Broken

Chapter Seven

Bob's Point Of View

Breakfast was an awkward affair of small-talk and long silences. Frank and I had been alone for only a few minutes before Gerard arrived and pulled up a chair, leaving conversation strained.

The foundations of a situation I had never wanted to be in were forming. I was almost certain I liked Frank, in a way more than a friend or band-mate should. That alone made me uncomfortable. I'd never been attracted to a man in that way before. There was just something about Frank, I could sense a deep pain, it made him seem cold and distant. It made me want to know why he was that way, and what was beneath that.

Simple enough. I like Frank, I ask him out. Bam. Yes or no answer, situation resolved.

Now... not so simple. It was obvious Gerard liked me, and I didn't want to create any kind of conflict within the band.

"Hey guys," said Ray, pulling up a chair at our table and pulling me from my train of thought.

"Hows it going?" asked Frank.

"Pretty good, I'm really tired though, slept really badly. Someone was having really loud sex and it kept me up all night," he said, rubbing sleep from his eyes and scratching his 'fro.

I could feel Gerard trying to catch my eye.

"Yeah me too, and I think they woke Bob up too," said Frank, looking at me.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right. Yeah really inconsiderate, they woke me up," I said quickly, caught off guard.

"Ah well, whoever it was had a good night anyway," said Ray with a small smile.

"Gee, you want to go and get Mikey? Then we can head to practice," said Frank.

Gerard huffed loudly and stood up, trudging towards the elevator.

"Why doesn't he want to wake Mikey?" I asked.

"Mikey's not good in the mornings," laughed Frank. I caught his eye for just a second and felt a jolt in my stomach.

"But, we have a show in two days time, and we need to practice and that means all of us," Frank continued.

"We have a show in two days?" I asked, feeling my nerves set in.

"Yeah, the record release show. Basically we play through the new album, show it off, and show the world our sexy new drummer," explained Frank.

"Right..." I said, curious about his 'sexy drummer' comment, but saying nothing.

Around ten minutes later, Gerard and Mikey appeared and we left for the practice studio.

***

Practice was slow. I found my eyes fixed on Franks ass and my mind wandering. This resulted in me messing up a lot and many songs had to be played again.

I wasn't the only one messing up. Gerard got his words wrong on several occassions and Frank kept going out of time.

We ended the practice before we had played the whole set, due to annoyance. We all became increaming frustrated as we didn't improve so it was probably for the best.

Ray, Mikey and Gerard decided they wanted to go to a movie. Frank mumbled something about being too hung over to want to and headed off in a seperate direction from the others as we left the studio.

Gerard looked at me expectantly. I looked at him, Mikey and Ray, Gerard with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips, eyes full of hope.

I looked at Frank, his lonely figure retreating into the distance.

"I'm not feeling it guys, I'll go keep Frank company," I said, and without looking back at Gerard I broke into a light jog to catch up with Frank.

"You didn't go to the movie," he stated as I caught him up.

"Uh.. no... I didn't feel like it," I said.

He looked at me closely, his hazel eyes burning into mine.

"You slept with Gerard last night and its awkward as hell between you now?" he asked, a small smirk creeping onto his face.

"No! What gave you that idea?"

"OH BOB! HARDER!" He imitated, his smirk growing.

I blushed bright red.

"Take that as a yes you did?" he said, his smirk remaining but his eyes telling a different story.

"Yeah.. maybe. I didn't mean for it to happen, I was pretty messed up," I explained feebly.

"He's a bit of a whore, he fucks everybody, don't take it personally," said Frank, a sudden coldness entering his voice.

I said nothing, just waited for the blood to drain from my cheeks as we walked. We took a turn off the sidewalk to cut through the park and get back to the hotel. We would be flying back to New Jersey tomorrow.

A few minutes of awkward silence passed until I found the courage to speak up.

"Do you like him?" he asked, beating me to it.

"Not in that way, no. I really don't know what happened I just... I..."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. I was just going to advise, if you liked him, don't act on it, he'll break your heart," he said, somewhat sadly.

"And how would you know?" I said quickly, before I thought about what I was saying.

"Because he broke mine." Frank stopped walking and looked me dead in the eye.

"He's insane Bob, he'll crush your heart and before you've even realized it, he'll be fucking someone else," his voice cracked, and tears welled in his eyes.

"What? I mean, how do you know?" I asked, knowing full well what the answer was.

"Because he broke mine."

He turned and started to walk quickly away from me.

I stood there, stunned for a minute before I snapped to my senses. I broke into a light jog to catch up.

"Frank, stop," I said, in a voice that didn't sound like mine.

"What?" he asked, turning around, he had a single tear slowly trickling down his cheek.

"I'm sorry," I said, still in that same unfamiliar voice.

"Sorry? For what?" he asked.

"For everything, things have obviously happened to you in your life, and I'm sorry. I wish you could just be happy, you know? You seem like a great guy. And I'm sorry for doing this, because its probably out of line," I trailed off and grabbed him in a big bear hug.

His arms hung limply from his sides, he didn't hug me back. I took a slow, deep breath in, inhaling his addictive scent before letting him go and taking a step back.

"I'll help you find a new drummer," I said sadly, starting to walk towards the hotel.

"Don't go," he said quietly.

I turned around to face him, he looked so sad, his already small form seemed to be folding in on itself as he hunched his shoulders and slouched.

"My first love died in a car accident four years ago. I never got over it. I've been sort of lost ever since," his voice cracked and a single tear ran down his cheek.

"Frank... I..." I began but he cut me off.

"I don't want to hear that you're sorry, because I've heard it so many times before. You remind me of him, Bob, which is why I'm kind of weird around you. When he died I just... broke. I'm not the same person."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I did the only thing I knew might help, and grabbed him into another hug. This time he hugged me back, his tears soaking into my jacket.

"Let's go inside," I said quietly.

He nodded against my shoulder.

We walked silently to the hotel, the only sound was Franks small snuffles as he tried to stop himself crying and our footsteps.

It seemed like only seconds until we were up at his room.

We went inside and he closed the door behind us.

"I don't know what more to say, I never tell anyone about him... I just..."

I stopped him talking by putting one of my fingers across his lips. I used my thumb to wipe away a tear making its way slowly down his face.

"It's OK Frankie, don't cry. It's going to be OK."