I'm Feelin' so Low

I was sitting, waiting for the door to slam again and for my world to be turned upside down for the fourth time this week. It happened every night, and I knew what was upon me when my father stepped through that door. It had been on-going for months, I should know.

I could hear the stomping of his footsteps as he neared the door, closer. Closer. I shuddered with fear as the thought of what would happen to me tonight ran through my head.
“Where’s my dinner?”, my father roared
“I.. I haven’t ma-” I couldn’t finish the sentence my body was paralyzed.
“WHY?”, he screamed in my face
I didn’t answer, I glared at him. His fists hitting my ribs, this though, was not unusual. I’ve almost began to find it painless, almost.
“I might as well do everything my self ‘round here! YOUR USELESS!”, he shouted pushing me to the floor and storming through to his bedroom.

I sat weeping on the sofa, I just wanted my mother back. He was fine when she was alive, after she was gone he started inflicting his pain and anger on me. I have the bruises to prove such things.

I am rarely allowed out of the house, apart from school. I’ve been strictly told not to talk to anyone, he’s worried in case I tell the world what he does to me; though I’d never. I fear what he’d do if I did.

So yeah, my name is Aidan Maree Vaughan. I'm almost sixteen and, I’m a girl, thanks. I’ve just moved here, to Orange County, California and the most important thing of all: My father beats me, get with it.

- - - -

I stepped on the school bus, but once again my fragile, hurt body shivered with the cold. I saw a girl that seemed reasonably kind, I smiled softly as I sat down next to her.

“Hey, I’m Dixie.” she gave me her hand.
“I’m Aidan”, I replied. Giving my hand and placing it in hers
“New then?”
“Sure am..” My eyes almost filling with tears

“Are you okay?” Dixie rubbed my arm friendly, I winced.
I felt as if I was about to burst out crying there and then, telling everyone what kind of a monster my father was and that’s why we moved here in the first place. The neighbours expected something was up, so we fled.

Dixie must have realised that I was a freak, surely.
“I’m fine, just tired from moving and stuff. You?”

She gazed at me worry in her deep brown eyes, she wasn’t convinced. Her mouth was just about to open, to begin talking but the bus pulled up at the school. I’ve never been so glad for that moment in my life.

Dixie however, caught up with me and stayed at my side while we walked through the gates. It was the only place I felt safe from him, physically. Mentally he would always haunt me. A fresh start in a new school, the place where kids were bound to tease me by my name, tease me about my looks and how I act - it was the same in my old school.. But it was better than nothing.

“Do you know what registration your in Aidan?”, Dixie asked glancing down at me. She was a bit taller than me, only by an inch or so.
“5.3” I replied quickly
“Oh! Same. Great, at least you’ll know someone. It’s death when you’re new and you know nobody!”

Huh? I was new to her. I didn’t know her.
“Yeah, beats”, I replied biting on my bottom lip.

“You can sit next to me and the guys at lunch. If you want, we’ll welcome you with open arms.”
“Guys..?”
“Don’t worry, Matt, Brian, Zacky and Jimmy don’t bite. They’ll probably take a shine to you.”
“Interesting”, I mumbled.

“So where you originally from?”, she asked
“North Carolina.”
“Woah, your far from home then!”
“Yeah.. I guess.” I rolled my eyes, questions, questions. I hate questions.
“I’m sure you’ll fit in though, it’s great here!” she exclaimed excitedly, I wasn’t so sure.

We stepped through the registration doors, when the teacher, Mr Baxter called me over to his desk. His blue eyes caught the lights as I walked over to him, I almost drooled by accident, of course.

“You do know you have to say an introduction in front of the class as the bell rings, don’t you?” Mr Baxter explained
“I do? Nobody told me.” I bit my bottom lip.

“Don’t worry. There’s another new kid.”
My stomach settled then, at least I wouldn’t be the only one.
I stood in front of the class, shaking a little.

“Well I’m Aidan Vaughan…” I began, but got interrupted by some dude that obviously thought he was so ‘awesome’.

“What kind of name is that for a girl?!”, he shouted, the class laughed of course..

