My Name Is Jimmy and You Better Not Wear It Out

After I finally got my ass off the sidewalk, I went straight back to the apartment and passed out.

I didn't leave for a couple days, drowning in the new found grief that was the loss of Gloria. Again.

I'll admit that I cried a bit. I'm a man, I can do that.

It felt all too real after the message. She was really gone. I had really fucked up. It wasn't all in my head. Gloria wouldn't come back in a day or so, laughing and saying, "You actually thought I was gone? You are messed up."

The thing that really got me up off my ass was Reggie. He came up to the apartment on the third day and pounded on my door, refusing to stop, no matter how much I groaned and complained.

"I know you must still be nursing the worst hangover on the face of the fuckin' planet, but there's work to be done if you want to get your pay check."

About two minutes later I had rolled myself out of bed and was brewing myself a pot of coffee while I pulled on my work clothes. I poured myself a cup, downed it in about thirty seconds, left the rest, and headed downstairs.

I worked for a good four hours straight.

It felt good to be concentrating on getting marker off the bathroom wall instead of the look on Gloria's face when we last spoke. I didn't have to think about how scared she looked or how angry/crazy/idiotic I looked.

Just scrubbing KATTIE IS A GOOD FUCK and CALL THIS NUMBER FOR A GOOD TIME and SAM CAN GO SCREW HIMSELF off the wall.

Very therapeutic somehow.

The following Monday I checked the mail to get my pay check and nearly pissed myself. There was a post card from Tunny.

I shot upstairs to my apartment and started to read. I could practically see Tunny in my mind, sighing and practically pulling out his hair as he tried to respond to my letter. He never was the biggest letter writer on the planet. he never knew what to say, and when he did he didn't know how to phrase it.

I read his post card about three times.

The band and the life I figured, and the girlfriend I figured was that girl mentioned in the article I picked up last month.

I wasn't expecting the ex-wife though. Ex-wives, actually. When had he been married the first time? Why did he get married AGAIN? We're talking about the Jesus of Suburbia here, the guy who taught me all this shirt, who thought as soon as you fell in love, your life was over.

I half-smiled when I read about the house. Good to know that he finally had a place. The car was a cool thing too, I'm pretty sure the car we had originally gone on tour with was his dad's. I guess Tunny was planning on becoming a one-man show, or was maybe going to have a side project of some sort. Why else would he mention learning how to play the drums AND the guitar.

Maybe he just felt like showing off.

You never could really tell with Tunny.

The kids weren't really a shock either. Jasper had mentioned them in the article. What I hadn't realized was that there were so many. I know he mentioned just two, but that only showed that there were probably more. And for a while I couldn't figure out where in the hell the Bay was, but then I remembered that Shitsville had been awfully close to the docks back home. When had he started calling Shitsville "the Bay" anyway? And when did this kid in New York show up?

The real thing that shocked me was that he'd been sober for 22 days. Tunny, the guy who had taught me that drugs, sex, and booze were the basis of really living, had been sober for 22 days.

I was almost afraid that the sky was going to fall on us any second as extreme, God-fearing people ran around the streets screaming, "THE END IS NEIGH, HAVE YOU REPENTED YOUR SINS?"

Then I glanced at the area where the return address was supposed to go. Something had been written, but it was scribbled out, obviously rethought before sent off. He didn't want me finding him. And I was okay with that. I didn't really want to find him anyway.

I was going home.

Back to Shitsville.

And I needed to start packing.

Dear J.
I got a rock and roll band
I got a rock and roll life
I got a rock and roll girlfriend
And another ex-wife
I got a rock and roll house
I got a rock and roll CAR
I play the shit out the drums
And I can play the guitar
I got a kid in New York
I got a kid in the Bay
I haven't drank or smoked nothin'
In over 22 days
So get off my case
.................-Tunny