My Name Is Jimmy and You Better Not Wear It Out

"Jimmy, we need to get you the fuck out of here."

I stared at him. He just nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the damn world and he had been on the same wave length with me the whole time I was in the bathroom. Damn blond bastard had taken the words right out of my mouth.

"You and me, we don't belong here, but where as I could probably live my life here and feel somewhat content working from home or some shit like that, you will fucking suffocate and die here."

I waited for him to say something else, but he didn't. He just buried his face in my mop of spiky brown hair for a minute, kissed the top of my head, then went back to eating chips. And I was insanely glad he didn't whisper, "Do anything for ya?" after.

here's something you should know about Tunny; he will jump anything with a postal code. He has done anything and everything with probably every female AND male in Shitsville and Jingletown combined.

And practically everyone knows that I'm the only one who hasn't given into his charms, high or sober, and he's been trying to get in my pants since I turned 16. And to a lot of people, a year was a long time of being able to keep him out of them.

I just don't swing that way. And let me tell you, over half of the male population that Tunny has fucked didn't swing that way until Tunny came around. And they probably won't ever swing that way for any guy other than Tunny.

To be blunt: Tunny is a fucking sex GOD. And if you think otherwise, be prepared for the fuck of your lifetime, because Tunny isn't giving up his title to anyone. Not even me.

"Chris....Christian...god, Tunny, where are we even going to GO after we get out of Shitsville?"

'One, don't call me Christian unless you want me to punch your fucking lights out, and two, the band is going on our soon. I'll need some company on the road. Anyways, it's time to get you back home."

He pulled me up and I staggered into the back of his car with a pair of Technicolor dwarves that were probably part of the high because; one, Tunny never let dwarves in his car (mostly because there was a population of ZERO dwarves in Shitsville), two, both dwarves were wearing bright pink sundresses while being obviously male, and three, I honestly could not even fathom this shit when I was sober.

I was beyond the realm of comprehension at that point, so when the dwarves started talking at me, I just grinned and nodded, maybe gave a few "Mmmhmmm"s at random points to make them think I was listening. It seemed to work, because they just kep talking and talking in their whiney, high-pitched voices.

After what seemed to be about five second, I felt the car stop, and I heard Tunny telling me to get the fuck out of his car. And I did. After whining about wanting him to take me to get french fries for about ten minutes.

When he finally got me out of his car, I stumbled up and into the house, locking the door behind me.

"Mom? You home?"

I searched the lower half of the house, then trudged up stairs. Maybe she was home and sleeping already. And if she wasn't, maybe I wouldn't have to go out and find her tomorrow morning. Maybe she would come home by herself, and I wouldn't have to go trudging around town to find her on foot because she took my god damned car again.

"Of course you'll have to go find her tomorrow morning, you little shit. Haven't you learned your fucking lesson yet?"

My head shot up, only to lock onto my own gaze staring back at me. I could feel my heart beating faster. God, I didn't want this to happen tonight. Why did I let Tunny take me home? Why didn't I completely insist on him taking me to get fries? Why didn't I ask to sleep over at his house like I usually do on nights like this?

"Because you didn't want to be raped in your fucking sleep, you shit."

"Tunny wouldn't do that to me, you fu-" I caught myself. I wasn't supposed to be talking to him, let alone seeing him. "Stop talking to me. Go away."

My reflection stepped out of the hallway mirror and swaggered up to me.

"What, isn't therapy helping, Jimmy boy? Aren't the pills working?" He sounded concerned, but he was just fucking mocking me.

"Go away."

"I'm obviously not going away, no matter how much you tell me to, no matter how far away you get from this place."

I wanted to sink to the floor and find my happy place. I needed to get a grip.

"You can't go to your happy place, Jim. Sara was your happy place. Where the fuck is she now? Oh, that's right. She's out fucking some other shit that isn't you."

I wanted to cry, but crying was giving in to him. Crying was showing him my weaknesses. I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't real. He was in my head.

"That's right. I'm in your fucking head. And I'm never going to leave."

And like that he was gone. All I was looking at was my reflection in the hallway mirror. And his words fucking hit me like a bullet to the brain. And that's when I let myself sink to the ground and sob my fucking eyes out.

Because he wasn't going away.

And I fucking knew it.

Dearly Beloved, are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
............................................Are we demented?
............................................Or am I disturbed?
The space that's inbetween insane and insecure
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
............................................Am I retarded?
............................................Or am I just overjoyed?
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word and that's my best excuse