room and talked to Tyler on MSN or played Xbox with him. I didn’t want to face the reality of things. I couldn’t just walk his house anymore, and the thought of it scared me.

What if I had a nightmare? Usually, a panic-attack follows it. Who would be there to comfort me? I refused to think about having to go through the whole ordeal all alone.

That was another reason why I was spending so much time talking with Tyler. He helps me get my mind off of everything, and I’m able to be myself while I’m with him, even if it’s just over the phone or on MSN. It was because I knew he was there for me, no matter how far away he was.

However, I’d stuck to my promise and went downstairs whenever Val or one of the guys or girls came up and asked me to. I talked to them whenever they asked me something, and was generally as friendly as someone in my situation could be. I tried my best to do the same around Matt, but things were just... awkward. On my part, at least.

Questions I knew I would never ask arose whenever I was around him. Like where he was for the past fourteen years. Why did my mother to the other side of the continent? And the one that seemed to be the most important to me, did he always know about me?

I wish I could just blurt them out to get it over with. It would be so much easier if it was all out in the open, but it wasn’t.

The same heavy, seemingly urgent knock I’d heard for the first time three days sounded at the door, and I swivelled around in my computer chair to stare at my door. “C’mon in, Jimmy!” I called, not bothering to close my laptop with my conversation on MSN with Tyler on it.

That was all the invitation he needed before bursting into my room, I didn’t even jump anymore. Grinning, he silently walked over to my bed and plopped himself down on it, clasping his hands together on his lap.

I have to admit, I was a little creeped out with the stare he was giving me, and the fact that he hadn’t uttered a single word yet. But then again, that was probably why I liked him so much. You never knew what he was going to do next, and everything was an adventure with him. He reminded me a little of Tyler, which is probably why I had taken to him so much over the past few days.

“So; Kim, Gary, Amy, Herb and Mary Lou are gonna be here in an hour or so.” He finally said after a few more moments. I nodded, wondering why he felt the need to tell me again. They were Matt’s parents, his grandparents, and sister. Or, I guess, my grandparents, great grandparents and aunt. They were coming over to meet me, and everyone just had to go and make a big deal out of it by throwing a huge barbeque.

Thankfully though, it wasn’t going to be a huge crowd, just Avenged and their girls, and of course the rest of my family. I didn’t think I could say that out loud and actually mean it, seeing as I knew nothing about them other than their names and a few random facts.
As nervous as I was about meeting them, I was pretty confident that I could handle it. After all, I’d done okay with meeting Avenged.

“And?” I pressed quietly, looking at him sceptically as I crossed my arms and remained still in my chair.

“So it leaves me time to do this.” He hadn’t even finished talk and he had me picked up and slung over his shoulder, going straight for my door.

“J—Jimmy!” I yelled, having a faint idea of what he was going to do, and I didn’t like it at all. “Put me down, goddamnit!”

Just from the tone of his voice, I could tell he was still grinning. “So she swears!” He yelled and laughed maniacally as he all but ran down the stairs. I began wondering how the heck he could even so much as jog with me on his shoulder. “See Matt, I told you she does!”

They’d only heard me swear just now? Well, I guess I hadn’t been given the chance to cuss, until now. And what the hell did they talk about when I wasn’t around? Did they sit in the living room and contemplate the things I do and don’t do while sipping a beer or something?

“No, no Jimmy! I swear to god, if you--” Jimmy paused once we got to the kitchen, making me stop talking too. Did he change his mind? Oh god, please, please, let it be true!

“Jimmy,” I heard Matt laugh through a sigh behind the island. “What are you doing with my kid?”

His kid. He said that so easily, like he really considered me his own or something crazy like that. But at that point, I was willing to ignore it and try and get him to save me from my impending doom. I began struggling on Jimmy’s shoulder, but not enough to actually accidentally hurt him. “Matt!” I said desperately, “Don’t let him! He’s gonna throw me in the fuckin’ pool!”

“See, see!” Jimmy yelled, waving his free arm around exaggeratedly. “She does swear. You owe me ten bucks.”

