In the Mind of Madness

“What is wrong with you?”

The Joker looked up at Kenna like she was stupid. “I got shot.”

“Not that.” Kenna shook her head, grabbing a rag dipped in alcohol to wipe off the wound on The Joker’s shoulder. “I mean you never sit still. You’re a horrible patient.”

The Joker laughed at her, not even flinching when she went back to digging around in his shoulder for the bullet. “But you already knew that, kitten.”

Kenna pursed her lips and concentrated on her task, ignoring The Joker’s eyes on her face. She couldn’t help thinking about when she had removed the shards of glass from Bruce’s back. Every time she dug inside his torn flesh he’d tried to hide how bad it hurt, but she could remember his hands gripping the sheets with white knuckles. And she’d felt so awful for hurting him, especially after everything he’d done for her.

She couldn’t say she felt bad about hurting The Joker, but he was being very stoic about getting shot. Kenna guessed it had happened quite a few times in the past.

Remembering Bruce was making Kenna’s heart sting, so she looked down at The Joker to distract herself.

He was stretched on a mangy sofa that was exploding its old yellow stuffing from multiple holes, his back against one of the arms to prop him up for Kenna to work on. His customary jacket-shirt-vest-tie combo was missing, leaving him naked from the waist up, blood occasionally dribbling down his chest from the bullet hole at the top of his shoulder.

Kenna couldn’t help noticing how thin he was, which was rather surprising considering how strong he was. And there were so many scars littering his chest, stomach, and arms. Nothing like the ones on his face, but such a large number. Criss-crossing faded pink lines almost everywhere, punctuated by a few small round scars that were probably akin to the one he’d now have on his shoulder.

Kenna only realized she’d been staring at him for a very long time when he spoke and it made her jump and blush. She acted like she’d been busy cleaning off the tweezers she was using to search for the bullet still lodged in The Joker’s flesh.

“If I’m such a bad patient you could have just let me do it…or Darling Darla.”

Sighing impatiently, Kenna put a hand on The Joker’s shoulder to lean in and get back to work. “You’d do it wrong.”

“What do you care?” he scoffed at her, but there was just a hint of genuine confusion in his tone.

“Like I want to listen to you whining if it gets infected.” Kenna rolled her eyes, glad she didn’t display her own confusion. She felt sure she was much more baffled by her behavior than The Joker.

Her patient shifted again, laughing loudly at her. “Look who’s talking: Queen of the Whiners.”

In lieu of a response Kenna shoved the tweezers in violently, finally provoking a quiet grunt of pain from The Joker. But it didn’t provide too much satisfaction for her, because he was also smiling at her. She just huffed softly and kept working.

There was a lengthy silence between them, Kenna doing a good job of distracting herself from things she didn’t want to dwell on and The Joker watching her every move with calculating brown eyes.

Finally Kenna felt something hard, and was fairly sure it wasn’t bone. She set her jaw in concentration, closing the tips of the tweezers on the bullet and pulling it out in a fairly smooth movement.

“That little sucker was really in there.” Kenna mumbled as she let it drop onto the small end table she was using to hold what she needed.

Kenna then picked up the bottle of alcohol she’d been using to keep things clean and dumped it into the hole in The Joker’s shoulder. She knew it had to sting, a small grin appearing on her face even when The Joker giggled instead of howling in agony like a normal person.

“Were you this rough with all of your patients?” asked The Joker, watching Kenna thread a needle and licking his lips.

With the needle ready Kenna wiped away the blood and alcohol, giving the wound another dousing with the liquid before beginning to stitch it closed. She shoved the needle through The Joker’s skin mercilessly, then remembered to answer.

“Only my favorites.” she cocked her head to the side, batting her eyelashes mockingly.

The Joker snorted at her, watching the needle passing through his skin with minimal interest. “Dr. Archer…what a joke.”

Kenna ‘accidentally’ let the needle slip and jab into The Joker’s skin deeper than was necessary. “Everything’s a joke to you.”

“Not everything.” The Joker retorted cryptically. Kenna just looked at him and shook her head before continuing her task.

It went quickly with Kenna being so ruthless with the needle, and only moments later she was rinsing the closed injury with more alcohol and then swabbing it with bacitracin. When her hands moved into put a bandage over it The Joker’s own hand struck out like a cobra, catching her wrist in a vice-like grip.

Kenna couldn’t even count the number of times he had trapped her that way, and it made her face heat up in anger. She jerked her arm back, but his fingers never budged, just like his eyes never stopped drilling holes into hers.

“Let go.” she growled at him, not trying to twist herself free because it would just leave bruises.

The Joker licked his lips again, tongue smearing the dry red paint there. “Why’d you shoot him, Kenna?”

