Broken

Frank's point of view

I pleaded with my eyes. I begged him not to do it. I tried to force my thoughts through those hazel gateways and into his mind.

With no luck.

"So Bob, you hungry?" asked Gerard.

"Uh.. yeah, I could go for some lunch," he replied in his delicious voice.

"Frank and I were gonna hit up the deli on the next block, you want to come with?"

NO! GERARD NO! YOU CAN TELL THAT HE MAKES ME AWKWARD! STOP IT! JUST STOP MAKING IT WORSE!

"Yeah sure that sounds great," said Bob politely.

Damn.

Now I have to eat lunch with him.

I had been awkward enough sitting here talking to Brian with him for the past hour, let alone sitting in a booth at the deli and trying to eat in front of him. I didn't dare speak in case my voice cracked again. You'd think I was a fourteen year old girl, so shy, so scared.

"Alright guys well I'll leave you to it, look forward to seeing you at the shoot," said Brian, standing up to shake our hands and see us out.

Bob, Gerard and I followed the corridor back to the staircase, Bob and Gerard deep in conversation about Black Flag.

Part of me was telling me to dive in, to say 'I listen to Black Flag too!' but the other part of me was telling me to keep quiet.

"So Frank, what bands do you like?" asked Bob, looking at me with his piercing blue eyes.

"Uhh..." I quickly rattled off a names of bands I listened to.

"That's cool. Ever listen to any Bouncing Souls?" he asked casually.

My heart did a back flip.

He even likes my favourite band!

"Yeah they're alright," I heard myself say.

"They're actually playing, next weekend, and I have a couple of spare tickets, if you guys wanted to join me?"

My heart did a triple backwards somersault and fifty jumping jacks.

"Uh.. wow. How did you get those? They've been sold out for like, ever!" I squealed uncontrollably, in possibly my gayest voice ever.

"I know right? I have a friend who knows some people who pulled some strings, and now I have tickets."

"Well I'll go for sure," chipped in Gerard. I felt a twinge of jealousy that Bob had invited him too.

"I'll see what I'm doing then let you know, but should be cool," I said, knowing full well I had nothing planned. Unless of course plans included lounging around my grotty apartment in a pair of old boxers, watching bad movies and eating an entire tub of Ben and Jerry's in one go, all to myself...

We hurried down the street, eager to escape the biting winter air.

"Man its gone so cold, all of a sudden, like it was fine yesterday," said Gerard.

"I know man, time to get out the old coat soon," agreed Bob.

We reached the sanctuary of the deli not a second too soon. The cold wind was ruffling up my hair and nipping at my fingers where they poked out of the frayed ends of my gloves.

We all ordered and waited for our sandwiches, making smalltalk as we stood at the counter.

Once we had the precious sandwiches we piled into a booth, Gerard sitting opposite Bob, forcing me to sit beside him or Bob.

I sat beside Gerard who peeled open his sub to inspect it before taking a bite.

"Damn it! I thought I said no peppers," said Gerard, nudging me out of the way so that he could get up and return his sandwich.

I slid back into the booth, and tucked into a bite of my sandwich, not looking at Bob. I could feel his eyes on me.

"So how long have you played guitar?" he asked. I hastily swallowed my mouthful of food.

"Since I was about 7 or 8, so quite a while."

The sweat from my palms was drenching my fingerless gloves and making them itchy and uncomfortable.

I squirmed under his intent stare. I heaved my eyes off the table to meet his, immediately becoming lost in a heavenly blue abyss.

Gerard returned to the booth with his newly modified sandwich and we made reasonable conversation between us as we ate.

I felt myself becoming more and more uncomfortable.

What was it about Bob that made me feel this way? And why did he remind me of the person who left me so broken?