“I don’t know.. I didn’t choose it, did I?” I shook my head “Anyway, I’m from North Carolina, no I do not speak North Carolinian. I speak fluent English.”

“Are you sure you’re a girl?” the same dude shouted out, already I was making some enemies. Mr Baxter knew I was struggling carrying on up there after that and kindly stood in.
“Thank you, Aidan. You may go sit down.”

There was two spare seats beside Dixie of course I was going to choose there.
Then, the next new kid walked through the door. Quite short, for a dude. He had a small black ‘hawk, and hazel-ish brown eyes. And he had a rancid shirt on, my favorite band. Ever.

“Nice for you to join us.”
“Sorry, I missed the bus..”, he panted
“Fair enough. Give use your introduction now.”

“Well, hey”, he panted again, still out of breath “I’m.. Johnny, call me Johnny..” he took deep breaths in. “I just moved here from down state. Yeah.”

Mr Baxter noticed he was struggling to stay up there too, and guided this Johnny kid to a seat. The one, right next to me.

I seen him roll his eyes, in an awkward fashion.
“I’m Aidan.” I couldn’t let him suffer in silence, thinking he was the only new kid “I’m new too.”

“You are? That’s sweet.”

“What do you have first?” I flashed a smile at him, trying to be as polite as possible. “I have art, with Mrs Michaels,” I grumbled.

“Oh, me too, that’s great, at least I have someone I know..”

What was with everyone saying that like the knew me? They knew nothing about me. At all.

“I have Mr Marsh. But I’d happily show you the way to your class, if you want?”

The bell sounded for the end of registration, we threw our seats under the desk and spilled out onto the quad. Thousands of pupils just seemed to appear from nowhere.

"It's just up here.." said Dixie, showing myself and Johnny the stairwell that would lead to our art class. I began to wonder why the teachers didn't do it. Wasn't it their job to be helpful? To show you around when you're a new kid? Clearly not.

“Heh, so you like Rancid?” I asked Johnny, just simply trying to make conversation as I didn’t like the quietness.

“I do! How’d you know?”

“A girl knows these things, I guess…” I replied with hints of sarcasm in my voice.

Mrs Michaels didn't look as what I expected at all. She was tall, of slender build, fiery red hair and pale skin. She looks as if she was in her late twenties or young thirties nothing older than that. No way. I pictured her to be a small, round woman, with long grey hair pulled back in a bun. I imagined her voice to be high pitched and irritating but it wasn't. Her voice was soft, like velvet.

I chose the seat up the back, while Johnny chose the seat diagonal to my own and a few rows in front. I looked up, gazing at everyone. Imagining what secrets they held behind their eyes. Making stories up in my head about what they did in their spare time. What sort of music they listened to, the sports they played. I thought of it all. I thought about their home lives, if they were any similar to my own. Gosh, I so desperately craved for someone that understood my pain and my anger. Someone I could trust. I hadn't found them yet, I planned to though.

I looked up from my drawing, to notice Johnny smirking at me. I gave him a smile back and he sat back properly in his seat. His mohawk lightly moving with the wind from the open windows. I wanted to touch it, to see if it felt as bouncy as it looked. 'Not right now, concentrate Aidan.' I told myself, looking back down at my drawing. 'Ugh, this is not right at all..' I muttered, my arms ached and I couldn't draw properly.

"Is there a problem, Aidan?" Mrs Michaels asked, her velvety voice filling the air as she walked towards me.

"I.. I can't get this bit right!" I complained, I hated failing in drawing it was always something I was good at

"Give me your arm..", she looked at me her grey eyes sparkled. I pulled my arms close beside me, I hurt too much. Instead of risking getting caught with bruises, I decided to give her my arm. Shuddering as she moved it along the page. "There you go, you see. You just needed a little help that's all." her white teeth gleamed as she smiled at me, almost a touch of sympathy in her eyes. I looked back down at my drawing, rightly so, the petal on the rose was now a lot better than what I first started.

The bell sounding for second period rang, I didn't want to leave that class. I didn't want to leave Mrs Michaels' velvety soft voice that reminded me so much of my mothers. Yet, I hurried out of that class my hair in front my face acting as my shield against the world.