Even If Saving You Sends Me to Heaven

I was surprised that Zane’s sleep was barely disturbed by the screeching alarm clock. Without even rolling over, he lifted and hand and smashed it on the digital clock until it was effectively silenced. He continued to sleep as if nothing had happened.

What surprised me more was the flood of annoyed thoughts that invaded my head. They were wordless feelings and pictures that belonged to Zane, not me. I put my hand to my head and made a face. No one had told me I’d be able to know what he was thinking.

I realized I had been wrong before. He wasn’t as asleep as his appearance suggested. He was half awake and wishing his alarm clock would go to hell.

Despite my new and unwanted ability, I just had to crack a smile. Zane was amusing at the least. He remained in bed until his eleven year old sister burst into the room.

“Get up!” Samantha roared.

“Go away, brat,” Zane mumbled. The distaste for her in his mind was verging on hatred, and it made me frown. He obviously didn’t have a good relationship with his half sister.

“You better get up today, or I swear I will kill you,” Samantha threatened. “You have to take me to school too, you know.”

Zane rolled his eyes, but since he was already awake, he decided to get up anyways. “Just get out of my room so I can change,” he growled. When she left Zane began to change, and I blushed and turned around. I tried to ignore the thoughts that crossed his mind while he did it.

Zane had only been awake for minutes, and I already felt overwhelmed. I felt myself hating everything about him. I hated his good looks, his attitude, and his thoughts, but most importantly I detested the fact that I had to deal with him for an indefinite amount of time. I trudged behind him grudgingly while he completed his task of getting ready for school in five minutes.

I lounged in the back seat of Zane’s expensive black Mustang while he drove Samantha to her elementary school. Neither of them said a word to each other. After he dropped Samantha off, I realized he wasn’t going directly to the high school.

Trying to pick through the meaningless things he thought, I discovered he was headed to a house that belonged to a girl named Mara. I also understood from his thoughts that Mara was his girlfriend.

She was one of the most beautiful girls I’d seen, but her beauty wasn’t the normal kind. Her wavy brown hair matched her big, wide eyes. Her nose and lips were almost too small. She was of average height.

I thought she would’ve looked better without her obviously overdone tan and piles of makeup, but Zane seemed to disagree. He particularly liked her short skirt and low neckline, which made me curl my lip in disgust.

Mara ran to the passenger seat. She promptly received a long and extremely obscene kiss from Zane when she got in the car. I made a mental note to search for a way to block out Zane’s thoughts in my handbook once he was asleep that night.

The only thing that made it slightly bearable was that Zane really did love Mara, despite his vulgar thoughts. He loved her for more than just her strange beauty.

School was so much worse. I had to sit through it, and I found myself as bored and inattentive as Zane was. I did figure out more about him, though.

Zane was not incredibly “popular,” but he did hang out with a group of notoriously well-known derelicts. In fact, that very night Zane would be going with Mara to a Friday night party that would more than likely involve various illegal substances that I did not approve of. Letting Zane drink alcohol and do drugs didn’t seem like protecting him like I was supposed to, but I didn’t come up with a way to stop him either.

Zane took Mara home before he went to pick Samantha up from school. Samantha was waiting outside the already deserted elementary school. Her expression was dejected, but she immediately looked fiery when she saw Zane’s car.

As she got in silently, I realized how unlike Zane she looked. Her eyes were very dark brown, and her hair was a straight black that contrasted with Zane’s blonde. I guessed it had to do with their different fathers.

“You didn’t have to take so long,” she huffed resentfully.

“If you don’t like to wait, ride the bus home,” Zane snapped at her.

“I hate the bus,” she muttered, ending the conversation with that.

I was very curious as to what made the bus worse than having Zane drive her home, but I accepted that I might never find out.

When Zane got home, he changed, stole some of his uncle’s alcohol to bring to the party, and told Samantha to make her own dinner. Then he drove to pick up Mara. They went to one of Zane’s best friend’s house.

I was glad that Zane didn’t do any drugs, but he did drink a ton. I watched helplessly as his thoughts, words, and vision got more and more slurred and jumbled up. Mara drank just as much as he did, and when Zane was going to drive home, I decided I needed to act. I couldn’t let him drive when he could barely walk!

So I reached into the hood of his Mustang and tore out an important-looking piece of metal while no one was looking. When the car didn’t start, Zane’s jumbled thought of confusion hurt my head. He went to his friend Nate, who owned the house, and told him what had happened.

Nate waved a hand dismissively and told Zane he and Mara could sleep in his parents’ room because they were gone. Zane and Mara stumbled in the direction he’s pointed.