So they were placing bets on me in their spare time, too? I was beginning to think they were even crazier than I had originally thought.

I didn’t hear a reply to Matt, and I began to panic even more as Jimmy walked passed them. Twisting around on Jimmy’s back, I stole a glance at Matt. He was sitting next to Val at the island, and they were both smirking at our retreating figures. I glared at them and resisted the urge to give them the finger.

“Jimmy, man, come on! You... you don’t wanna do this.” I said desperately when I heard the sliding glass door open. The California heat instantly hit me. Even though it was January, it was obviously still warm outside. It had been a huge shock, coming from the frozen east coast to Huntington Beach, but I couldn’t say I really minded, that part of the deal anyway.

“And why not, huh Mini-Me?” He chuckled and jostled me around on his shoulder, by then we were right next to the pool.

“Because... because...” I groaned, not being able to come up with anything good. I saw multiple pairs of feet and heard laughing, and instantly knew the rest of the Avenged crew were sitting around the pool. “Brian!” I said desperately. “Don’t--”

That was all I could get out because I was thrown into the deep end of the pool, my Atticus t-shirt and jean shorts instantly soaked and my hair ruined. I let myself sink for a few moments with my eyes closed before darting back up for air. I glared at Jimmy, who was now standing several feet away from the pool and out of my reach. “You suck.”

All he did was laugh, as did the rest of the crew, so I chose to ignore them and began floated down the pool on my back, staring up at the clear blue sky. I did have a plan of revenge, as crappy as it was, it was still a plan. I just had to wait for the right moment.

Jimmy was too far away for me to take in with me. So, I floated for about five minutes, waiting until I thought I was close enough and I didn’t think I would get anything wet. I made a huge splash at him, sufficiently drenching him in water. I smirked triumphantly.

Everyone around us burst out laughing yet again, and Jimmy looked completely shocked. He glanced from the laughing crowd back to me, and then that smirk was back on his face. He was planning something.

I made a move to get down the pool quicker, but my petty excuse for swimming, that some liked to call doggy paddling, only got my about two feet before Jimmy dove into the pool. He was way too quick, and he was all but half a foot away from me, grinning down at me evilly as I tried to stay afloat.

“You’re a goner, Mini-Me.” He said while shaking his wet hair all over me, and I couldn’t do anything as he picked me up and threw me across the pool yet again. I didn’t even get up for air before he had me grabbed around the waist, pulling me with him as he dove down to the bottom.

Finally, I came up with him coughing, but laughing nonetheless. It still felt weirder than ever to laugh without my mom, but I didn’t want to seem like a bitch and make Jimmy think I was mad at him. After all, I was closer to him than anyone here, including Matt.

As hard as I could, I playfully pushed him away, but he only ended up moving about six inches. “Alright, Jimmy,” Brian said as he warily watched us from the edge of the pool, not wanting to get too close. “You’ve had your fun, now let her out so she can dry off. Everyone’s gonna be here in a little while.”

“Where’s Matt?” I asked Brian as I hauled myself out of the pool, wondering why I didn’t see him around, I would have thought that Matt would be the one telling Jimmy to lay off me.

My question seemed to interest him, and he paused to stare at me before waving me off. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why he thought my question was odd, but I didn’t dwell on it for too long. “He just went to pick up some more beer.” He shrugged as he handed me a towel, and once I’d wiped my face I turn to glare at Jimmy.

“Thanks, that was exactly what I needed, Jimmy.” I muttered, looking down at my soaked clothing.

“See, kid. I told you,” He tapped the side of his head knowingly. “I know everything.”

Jokingly rolling my eyes, I turned around and began patting down my clothing, not wanting to get anything wet on my trek back upstairs to dry off and get new clothing. I was up the stairs and swerving through the various hallways of Matt’s house (to say it was luxurious, would be an understatement), but I stopped once I saw him coming down the hallway that led to my room.

Once he saw me, he stopped and smiled, but I just quirked an eyebrow. “I thought Brian said you were gone to get more beer.” I still found it awkward to talk to him, and my voice came out much quieter than usual.

