Even If Saving You Sends Me to Heaven

I knew the situation. I knew that what was going to happen was inevitable, and I wouldn’t be able to stop it. Zane and Mara were both extremely drunk, and they were going to sleep in the same room. In the same bed.

Although I definitely dreaded having to be in the same room as them, I was more worried about Zane’s thoughts. I knew I did not want to hear what he was hearing, see what he was seeing, or feel what he was feeling.

Just as I was desperately wondering where I’d left my handbook, it appeared in my hands out of nowhere. I took note of this ability, thinking it might come in handy. I searched through the book quickly until I found what would help me.

It instructed me to rub my forehead and imagine Zane’s thoughts fading away. As I followed these instructions, the feelings and pictures slowly stopped, and his thoughts turned into a bearable buzz in the back of my mind.

But that didn’t stop my actual ears from hearing what they were doing, so – feeling like a child – I sat down, closed my eyes, pressed my palms to my ears, and hummed one of my favorite songs.

After quite a while, they fell silent. I rubbed my forehead again to allow Zane’s thoughts back into my head. I expected him to be passed out, but a few vivid thoughts that whizzed through his half-conscious mind made me wince. Next to him, Mara seemed to be sleeping very soundly.

When Zane was finally asleep, my mind was left in peace. I realized I didn’t feel tired at all and assumed I never would. I leaned my back against the wall, but I felt a lump in my way. When I shifted to the side, it was still there. Annoyed, I felt behind me and gasped.

The lump was inside my shirt and attached to my back. Alarmed, I lifted my shirt and felt it. My panic subsided when I felt it was actually two small patched of little fluffy feathers. I laughed to myself at the absurdity as I realized excitedly, I’m growing wings!

My moment was swiftly interrupted when Zane jerked awake, his stomach churning. I grimly followed him when he sprinted to the bathroom and threw up violently in the toilet. For a second I almost felt bad for him. He was helpless and sick, and his thoughts were humbler and less ignorant now that he was in pain. I lost sympathy when I remembered he’d brought this upon himself.

Even so, I couldn’t believe just how much pain he was really in. He had a vicious headache that was more of a steady sting than a throb, and he couldn’t remember where he was.

I obviously hadn’t been a saint in my lifetime, otherwise I wouldn’t have had to be one now. I knew what a hangover felt like. I’d been old enough to do what he did. However, I was a little worried, because what Zane was experiencing was far worse than anything I had. Maybe I felt a little bad for him after all.

After he washed his mouth and stepped carefully back into the bedroom, his mind seemed to piece together what had happened. As he got back into the bed with Mara, his thoughts were innocent and pitiful. He just wanted the pain to go away.

I watched him pensively as his shaking body gradually relaxed and allowed him to fall asleep. I rubbed my temples, trying to ease the agony. I wished I was only able to hear Zane’s thoughts and not his pain. I could’ve blocked it out, but I’d already decided I would only do that if it was necessary.

Both of them slept well into the day. Nate finally came in, ungently waking them by pulling open the blinds and stating, “You have to get up now. My parents will be home soon!”

The smarting in Zane’s head seared when he opened his eyes, making me flinch. He groaned and pressed his palms to his temples.

“You alright?” Mara asked sweetly, putting a hand on his shoulder. She seemed fine, and I wondered if she’d even been that drunk.

“Sure, fine,” Zane grumbled. “I’ll drive you home.”

“You can’t,” she replied. “Your car won’t start.”

“Oh right,” he pretended to remember, when in reality his mind couldn’t even grasp one elusive memory from the night before. I would’ve been glad about that if I wasn’t so worried.

“I’ll drive you both home,” Nate offered. “You can take car of your car later.”

“Sure,” Zane agreed. He was unable to concentrate on the present. All he wanted to do was get home and crawl under the covers to shut out the light.

When Nate dropped Zane off at home, Zane barely even noticed Mara’s passionate goodbye kiss. His head was putting him through too much torture.

Zane entered the kitchen and saw his Uncle Adam sipping coffee at the table. The flood of emotions that filled him were not pleasant. If I’d thought he hated Samantha, this hatred didn’t even compare.

He was even more vexed when his uncle set down his mug and asked indifferently, “Where’s your car?”

“Won’t start,” Zane spat quietly. “I’ll take care of it with the credit card.”

To my surprise, his uncle didn’t say anything else. I was appalled when I realized his uncle wouldn’t have cared if Zane came home at all. He worked every day except Saturday. He gave Zane and Samantha money to live on and didn’t care what they did as long as they stayed out of his hair. No wonder Zane hated him.

I watched Zane curl up into a tiny ball under his covers, sick and trembling. This time I really did feel bad for him.