He’d spoken in his lowest, most threatening voice, but Kenna hid the shiver that went through her back and just kept scowling at him. “Let go!”

“I asked you a question, doc.”

Kenna looked around for an escape. Her eyes landed on the open bottle of alcohol, her free hand snatching it up and flinging it at The Joker’s face. His grip loosened just enough from the pain in his eyes for Kenna to yank her body backwards. But she knew that there would be no laughter this time, and she spun to her right to bolt from the room.

There was only silence behind her. She had really pissed him off.

The warehouse was huge, and Kenna didn’t know where she was going. Fear lit up in her chest, and she kept running through every door she came to. Kenna thought about the fact that this was the first time she’d shown him she was afraid, and it occurred to her that it was probably the reason he was so angry. But something was different. Kenna didn’t want to face him, and it wasn’t even because she knew he was going to hurt her.

She didn’t know what she was afraid of, but she knew it wasn’t just The Joker she was running from.

Forcing herself to stop even as her hands closed on another door knob, Kenna let out a quivering breath and turned around. She could hear his footsteps, walking at his normal pace, and shut her eyes for a moment to steady her heart and breathing.

The footsteps were louder, echoing, and as Kenna opened her eyes she saw The Joker turn the corner to the hallway she was in. She grit her teeth and looked into his eyes, seeing the same hate there that she’d seen before. It wasn’t that that scared her, but the hint of something manic and horrified that she felt in herself as well as saw in the eyes sunken so deep in black paint.

Kenna didn’t back up like she wanted to, planting her black tennis shoes on the dirty cement floor and waiting. He would be on her in three steps, and his eyes were blazing.

A startled gasp escaped her lungs as The Joker gathered a handful of her shirt in his fist, flinging her around so her back was against the cold wall. His other hand latched onto the back of her hair, craning her neck backwards so she could barely move. Kenna watched him spitefully as he placed his lips almost against her ear.

“I asked you…why did you shoot him…Kenna?”

She swallowed, almost choking due to the angle of her neck. “I-instinct.”

His ragged lips sneered against the shell of her ear. “Liar.”

Kenna gasped again when The Joker’s hand released her shirt and moved to her throat. She wanted to try and fight him off, but she was inexplicably paralyzed. But he didn’t strangle her like she expected. His fingers wrapped around her neck, his thumb resting softly on the underside of her chin.

“Kenna, you’re lying.” he said in a sing-song voice, almost a whisper.

Kenna gulped again, able to feel the heat of his breath fluttering across her ear and the side of her neck. For a moment she floundered, her lips parting and closing several times before she spoke.

“No…I’m not. I saw him and…he could have…done anything.”

That was what Kenna was telling herself. The man could have pointed his gun at anyone. Herself, or Darla. He just happened to point it at The Joker and Kenna acted on reflex.

But now she felt oddly dizzy and confused and she didn’t know what she thought. About anything.

Then The Joker’s hand did begin to squeeze, making Kenna’s breathing start to rasp. Abruptly her senses came back to life, and Kenna remembered that she hated him. Loathed him.

As soon as her fingers closed around his arm The Joker loosened the hold on her airway, moving his face so their noses were almost touching. Kenna glared defiantly into his eyes, unable to read the emotions in them. That was so infuriating.

“Why?” he growled at her, and she could feel his lips moving almost against hers. The dizziness started to return, but she shoved it away and held onto her anger.

The moment Kenna started to writhe in an attempt to get free The Joker flattened his body to hers, pinning her to the wall. She groaned in annoyance and put her hands on his shoulders, attempting fruitlessly to get him away. She made sure to press extra hard on his wound, but he seemed to not even notice.

“Tell me!”

Kenna froze, a thrill shooting down all her limbs at how loudly he’d yelled at her. Still looking him in the eye, knowing he wouldn’t leave her alone until she gave him an answer, Kenna snarled in defeat.

“I don’t know!” she hissed, too aware of his nails cutting into the back of her neck. “I have no clue and I don’t want to!”

The Joker scrutinized her face for a long moment, but didn’t release her. Kenna squirmed under his gaze, trembling involuntarily when she felt the bare skin of his torso against her clothes.

“Are you satisfied?” she demanded when she couldn’t take the silence anymore.

His eyes drifted down her face to her lips. Kenna’s head clouded for a moment, and then she panicked and kneed him in the groin. A brief grunt and his body pulling back a bit from hers were her reward, and then The Joker stopped touching her altogether, giggling under his breath.

“No.” he shook his head a little, bring his yellow teeth in a taunting grin.

Then his hands were back on Kenna, her eyes widening in shock as The Joker pushed her harshly to the ground. She landed on her side, the air rushing from her lungs at the pain in her hip and elbow.

Her view of The Joker as he walked away was turned sideways, but she could see that for once he wasn’t laughing.