Giving Up the World

She hugged me. As soon as we were in Mikey's room, she had her arms draped over my shoulders and her head buried in my neck. I was in shock at first, and I didn't know why she had her arms around me, but I wrapped mine around her waist and didn't question her. I just enjoyed having her in my arms.

"You're going to be in so much trouble, Frank. Why'd you do all that?" Annabell asked, still in my arms.

I just shrugged and looked to Mikey who was sitting on his bed looking at us, "I don't really think before I do things. The motive comes after I've already taken action."

"Clearly he didn't think. Now they'll probably not let him around here for awhile." A voice came from the door of the room.

Annabell and I let go of each other, but I kept an arm around her waist. Mikey stood up and walked a bit forward, next to me, and we all all looked towards the door. Gerard stood there, leaning against the door frame, staring at me. His stare was filled with disappointment and a bit of anger. I never knew why, but whenever Gerard looked disappointed in me, it felt like a kick to the gut. I don't know why he did this to me, but he did. Of course he's important to me, but I never knew he'd be so important.

"Don't say that, Gerard. Be nice." Mikey spoke up. "They're not gonna make him stay away."

Gerard shrugged and walked forward, "Whatever you say."

He walked right up to me and grabbed the collar of my shirt. He pulled me away from Annabell and Mikey roughly, and suddenly, all my fears of him hurting me came back. I closed my eyes and dropped to the ground, forcing Gerard to loose his balance and fall as well. I heard him curse at me as I curled into a ball.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Gerard asked angrily as he stood back up, "Get up. I'm not gonna hurt..." And as that word left his lips, he stopped. He realized. He understood. "Frank..." His voice was now sincere and sorry. "I'm sorry. Please, get up."

I opened my eyes and looked up at him, still somewhat scared. He looked so sad, though. He looked so upset with himself. I sat up slowly and looked back at Annabell and Mikey. Mikey looked ready to jump into action while Annabell looked like she had taken a few steps back.

I turned back to Gerard who now had his hand stretched out to me, offering his assistance to help me up. I looked at his hand for a few moments before taking it in my own. He pulled me up as I pushed up from the ground. He looked at me for a long time and didn't let go of my hand either. He just... stared. It was weird but I didn't say anything. It looked as if he were studying me. Like he was going to be quizzed on my appearance.

He suddenly spoke and tore his eyes away from me, though. He requested Mikey and Annabell to leave for a moment. I assured them that I'd be okay and they did as they were told. They left, Mikey shutting the door behind him. And so the staring continued.

"Wh-why're you looking at me?" I stuttered out. "And why are you st-still holding my hand?" I added.

His hand let go of mine quickly, just as quickly as his gaze dropped to the floor and he stepped back. "You're afraid of me."

"No. I-I'm not." I tried my best to make him feel better, even if it meant lying. "It was just a reaction. S-Some kids at my new school give me a hard time. I'm not afraid of you." It wasn't a complete lie. The kids at my new school really did give me a hard time.

He looked back at me, "Do you forgive me? For what I did to you that day?"

This time, I looked away. I didn't know if I had forgiven him for what he had done. I don't want to hold a grudge, but stuff like that tends to stick in your mind. It's not something so easily forgotten.

"I don't know." I confessed to him. "I'm sorry."