Status: Missed this?
Giving Up the World
Chapter 23
Frank
September of 1995
Drugs. Drugs, drugs, drugs. I need them. Gerard used to need them and now I need them. Drugs. Alcohol. Something. Something that'll make me forget everything. But where do I find it? I don't have the money to buy drugs. I'm not old enough to buy beer. I wonder if my mom has any. My dad drinks so maybe he left some.
For the past two hours I've been thinking about drugs and alcohol. That's it. Ever since Gerard hung up I wanted someone but I figured out it was really something. Gerard did drugs. He smoked weed. I think he even had some cocaine. I know he drank a lot and he still does. Do I really want to be like Gerard though? Yes. He was depressed, right? Sure.
After my mom left I went down the stairs and began to search the kitchen. I hadn't found anything yet. Nothing. I looked through all the pantries and cabinets but I couldn't find any alcohol.
The next place I searched was the basement fridge. Jack pot. I had found my dad's beer. An eight pack of Budwiser. Perfect.
I grabbed the eight pack and hauled it up to my room. Once I was in my room and took out a beer and opened it. It ran down my throat, a new taste for me. I hated it. But I continued to drink. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever swallowed, but I kept going.
I was now on my third beer and it had only been 20 minutes. I could now feel the effects of it settling in me. The blurred vision, the room spinning, the awareness. I could feel it all. I was just waiting for my mind to decide to do something stupid. I had no control over myself anymore, the beer was in control.
As I took a swig from my fifth beer, the stupidness finally came. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called up Gerard.
"Hello?" Wow, my hearing sucks currently.
"GERARD!!" I yelled into the phone as I spilled a little of my beer on my bed.
"Wow... Frank you're a little loud, why? Are you staying with your mom?" He asked with a confused tone.
I attempted to sit up in my bed but failed so I just continued to lay there, "Nope. I - I don't kno - wait. Who were we talking about? Your mom? WHY WOULD I STAY WITH YOUR MOM?!" I began to laugh so hard as if that was the funniest thing in the world.
"Frank you're acting strange... Are you - are you high?" He asked a little surprised.
"Nope!" I giggled. I took another swig of my beer and crumpled up the aluminum once I knew all of it's contents was gone. "I'm drunk!" I cheered as I rolled off my bed, falling, and got my sixth beer.
"You're drunk?!" Gerard exclaimed.
I giggled even more as I opened the beer, "Yup." I plopped back down on the bed as I continued to drink.
"Frank you're going to be in so much shit, why would you do that?!" He yelled.
"You do it...."
"So! Frank you better not do anything stupid, where are you?" He asked frantically.
"Home." I sang to him.
"Stay there. Don't leave, you hear me?" He asked.
"You know Gerard, I think that William friend of yours is really cute. He's geeky but cute." I spoke, no longer having an attention span.
I heard Gerard grunt, "Frank I'm coming to get you. You're lucky I'm only about 30 minutes away. Don't lea-"
"Will you ask William out for me?!" I cheered, interrupting him.
"FRANK! You've got a girlfriend! Now listen to me, stay in your room. I'll be there in 30 minutes -"
"Why is the sky blue? Does the sky reflect the ocean or does the ocean reflect the sky - OH! What color would the ocean and sky be if neither had color? Would they be clear? Gerard are you coming soon, 'cause I'm almost out of beer and I need more. Could you get me more? I need more. Is Willi -"
"FRANK! STOP TALKING! I'm coming, just hold on!"
For the next twenty five minutes I stayed on the phone with Gerard until he finally showed up. I went to go get the door for him. I feel down the stairs on my way. I had now completed the eight pack of beer and was so out of it.
"Gee!" I cheered, opening the front door.
"Frank, God damn it, come here." He said, grabbing me by my wrist and pulling me up the stairs. He laid me on my bed and told me not to move. I thought his anger was quite funny though.
The next thing I remember is Gerard bringing me water and some pills but, I blacked out before I could comprehend anything.