The air thickened with tension around us, and I began wondering why Brian had said that. Matt looked completely innocent, though, so I refused to let my suspicions rise too high. “Uh, no, I decided we’d have enough. No one will be drinking too much, I don’t think.” He said easily, always keeping eye contact with me.

Honestly, I didn’t want to think too much about it. At that point I just didn’t care what he did, or if he was ever really going to get beer. I just wanted to get back to my room and change out of the sopping wet clothing. If I questioned him anymore, I would end up thinking too much about it, so I nodded as I brushed past him, continuing on my way to my room. This was his house, after all. He could go wherever he wanted.

After I’d gotten into my room, I headed straight to the bathroom for a quick shower, not being able to stand the smell of chlorine on my skin. I wasted no time and dried my hair as soon as I got out, then ventured back into my closet to find something to wear. I settled on so Tripp capris and a blue Choidos t-shirt, throwing on some beat up old skate shoes. It was just a barbeque, so I didn’t have to dress up. Not that I would if they wanted me to, anyway.

When I was back in the bathroom, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I may have looked the same, but I didn’t recognize myself anymore. If I was myself, I would have kicked Jimmy’s ass for throwing me in the pool. I was just so meek. My usual snide or sarcastic remarks had disappeared, only showing themselves when I was talking with Tyler. The mischievous glint in my green eyes had disappeared, leaving them dull and lifeless.

Soon, I found myself looking away. I couldn’t face my own reflection. I couldn’t face anything anymore. The reality of things. What would happen when I had to start going back to school? Matt hadn’t so much as mentioned it yet, so I wasn’t too worried yet, but I knew it was going to be hell.

No matter how shy I was, I wasn’t going to let anyone walk all over me in school. Back home, I got into a fight at least once a month. The school I would be going to (having nothing better to do, I checked) was four times the size of my old school. Which meant there were four times the amount of assholes. I honestly couldn’t imagine all the trouble I would be getting into, and for once, I wasn’t looking forward to it.

Not because it would more than likely tick Matt off, I could easily handle that. But could I go through all of that crap without Tyler? He was my wingman. I never did anything without him, and was a little more than nervous at just the thought of not having him by my side.

I realized that I didn’t have much time left, so I hurriedly straightened my hair and put it up into a ponytail before exiting the bathroom. Seeing that my laptop was still on, I lazily padded over to it and slumped down into the chair, staring at the convo Tyler and I were having before Jimmy kidnapped me.

Except it wasn’t there anymore, it had been exited. Sighing, I leaned back into my chair and stared up at the ceiling. I just didn’t have the energy to try and figure out why. It was probably nothing, anyway. I just wanted to get the barbeque over with.

Not wanting a repeat situation with Jimmy throwing me over his shoulder, I decided to go downstairs then and see what everyone was up to. Everyone was still out sitting around the pool, and they looked surprised that I had come down on my own.

For the time being, I ignored their stares and plopped down on a chair with a sigh. “You look like you could use a beer.” Brian grinned from across from me, and I turned to stare at him sceptically.

Was he really offering me a beer? It didn’t matter anyway, because I never really felt the need to drink. “I don’t drink.” I stated simply, and leaned my head back to stare up at the sky once again.
“Not a chance--” Matt stopped short once he heard what I said, and I could tell everyone had fixed their stares back on me. I took a peek around everyone, and they were all sharing the same disbelieving look.

“I don’t believe you.” Johnny stated out loud, and Lacey smacked his chest from her place on his lap.

“I don’t care.” It wasn’t like I had anything to prove to them, that came out a little bitchier than I had intended it to, but I just didn’t want to elaborate on it and further than that out loud.

I mean, sure. I went to parties every weekend with Tyler, and I may have held a drink in my hand, but that was just so everyone would stop pestering me to take one. I suppose you could call me straightedge, but I wasn’t completely against alcohol or anything.

“That’s it, Shadz. She’s not your kid.” Everyone laughed at Zacky’s remark, except me. Oh, if only.