Funny the Way It Is When You're Married

I never thought the day where I would be forced to do something unwilling would come.
To be frank, I hoped it didn’t.
A month from today, I celebrated the happiest day of my life; I graduated from a place called high school.
Right now, I must embrace the worst moment I could ever experience; my wedding day.
Yes, my wedding day.
To a stranger, no less.
His name is Noah Damien Alexander.
He’s arrogant.
He’s cocky.
He’s a jerk.
He’s full of himself.
He’s tempered.
And he is now my husband.
The wedding ceremony lasted ten minutes total, but it felt like all of eternity to me.
I wouldn’t have survived this gruesome moment if my twin sister hadn’t been damned the same fate to Noah’s twin brother.
We were basically twin couples.
How disgusting…

Kanylla, my loving twin sister, held my hand in hers the entire way to the airport.
Our small hell wedding was a few hours ago, and to follow tradition, we were expected to go on “honeymoon” with our new husbands.
Our small tears were absorbed by each others clothing. The realization that we were going to be separated for the first time in…a while, was barely just sinking in.
Basically, we were being shipped off to opposite sides of the continent, only to be reunited in two weeks back at our new, permanent home.
Now, Kanylla and I weren’t the crying type of girls. Let that be understood. But even we shed our tears. We didn’t want to be apart.
Mason, Kanylla’s new husband, at least attempted to make her feel better.
Noah only sat there.
He would side glance in our direction from inside the unneeded limo, but then quickly look away in what I believed to be annoyance.
It wasn’t like we were complete strangers.
The four of us knew about each other’s existence since we could remember. We would have annual play-dates when we were younger, until the word play-date became too childish. Then it became actual dates.
Mason had made the effort to cooperate.
Noah just never spoke; to me, at least.
I gathered that we would never like each other and dropped any form of connection.
Mason and Kanylla were at least friends. They e-mailed, phoned, kept in touch.
I’ve spoken to Noah all of once; when he said “I do”. Only then was I sure he wasn’t mute.

“I’ll call you as soon as I get there. Wherever that is, of course,” Kanylla added, half smiling, while trying to get her strawberry blonde hair away from her face. I was going to miss my twin. Even though we hardly looked like twins, it was still comforting having my other half with me everywhere I went.
Neither of us knew where our honeymoon would be, even when it was time to depart.
“Be safe,” we said in unison. We hugged; our husbands standing behind us, waiting for our goodbye to end.
“I love you, Lela,” I said, smiling at her nickname.
“I love you more, Liza.”
When she said my name, I could see the tears almost well up her eyes. But she quickly blinked them away before they could fall on her rosy cheeks, and walked towards the awaiting Mason.

The flight was awkward.
Though, I was still quite astonished that I walked onto the plane without the slightest hint to where I would be going for the next two weeks.
I tried to ignore the fact that I would be alone with Noah for longer than a second, but his constant tapping on his laptop was a reminder that he was sitting beside me and that we would be spending actual time together.
I silently groaned. The *tap-tap* was now permanently ingrained in my memory.
I didn’t know how long the flight was, and I didn’t plan on being conscious to find out. Especially considering that Noah was fully awake.
With no attempt to talk to him, or vice versa, I decided to take a cat nap.
When my eyes did unintentionally open, lights were off on the silent plane. My vision was blocked as I tried to look around in the First Class area. I could hardly see my hands, let alone anything else.
At least the tapping of Noah’s nagging work was gone.
So, I snuggled back to sleep on the pillow I had somehow come across and continued to sleep.

I fully awoke hours later and came to my full senses. I found myself sprawled across the seat where I sat.
I quickly glanced around in panic.
I really hoped Noah wasn’t cruel enough to leave me stranded on the plane while I slept. But maybe that would be good, because then I wouldn’t have to spend any time with him.
No such luck.
I found him, sitting a few feet away, talking on the phone. He couldn’t see me, but I could see him; and by the look on his face, I could tell he wasn’t happy.
Maybe I should have been a little concerned like a good wife would be…but I wasn’t.
I blinked my sore eyes and grabbed my duffle bag from off the floor.
I wobbled out of my seat and into the aisle. Few people glanced to look at me as I straightened my clothes and walked down the narrow aisle and into the lavatory.
I had passed Noah, who was suddenly silent at the sight of me.
I rolled my eyes in his general direction, hoping he could sense my foul mood towards him.
When I had finished practically showering in the sink, including brushing my teeth, I stepped out of the closet sized bathroom, newly refreshed.
Tired of being oblivious, I decided to ruin the pointless surprise and found the nearest flight attendant.
“Do you need something, sweetie?”
I had to bite back my scoff so that I wouldn’t be rude. But seriously, I’m not five so please don’t call me sweetie.
“Could you please tell me where this flight is going?”
She stared at me oddly.
Shit!
I forgot that most people don’t get on random flights on first class, without knowing where they’re going.
“Oh, right, well my-uhm-husband and I are going on our…honeymoon and it’s supposed to be a surprise but I’m just so anxious to know,” I smiled, faking embarrassment.
She giggled. “How sweet!” she enthused. “Well, I hope you packed a bathing suit because you’re going to Fiji!”
She was excited enough for the both of us, that I only mumbled a sarcastic “Wonderful…” before I went to my seat.
“Fiji?!” I seethed to Noah, who now sat next to me.
He glanced at me with confusion before he understood what I meant.
“You’re impatient.”
It wasn’t a question, it was a statement and it annoyed me to know he already knew one thing about me.
I could only dismiss his comment and tried again. “You’re taking me to Fiji?!”
He snarled and glared directly at me. “I didn’t plan this! Our parents did,” he yelled, but only loud enough for me to hear. His harsh tone surprised me enough to tell me not to make him angry.
I huffed and mumbled the imprudent but always hysterical “Fuck me sideways.”
Honestly, I didn’t blame Fiji.
I loved it.
I had gone when I was younger and fell in love with the island. But as much as I appreciated the warm glow of the place I loved, I didn’t want to share it with Noah.
Call me selfish…
I was.