September of 1995
Drugs. Drugs, drugs, drugs. I need them. Gerard used to need them and now I need them. Drugs. Alcohol. Something. Something that'll make me forget everything. But where do I find it? I don't have the money to buy drugs. I'm not old enough to buy beer. I wonder if my mom has any. My dad drinks so maybe he left some.
For the past two hours I've been thinking about drugs and alcohol. That's it. Ever since Gerard hung up I wanted someone but I figured out it was really something. Gerard did drugs. He smoked weed. I think he even had some cocaine. I know he drank a lot and he still does. Do I really want to be like Gerard though? Yes. He was depressed, right? Sure.
After my mom left I went down the stairs and began to search the kitchen. I hadn't found anything yet. Nothing. I looked through all the pantries and cabinets but I couldn't find any alcohol.
The next place I searched was the basement fridge. Jack pot. I had found my dad's beer. An eight pack of Budwiser. Perfect.
I grabbed the eight pack and hauled it up to my room. Once I was in my room and took out a beer and opened it. It ran down my throat, a new taste for me. I hated it. But I continued to drink. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever swallowed, but I kept going.
I was now on my third beer and it had only been 20 minutes. I could now feel the effects of it settling in me. The blurred vision, the room spinning, the awareness. I could feel it all. I was just waiting for my mind to decide to do something stupid. I had no control over myself anymore, the beer was in control.
As I took a swig from my fifth beer, the stupidness finally came. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called up Gerard.
"Hello?" Wow, my hearing sucks currently.
"GERARD!!" I yelled into the phone as I spilled a little of my beer on my bed.
"Wow... Frank you're a little loud, why? Are you staying with your mom?" He asked with a confused tone.
I attempted to sit up in my bed but failed so I just continued to lay there, "Nope. I - I don't kno - wait. Who were we talking about? Your mom? WHY WOULD I STAY WITH YOUR MOM?!" I began to laugh so hard as if that was the funniest thing in the world.
"Frank you're acting strange... Are you - are you high?" He asked a little surprised.
"Nope!" I giggled. I took another swig of my beer and crumpled up the aluminum once I knew all of it's contents was gone. "I'm drunk!" I cheered as I rolled off my bed, falling, and got my sixth beer.
"You're drunk?!" Gerard exclaimed.
I giggled even more as I opened the beer, "Yup." I plopped back down on the bed as I continued to drink.
"Frank you're going to be in so much shit, why would you do that?!" He yelled.
"You do it...."
"So! Frank you better not do anything stupid, where are you?" He asked frantically.
"Home." I sang to him.
"Stay there. Don't leave, you hear me?" He asked.
"You know Gerard, I think that William friend of yours is really cute. He's geeky but cute." I spoke, no longer having an attention span.
I heard Gerard grunt, "Frank I'm coming to get you. You're lucky I'm only about 30 minutes away. Don't lea-"
"Will you ask William out for me?!" I cheered, interrupting him.
"FRANK! You've got a girlfriend! Now listen to me, stay in your room. I'll be there in 30 minutes -"
"Why is the sky blue? Does the sky reflect the ocean or does the ocean reflect the sky - OH! What color would the ocean and sky be if neither had color? Would they be clear? Gerard are you coming soon, 'cause I'm almost out of beer and I need more. Could you get me more? I need more. Is Willi -"
"FRANK! STOP TALKING! I'm coming, just hold on!"
For the next twenty five minutes I stayed on the phone with Gerard until he finally showed up. I went to go get the door for him. I feel down the stairs on my way. I had now completed the eight pack of beer and was so out of it.
"Gee!" I cheered, opening the front door.
"Frank, God damn it, come here." He said, grabbing me by my wrist and pulling me up the stairs. He laid me on my bed and told me not to move. I thought his anger was quite funny though.
The next thing I remember is Gerard bringing me water and some pills but, I blacked out before I could comprehend anything.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry it took me forever!I've been busy.